Chapter 47 Er Feng’s face is as sharp as a knife...
At the hour of Mao on x month x day of x year, the sky was about to brighten, and the dawn was breaking. Dark clouds loomed over the city, and the eaves of the Prince of Yan's mansion appeared lower than usual. A deep silence reigned within the mansion.
Why are there so many modifiers in this diary, why is it so long-winded?
Li Shimin was silent for a while after reading it, but he did not speak for the time being. He then continued reading:
"The King of Yan is fully clothed in his Mingguang armor. He's estimated to be over 185cm tall, and his legs are all below his waist.
That sturdy face, with sharp edges and corners like a knife and an axe, cuts through the walls of Xuanwu Gate..."
Li Shimin: ………???
Li Shimin's pupils were shocked. It took him a long time to digest this short paragraph. He felt sick all over.
"Wait a minute! What do you mean by a face chiseled with a knife and an axe?"
"This is saying that you are handsome and majestic, boss!
This is an idiom that we, the younger generation, often use to describe handsome guys. It’s quite advanced!
Li Shimin: ...The explanation seems reasonable, but it still feels wrong?
Worker No. 4 nodded frantically to increase his credibility. Li Shimin had no choice but to look through the diary again and found that this "sharp-faced face" appeared on almost every page, and appeared no less than dozens of times in the entire book.
[Ahahahahahahahahahaha that's right, we modern people really love to use this expression!
This is a compliment to your handsome appearance, Erfeng! 】
[Just read it more and you will get used to it. Some people can't even use this word when they want to!
For example, Sun Wuji, the leader of the dough group! 】
Really?
Could it be that they are lying to him because they are taking advantage of him because he has never been to the modern era?
Li Shimin continued to read with a half-believing and half-doubting attitude, and then his pupils dilated:
"The King of Yan, holding his sword, gave the King of Yue a smile that was three parts scornful, four parts cold, and seven parts careless, and said:
Oh, man...
... Li Mi knelt and begged for his leave. Suddenly, his jade crown shattered, and his long black hair fluttered in the wind. The man on the dragon throne's Adam's apple moved slightly, his eyes filled with domineering reluctance.
Oh, man, is this how you try to attract my attention?
If you have done it, how can all the nobles and common people in the court compare to you?"
Li Shimin:!!!
Li Shimin frowned, took a deep breath, took a few steps back strategically, and threw the daily record out directly:
"That's not what you wrote! Why do you interpret so many meanings into my smile?"
And that Adam's apple moving slightly, the description feels weird too?!
"But Your Majesty, what I recorded is all true! Weren't you somewhat disdainful and nonchalant towards the King of Yue at the time?
Three parts ridicule, four parts indifference, and seven parts indifference. Am I describing it correctly?"
Worker No. 4 said that he was very diligent and responsible in taking the boss's money, and did not miss even a single micro-expression or movement of the boss.
Even the slight movement of the Adam's apple was noticed, but this does not mean that his daily notes are more detailed, true and credible, much better than those of Chu Suiliang.
Li Shimin:!!!
I'm sorry, Chu Suiliang, please come back, I miss you!
Li Shimin stared wide-eyed and was stunned for a long time.
Amid the laughter of everyone in the sky, he showed the daily records to Guanyinbi in a depressed manner.
Guanyinbi didn't dare to accept it at first. After all, the emperor generally couldn't read such content that recorded the emperor's history, not to mention that she was a member of the harem.
But Li Shimin's expression was hard to describe, so Guanyinbi looked at him curiously for a few times, and then her expression froze.
Although the facts are correct, why does it look so weird?
And this "carved with a knife and an axe", why does it always appear together with her husband's face, and the adjectives are exactly the same as those in those fan fictions?
"Is this how modern people always record events?"
[Ahahaha, actually we have many genres, but this one is particularly popular and has the most readers!
Called the Overlord! Especially popular! 】
[Yes, yes, yes, everyone from my grandma to my six-year-old daughter loves watching it! Doesn’t this highlight how cool and awesome our Erfeng boss Mary Sue is!]
Is this working lady a wife? Does she specialize in writing domineering boss stories?
Then I also want to watch forced marriage, forced love, and forced plunder. Can you add another genre? 】
[You know what, every time an official resigns, Er Feng starts to seize them by force!
I'm done! If all history books were written like this, I would have read them all long ago!
