Chapter 65: The Erfeng coffin is in pieces?!
Good news! Most of the Tang Dynasty emperors' tombs are located in the Guanzhong region, known as the "Eighteen Tombs of Guanzhong." Zhaoling Mausoleum, among them, has been excavated!
[The even better news is that our descendants have carried out a rescue scientific excavation of the tomb of Emperor Xizong in the late Tang Dynasty!
They also discovered the only surviving coffin from the Tang Dynasty, which has high historical value.
Erfeng, you should thank us! 】
Li Shimin: ???
Li Shimin:!!!
Li Shimin was in a terrible state. These descendants were really too much!
"No, you dug up the tomb of our Tang Dynasty Emperor Li and said it was a rescue?
You guys keep saying I'm your ancestor, but how come you don't respect them at all?"
[No, no, no, Master Erfeng, you misunderstood. It's out of respect that we're conducting a rescue excavation!]
Li Shimin completely didn't understand modern people's logic and was extremely depressed.
Tianmu was almost laughing his head off and made fun of Erfeng for a long time.
"Alright, stop joking around. Can't you see our boss Er Feng is about to explode?"
Wen Yuping was trying hard to suppress her laughter, but finally she couldn't help herself and said with a trembling voice:
"Master Erfeng, you are wronging us.
As descendants a thousand years from now, when we go to dig, your coffins will have already been stolen five or six times by our predecessors, okay..."
[Historical records show that Huang Chao and Wen Tao of the Five Dynasties were the main people who looted the temple.
The tombs of all the Tang Dynasty emperors, except for the Qianling Mausoleum of Li Zhi and Wu Zetian, were dug up! No emperor escaped!
Li Shimin covered his chest and suddenly had a very bad guess.
[It is hard to say whether the remains of other people are still there, but there is a clear record of Er Feng's remains!
During the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms period, Wen Tao dug into the underground palace of Zhaoling and uncovered your remains. He originally planned to dispose of the body, but because the underground palace was too long and contained traps, he scattered the remains throughout the palace.
Oh my god, wouldn't that mean it's all over the place?
[Think about it, the remains of these people all had night-shining pearls in their mouths. There were many valuable items in the underground palace, so when they were fighting over them, maybe they were just throwing pieces at each other?]
Shen Yue couldn't help but burst out laughing!
But Li Shimin fell down with his hands covering his chest, feeling that he was about to have a heart attack.
Fortunately, Shen Yue was there and immediately gave him a piece of ginseng to suck on, and Li Shimin finally recovered.
Then his face turned grim and he raged like a tyrant:
"Which one is Wen Tao? Which one is he?
Start by checking the Wen family's genealogy. This kid absolutely cannot be kept alive!"
Li Shimin thought about it and did the same as everyone else. He watched Li Longji's coffin enter the underground mausoleum with great sadness.
Everyone was pretending to cry, but he was the only one who was slowly calming down, thinking that this time when he and Guanyinbi rebuilt the tomb, they must set up more mechanisms!
By the way, we now have explosive gunpowder. Although it has not been widely used in weapons, you can buy more and put it under the coffin. If someone comes to rob the tomb, everyone will die together!
If you dare to touch him and his remains again, we will destroy them together!
Lu Shuyuan thought the boss’s idea was a good one and nodded.
"But boss, to be honest, you ancient people shouldn't put any gold, silver or jewelry in the coffin, especially if they have jade cicadas or night-shining pearls in their mouths."
[That's not all. The ancients believed that the body couldn't breathe after death, so all nine orifices would be plugged. Ahem, you know where!]
[I once saw a very long X-stuff object in a museum, with its surface covered with granular matter. It was extremely large!
It makes my butt hurt just looking at it.
Later I learned that it was one of the nine orifice plugs found in the tomb of Marquis Haihun during the Han Dynasty. It turns out that all nine orifices of the Han Dynasty nobles had to be plugged, including the back. I was truly shocked!
But Li Shimin's focus was not here.
No, after death, even the nine orifices are plugged, even if they are plugged there, they will be dug out by you descendants, no, pulled out and displayed for everyone to see?
And then tell everyone, look, that’s the plug of so-and-so?
Modern people are still too scary!
It turns out that we should be more frugal when building the mausoleum this time, otherwise I really don’t know what these descendants will do to their remains?
"But why is it that only Xiaojiu's tomb is fine?"
Li Shimin couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Isn't his youngest son Li Zhi too lucky?
[This is mainly because Li Zhi chose a good location for Qianling Mausoleum. It was built on the mountain and the Liangshan structure was solid.
It is said that Huang Chao dug forty meters without finding anything, and Wen Tao was caught in a storm while digging, so he gave up.
