Chapter 82 Chapter 82 I can’t bear to leave.
The room was quiet for a moment.
Neither of them spoke anymore, their eyes fixed on each other, as if they were playing a game of chess. However, because they were too close, they could feel each other's heartbeat was not steady.
Shi Shu didn't know what she was thinking, but he always felt nervous because of her silence.
Perhaps it was the experience accumulated over the years that made me understand that her silence mostly meant depression, disappointment, and even determination to let go, which was all done in silence.
Maybe it was just the instinct of a secret admirer. As soon as she showed such calmness, he would subconsciously feel that he was about to be abandoned.
Although it is clear to me that it shouldn't be that serious.
But instinct cannot be controlled.
His jaw was tense, his chest rising and falling slightly, as if he was trying to regulate his breathing. He was trying to break the silence when she suddenly said, "Are you done?"
The tone is very calm.
Like an expression.
It seemed like she was just asking, but he felt panic for no reason. He didn't dare say anything more, fearing that he would lose control of the situation even more: "...Hmm."
Su Tu frowned, as if he had seen through the lie, and his tone became sharp: "Are you sure?"
Shi Shu's Adam's apple was astringent: "..."
With her arms around her waist, she sat astride him. It was clearly an ambiguous posture, but her expression was cold, as if she had given him an opportunity but hadn't been able to seize it, and he was a little disappointed.
But he still didn't want to talk, he just wanted to kiss her, to feel softness instead of hardness.
Su Tu is just the opposite. The more serious the matter is, the less she wants to treat it vaguely, even though it involves feelings and cannot be solved with just a kiss.
Especially when she realized that his thoughts and actions were essentially an attempt to cover up something, she became even more annoyed.
She wasn't trying to blame anyone. How could she possibly think of punishing or betraying someone who loved her so much and gave so much without saying a word?
So she didn't understand even more why there was nothing that couldn't be said about these things. Moreover, she had already asked this question, but he was still trying to hide it!
"What about these two scars?"
As she spoke, her breathing became slightly rapid, and her hand, which was pointing at his lower left abdomen, was trembling with anger. "You said it was because of the surgery? What surgery?"
Shi Shu's abdominal muscles suddenly contracted, and his mind became more tense: "..."
Su Tu was indeed disappointed.
So she no longer expected him to speak out. She paused as if enduring something, then asked with a pursed mouth, "Were you the one who was injured at the entrance of the alley that night?"
Seeing her eyes suddenly turn red.
Shi Shu was stunned again: "..."
Calmness is just an appearance.
If he knew her better, he would see that it was just self-protection.
Because if she said a few more words at this moment, she might become like this, with her eyes red and tears streaming down her face: "Why did you lie to me!?"
But it seems that I can't blame him.
Because in the past, no one had ever been worthy of her losing her composure like this, so where could he get such experience?
His heart tightened and he immediately panicked, a little caught off guard by the sudden situation. Fortunately, this time she was in his arms, and he had the opportunity to coax her openly.
As if receiving a signal, he instinctively hugged her tightly. Before the tears fell, his brows knitted together and he began to kiss her non-stop: "I didn't lie, I didn't lie to you."
"Tu Tu, be good and don't cry, okay."
Su Tu didn't want to cry, but his voice was unclear: "I didn't lie to you, it was an operation!"
"It's surgery."
Shi Shu knew he couldn't hide it anymore, so he could only confess: "The one above is."
Because the needle was stabbed too deep, it entered the abdominal cavity.
We need to open the abdomen to check the situation.
Su Tu had already guessed what was going on, but he couldn't help but choke up when he spoke: "...Why?"
She reached out and patted his shoulder, blaming and angrily: "You are obviously so much taller than him, how could you lose to him? And shouldn't you run away when you see the knife? Why did you stay there? Are you stupid???"
It had been so long since the incident, and Shi Shu had no desire to express himself, not to mention that he had already anticipated that she would do this. Even if he really thought it was a nothing, she might not.
Because no matter who you are, if someone suddenly blocks a knife for you, you will not feel at ease.
But now that things have come to this, he can only try to speak lightly: "Unprepared."
This is how he does things. If he can solve the problem in one go, he will never take a roundabout way.
Therefore, after subduing the man, they called the police. No matter how the man begged for mercy and promised not to do it again, they remained indifferent. Perhaps this had already angered the other party.
When the police arrived, he thought the man could not escape and relaxed his vigilance. After the man broke free, he suddenly took out a knife from his pocket and used considerable force under stress, which caused the wound.
"But……"
Su Tu looked at the two old scars. His body, dehydrated overnight, was miraculously filled with mist again. His eyes were wet and he looked bewildered and confused. "But why can't I find you?"
My heart felt like a balloon about to burst. Every word he said seemed to increase the pressure, making the emotions piled up inside even more complicated and heavy.