Li Shimin couldn't understand and was greatly shocked.
Li Shimin recalled that he had seen others record the Xuanwu Gate Incident in a vague manner, so he asked the historian to delete the unnecessary words and write the facts directly.
But what about today's daily notes?
Li Shimin was filled with shock and confusion.
"So why do you have to describe it in such detail? Also, why do you have to record how many times I go to the bathroom every day and how long I spend there?
This is totally unnecessary!"
"Of course it's necessary!
Help your boss record your toilet time. When you are older, if you have frequent urination, urgency, incomplete urination, or other constipation, the doctor can detect the abnormality in advance and provide early diagnosis and treatment, which is good for your health!
[Yes, yes, yes. We modern people also carry watches with us to record our daily water drinking, toilet usage, and sleep habits!
This is normal! 】
Li Shimin: ???
Li Shimin couldn't stand it anymore, so he asked the worker to immediately delete these overly detailed descriptions and only keep the specific major events.
"Especially this description of 'slicing with a knife and an axe', I don't want to see it again!"
Worker No. 4 reluctantly said goodbye to "Perseverance Knife", but still asked with unwavering hope:
"Okay, boss, you have the final say on your daily schedule.
Can I draw if I don’t write?
One page for history, one page for painting! Don't worry, I'm a good sketcher and can draw quickly! "
Li Shimin sneered and wanted to fire him immediately, but Worker No. 4 immediately hugged his legs.
Such a big loser, where can I find a high-paying boss?
"Boss, I did something wrong, but you can't just fire me!
And if you fire me after reading the diary, your haters will accuse you of changing history again next time."
[Yes, yes, Erfeng, you have been secretly reading the daily records before, and now your haters are using this to say that you are the Emperor who changed history.
If you fire the person you just hired to write history, imagine what your haters will do to you in the future.
Li Shimin was depressed. Even Guanyinbi was shaking with laughter, and Li Shimin was in no mood to kiss and hug his wife.
It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. The imperial examination will be held soon. When a large number of talents are selected, this modern worker will be immediately transferred to another position!
When the time comes, immediately find someone to record it, so that no one will say anything about him!
As for how shocked the new attendant would be when he saw this domineering style of content and how long it would take to revise it, Li Shimin had no control over it for the time being.
Anyway, it’s better to use the ancients as attendants!
Hurry up and change all these "70% careless" expressions for him!
Li Shimin felt that his eyes were about to go blind, so he planned to eat some snacks gift packs given by modern people to calm his nerves.
Unexpectedly, he just took a sip of coffee with great interest and suddenly spat it out with a "Puff".
This thing is even more bitter than medicine!
But modern people insist on saying that this thing is refreshing, they often drink it, and have invented many ways to drink it, such as adding ice cubes?
Li Shimin simply couldn't understand.
"No, it's fine if you modern people don't like sweet things, but why do you like bitter drinks?"
Li Shimin couldn't quite accept it, but he didn't waste it and soon gave all the coffee to his ministers as a reward.
Let the ministers enjoy these overseas treasures slowly!
But soon, Li Shimin discovered the real modern good thing - spicy strips!
This stuff makes you feel refreshed when you take a bite while reviewing memorials. So Li Shimin became addicted to spicy strips. He ate half a box of spicy strips while reviewing memorials, and still felt unsatisfied:
“It’s you modern people who know how to cook delicious food!
I'm planning to open a larger dining hall in the front court. That way, if the civil and military officials are busy with state affairs late at night, someone who's hungry can go there to eat."
[It’s really our Erfeng, what a considerate and kind boss!
He had done this kind of thing during the Zhenguan period. No wonder Xu Maogong and the others were so fond of work because of Erfeng!
[Come and recruit our team! We've contracted university cafeterias before, and we guarantee we'll feed all the officials like piglets, just like the students!]
[Bah, your cafeteria is no good, you still have to rely on us!
We have professional nutritionists who specialize in formulating these foods, which are high in nutritional value, low in sugar and salt, and healthier!
Modern people seem to be complacent in everything they do. Soon the canteen contractors started arguing again, and Li Shimin just watched them arguing.
After arguing, we chose the one with the best value for money and a nutritionist, and added them all to the recruitment list.
However, the small canteen during the Zhenguan period was just a renovated dining room that added more food for the ministers. However, this modern canteen team is different.
