walk
This name was not given by Su Bai, but by the puppy's original owner. He hadn't decided what name to give the puppy, so he just called it Xiaobai. He didn't expect that he would be digging his own grave.
"I think this name is very nice, simple, straightforward and catchy. Don't you agree, Xiaobai?"
Su Bai compromised and said, "As long as you like it."
Shen Yanshu asked, "If I call my family Xiaobai in the future, will anyone come back?"
Anna watched Shen Yanshu teasing Su Bai and found it very interesting. It was exciting to think that Su Bai, an ice cube, would blush one day after being teased.
Su Bai looked up when he heard this, his eyes burning as he asked, "Home?"
Shen Yanshu realized what he had said and his face felt hot. There is no good in speaking too quickly. There is no good in that.
"I was just talking nonsense, you heard it wrong."
Su Bai: "You just said it yourself."
Shen Yanshu: "I'm talking about Xiaobai, not you. Are you Xiaobai?"
The frisbee was thrown back, and Su Bai was helpless and discouraged. His hair was very soft and drooped down like a wronged puppy.
Anna said, "It's really troublesome for you two to have a relationship."
Shen Yanshu said: "No discussion."
Su Bai said: "No."
Two voices appeared together and retorted.
Anna shrugged. "Whatever you want."
"But, Su, I thought you were the type who would push someone against the wall and kiss them until you were together. I didn't expect you to be so shy when you really like someone. It's completely different from your style." Anna turned to Shen Yanshu and said, "I thought you were the aggressive type, but I didn't expect you to accommodate him."
"It's really unlike your true personalities for you two to be in a relationship."
Su Bai said, "Anna, not everyone maintains the same style in all aspects. You see, people also make mistakes sometimes."
Anna spread her hands indifferently and said, "Although you two are trying your best to restrain yourself, this is definitely what you're thinking in your heart. Su, if she gets a little angry with you, you will definitely do what I say."
She looked at Shen Yanshu and suggested, "Why don't you try it?"
Shen Yanshu turned his head and shouted in his heart, this must be fortune telling.
Seeing Shen Yanshu's evasiveness, Anna laughed: "Sorry, I think I wasted my time."
"But when you two get tough, you're quite a good match," Anna said. "In Chinese, you'd call it 'husband and wife look'."
Shen Yanshu really refreshed her understanding of Anna. She really wondered if Anna could read minds or something like that.
It felt like she was completely transparent in front of Anna. It must be very scary to do business with such a person.
Su Bai was calm: "Thank you for saying that, but we have our own plans. Please don't lead her astray."
Anna rolled her eyes at Su Bai's pretense. "I think facing yourself is the first step to understanding yourself. Even though you're pretending well, a person's true nature won't change. Maybe you're inexperienced and weak in relationships, but you've subconsciously assigned yourself to her. The puppy's necklace is the best proof of that."
Her eyes were gentle and calm, yet they seemed to see through people. "But you're still wondering how long she'll like you, and whether it's worth breaking the fortress you've built up over the years. You're even wondering what you'll do if she doesn't like you anymore. It's really hard to break the rules you set for yourself, but you always enjoy breaking through them."
"There are cracks in your fortress."
Anna's analysis left Shen Yanshu stunned, wanting only to know how she had managed it. Su Bai, however, took it to heart. Anna was right. He was still weighing the pros and cons. Twenty years of fear couldn't be dispelled by a simple "like." He was still afraid, afraid that Shen Yanshu wouldn't be able to accept the real him, and also afraid that their fleeting love could ever last.
He was both timid and eager to get it. He looked at Shen Yanshu, keeping a smile on his face, but feeling a little bitter in his heart.
He didn't want to push Shen Yanshu away, but he also wanted to see if she would come back to him after he pushed her away. Feelings were the most vulnerable to temptation. He could blindly buy stocks at the highest price, which would only mean losing some money, but he couldn't be with Shen Yanshu when she was most interested in him. After the passion wore off, what would be left?
Although he distanced himself from his father, he was still influenced by him. Relationships were business, and relationships were an absolute sunk cost. This idea had taken root in his heart for over twenty years and could not be completely eradicated in a short time. But he also hoped that Shen Yanshu could give him some profit, just a little. For someone like him who chased profit and grew up watching numbers every day, as long as there was a slight possibility of profit, he would move forward courageously.
Shen Yanshu might have noticed his thoughts. How could she, such a smart person, not know what Anna was talking about? But she looked at him with such a firm gaze, as if telling him.
"I said I'd wait for you, so I will. Don't think too much. Just take your time."
The pink sunset spread across the sky. As the sky gradually darkened, the sound of waves could be heard. More and more people were walking outside. A big golden retriever was lying outside the window, greeting Xiaobai in Shen Yanshu's arms. Xiaobai was frightened and shrank into Shen Yanshu's arms.
She touched Xiaobai's body and said, "Don't be afraid, it won't come in."
Only then did things gradually calm down.
They had dinner directly at the coffee shop and it was seven o'clock when they finished.
Shen Yanshu said, "I'll take Anna back to the hotel. Do you want to go home by yourself?"
Su Bai said, "I'll go with you."
Shen Yanshu smiled and said, "Then let's go together."
The car was heading toward the coastal highway. The port in the distance was ablaze with lights, and I could clearly see the cranes and the containers piled high. At night, the body secretes more melatonin, which calms the mind.
Anna pondered for a long time and asked Shen Yanshu: "Do you think what I said in the restaurant hurt Su?"
It took Shen Yanshu a long time to understand what Anna was saying. People who are good at capturing emotions are always more sensitive to emotional changes.
