Heart-to-heart
On the second day, Shangguan Ying sat alone in the room while Ouyang Mingri went to play chess with Master Nong Yue. There were light footsteps behind Shangguan Ying. She turned around and was slightly startled to see Shangguan Yan. Shangguan Ying called out in a calm tone, but with a hint of guilt, "Sister." Shangguan Yan sat down beside her, was silent for a moment, and cast her eyes on the pool. She said with a complicated expression, "I remember when we were little, you loved to drag me out of Fengyu Pavilion secretly to find delicious food on the outskirts of the city. Every time, I covered for you." A wry smile of nostalgia appeared on Shangguan Ying's lips and she said, "Yes, and then when we got home and were discovered by the master, you were always the one who got scolded because you always took the responsibility on yourself." Shangguan Yan said seriously, "Because I am the elder sister." She turned her head and looked at Shangguan Ying deeply, her eyes filled with complicated emotions, "Yingying, I... I'm sorry." Shangguan Ying was a little surprised and asked puzzledly, "Why did sister apologize?"
Shangguan Yan's voice was low, carrying a loneliness she couldn't conceal. "That day, I said I didn't understand you, that I hadn't protected you well... and that was true. I watched you dealing with Nong Yue and Ming Ri, watched you come up with schemes I couldn't agree with, and suddenly I realized that the sister I remembered, who needed my protection, had already walked away alone, into a world completely unfamiliar to me." She paused, her tone filled with guilt. "I'm afraid, not that you'll change, but that... I'll lose you. It's like a wide river is separating us. I look at you on the other side, but I don't know how to cross it."
Shangguan Ying's eyes flushed slightly, and her long-held defense began to soften in the face of her sister's honesty. "Sister, you haven't lost me. I will always be your sister." She took a deep breath and decided to open her heart. "I respect you, always have. You won't understand my ruthlessness and determination. I grew up in an environment where only the fittest can survive. If I were like you, I would have died long ago. When I suggested poisoning the maid, the disappointment in your eyes stabbed me like a knife. I know I have shattered the image of that 'innocent and kind' sister in your mind."
Shangguan Yan: "No, Yingying, it's not disillusionment." She eagerly grasped her sister's hand, which was icy cold. "It's heartache! I'd rather you remain innocent, never needing to understand these tactics! It's my incompetence, my inability to bring peace and prosperity to you and mother, that's forced you to take up these weapons!"
Shangguan Ying held her sister's hand, tears finally falling as she said, "I never thought you were incompetent. The world's general trend is that after a long period of division, there will be reunion, and after a long period of reunion, there will be division. This cannot be changed by one person. As for our differences, isn't that how people are? During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, a hundred schools of thought contended with each other, and people's thoughts constantly clashed, recording their lifelong thoughts in books and passing them on to future generations, and this cycle repeats itself. Thinking back on these experiences now, they are precious treasures in my life. If I were like a pig, without pain, I would not grow, but pigs are raised to be eaten. Sister, you can disagree with me, but please don't blame yourself, okay?"
Shangguan Yan stared at her sister in shock, as if she truly understood her for the first time. The guilt in her eyes gradually gave way to a deeper understanding and tenderness. "So, you haven't become a different person. You've simply chosen a different way to survive."
Shangguan Ying nodded with tears in her eyes and said, "Yes. Sister, we are relatives connected by blood. We don't have to walk the same path to be sisters. You can continue to be your goddess dragon and stick to your morality; and I will continue to be myself, but I will always have Shangguan Ying of this family in my heart. I have never had any emotion towards you other than reluctance." The two sisters held hands tightly, and under the moonlight, the ice of estrangement quietly melted away in sincere tears.
Shangguan Yan gently held her sister in her arms, just like when she was a child, and she let out a long sigh, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Then Shangguan Yan smiled with tears in her eyes and said with infinite tenderness in her eyes, "I understand. You will always be my most beloved sister. You walk on your own path, and if you are tired, look back and I will always be behind you." Shangguan Ying leaned her head on her sister's shoulder, feeling the long-lost, pure sense of security: "Yeah. Sister, the same goes for you. Your path is more dangerous. You are not alone now, you still have me and mother, so don't try to be ashamed of everything, okay? Mother and I don't want to lose you." Shangguan Yan responded firmly, "Okay!" The moonlight was like water, sprinkling in the courtyard, stretching the figures of the two sisters, casting them in two different directions, but closely connected under their feet.
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