Since there are more palaces in the Tang Dynasty now, they simply converted a palace into a model similar to a university cafeteria.
Officials were given tableware to choose their own dishes and meals, which was more palatable and less food wasted!
This canteen uses modern ingredients and tools every day, and the dishes made are more abundant and more flavorful. For a time, all the officials praised this canteen.
After a few days, Li Shimin found that his ministers asked for less leave, were more enthusiastic at work, and were more proactive when leaving work.
For example, today when it was lunchtime, Li Shimin had not yet dismissed the court, but a group of ministers suggested that they take a break first.
Then Guo Ziyi, Li Guangbi and other generals rushed out first, running faster than his famous horse, Te Le Piao.
A group of civil and military officials ran out of the high school cafeteria at twelve o'clock when classes were over and meals began.
Li Bai, Du Fu and other civil officials were unable to catch up with the military generals. They were so angry that they rolled up their sleeves and called them shameless. They also planned to ask Zhang Xun to bring people from the Censorate to impeach them for stealing food.
However, at this time, Zhang Xun, who had run to the cafeteria early to eat a homemade hot pot made of potato flour, was gasping for breath from the spiciness. He didn't care that his beard was covered in chili oil and ate it with great relish.
"Come, Your Majesty, try this shrimp paste again!
Our hotpot has to be spicy to be delicious! "
At this time, Wen Yuping, a modern worker who was also attending court, was not in a hurry to grab food. She sat at a table with three other workers' secretaries around Li Shimin and ate mutton in a copper hot pot together.
Li Shimin ate a lot of mutton and enjoyed it very much. He felt that he was getting fat because he didn't have to go to court every day and didn't have to fight wars.
I still have to find an opportunity to quietly avoid everyone and go hunting!
However, these modern people really know how to eat! These chili peppers and spicy strips, aren’t they more delicious than sweets?
[It's like this. The Tang Dynasty consumed a lot of sugar, mainly because they didn't have access to chili peppers. By the Song Dynasty, people generally liked spicy food.]
[This is great! With chili peppers, you Tang people can all eat less sugar, saving yourself from the three highs!]
Although eating too much chili pepper is not good, the main problem lies in the chrysanthemum, which is better than the health problems caused by eating too much sugar.
"Since you, my dear ministers, have almost finished your meal, let's continue with the discussion."
At this time, everyone had almost finished eating, but they were not in a hurry to leave. They were enjoying the milk tea and fruit plate provided by Mixue Bingcheng.
Li Shimin wasted no time and held a meeting in the dining hall:
"At that time, Suiyang City was in danger, and Zhang Xun sent people to seek help, but Helan Jinming, the governor of Jiangling, turned a blind eye, which almost led to the capture of Suiyang and the Huainan area of our Tang Dynasty falling into the hands of the rebels.
This is a heinous crime, I will never tolerate it!"
The problem of the Jiedushi was huge, but even Li Shimin could not abolish all of them at once.
Most of the towns in the world are under the control of the Jiedushi. If they all rebel together, no one can stop them.
First, they used one faction to fight against the other, and first directed their spearhead at the military governors who had been sitting on the sidelines and not joining the Tang Dynasty's rebellion suppression team.
The fence-sitters were dismissed or demoted one after another, and those like Helan Jinming who refused to provide assistance after receiving requests for help were directly executed.
Although some officials wanted to object and suggested easing the situation, Li Shimin quickly asked Zhang Xun to describe the situation of the city's lack of food and grass.
At this time, the Imperial Censor Zhang Xun, who had eaten and drunk his fill, and Nan Jiyun, one of the twelve generals of the imperial guards, were both filled with emotion, saying that the food and grass were almost gone, and the next step would be to eat people.
"If it weren't for Your Majesty leading the army to rescue us, I'm afraid my three thousand defenders would have been forced to eat human flesh to satisfy their hunger."
Upon hearing this, all the officials fell silent. Li Shimin quickly sent Li Siye to lead the Shence Army to Jiangling to take over the post of Jiedushi, and executed Helan Jinming in public to set an example.
Take over part of the Jiedushi's territory and transfer it to loyal and reliable people, and then slowly weaken the power of the remaining Jiedushi.
Li Shimin had plenty of patience when it came to governing the country.
After discussing the Jiedushi issue, Wen Yuping proposed revitalizing the Tang Dynasty's tourism industry:
"We can vigorously develop donkey transportation, which will boost local food, accommodation and other businesses."
