Chapter 81 Chapter 81 Balance.
When it's completely over.
It was already dawn.
The room was in chaos.
The air was filled with an indescribable charming smell. The corner of the quilt was hanging on the edge of the bed, clothes were scattered on the floor, and the sheets were so wet that they could no longer be used.
Su Tu was dying, his eyes weakly closed, and he was almost unconscious.
He was so dehydrated that he was almost dry, unable to shed a single tear. Only the natural sobs after a long period of sobbing revealed a trace of life.
Shi Shu kissed his red and swollen eyes, covered him with the quilt, went out to heat a bottle of milk, crawled back into bed, held him in his arms, and coaxed him to drink water.
But when I put the straw into my mouth, there was no movement for a long time.
She still had her eyes closed, her brows slightly furrowed, and her face showed visible discomfort, but she seemed to have lost even the strength to frown. Her lips trembled a few times, and the mouth of the tube did not move at all.
He had no choice but to pour the milk back into the bowl, change the spoon, and gather the child in his arms, feeding him spoonful by spoonful, still coaxing him softly, saying with each spoonful, "Be good, drink another sip."
Seeing her trying to swallow it, he kissed her again, "Good girl."
Despite this, a lot of liquid still overflowed, flowing along the trembling jaw, forming a sharp contrast on the skin covered with red marks.
As it rises and falls with your breathing, it becomes more tempting and delicious.
Shi Shu paused briefly and then turned his head.
Can't watch.
Look, something bad is going to happen again.
He raised his hand, wiped it, and put it into his mouth.
He fed the baby half a bowl of food intermittently before carrying him to the bathroom for a quick rinse. When he came back, he put on a T-shirt, laid him on the lazy sofa, and opened the closet to look for new sheets.
He caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye and paused.
He quickly came to his senses.
When I put on the new bed sheets and carried the person back to bed, it was already bright outside.
His whole body is covered with muscles, and the density is very high. Although it doesn't look that exaggerated, the weight cannot be underestimated. When you put it on your body, you will obviously feel breathless.
But leave some space, just put her arms and legs on your body and hug her, it will be just right, forming a reliable and solid sense of support.
Su Tu kept his eyes closed and his consciousness was very vague. He could feel the movement around him, but he couldn't react. It was not until this moment that he felt that the world had completely quieted down.
The breathing beside my ears is real, and the feeling of weakness after overdrawing my body is also magnified.
She felt like a thin piece of paper, with no gravity. Any breeze could blow her into the sky and take her to the end of the world.
But now the piece of paper was kept in a warm embrace. Even though it was protected from wind and frost, it was still feared that it would be accidentally lost, so two stones of varying weights were carefully placed on top of it.
Warm and solid.
Accompanied by a satisfied "good night", she fell into a peaceful sleep.
…
I slept very deeply.
Even without any specific knowledge, I can feel that a long time has passed.
Because when I opened my eyes, the light coming through the cotton curtains was about the same as at the end of the morning, gray and hazy, either it was almost night or it was about to dawn.
Su Tu's whole body was sore and he lay paralyzed on the bed as if his bones were torn apart, and even the numbness in the joints of his bones was not completely gone.
She stared at the ceiling with a dazed expression for a long time, her eyes still dull. She vaguely heard the sound of the iron door opening and closing, but felt that the noise seemed much smaller than last time.
From impatient to cautious.
She blinked, slowly stretched out her arm, and struggled to touch the phone beside her pillow.
I saw that the time was five o'clock in the evening.
When he tried to stand up with his arms, his limbs began to tremble violently because he could not support himself. After a moment, he became weak and collapsed.
More than just overdraft.
Also, it's because I haven't eaten for a long time.
Shi Shu opened the door and came in. Seeing that the man had just woken up, his breathing was a little weak and rapid again. He reached out and rubbed the top of his head, then leaned over and kissed the corner of his lips.
