Chapter 24 Lin Xiaolu's Memories
That night, the gray-black sky seemed to be painted with ink, the moon was hazy, and the stars were dim.
Lin Xiaolu lay on her side by the window, curled up, and looked quietly at the boundless night sky.
Moko had fallen asleep at the head of the bed without knowing when, with the crystal wings draped over his shoulders, the pink fur trembling slightly, without a sound.
From time to time, there was a slight sound of cloth rubbing against each other on the ground next to the bed, and it was obvious that someone was tossing and turning there and couldn't sleep.
"Xiaolu, are you asleep?"
Suddenly, Xia Liang's voice rang out in the dark room.
She didn't get a response. Lin Xiaolu said nothing and turned a deaf ear to it.
"I say, this dress is a bit too tight, it feels restrictive when I sleep."
But Xia Liang never cared about these things, so when no one answered, he just kept talking: "So can I sleep naked?"
"……no."
These words disturbed the quiet night mood no longer, and Lin Xiaolu drooped her eyelids and rejected Xia Liang's proposal.
She refused at first, but then she came to her senses and realized what Xia Liang meant by "clothes are tight". She felt even more unhappy: "Wear my clothes, sleep in my room, why do you have so many demands? Believe it or not, I'll let you sleep on the sofa in the living room?"
"Sleeping naked?" Xia Liang blinked, her cheeks flushed.
"Of course I'm wearing clothes!" Lin Xiaolu gritted her teeth.
"I'm just kidding. Besides, it wouldn't be nice if your family saw it."
"You still know that this is my home?"
Halfway through the joke, the two were speechless for a moment.
After a while, Xia Liang held the quilt in his arms, tightened his arms, and closed his eyes:
"I say, Xiaolu."
"What's wrong again?" Having already spoken, there was no way she could remain silent. Lin Xiaolu could only ask Xia Liang in annoyance.
"You and your father have a bad relationship?"
Xia Liang’s question froze Lin Xiaolu’s expression on her face.
With her back to Xia Liang, Lin Xiaolu moved her face closer to the pillow, lowering her voice: "Can you tell?"
"Yeah, I feel it."
"That's it, but it has nothing to do with you, right?"
When it comes to this topic, Lin Xiaolu's voice becomes a little hoarse: "Or do you want to lecture me too?"
“No.”
Xia Liang said softly in the night: "I'm just a little curious."
"What are you curious about?"
"Your father should care about you. He is actually very good to you."
"…How can you tell? Just based on a few words you said?"
“It’s not the words, it’s the attitude and the expression.”
At this point, Xia Liang's tone became more serious: "Whether parents really care about their children can be seen from details like this."
After these words were spoken, there was another long silence.
Lin Xiaolu said nothing, as if she was lost in some thought, and Xia Liang said no more at this time.
After a long while, as if she had made a decision, Lin Xiaolu spoke up: "He looks like this now?"
Xia Liang was a little confused when he heard this: "Now? Wasn't it before?"
"Of course not."
In the darkness, Lin Xiaolu's expression was unclear, but her voice seemed to be squeezed out from her throat, with an indescribable resentment: "If you haven't seen it, you can't understand it. He is really unreasonable. That cold-blooded face makes people feel chilled."
"It's been like this since I was a kid, working, working, working overtime or socializing. When I'm at home, I always have a stern face, as if I'm unhappy about everything and don't care about anything. It's the same with me, he just keeps signing me up for cram schools, buying exercise books for me, and telling me to study hard."
"My mother always told me to be considerate and forgive him. Even if she prepared a table of food for the holidays, she would never complain if he called and said he would not come back for dinner."
"And then one day, she died."
"He was fine the day before, but the next day he suddenly told me that my mother had died and that from now on it was just him and me. He didn't tell me the reason or the result. I asked him to take me to see my mother for the last time. Guess what his answer was?"
As if he hadn't expected Lin Xiaolu to ask him a question at this time, Xia Liang reacted slightly: "Well...didn't your father agree?"
"Humph, he said 'forget her'."
Lin Xiaolu sneered, but there was no smile on her face: "They just packed up her things, invited a few people, and held a funeral, as if everything was over.
"Then, he disappeared in the middle of the memorial service and hugged a young woman who appeared from nowhere."
"Is he really working outside? Does he really care about his mother? I don't know, but I'm very worried and scared. When I asked him the reason, he avoided the question. Even when I cried in front of him, he still didn't react at all. He just said something like he was very sad too."
"In the end, I had an argument with him. I can't even remember what we said at the time. I just remember that I told him all my anger and confusion, and then he slapped me."
"What did you say? 'Who do you think I'm doing this for?' I think it was something like this?"
"For whom? It's not for me, and it's not for mom, right? Otherwise, why would he be hugging another woman at home just a few days later?"
"They seemed so loving on a daily basis, but they immediately changed their attitude after the other person passed away. Is this what mom once said about understanding him?"
“Then I ran away from home.”
This sentence made Xia Liang's eyes widen slightly.
As if she suddenly realized something, she looked in the direction of Lin Xiaolu, but in the dark room, Lin Xiaolu still had her back to her.
"So I won't ask you why you want to run away from home. I know the only circumstances under which a person would want to run away from home."
Her voice was muffled, that unknown anger having receded at some point, but she didn't know whether it had disappeared or was lurking deeper.
"I stayed at my classmate's house for many days. During that time, I didn't go to school. I just stayed there quietly by myself."
She continued to talk about her past experience: "I don't know which day it was, but it seemed like a classmate's parents contacted the school, and the school told him where I was, and then he came to my house."
"That was probably the first time I saw him so disheveled. His eyes were dark as hell, he hadn't shaved his beard or cut his hair, and he wasn't wearing the formal suit he wore all year. He just wore a shabby jacket."
"He said 'Let's go home', and I thought to myself, we've come to this point, why should I go back with you?"
"But seeing him like that, I don't know why I softened my heart. Sympathy? Or grievance? When I came to my senses, I had already held his hand as if possessed by a ghost."
"It's been like this ever since. I don't really pay attention to him, and he seems to be making up for it by becoming a 'good father', but that's it."
When she said this, she seemed to have finally finished what she wanted to say and had let go of some emotions, so she let out a long sigh and spoke slower.
"No, it ends here."
Lin Xiaolu closed her eyes: "Does this boring story satisfy you?"
Xia Liang did not answer immediately. She loosened her hands holding the quilt at some point, and seemed to remember something, and was a little dazed.
After a while, she lowered her eyelids and replied softly, "Yeah."
"That's good."
Lin Xiaolu pulled the quilt up a bit, half covering her face: "I'm going to sleep."
The room was silent for a long time. Even breathing sounds could be heard from Lin Xiaolu's bed. Only Xia Liang was left lying awake on the mattress on the floor.
She no longer worried about the tight clothes on her body, nor did she care that the bed beneath her was a poorly padded floor mat that she and Lin Xiaolu had used together.
She seemed to say something, but only she could hear it.
Finally, in the dim midnight, Xia Liang slowly fell into a deep sleep.
Thanks to 123ddj, Fen Shen Dao Meiken, book friend 33021205981253, Xueyu Xiaose, Daidai Frost Moon, sodic, book friend 20220912135811308, Roaring Phoenix, book friend 20221220193727270, Meng Yu Lailai, Ao, Screen Peeping Monster QMQ, Wu Xia, book friend 20181009082714619 for their rewards, and thank you all for your voting support.
(End of this chapter)
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