This place is great!
Li Shimin was overjoyed and decided to build his mausoleum next to Li Zhi after his death. In the future, they would be neighbors underground and he could give this guy a good beating to vent his anger!
[But there's no need to be envious, Erfeng. Your son Li Zhi's body has been floating around for two years!]
What is going on here?
This was also the first time Wen Yuping learned about this, but she suddenly laughed after searching.
"That's right, boss. After your son Li Zhi died, Wu Zetian kept his coffin outside to stabilize her regime.
Later, it was dragged all the way from Luoyang to Chang'an, transported by water and land.
It was finally brought back and placed in the Taiji Palace for further refrigeration. It was originally intended for burial, but the Qianling Mausoleum had not yet been completed, and coupled with the political turmoil, it took about two years before the burial took place.
[Wow, corpse tourism is real! This is the price of not being robbed after death!]
I'm so envious. I hope someone will take me on a tour like this after I die. It's so exciting!
Li Shimin: ???
Li Shimin was shocked and then asked:
"How do you modern people plan to deal with your affairs after you die?"
The modern workers present said in unison:
"Burn to ashes!"
Li Shimin's pupils were shocked:?!
[After death, most modern people will be sent to a crematorium with extremely high temperature to be burned into ashes, and then the ashes will be placed in an urn.
People in some countries like to keep the urn at home, while we like to bury the ashes in the cemetery, but some people also like to scatter the ashes into the sea.
[I'm different. After I die, I want to be in pieces!]
Let my family take my ashes and scatter some in every city, and also in the sea and lakes!
[I prefer pure natural ones, just throwing the bones into nature!
Let tigers and leopards chew on me and become a part of their bodies. Then I will be a big cat or a big tiger. I am so happy!
Li Shimin:?
Sure enough, he still couldn't understand the madness of these modern people!
However, through communication with modern people, Li Shimin suddenly discovered that building an imperial tomb seemed not so important.
So when building the tombs for himself and his wife, he strongly advocated frugality, and even advocated that there was no need for any burial objects, and the main thing was to have more organs.
Then you can put some of his favorite calligraphy and paintings, such as those of Wang Xizhi.
After hearing this, all the officials were deeply moved and strongly requested His Majesty to add more burial objects, otherwise it would seem too shabby and not befitting an emperor.
Li Shimin sighed many times and politely declined.
The ministers were so moved that they shed tears and praised His Majesty as the best emperor in the world!
It is indeed His Majesty Taizong. This is what it means to be a great emperor. This is what it means to be a great emperor!
Li Shimin, whose body was stolen and possibly torn into pieces: …
In fact, you really don’t know what I went through today!
Tired.jpg
Li Shimin, who was so frugal even in the construction of imperial mausoleums, was deeply praised and admired by civil and military officials and the people, but he was still not overly proud and continued to be highly vigilant against the aristocratic families.
He would never forget the rivers of blood he saw when Huang Chao stormed into the capital and slaughtered people according to their clan laws.
I also can’t forget the sadness of the Anshi Rebellion, where “the rich have wine and meat, while the poor freeze to death on the streets.”
In the middle of the Tang Dynasty, these aristocratic families were the biggest crisis that prevented the dynasty from surviving for a hundred years.
Even though he suppressed the Wei family and completely wiped out the Fanyang Lu family, the aristocratic families had become more restrained, but the problem still existed.
These aristocratic families lived through the Five Barbarians' Invasion, the Wei and Jin Dynasties, and until the end of the Tang Dynasty.
Over the past thousand years, the aristocratic families, as a special class of powerful people, have become increasingly prosperous and enduring.
Li Shimin had a headache and said with a wry smile:
"Is this what you call a life force like a cockroach?"
[The emperor comes and goes, but the family remains forever.]
During the Five Barbarians' Rebellion, the emperors changed one after another, but the aristocratic families remained standing, with only a few surnames changing at most. However, the aristocratic family system could not be shaken at all.
There are so many powerful families that even if Zhu Yuanzhang came, he would not be able to kill them all, and they would have to slowly disintegrate.
Therefore, after some discussion with modern people, Li Shimin decided to adopt the Enfeoffment Order system from the reign of Emperor Wu of Han.
Why can the eldest son enjoy all the resources?
Since there are so many children in the family, why not everyone sit down and eat fruit and share some land and wealth.
Soon, the Tang Dynasty introduced new inheritance laws. The eldest son still enjoyed hereditary privileges such as status, but other children, regardless of whether they were legitimate or illegitimate, should enjoy the same share of the inheritance.
This should even include illegitimate children.
As soon as this law came out, countless people inside and outside the court opposed it.