He lifted the quilt, pulled the person out, and took him to the bathroom to wash.
He had already slept for a long time, and sleeping any longer would only make him more tired. The takeaway had arrived twice, and even if he hadn't woken up yet, he was going to go in and try to wake him up.
It was just right at this moment. He put the toothbrush in his hand, supported his waist, and stabilized his trembling body. He seemed to feel great about doing anything, and lowered his eyes to kiss his earlobe.
Looking at the large patch of red skin and the scattered dark purple kiss marks that extended from the earlobe to the collar, his voice became a little darker, just like last night: "Tu Tu is so good."
I don't know if he was praising her for being able to brush her teeth by herself.
Still made it through the whole night.
The person in front of the mirror was wearing only a white T-shirt that covered most of her body. Her long hair was loose like a waterfall, her eyelashes were fluttering, her eyes were still red and swollen after crying all night, the corners of her mouth were slightly sunken, and her teeth brushing movements were slow and awkward.
Like a furry creature that had been badly bullied, it was feeling aggrieved and angry under the powerful pressure.
It was like without the cover of night, I felt a little embarrassed to be praised by my nickname like this.
No matter which one, in his eyes, they are undoubtedly cute and pitiful.
While I was brushing my teeth, I don't know how many times I kissed her. My hands were not very honest either. I felt along the base of her legs for a while and found that they were swollen.
I took the medicine at noon.
It feels a little better, but also not so much.
He frowned slightly and tried to lift up his clothes to check, but his forearm was slapped softly and the eyes in the mirror glared at him fiercely.
Because of the redness and swelling, it looks both ferocious and miserable, like a rabbit that will bite when it is cornered. It is not very intimidating, but it does not prevent it from being very imposing.
It looks even better to kiss.
In the end, he withdrew his hands and tightened his waist.
His thin lips covered the back of his neck, caressing and licking it lovingly.
Su Tu had no strength to begin with, his legs were shaking even when he was standing, and he became even softer after being kissed.
Unable to bear the shivers and hums.
Her cheeks became more flushed, and she could hardly hold the toothbrush. She looked at her figure in the mirror, which was completely covered with scratches and bite marks on her exposed arms and shoulder blades.
I couldn't help but think of the process of how these marks were formed, and my body seemed to have some chain reaction, breathing instinctively and tightening again.
It still feels very strong and has the strong momentum of being stretched by violence.
Even though he was no longer there.
The sense of shame returned and rose.
She endured the trembling from being rubbed, put down the toothbrush and accused: "Why aren't you wearing clothes!"
Of course she knew that his clothes were on her, but she was not without a coat, and she just wanted to cause trouble for him for no reason.
From early morning to dawn, dawn in deep winter.
She couldn't even imagine how she had gotten through, and he started rubbing against her again, as if he might do it again at any time.
Shi Shu was indeed a little angry again, but he also knew that she had consumed too much energy and did not think anything more about it. He did not refute when he heard the words, but just took the scolding as a way of pampering.
He let go of her earlobe and followed her words, "I'll go back and get it later."
So much so that she couldn't even satisfy herself by complaining.
She hummed in frustration, looking as if she didn't want to pay attention to him, and leaned over to wash her face.
Come out of the bathroom.
Just as Shi Shu was about to carry her to the restaurant, she patted his shoulder and said, "Go back to the room."
She always had to put on her clothes before eating. Even if he didn't care, she would feel ashamed when she saw the marks she had left.
I opened the closet, trying to find something to change into before returning the T-shirt to him.
His sight suddenly stopped.
Because I didn't live here permanently before, there were only a few sets of clothes in the closet, all stacked up, and the out-of-season and old clothes were piled on the other side.
A black men's jacket hung alone above all the wardrobes is particularly eye-catching.
She was stunned, and suddenly she felt a panic in her heart because she had secretly hidden other men's clothes. She instinctively wanted to close the wardrobe and pretend that nothing had happened.