[Wow, there's already shared donkey rides in the Tang Dynasty?]
[It has always been like this. Before the An-Shi Rebellion, scholars in the Tang Dynasty loved traveling.
But in ancient times, the roads were difficult to travel on and horses were expensive, so people rode donkeys. But riding donkeys also required raising donkeys, which was very troublesome!
So people would borrow a donkey when they got to a place and return it when they got back. This donkey system was actually quite complete.
“Tourism with overseas tourists will also become a hot spot in Datang, especially for farmers in the suburbs who can develop agritourism.
It would be even better if Your Majesty were willing to open some palaces for overseas visitors to visit."
"How can this be allowed? How can such disorderly people be allowed into your Majesty's palace?"
Guo Ziyi and the imperial guards were the first to express their disagreement. What if there was an assassin among these people?
And this is also a very excessive practice.
But Li Shimin was very confident. With the skills of those modern noobs, any assassin would not be able to escape his hands. Therefore, he was very tempted:
"Are there many of them? Are they very generous with their money?"
[Hahaha, of course! Not only can I spend money! I can also spend money to pick and farm. We modern people love to play with this!]
[Oh, oh, oh, the fields in ancient times were truly natural and pollution-free, with no pesticides or heavy metal pollution!
I'm going to pick and buy fruit myself! 】
[Can I check in at Your Majesty's Huaqing Hot Spring?
Even if the ticket price is a bit high, it’s worth it! 】
[Don't worry, Your Majesty. In modern times, during the National Day holiday, the number of tourists can reach over 500 million!
And half of them are crowding into Tiananmen Square. It's really too crowded. Why not divert some people to Datang?
Five hundred million people?!
Li Shimin's pupils suddenly dilated, and regardless of everyone's objections, he waved his sleeves and agreed:
"Hurry, hurry, book the tickets to Huaqing Palace immediately!"
"Also, now that tax reform discussions are almost complete, where do you plan to pilot the reform?"
Li Shimin and his court officials secretly speculated that Wen Yuping might choose the land of fish and rice in the south of the Yangtze River.
The area was less affected by war, had less resistance from the aristocratic families, and was rich in resources, making it easier to achieve political achievements.
However, Wen Yuping unexpectedly chose Fan Yang.
"Fan Yang? Are you sure?"
That was An Lushan's former nest in the north of Yan. The rebellion was only put down not long ago and it returned to the territory of the Tang Dynasty.
Not to mention the cold climate and scarce resources here, the resistance to implementing reforms alone cannot be underestimated. Local officials and powerful families are unlikely to cooperate easily.
“Everyone in the world knows that implementing reforms in Fanyang is the most difficult.
But if I can succeed here, wouldn't it prove that my economic policy is feasible? Then, Your Majesty's implementation of reforms throughout the country will also be smoother."
After hearing this, Li Shimin couldn't help but applaud:
"Madam Wen is truly courageous!
If you need anything, just tell me, I will give you my full support!"
Afterwards, Wen Yuping asked Liu Yan for his economic intelligence network so that he could investigate the land and population situation of local powerful people such as the Lu family of Fanyang.
However, Liu Yan flatly denied that he had such a person.
[Haha, don’t we, the descendants, know that he is just pretending! Isn’t it because he doesn’t want women to be in power?
Bah, the young lady went up to confront him! 】
Why would we modern people need his intelligence network? Wouldn't it be easier to just send a drone around and get a clear picture of the land situation?
Haha, you men are using your little thoughts in the wrong place! 】
Wen Yuping just smiled and did not expose the truth. Instead, she asked Li Shimin for the imperial sword.
Li Shimin asked doubtfully:
"If you want the power of life and death, I will grant it to you. Why are you so obsessed with a sword?"
Wen Yuping shook her head excitedly:
"Your Majesty, you may not know this, but the Imperial Sword has been my obsession since I was a child. I absolutely must have it!"
[I'm completely stunned. People in the Tang Dynasty knew about the Imperial Sword?]
[In fact, the Imperial Sword existed as early as the Han Dynasty, and it did indeed mean granting the power of life and death.
During the Song and Ming dynasties, the Imperial Sword allowed its bearer to execute low-ranking officials at will, but its actual power was not as exaggerated as portrayed in movies and TV shows.
However, the Tang Dynasty did not have such a system, and authorization had to be granted through imperial edicts.