Especially those who claim to be upright, they feel that allowing illegitimate children and concubines' sons to inherit the estate is a sign of moral corruption and the loss of ethics.
"Your Majesty, if this is the case, I'm afraid there will be countless illegitimate children whose bloodlines cannot be verified and who will try to get away with it."
When Li Shimin heard about this good thing, he immediately agreed and pushed it forward.
When modern people hear this, they think it’s a great idea. Why didn’t they think of it?
So as we were traveling, suddenly everyone started calling me dad.
"Aye, Aye, look at me, I am your long-lost son!
Even though I'm an illegitimate child, I don't eat much and I don't poop much either. Just give me a box of gold and we can discuss anything!"
"Wow, wow, Ah Ye Ye, don't you remember me? I'm Ziwei by the Daming Lake!
Silang, don't you remember the apricot blossoms and the light rain that year?"
A bunch of older kids suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and the noble families were like:???
Where did this crazy person from overseas come from? Get away!
The various noble families were troubled by the uneven distribution, and there was chaos at home.
I know clearly that this is your Majesty's conspiracy, but who can blame your Majesty for being so good at fighting?
Rebellion has no future, so there is no other way.
Each family has to deal with overseas people who randomly claim to be their relatives, while also dealing with their own noisy children.
They couldn't vent their anger on His Majesty, so they could only vent their anger on overseas people, especially those overseas officials.
Since Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty, there was no restriction on whether the officials were Hu people or native Tang people. At that time, there were also many Hu generals in the court.
But allowing "overseas people" to sit in core positions such as the Minister of the Ministry of Revenue and the Minister of the Ministry of Finance in the Tang Dynasty is a bit too much.
As a result, many people wrote letters to criticize these overseas people on the grounds that they might steal the secrets of the Tang Dynasty and use them for their own purposes, and then turn against the Tang Dynasty.
For a time, this statement aroused public approval, and the wave of public opinion directly hit the emperor and all modern workers.
[The key is to think about it in modern times. What if our finance minister is not a pure Chinese, but an "overseas person" who comes from nowhere and looks like a Chinese?
It is indeed easy to cause a crisis of trust.
Fortunately, Li Shimin quickly worked with modern people and fabricated a reasonable identity for the workers.
"This is actually a misunderstanding. These overseas people are different from the Hu people. They are actually people from the Han Dynasty.
I am a descendant of the Han Dynasty, but later I was exiled overseas during the Five Barbarians’ Invasion of China, like entering the Peach Blossom Spring, and did not return until the Tang Dynasty.
"That's right, we still call ourselves Han Chinese overseas. And you see, we look exactly like you, and we share the same language, culture, and customs!"
"Nonsense, what the hell are the same customs? You guys are so crazy!"
"And they're even weaker and more vulnerable!"
"And he can't write poetry, he can't do literature, and he can't do martial arts!"
After finally getting the chance to fight back, the Tang Dynasty officials mercilessly criticized these modern workers, which shows that these colleagues have been holding grudges for a long time.
[…No, exposing our shortcomings in public is unethical!]
[This is the end of being a scab working a 996 schedule, hahaha! ]
“It is precisely because we are not good at fighting that we fled overseas.
Being overseas is like being exiled, so I'm uneducated, unlearnt in writing, martial arts, and lack any cultural knowledge...
You have your own moral code in the Central Plains, unlike us, who have been begging overseas and have lived a hard life, and can only farm and learn skills to barely survive..."
"That's right. We managed to survive, but were attacked by another country and were almost wiped out.
We worked so hard to return to the Tang Dynasty, and you, fellow Han Chinese, treat your fellow countrymen like this?"
The overseas worker picked up the onion eye drops and whimpered, acting like he had just come back from begging.
Li Shimin almost laughed out loud when he saw this, and quickly pinched his thigh, pretending to be sad and moved and said:
"We are all Han Chinese, and we are all one family in China. From now on, don't call us overseas people anymore. Just call us people from the Central Plains of the Tang Dynasty."
Now my identity as a worker is no longer a problem and everyone accepts it.
Li Shimin immediately announced that it was feasible for this group of Central Plains Tang people to hold official positions in the Tang Dynasty.
Hu people can serve as officials and military generals, but important and confidential positions in the court such as prime minister, secretary, and vice minister are not allowed to be held by Hu people except those from the Central Plains Tang Dynasty or the Tang Dynasty.
In particular, the core positions of the Ministry of Revenue involve the finances, money, and currency issuance of the Tang Dynasty, which are of vital importance both internally and externally.
Therefore, Li Shimin demanded that as long as the Tang Dynasty existed, these positions could not be given to the Hu people.