Finally, for some unknown reason, she took the hanger down and, stunned, held it over to him. With an inexplicable yet strong premonition, she stiffly asked, "Is this dress... yours?"
Shi Shu didn't say anything, but his expression was inexplicably frozen.
It’s not that I’m afraid of being discovered, but I’m definitely not sure how to deal with it.
Su Tu didn't notice it, because her mind was flashing like a kaleidoscope, with many images exploding in a chaotic and crowded manner. The sparks from the scratching made her head hurt a little.
The most clear thing is undoubtedly the process of obtaining this coat——
A low-key and skillful escort.
He was tall and neatly covered himself with clothes to block the view.
The voice was low and cold, but very thoughtful:
-I have four minutes left to get home. Can I go back by myself?
-Don't look back.
Also a sports student.
Same style of clothes.
Same style of conduct, height, and tone of voice.
And the same delicate and precise timing. Except for him.
Will there be a second person?
She raised her eyes with doubt, and when she looked at him, her mind seemed to be emptied, unable to function, yet inexplicably certain: "You said you liked me because you saw me for a moment."
"Which moment?"
After a night of exhaustion and a whole day without eating or drinking, she was shaking all over as she spoke while holding her clothes. Shi Shu actually wanted to ask if they could wait until after dinner to talk.
But seeing the stubbornness in her eyes, he finally lowered his head and sighed: "It's the one you thought of."
…
The Affiliated High School of City A is a comprehensive and prestigious school with a tradition of literature and sports.
Many records have been set in both culture and sports.
But for some reason, there was a period of time where I lost almost every competition, no matter which event it was. It wasn’t that I lost badly, it was mainly because of luck.
Either second or third.
It wasn't a bad result originally.
But the reality is that no one cares about the fourth and fifth places, but the team that was once the favorite to win the championship and has become the perennial runner-up will be nailed to the pillar of shame.
Therefore, for a long time, the sports students of the affiliated middle school would be ridiculed wherever they went. People outside the school laughed at them, saying that the harder they worked, the more sad they felt, and people inside the school also felt ashamed of it.
As they lose so many times, they lose confidence and it will be even more difficult for them to make a breakthrough in the next competition.
It was also during that time that Su Tu was being harassed by a second-generation official and was unable to catch up with her. He also often saw her hanging out with a fat and big-eared athlete.
Out of jealousy and fear of losing face to such a person, he would often cause trouble for Guo Jiawei, blocking the playground, the toilet, and even after school.
Threats and warnings are considered mild. Beating people until they are black and blue, and then filming videos to humiliate them is commonplace.
After many times, Su Tu still refused to nod, so the other party naturally became more aggressive. They dragged Guo Jiawei to the playground and called Su Tu over, making her watch him being bullied with her own eyes, with someone recording the video next to her.
He first asked Guo Jiawei to demonstrate the shot put, saying that was his specialty and he wanted to see what he could do. Guo Jiawei was trembling and naturally threw poorly, so he mocked him, "This isn't even close to second place, is it?"
"The thousand-year-old runner-up couldn't even throw the second one, it's below standard."
After saying that, he smiled and patted his face, and said that since he couldn't throw it to the second place, then he should throw it to a few designated positions, either 5 meters, 2 meters, or 1 meter, exactly the right amount.
Guo Jiawei missed the target, and he sarcastically said, "You're not that professional, you can't even express your feelings properly?"
Then he turned back and asked Su Tu: "With this thing, what do you think he can expect?"
"Studying sports is already a dead end, and in our school? Shot put? What are you planning on doing in the future? Carrying cement?"
"Why don't you consider it, please, maybe I can find a way to change his major, like weightlifting? Maybe he could learn to carry a few more bags, or sprint? That way, at least he can get away quickly if something goes wrong."
A group of sports students happened to pass by, warming up for their evening training.
He raised his chin again. "Well, just like these guys, they don't feel ashamed when they lose. They just slip away quickly enough and pretend they didn't hear anything."