"Are you worried that he'll be angry?"
Anna nodded and said, "I'm not afraid of him, but I don't want to see him get angry."
Shen Yanshu recalled that day in the club. Su Bai looked like a large dog with its fur standing on end, which was very cute.
She said, "He's just thinking about what you said. You might have touched his heart."
Anna asked: "Do you think I'm right?"
Shen Yanshu said: "I agree with part of what you said."
"Which part?"
"You said his fortress has cracks," Shen Yanshu said, "but I don't agree with you that he's weak in love. He's not weak. A child who has lived in an unhappy family for a long time and received little parental care in childhood will have various psychological problems in adulthood. These problems grow in their blood and become a part of them. However, different people will develop different types. Some people will be madly obsessed with love, trying to fill the emotional gap with love; some people, on the contrary, will only avoid love to protect themselves. Su Bai is just one of them. He hopes that someone will firmly choose him, but he also worries about whether he is worthy and whether he will be abandoned again. But I don't think this is weakness, but expectation. Expecting something that hurts you deeply is courage."
Anna listened to Shen Yanshu's analysis and smiled knowingly: "No wonder Su was shaken for you, you are indeed worth it."
Shen Yanshu said: "I just want to understand the person I like."
Who knew she, a math and philosophy major, would one day find herself reading online psychology courses and papers? But this process isn't boring, but rather enriching, allowing her to gradually understand the richness of a person's heart.
Shen Yanshu changed the subject and said, "However, I really want to learn how you see through a person. It's amazing. In my opinion, only fortune tellers can do this."
Anna smiled and said, "You'll learn it naturally if you watch more people. Besides, our job is to face different people, analyze them, and understand them. If you want to learn, just work for a few more days and you'll slowly learn it."
When Shen Yanshu heard about going to work, he felt a headache. No one is born to like going to work.
"How could anyone like going to work?" Shen Yanshu muttered to himself.
Anna said: "Su Bai."
Su Bai, who was driving next door, suddenly sneezed.
After sending Anna back to the hotel, Shen Yanshu walked out of the lobby and saw Su Bai standing at the door.
The door of the hotel was open. He was standing at the bottom of the stairs, his back against an all-black BMW 8 Series. His muscles were covered in simple casual clothes, and in his arms was a large bunch of yellow flowers that he had bought at some point. It was already dark outside, and the light was faintly cast on him, outlining his slender figure. Looking out along the light, the center of vision fell on him, and he was leaning over to look inside.
The closer Shen Yanshu got, the clearer Su Bai's face became and the faster his heartbeat became. The night wind blew his hair in front of his forehead. He looked at her without wavering, as if the whole world was watching them staring at each other.
She couldn't help but quicken her pace and walked in front of him.
Su Bai handed the flowers to her with both hands and said, "These are flowers for you."
The lemon yellow multi-headed roses matched her dress today very well.
She took it and asked, "When did you buy it?"
"If I tell you, can you promise me one thing?"
"You're so stingy." Shen Yanshu said, "But I'm very generous. Tell me what you think."
Su Bai slowly clenched his hands, and his breathing became much lighter: "I bought the flowers before going to the beach. I decided what to buy when I saw the photos you sent me."
"...I want to go for a walk with you, is that okay?"
He was a little nervous and his speech was a little unsteady.
Shen Yanshu's heart was beating like thunder. She looked into his eyes and said, "Of course, you don't have to buy flowers. But we have to go home first. We can't park here."
Su Bai nodded immediately, "Take my car?"
"Of course I'm going to drive home, idiot, and then go for a walk."
"There's a swing in our neighborhood. Let me take you to swing on it."
Su Bai said "oh" and didn't think too much about it.
I only realized my palms were sweaty when I was driving.
There is a large leisure area in Shen Yanshu's residential complex, with separate areas for children and adults, and the swings are in the adult area. She was a little anxious and wanted to take Su Bai there quickly, but Su Bai was very slow.
Shen Yanshu slowed down his pace and said, "Why are you walking so slowly?"
"Because I want to take a walk with you." Maltese snuggled up in Su Bai's arms and fell asleep. He reached out and adjusted the dog's skirt, saying, "Let's just take a walk after dinner. We don't have to chat."
"We'll definitely go to the swings, but I'll lose time walking with you."
"Okay, I was too anxious. I just wanted to take you to see the swings." Shen Yanshu said apologetically.
He lowered his eyes and smiled slightly, his heart softening. He didn't look at Shen Yanshu, but looked forward, where there was a little kid skateboarding.
He suddenly remembered the only time he went for a walk in the park with his mother. There was also a skateboarder in front of them, but that person was older. Since then, he no longer had this kind of leisure time. In his father's teachings, time is money, time is the number that changes every minute and every second in the stock market. This kind of leisure time is not allowed.
But for Shen Yanshu, he wanted to take a walk with her, to walk quietly or chat for a while.
He replied, "You just wanted to share your favorite things with me. I also wanted to see the swing you like. I was a little greedy."
I want to take a walk with you and see your swing.
"Su Bai."
"Um?"
"Why do you want to take a walk with me?"
Su Bai was stunned for a moment and said, "The Internet says that taking a walk is a good way to chat and get to know each other. I would be happy if I could spend time like this with you after dinner."
"Well, if you ever want to go for a walk with me again, just tell me."
"Any time?"
"Yes, anytime." Shen Yanshu said, "As long as you want, I will appear."
After saying that, Shen Yanshu pointed forward and said, "Look, my swing is here, and there's no one there."
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