Chapter 65 Night Talk (Part 2)
"Other ideas..."
Although she was still hesitant emotionally, Lin Xiaolu subconsciously followed Cuiqiao's steps.
She began to analyze herself and wondered if there were other reasons for her depression these days. As she walked a distance away, an answer came to her mind: "Actually, when I first learned about these things, I felt a little sorry for my father."
The delphinium nearby suddenly tripped and almost fell to the ground.
Lin Xiaolu quickly reached out to support her: "What's wrong?"
"There seems to be a hole on the ground." After standing up again, Delphinium had a stern face and pretended to be calm to indicate that he was fine. Relying on the poor vision at night, he made up an excuse.
"Really?" Lin Xiaolu looked back in confusion, only to see that the road was smooth under the moonlight, without any of the "pits" that Cuiqiao had mentioned.
But she didn't think much about it, nor did she try to investigate further. She just thought that she couldn't see clearly, turned around and continued to follow Delphinium.
"Did anything happen between you and your father before?" Delphinium asked in order to change the subject while walking on the somewhat quiet sidewalk.
The idea of asking this question has been in her mind for a long time. In fact, she really wants to know what the cold war between her and her father is like from a daughter's perspective.
Lin Yun has always felt that the conflict between her and her daughter was mainly due to lack of care and communication, so she has been trying to make up for this after Lin Xiaolu ran away from home. However, when she began to interact with her daughter as Kuei-chih and gradually understood some of her daughter's true thoughts, she found that the truth seemed not to be so.
"Rather than saying something happened, it should be said that it was a one-sided misunderstanding."
Lin Xiaolu followed Cuique closely, "When my mother died, he concealed the whereabouts of her body and was with other young women. This made me think that he didn't love my mother anymore and wanted to take this opportunity to abandon her and me and find another woman."
"After that, I had a quarrel with him and ran away from home. Many things became awkward, but I always felt that it was his fault, so I never thought about forgiving or understanding him."
"Ha, now that I think about it, it may also be due to my own arbitrary judgment."
"Because when I was a kid, he was very strict with me, so strict that it was a bit annoying. So when I felt he was wrong, even if I asked him the reason, I actually didn't want to hear the answer. I had already judged in my mind that he was wrong."
The two walked along the way, slowly passing the Sunset Bridge over the Xiting River. It was almost midsummer, and in the hot night, there was still only a slight breeze on the water.
There was not much traffic on the bridge at midnight. Cuiqiao and Lin Xiaolu walked along the sidewalk one after the other, and the crisp footsteps echoed on the bridge.
"...What about now?" In response to Lin Xiaolu's "self-reflection", Cuiqiao did not directly express her opinion, but just continued to ask.
If she was just "Delphinium", she could judge whether Lin Xiaolu was right or wrong from the perspective of a bystander; but as a party involved in this parent-child cold war, she actually knew that under such a complicated situation at the time, it was impossible to say who was right or wrong between her and Lin Xiaolu.
The original intention of her and her daughter was to maintain the existence of this family, but because of the different information they knew: the daughter did not know that her mother was a magical girl; the different identities and feelings: as a father, she could not understand her daughter's doubts and helplessness at that time. In the end, it turned into such a huge disagreement.
As a parent, I should have been more proactive in communicating with my children, but I didn't realize it at the time.
On the other side, Lin Xiaolu continued: "Because he showed me the photo of you and mom before, now I know that he didn't want me to know the truth about mom's death at that time."
"After all, he told me that mom was actually a very strong magical girl, but she died in an unclear manner. Facing an enemy who could kill mom, even if I knew the truth and even developed hatred for her, I'm afraid I don't know what I can do."
"But, because I didn't know why my mother died, I always thought it was a simple accident, and I put all my hatred and hostility on him."
"He probably meant well, but I responded to him like that..."
——"If you can tell your father your thoughts, he will probably be very happy, right?"
Delphinium suddenly spoke up: "It would actually be more effective if you tell him directly rather than telling me here."
"Isn't it a little late to say this now?" Lin Xiaolu looked worried.
"It won't be too late."
Delphinium shook her head, turned her head, and looked at the river under the bridge expressionlessly, making it hard to tell what she was thinking: "No one can guarantee that they won't make mistakes when it comes to family relationships."
"This is your first time as a daughter, and your father's first time as a father. You are both newbies in your positions, and it is inevitable that you will make all kinds of mistakes. If this mistake can still be forgiven, why not give each other another chance?"
"Besides, your father may have already stopped blaming you for this matter."
There was some kind of inexplicable emotion in her words about this matter, as if she had some experience of her own. Although it was very vague, even the slow-witted Lin Xiaolu could feel it a little.
So she looked at Delphinium blankly and asked subconsciously: "Delphinium, do you... have a child?"
Delphinium stopped and glanced at her.
"you guess."
After saying these two words, he continued to move forward.
Lin Xiaolu hurriedly trotted after him.
For some reason, Cuiqiao did not ask any more questions, and Lin Xiaolu just followed her all the way. The two of them walked to the middle of the bridge and came to the center of the Xiting River.
Lin Xiaolu lowered her eyes and glanced to the side, her expression somewhat complicated.
Because she felt that since she had decided to speak out her inner doubts, there were some issues that she should not avoid.
But this matter is different from what was said before. As a magical girl, her next words may really disappoint Delphinium.
It has nothing to do with her identity as a mother, nor the conflict with her father, but rather it is about disappointment in Lin Xiaolu herself.
Although she kept asking Delphinium if she was disappointed in her, in fact, she didn't want Delphinium to hate her at all.
If possible, she also hopes that she can be like Xia Liang, always be well-behaved and likable in front of others; always be able to liven up the atmosphere and make others happy; and always be so outstanding that Cuique can also be satisfied with her.
But now, let alone these, she seems to have lost even the most basic qualities of a magical girl.
Because these days, she gradually felt that she seemed to have lost the courage to fight.
Should I really say something like this? If I just don't mention it, if I just pretend that nothing happened, at least I can still be like this...
Thinking of this, Lin Xiaolu's thoughts came to a halt.
Because she suddenly saw Delphinium turned around and looked at her with its clear blue eyes.
Under the moonlight, those eyes were like the purest sapphires, with a few touches of silver light, and seemed to be able to speak, looking at him with encouragement.
Lin Xiaolu pursed her lips, then mustered up the courage to open her mouth.
(End of this chapter)
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