The accomplices next to him laughed out loud.
The sports students opposite looked livid.
Because Guo Jiawei, whom he targeted many times, was a sports student, this group of people were often ridiculed, and some were even more unpleasant. However, due to discipline, his background, and indisputable facts, no one could refute anything.
On the other side, Su Tu was unable to move. He was being held by two girls on his left and right in a friendly manner. His eyes were red and his body was shaking.
At this point, I finally couldn't help myself and asked back with wide eyes: "Are your grades good?"
"Have you ever gotten second place?"
The other party's smile froze: "..."
The person recording the video also looked over.
Su Tu trembled even more violently, but still gritted his teeth and roared, "So, being bad at sports makes you more noble?"
"Can you guarantee that you can achieve great things by studying literature?"
"If you can't, you might as well defeat them in their own field before you spout these self-righteous nonsense!"
"Can you?"
Then the situation turned around.
The other party's face turned extremely ugly, but the athletes were enlightened.
Yes.
Their grades are not good.
But then again, if you can do it, go ahead!
If you have the ability, beat me first, and then say I’m not good enough!
They were all passionate at that age, and soon someone stood up and said, "Come on, let's have a sprint race first."
"If you want to compete in long-distance running, that's fine."
"Basketball, table tennis, weightlifting, whatever you choose."
"Why are you silent? Are you unable to accept defeat?"
"No way, with our results, are you still afraid of losing?"
"Hahahahaha, it's really easier to just talk big. I can get whatever place I want..."
The scene suddenly became extremely chaotic. The person recording the video realized something was wrong and wanted to take his phone back, but was noticed by a few sports students. They surrounded him, had a friendly conversation with him, and then forwarded the video.
The person who received the video held up his phone and said: "Don't you like publicity? Then we will promote you. You are the number one in Chinese and sports. You can get the first place just by talking!"
The other side originally had the advantage of having more people.
But now he was surrounded and humiliated by more people. Finally, he became angry and stared at Su Tu before leaving. His eyes were fierce and paranoid: "Just wait for me..."
When the figure disappeared, Su Tu seemed to have no idea what he had done. His body, which was being held down by force, suddenly went limp and tears suddenly welled up in his eyes.
An intense fear came over me, and I had no idea what the future would hold. I tried hard to hold back my tears, but still choked with sobs.
Although he was obviously terrified, he was still able to speak clearly and muster up the courage to stand up.
I defended everyone, but I looked timid: I really regret it, can you please turn back time a little bit? Wuwuwu...
Shi Shu passed by from the other end.
I happened to see such a complicated, contradictory and pitiful scene.
It's not that touching.
But I did remember it.
I don't quite understand that kind of emotion, but I'm a little curious about how it feels to be protected like that.
Because at that time, his swimming performance was not even at the second or third level, and he was not a true athlete, so he was not within her support.
In addition, her words also gave him a new answer to the proposition he was stuck in.
Due to his family background, he was exposed to many sports at an early age. His discovery of his talent in swimming was an accident, and his parents did not initially intend for him to pursue a professional career.
But as his level improved and it became time to decide whether to pursue a professional career, his parents began to think that since he was good at both academics and sports, it wouldn't be that difficult to give him both.
This decision made him somewhat resistant at the time.
Maybe it's just like what she said, when people who can't do something point fingers, it's really frivolous and confusing.
In addition, he actually has no high sentiment towards culture and sports. He doesn't understand why he should strive for them, and what the point would be if he really achieved them.
Therefore, I have always been somewhat negative and have never given my all to either of them.
Until I heard her say—
It would be better to defeat them in their own field before you can talk such frivolous nonsense!
He suddenly realized that what he thought his parents' ideas were frivolous was also frivolous.
Before thinking that studying culture and sports is meaningless, shouldn't he first reach the top of this field? At least he should wait until he has truly achieved it before he is qualified to define and judge it.