[Yeah, next time the Americans will have to rack their brains to figure out how we screwed them!]
[Although it is not very moral, this information gap must be controlled by us Chinese!
We Chinese people have suffered for thousands of years, and it’s time for us to just sit back and make money and enjoy the benefits!
"But since the people of the Middle-earth Tang Dynasty are no different from our Tang Dynasty people, will there be people pretending to be Tang Dynasty people overseas?"
Li Bai quickly raised the question, and then both the modern worker and Li Shimin fell silent.
Since modern people often come to Datang for tourism, abide by the law, and spend money generously, they have a good reputation. The people of Datang like them very much and are very enthusiastic towards them.
Recruiters from all over the country also particularly prefer to recruit overseas people. Scarcity makes things valuable, and the treatment will be better.
A worker raised his hand and said weakly:
"I don't think so. After all, we are so... well, lively!"
[That's right, we're so crazy, who can possibly learn it? ]
[It's impossible to pretend. The mental state of modern people is so different from that of the people of the Tang Dynasty!]
The people of the Tang Dynasty nodded frantically in agreement, and Li Shimin also thought it made sense.
But no one expected that Li Bai's words would come true, and modern workers actually met an ancient person from the Tang Dynasty pretending to be a modern person!
One day, Li Shimin and this group of modern people were secretly eating, drinking and having fun, when they suddenly saw a group of princes and common people watching in front of the Tiance Library on the street.
It turned out to be a man who claimed to be from overseas. He was running around naked, beating drums, and claiming that he "used the sky as clothes and the earth as a mat."
He also carried a shovel with him and said he would bury him wherever he died.
At first, Li Shimin didn't even suspect that this man was not from overseas. After all, this man was indeed crazy enough.
But modern workers feel something is wrong——
Although modern people are crazy, they still have dignity!
[Crazy as it may be, we really can't do such socially deadly behavior! ]
So is this guy a modern person or a Tang Dynasty person? What does he want to do?
[Never mind, let's go up and verify it? ]
So a group of overseas workers tacitly crowded in front of him and asked this man who claimed to be a fellow countryman:
"What is the sum of Imperial Jade Wine, a small hammer, and three large hammers?"
"How are you? How old are you?"
"The king of heaven covers the tiger of earth, and the symbol depends on the quadrant?"
Needless to say, the man playing the drum couldn't answer any of them.
Modern workers were very disappointed and immediately said to the bad guys who were in charge of Chang'an City's security:
"This person is from your Tang Dynasty, a fake, doing performance art, and has nothing to do with us overseas people!
Don't accuse us of all the crazy things! We are obviously not that crazy! "
People of the Tang Dynasty: ………
However, the crazy Tang man was shocked.
He prepared a bunch of excuses, such as he couldn't remember how long he had been away from home, or that he was in a small place, but he was found out before he could use any of them?
When he was arrested, he asked unwillingly:
"Wait, how did you find out? How could you possibly find me? I'm so crazy!"
Modern workers: ………
What do you think?
You are the only one among our group of kiwis. Isn’t it obvious, brother?
Soon, after interrogation, this Tang Dynasty art performer said that it was because overseas people were treated better than Tang Dynasty people, and this would make his reputation spread throughout Chang'an.
In particular, letting the powerful know his name will be beneficial for him to take the imperial examination and become an official in the future.
[Wow, there are actually ancient people pretending to be modern people?
Isn't this just one of those modern marketing influencers who scam traffic? It turns out they existed in the Tang Dynasty.
[I have to say, as expected of the Chinese, we have always been quite abstract from ancient times to the present...]
So Wen Yuping and others told the people of the Tang Dynasty that they had many secret codes, including "Palace Jade Liquor" and so on, and then wrote them down.
Next time you encounter it, just use the secret code and you won’t have to worry about not being able to recognize it.
"That way, no one will take advantage of us by impersonating our overseas identities!"
Li Shimin also nodded, but he felt that it was relatively easy to identify this group of people:
Modern people's eyes are often very clear, with a simple, husky-like feeling...
This kind of look came from peacetime, and ordinary Tang people had never even seen a dead person. It was impossible for them to fake it.
Erfeng, if you want to call us stupid, just say so!
[We are just simple-minded and innocent, and don’t like to play tricks!
But then again, we time travelers pretend to be ancient people, and the ancients are starting to pretend to be time travelers? Isn't this a form of transcendence?
[Speaking of time travel, Er Feng traveled through time, and we modern people also traveled through time, so what about the Queen?
Why did she travel through time? Is there a recruitment system as well?]
Li Shimin was also very curious about this question, so after a busy day, he returned to his bedroom and asked his wife.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