She couldn't handle it, and she also felt like she had missed the opportunity to deal with it and could never go back to that time to embrace his anxiety and panic.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, hitting the wound. She wiped them away helplessly, even afraid of hurting him. She looked up nervously, "...I've been looking for you, for a long time."
"I even asked people to ask if anyone was injured and hospitalized, or if anyone suddenly transferred schools, but why, I just can't find anyone..."
Shi Shu, however, took her hand, which had nowhere to put, and touched the scar, then put it around her waist, without controlling the strength, hoping to tell her that it really didn't hurt anymore.
My thoughts were tangled up, and I felt a sense of loss and complexity: "Because before that, I had already transferred to another school."
I went to a professional sports school and the procedures have been completed.
After the incident, the sports school thought that the process was not completed and it was delayed, while the affiliated high school thought that he had transferred smoothly, and neither side thought much about it.
Of course, this was his intentional guidance.
After all, being injured and hospitalized is not a glorious thing. In his opinion, there is no need to publicize it, and he even finds it troublesome to explain.
There just happened to be an information gap, so I did this.
I also heard that someone was asking about what happened that day, and guessed it must be her, but I still have the same thought: it's not a glorious thing. What good would it do to know it? Would it put pressure on others for no reason?
I'm not very courageous to begin with.
What should he do if she cries like this again?
He really plans and acts in a thorough manner.
The aftermath was so good that it was as if nothing had happened.
Su Tu was so anxious that his cheeks flushed, his heart beat rapidly, and his mind was in an extremely contradictory state. He was afraid of hurting him, but at the same time he wanted to bite him hard.
In the end, both sides had no choice but to burst into tears and curse: "How can there be someone as suffocating as you!"
"You still think it's because of others who missed out on six years. That's not the case at all! It's all because of you. You're holding everything back, and you're so self-righteous and full of wild thoughts!"
She turned back and pointed at the clothes in the closet: "Do you know, if you had shown up at that time and I had found you, maybe I would have started pursuing you then, and none of this mess would have happened later!"
What's flying around, hiding in the corner and watching her.
She doesn't know what the point is no matter how much he does!
Shi Shu held her face, kissing her from time to time, hoping to muffle her voice and stop her from being so emotional. However, he froze when he heard her words, his mind caught by a new thought: "...Are you pursuing me?"
Su Tu's tears were streaked across his face, and he looked fierce and miserable: "Is it not possible?"
Shi Shu was a little distracted, as if he was afraid of being intimidated. He imagined the situation, but after a moment he said, "Forget it."
Su Tu stared at him with a stubborn look on his face, as if to say, "Are you rejecting me?"
He hugged her tightly, lowered his eyes and sighed softly: "I can't bear to leave."
“…”
She tilted her neck back, and her tears finally burst out like a flood: "Ah..."
Then, as if she was angry and embarrassed, she couldn't help but bite him, flailing her limbs around, and her tone was more broken than ever: "You are really annoying!"
"Why is it so good? Woohoo..."
"Do you know that you are only making me feel so sorry for you? I owe you so much, and I can't pay you back anymore. What should I do? Wuwuwu..."
Just finished crying all night.
It's been consumed so intensely again.
Shi Shu's heart was in turmoil, and a layer of mist covered his eyes. When he pressed her into his arms, he seemed to be unable to hold on. He leaned against her shoulder and whispered back, "No."
"I don't owe you anything."
Didn't he get everything?
The person he has been thinking about for so many years is already in his arms.
Real and vivid.
There is emotion, there is warmth, and I still love him like this.
He kissed the undulating collarbone, hugged her tighter, rubbed her head lovingly, and coaxed her: "Tu Tu, be good, don't cry..."
"Be good, I'll take you out for dinner, okay..."
…
She really wanted to be obedient.
I really want to give him lots of love.
But she couldn't stop crying. She cried in his arms for a long time, sobbing intermittently for a long time before finally wilting as if all her energy was drained out.
My body was limp, my mind was numb. I didn't know what to do, and I had no energy.
Correspondingly, a kind of obedient person who is very easy to manipulate is formed.
She let him carry her out, feed her water and food, and chewed and swallowed obediently. Every time she took a bite, he would kiss her as a reward. It was very gentle and very comfortable.
Then she slowly finished the whole bowl of rice as if to get full praise.
Shi Shu also felt a sense of satisfaction like raising a pet. He watched the person eat it slowly as if he was holding a carrot. After he finished the whole meal, he couldn't help but raise his hand and stroke it twice.
Afterwards, he carried her back to the room, changed her and his clothes himself, took the key and went out.
Su Tu was still limp, and only muttered, "Where are you going?" when he was carried out of the room.
Shi Shu then let the person down at the door and asked, "Come out for a walk?"
I've been bored at home all day.
Exercising right after a meal can actually help you recover.
Su Tu didn't want to go, but suddenly he was willing to listen to him.
Hearing this, she nodded softly without even pouting, as if saying that she would do anything for him. She took his hand and shook it gently, indicating that they could leave now.