So after that day, he suddenly accepted that arrangement.
When someone got excited and came to him with a "schedule" and asked if he wanted to be a flower protector, he did not refuse.
…
It is difficult for Su Tu to describe how he feels right now.
It’s unexpected, but not so unexpected, because after putting yourself in the situation, you’ll find that everything is so reasonable. Only such a reserved person would turn escorting into stalking!
He never showed his face from beginning to end. If he hadn't been discovered, he wouldn't say anything until now!
I feel ashamed because I looked a little cowardly and immature when I was noticed, and it is still remembered to this day.
I feel a little relieved, but also a little angry...
The chaotic mix of emotions piled up together, making it a bit difficult to process. However, I still felt that the information was not enough. My face flushed and I asked him, "Anything else?"
Shi Shu hung the clothes back and picked the man up again: "What?"
Su Tu was still in a vacuum state. This posture made her even more awkward. Realizing that he was deliberately pretending to be stupid and making such a move to distract attention, her face turned redder, embarrassed and annoyed. She suddenly grabbed her ears and stared at him with wide eyes: "What happened after that day? What happened when you were following me!"
“Why did it go from noticing to liking?”
“When did you add me on WeChat?”
"Do you have to ask me a question before you can say one?"
Still able to be ruthless.
It means he's not really angry.
Shi Shu let her play with him, and even gave him an encouraging kiss before asking, "Can we eat first?"
Replenish your energy.
Give him some time to think about it.
Su Tu stopped talking again, just stared at him silently with an expression that said, "Do you think I can wait?"
In comparison, her silence is far more effective than anger.
The former will make him compromise.
The latter will probably be kissed forcibly.
Just as he knew exactly how to control her, she also knew that what he feared most was her indifference.
There was still room for discussion when there was silence.
After a long silence, her thoughts became finalized.
So he finally carried her back to bed and kissed her again, to show that he was very positive about his confession.
…
He didn't actually "follow" intentionally.
At first, I just felt that there was no need to communicate, and since we didn't know each other, I just wanted to send him home safely. Later, I was a little surprised, and it might be a bit embarrassing to show up again.
Anyway, before that, he didn't quite realize that a person who appeared quite serious and cold in front of others could do evil things behind their backs.
He laughed at the Corgis in the alley for having short legs, looking like rabbits but not running as fast as rabbits. Finally, he concluded earnestly: So you should continue to be a puppy, because rabbits' legs are not that short.
I was chased all the way and stepped into a puddle, which made my newly bought white shoes dirty. When I got home, I started to blame the dog, saying that the dog in front was very fierce and had made my white shoes dirty. I asked my grandmother to go to the parents to ask for an explanation tomorrow.
There used to be a lot of children in the alley. Occasionally, if there were children left alone, she would go up to them, holding a candy to coax them, and say, "I also have a younger brother, but he is still very young and can't call me sister. Otherwise, you call me sister for him first, and she will give you the candy."
The child believed it and ate the candy as soon as she finished shouting. When the parents came out of the store and saw the child, they pushed her angrily and asked the child to apologize. She became very generous again, waved her hands and said it was okay, she was just a child.
Things like this, teasing and instigating.
It happens almost every time.
Before this, his basic understanding of people was vague. He might distinguish between good and evil, beautiful and ugly, but generally speaking, it had nothing to do with him.
But during that time, he would often watch from behind with his forehead twitching, wondering what trouble she was going to get into today, whether she would be discovered, and if the crime scene was not handled properly, he would have to stay and clean up.
All in all, the experience was indeed wonderful.
But that's all.
Not long after that, he joined the provincial team and the national team. He was overwhelmed by competitions, college entrance examinations, and all kinds of trivial matters. Occasionally, he would think of that vivid figure, but he did not have any motivation.
Until I entered University A and met him again at school.
She is obviously much more honest when there are many people around.
