Request for counseling
Xu Youling never stopped fantasizing about a warm and peaceful home. Whether in the real world or on this side of the world he had entered through the book, amidst the wavering fate, he could never stop himself from thinking about how to settle down.
Like a shell lying on the sand, or a bunch of soft water plants, even if the river flows through it, it will cling to the nearby sand and grow in a winding way.
However, Xu Youling was still unable to confirm whether this piece of sand really existed, let alone what this piece of sand was.
So he could only cling to everything available, whether it was his guiding ability which was so weak as to be almost non-existent at the beginning, or the small shop he opened by accident, or all the other friends who treated him sincerely... Because he could not distinguish which one could make the existence of an outsider like him possible, he tried his best to win all the affirmation and tolerance from them.
Xu Youling never thought that Pei Zhi would be that anchor point.
Even at this moment, he didn't think Pei Zhi should be the anchor. Xu Youling was an anomaly thrown into the world, with no extra ties to take away or keep, leaving behind only irresponsible sadness and guilt.
But sometimes when he was combing the hair of kittens and puppies at the operating table, he would look up and see Pei Zhi, who claimed to be taking a long vacation in response to Bai Ta's request, standing not far away.
With a calm and sharp face, he asked the customer about his needs for a bunch of furry things, frowned and quickly wrote down the other party's contact information on the pad that Xu Youling handed to him with his hands clasped together in a pleading manner, or raised his head to look at Xu Youling, and if he happened to meet his eyes, he would continue to stare at him without dodging until Xu Youling looked away first.
It makes your heart beat faster.
Xu Youling often felt that something was wrong, because Pei Zhi should not be the kind of person who would cruelly slaughter Fang Suiming, who was condensed by spiritual power, in his own spiritual realm. If he wanted to take revenge, he should have gone ahead without hesitation instead of suppressing it in his mind.
He should not regard Fang Suiming as someone who needs to be punished more than Yue Changji just because of Xu Youling's conflict with them, because this completely contradicts Xu Youling's long-standing understanding of Pei Zhi from the original book and their actual interactions.
But even Xu Youling himself had to honestly admit that if Pei Zhi encountered a similar thing, he would probably do the same thing with gritted teeth.
Or it would be better to say that he had already done it, in countless moments when he wanted to save Pei Zhi and wanted him to spend the rest of his life happily and peacefully. It was precisely because he had done that that Pei Zhi reciprocated his kindness with similar behavior.
So from the moment Xu Youling decided to take Pei Zhi away from his original path, regardless of success or failure, regardless of what the original motivation was, the fate of the two has been entangled with each other to this point.
Fortunately, Xu Youling gradually began to feel that accepting this fact was not a difficult thing.
Pei Zhi's vacation is still quite a long way from ending.
Even the White Pagoda's deadline for matching signatures seemed far off, though Xu Youling felt a little embarrassed when he thought about it. Pei Zhi didn't mention it, so he couldn't show that he was secretly calculating the date, after all, that would seem a bit embarrassing.
But Xu Youling felt a little happy when he thought that it would take a long time before Pei Zhi would have to return to the border to continue serving.
This kind of happiness is quite light, like poplar catkins floating in the air.
It fell on Pei Zhi's hand that was around his waist, and on Pei Zhi's lips that suddenly pulled him closer and whispered something.
It fell on Pei Zhi's eyes that were staring at him closely.
These small bits of joy almost made Xu Youling forget all other sufferings, forget the storm in Pei Zhi's spiritual realm, and even forget his own situation.
I just hope this moment continues to stretch and flow forward.
-
Xu Youling tentatively suggested that he could help Pei Zhi with his counseling.
Ever since that time, Pei Zhi didn't allow him to look at his spiritual realm anymore. If he sensed that he had released spiritual tentacles, he would glare at him warningly until Xu Youling obediently stopped moving.
Therefore, when Xu Youling made this request, he thought very seriously about the circumstances in which Pei Zhi would be less likely to refuse.
First of all, it cannot happen when any one of Lu Heng, Song Qi or Duan Xingzhi is present, as Pei Zhi will definitely be unhappy.
Secondly, it cannot be done when there are guests present. This... Pei Zhi doesn't have to be unhappy, Xu Youling himself will also find it very strange.
Finally, it shouldn't be when you're alone but busy at work. It would be awkward to casually ask "Do you want to be groomed?" while washing the dog.
So after thinking about it, every time Xu Youling was almost in a dilemma, Pei Zhi was already sitting on the bed, patting the quilt and waiting for him to come in.
"What are you doing?" Pei Zhi found him adorable because he was in a daze, but his tone was deliberately fierce. "Wait for me to treat you?"
"Then there's no need for that." Xu Youling declined politely.
He trotted a few steps to the bed quite obediently, and was supported by Pei Zhi with a very purposeful gesture. He smiled at him embarrassedly, as shy as what they were going to do next - to sleep together in a pure embrace.