Finally, Wen Yuping got the Erfeng version of the Imperial Sword that she had been longing for, and her face flushed with excitement.
Li Shimin was frightened by the reaction of the modern strong woman and hurriedly warned:
"This sword is not for you to kill people at will. Don't abuse it!"
"Don't worry, boss. I know what's going on."
Although the imperial sword allows people to act at their convenience, if one really wants to execute a local official, one still has to inform the court and follow the procedures.
"But Your Majesty, there is another person I need to use, that is Yuan Chao!"
Who is this person?
Oh, yes, he was the leader of the Zhejiang peasant uprising army that was previously recruited by Li Shimin, right?
[Isn't the rich lady going to deal with the aristocratic family? ]
Li Shimin also had doubts. The Lu family of Fanyang was powerful and deeply rooted, and any rash action would have a huge impact.
Wen Yuping only said:
"That depends on whether they cooperate or not. Anyway, I know my limits, so please don't worry about it, Your Majesty."
Li Shimin was stunned: "No, I think I am the emperor!"
Is this how you modern workers talk to your bosses?
We workers are paid to do our jobs, so we just need to do our jobs well. As for the operation process? Don't worry about it, boss!
[That's right, we workers can handle any hardship. As for where the hardship comes from, Erfeng, just don't ask!]
Li Shimin's brows twitched, and he felt as if he had fallen into a modern pit.
But on second thought, if I could become emperor again, I would want to discipline the aristocratic families anyway, so I might as well believe the lies of these modern people for once.
No matter how big the mess is, he, the emperor, will have to take care of it!
After listening to this, Wen Yuping was deeply moved by her boss and immediately accepted the order to go on a business trip, ready to do a great job.
However, before receiving Wen Yuping's reform memorial, Li Shimin first saw the imperial examination reform memorial drafted by the Ministry of Rites.
The more he read, the angrier he became. He threw the memorial to the ground and snorted coldly:
"It seems that I am usually too kind, and these people dare to pretend to obey me and secretly disobey me!
Do you really think I have a brain as stupid as Li Longji and Li Heng?"
As soon as he said this, he realized that it was inappropriate to call his nominal father directly, so he asked Worker No. 4 not to record this in the daily records.
Worker No. 4 did as he was told and recorded:
"The emperor said: That sentence doesn't count, cross it out."
So the above sentence appeared in the diary with a strikethrough in the middle like the Word version, but it still did not affect reading.
Worker: Anyway, I recorded it truthfully, and I also crossed it out as the boss asked. It’s perfect!
Li Shimin: ...I deserve to die for hiring modern people to write history!
Li Shimin ignored the troublesome modern people and continued to read memorials.
These officials from aristocratic families ostensibly reformed the imperial examination system and promoted self-recruitment, but in reality they drastically reduced the weight of policy essays and increased the weight of poetry, songs, and other content that the aristocratic families were good at.
Not only that, there was also a distinction between official and civilian files, as well as a special nomination system.
To put it bluntly, the children of officials and those from poor families were divided into two sections, A and B. The special nomination means that those who have failed the exam multiple times can still be admitted as an exception.
[Wow, isn’t this the ancient version of four plus four, and is it implemented nationwide?
They are so shameless! 】
“Aristocratic families have always had selfish motives.
But I didn't expect that even after I explained everything, they still dared to do this right under my nose!"
Li Shimin was furious and decided to take action against the person who drafted this policy.
He kept his troops in place and put the policy before all the civil and military officials to observe their attitudes. He found that the Jingzhao Wei family was the most excited.
This is because he is relying on the fact that his family has a new queen, and he is trying to expand his family and control the government.
Li Shimin wanted to kill the Wei family members who participated, but when he thought of the queen, he hesitated. After all, Guanyinbi was now a member of the Wei family.
[Shake like crazy! Erfeng, you can’t be shaken because of your wife!
How many people should Wei kill? Besides his wife, don't let all his nine clansmen go. Killing all his family members will deter others!
[A wife is a wife, and relatives are relatives. Erfeng, you can't go wrong if you listen to us!]
Li Shimin rubbed his temples and said with a headache:
"What's wrong with you modern people? Do you think hundreds of lives are a joke?
I just don't understand, what grudge do the noble families have against you? The Queen's mother's family, the Jingzhao Wei family, hasn't offended you either, right?"
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