To be honest.
He didn't want to go out again.
But her current physical condition obviously did not allow her to do anything. In order to recover as quickly as possible, he could only hold back a little and lead her out.
-
The first night of the new year.
The wind and snow are still strong.
The old street is sparsely populated and there are only a few shops.
Shi Shu had no particular purpose. He led the people around the neighborhood. After he felt that the limbs in his palms were regaining strength and were no longer so soft and boneless, he took the people into a 24-hour convenience store.
There are no daily necessities for him in this house, so he needs to replenish some of hers as well.
He placed her in the dining area and picked out some essential items. When he turned around to ask her if she wanted to eat anything, he saw that she had already walked to the cashier.
She was concentrating on studying the family planning products in front of her.
He paused, then walked over again. Just as his big hand covered her lower back, she made a choice between the two products on the left and right, raised the box in her right hand and asked him, "Is this the one you are using?"
Shi Shu: “…”
She didn't see the packaging last night and forgot to ask.
But after looking around, this seems to be the largest size.
She had a serious expression on her face, not even noticing the clerk's seemingly casual glance. Feeling it must be correct, she exchanged the box in her left hand for another identical one, putting them together and saying, "You still have three days off. Would buying two more boxes be enough?"
Just in case, I took one more box: "Three boxes is better."
Shi Shu certainly knew why this was the case. Fortunately, he had now confirmed her feelings and no longer had to worry about whether she was taking such an initiative out of gratitude or being touched.
So he didn't stop her, but just handed over the shopping basket and agreed, "Yeah."
Exit the convenience store.
In a few minutes, they reached the alley entrance again.
The night is dark and the street lights are dim.
The wind and snow have picked up, and it's not suitable to stay outside for long.
Su Tu suddenly grabbed the man and glanced around, as if recalling or feeling something. He walked around to the front and raised his head to call him, "Shi Shu."
“…”
Shi Shu's eyelids twitched. Looking at her still red and swollen eyes, he had a bad feeling, fearing that she would start to confirm where he was standing when he was injured.
Su Tu just sniffed, and then pulled himself out of his thoughts. As if confirming something, he looked at him seriously and said, "I've thought about it."
"I'll chase you."
Shi Shu was stunned: "..."
She seemed to have been pondering this question all night, and suddenly she began to argue coherently: "Because actually, that night, I kind of liked you."
"I'm curious about what you look like. I really want to meet you. I've kept your clothes."
"Besides, I don't have much self-control, I can't resist temptation, and my patience isn't very good. If I knew you, it wouldn't be long before I couldn't help but confess my feelings."
It’s also very dialectical: “If I can’t catch her after chasing her for a long time, I might give up, but I will definitely chase her!”
Only then did Shi Shu understand.
This is a confession.
In this regard, she has indeed never been shy. During this period of time, she has confessed her feelings to him more times and in more words than he has to her.
So he agreed with what she said, but: "Before that, would you like to explain first?"
Su Tu blinked: "What?"
Shi Shu raised his eyebrows, questioning, "What if it wasn't me that night?"
“…”
It's not that he didn't see that she subconsciously wanted to close the wardrobe in the evening, which made it clear that even if the item was not his, she didn't want to throw it away.
Besides, it is an indisputable fact that she has hidden this dress for so many years.
That is, if it wasn't him that night.
She will still keep that dress and that excitement in her heart.
Su Tu was a little dazed after hearing this, and it took him a while to realize: "Are you... jealous of yourself?"
Shi Shu didn't deny it: "Shouldn't I eat it?"
in other words.
If the clothes were not his, and he asked her to get rid of them now, would she?
Su Tu thought about it and felt for the first time the fatality of the question: "..."
If she is willing to throw it away, it means that the girlish excitement she once had is actually nothing to her.
If she was unwilling, it meant that she had planned to hide another man in her heart behind his back.
But these two people are him.
Before she put herself in the shoes of others, she might have been able to make a decision, but now she is reluctant to do anything.
She paused for a long time, unable to think of how to refute.
In the end, she seemed to have done something half-hearted. With an expression of knowing she was wrong, she tugged at his clothes in a flattering manner and said in a muffled voice, "So, what do you want?"
Shi Shu lowered his eyes, looked at the tip of her nose that was red from the cold, and her small gesture in an attempt to get leniency, and amidst her unprepared screams, he grabbed her waist and picked her up.
He pressed his forehead against hers, and pursed his lips in an ambiguous tone: "Let's talk about it when we get home."
The person in his arms looked bewildered, with innocent eyes.
The plastic bag in my hand made a rustling sound in the wind.
He followed her silently along this road many times.
And now, I can finally hold her like this and step through that door as I please.
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The author has something to say: It’s finished, and the remaining daily life of moving and living together will be written in the extra chapter, and some scattered foreshadowings will also be explained.
If you have any extra chapters you want to see, please leave a message. I will try my best to write them if I have inspiration.
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