"Go to sleep quickly." Pei Zhi pushed him into the quilt without any politeness, then raised his hand to turn off the light.
Xu Youling kept his eyes open in the night, not feeling very sleepy.
For some reason, Pei Zhi seemed to be very concerned about his little business. Although he still frowned when he saw the sentry guest coming in, he pushed Duan Xingzhi to receive him, and then circled around Xu Youling with the German Shepherd.
But he worked tirelessly to learn, demonstrating the abilities of a true sentry applying for a shop assistant position—at least much better than Duan Xingzhi, who constantly had a sour face and tried to cause trouble for everyone, including Lu Heng. But besides learning the skills, he also added some other work to his resume.
For example, he required Xu Youling to wear gloves while working, and when he encountered a large aggressive spirit, he asked Xu Youling to go to the counter to rest in a very fierce tone, and even began to rudely interfere with Xu Youling's affairs.
Especially regarding sleeping time, the intention behind it is questionable.
Xu Youling turned around and faced Pei Zhi sideways, with a serious face: "I want to tell you something."
Xu Youling is the type of person who is very serious about everything he does, and he is even more serious about persuading his sweetheart to accept counseling. His eyebrows unconsciously frowned, showing that he had thought about it for a long time before saying this sentence carefully.
Pei Zhi then listened attentively: "You speak."
"I will help you with counseling." Xu Youling announced firmly.
"No." Pei Zhi refused without thinking.
"Why?" Xu Youling raised her voice slightly, which sounded a bit abrupt in the night. She then lowered it again, still looking very dissatisfied. "Why do you always not want me to help you with your emotions? My ability is not as bad as before, and I won't cry easily... Besides, we are already very familiar with each other, so what's the harm in just a little help?"
The more he talked, the more he remembered the time in the White Pagoda when Pei Zhi had been wary of him like a thief and wouldn't let him vent his anger. The more he thought about it, the more he felt something was wrong. Pei Zhi didn't say anything again. Xu Youling took a deep breath and lowered his voice a little: "Besides Fang Suiming, is there anyone else?"
He felt as if he was facing a great enemy, as if he was the only person responsible for Pei Zhi's spiritual world, and that he would be blamed if anything went wrong.
"Am I so dark in my mind?" Pei Zhi asked back.
"Then why don't you let me vent?" Xu Youling chased him and asked, "You don't have anything shameful..."
"What do you mean? What are you doubting me about?" Pei Zhi raised his eyebrows.
Xu Youling then realized the misunderstanding his words would cause. His face felt a little hot, but he still kept his composure, though his tone was a little less questioning. "How could I doubt you? I just wanted to help you."
"You're afraid that I might have some other problems." Pei Zhi pointed out mercilessly.
"No!" Xu Youling suddenly became a little annoyed. "Can you please stop thinking of me like that? I'm asking because I'm worried about you, not because I'm afraid of you. Even if you're mentally polluted like before... can't I still help you recover like before?"
Pei Zhi was startled for a moment, then immediately reached out to touch his hair: "Don't be angry with me."
"Who's mad at you? You're the one who can't take care of yourself and makes people worry, yet you still say I'm doubting you." Xu Youling dodged his movements and became angrier as he spoke. "It was the same before. You just didn't want me to help you. Do you think I'm sympathizing with you? No way!"
"You were the one who abandoned me first." Pei Zhi's face darkened after being avoided. "You left without a word first, and before that you even gave me a mental hint. Did I say anything to you?"
Pei Zhi's words were terribly fierce, completely different from his previous feigned dissatisfaction. He was almost gritting his teeth. He probably knew this himself, so he turned his face away before he finished speaking, no longer looking at Xu Youling.
The only sound in the air was his suppressed breathing, and it was obvious that he was very angry.
Xu Youling was confused, wondering what mistake the two of them had made that led to the sudden argument.
He lay back down again, looking at the ceiling, his voice a little muffled: "Then why are you angry with me?"
"I didn't mean to ask you this." Xu Youling bit her lip. "I asked because I was worried about you."
Pei Zhi didn't say anything. He took a few quick breaths, then reached out and forcibly grabbed Xu Youling's wrist.
The back of his head was still facing the person, but his hands were clenched tightly. As if that was not enough, he slid down a little bit until his fingers were intertwined.
A familiar shudder rolled up behind Xu Youling's ears like an electric shock, burning him so much that he almost jumped up: "Don't..."
"What do you mean by that? Aren't you going to help me?" Pei Zhi tightened his grip maliciously. "I let you see it that day because I heard you were actually trying to give me mental hints. So that was the result of controlling the fluctuations of your mental power."
Xu Youling suddenly opened his eyes wide, not knowing what to say.
But the pain, hatred and tearing despair buried deep in his soul continued to climb up along Pei Zhi's finger bones.
That is their empathy.
"You really want to die on me." Pei Zhi seemed to sense something and said in a low voice, "I'm willing to do that."
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