She always looked distant and cold, but he knew that was just a disguise for being unsociable.
Because of this, she is often criticized for being aloof and impolite. She doesn't respond when people greet her on the street, and the more people talk about her, the more outrageous it becomes.
He would occasionally hear it, look up and glance at it, and then the other party would feel guilty and quiet down.
Maybe I'm used to helping her clean up afterward.
It's not a matter of defending her, but she really can't stand any voice that slanders her.
Then there was another time when he lost a match and was eliminated in the preliminaries in an upset.
But his original expectation was to win the championship.
It was probably just like she said, he was used to being in control and couldn't accept things that were beyond his control, even though competitive sports were cruel.
But his mentality was not stable at that time. For a long time, he was trapped in overwhelming self-doubt. During the rest period, he felt that there was nothing to do and it seemed that he could not do anything well.
At this time, using your eyes to warn those spreading rumors is both a way to stop them and a way to vent your emotions.
At the same time, there is a subtle sense of compensation that this is not bad and that there is something to do.
What happened next was probably some strange coincidence.
In order to find something more to do, I started attending classes at the Creative Academy.
Adding WeChat was also a coincidence.
Somehow a group was created for a course, and the QR code was hung on the display screen. He scanned it and then added the friend through the group chat. She probably thought it was a classmate and accepted it. When the group asked for remarks, he left the group again.
He guessed that her friends were divided into groups, and she probably only blocked her classmates, because other than that, she didn't have many friends.
Since he is not in the same group as his classmates, he can often be seen in some cheerful and funny circles of friends.
Most of the time she was the one causing trouble on her own initiative.
But his tone was condescending and he was shifting the blame everywhere.
It doesn't make any sense, but it's quite interesting.
At least for him at that time, it was a kind of adjustment.
Later, in order to save time, she became his special concern, but despite this, he would still take the time to enter the circle of friends through the avatar and read those meaningless contents over and over again.
It sounded like he was talking to himself, but also like he was talking specifically to him.
He began to look forward to the holidays, to going back to school, to seeing that face, and wanted to use a more explicit way to let her show her defenseless side in front of him.
Like in the circle of friends, like on the way home from school.
But when he finally had a concrete motive and returned to school, the news he heard was:
She is in love.
He couldn't quite remember how he felt at the time, or maybe his mind was just blank, without any anger, jealousy, or distortion.
He just realized very clearly that the only person who aroused his desire to protect him no longer needed his protection.
He left again.
Special care was cancelled and focus was placed on training and competition.
But once he has some free time, he will still uncontrollably click on the avatar to check out the latest updates and those daily things that have nothing to do with him but can be shared with someone specifically.
But unexpectedly, not long after, she started posting less and less on WeChat Moments, only one or two posts occasionally, and she was no longer as lively as before.
He thought it was a quarrel with her boyfriend and didn't look into it further.
Later on, there were fewer and fewer of them, and the excitement seemed to have been completely recycled.
When he realized something was wrong and checked the forum again, she had broken up with him again.
The situation doesn't look good.
After the game, he returned to school.
It’s hard to describe my mood. I’m mostly worried, but I’m also a little relieved.
He had already begun to think about how to seize the opportunity this time, but then he heard the words "it has to be him".
Like irony.
He was so immersed in himself, but she didn't even know who he was.
Where is the chance at all?
He came and went, flew several times, and finally realized that he was just a passer-by.
From now on, there will be no more fearless delusions.
I wasn't too sad, and I thought it might just be a protective instinct, not that I really liked her that much.
We have never really known each other, nor have we ever had any real contact. I gave up even if I said I would. And I have never violated my promise in all these years.
It’s just that when I’m asked about my favorite type, that face will involuntarily flash through my mind, and I will just habitually pay attention to the dynamics, resulting in some insignificant ups and downs.
That's all.
If she hadn't called and broken the balance he had maintained for so long.
He believed that he should and could hold on to the end.
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