Chapter 321 A Broken Heart
At the morning court session at the end of the month, Emperor Zhaoheng sat high on the dragon throne, his bright yellow court robes highlighting his stern face.
His deep eyes were half-closed as he listened to his officials report on local government affairs.
After discussing several matters, the atmosphere in the hall remained relatively calm until the last few censors presented their reports.
An imperial censor surnamed Du stepped forward.
This man was about fifty years old and was known throughout the court and the country for his uprightness and outspokenness.
"Your subject, Imperial Censor Du Qian, has a memorial to present."
Du Qian's voice was loud and clear.
Emperor Zhaoheng raised his eyelids slightly: "Speak."
Du Qian first reported a few minor matters concerning the evaluation of local officials, and then, at the end, his tone shifted, and his voice became somewhat somber:
"Your Majesty, rumors have been circulating in the capital recently, all saying that... the Empress's palace is in turmoil."
Upon hearing this, many court officials secretly raised their eyes to glance at the emperor on the throne.
Emperor Zhaoheng's expression remained unchanged. "Rumors? What rumors? Imperial Censor Du, please explain."
Du Qian seemed hesitant for a moment, but finally said:
"The rumors all point to...the Empress. Some say she's arrogant because of the Emperor's favor, and has defied him..."
"It is said that the Empress's temperament is unstable and she is not fit to be the Empress..."
He prostrated himself and kowtowed, "Your Majesty! The Empress is the foundation of the nation. Instability in the Empress's palace is no blessing for the country!"
"Though I am but a humble subject with little influence, I am still subject to the Emperor's bounty and bear his burdens. Therefore, I have no choice but to risk my life to speak out... For the sake of the nation and its people, I earnestly request Your Majesty... to cleanse the palace, so as to reassure the people and solidify the foundation of the state!"
The words were spoken in a grand and righteous manner, every sentence seemingly for the sake of the country and its people, yet they directly pointed out that Shui Xian was morally deficient, and even implied the idea of deposing the empress.
Several officials who had a past relationship with Du Qian or whose minds were wavering echoed in hushed tones: "What Imperial Censor Du said is quite right..."
"Turbulence within the palace is certainly not a good omen..."
Many other court officials held their breath and lowered their heads, keeping their eyes down and not daring to speak out, waiting only for the emperor's reaction.
Emperor Zhaoheng listened quietly from his throne.
His face was expressionless, showing no sign of anger, but a chilling coldness gradually settled deep within his half-closed eyes.
"My Empress,"
He paused, then said, "Who are you to judge morality?"
Du Qian's hands, which were lying on the ground, began to tremble.
Emperor Zhaoheng descended the imperial steps one by one.
The dragon-patterned boots made a steady and imposing sound as they stepped on the gold brick floor.
He walked up to Du Qian and stopped.
"You say there is unrest in the palace? I think it is your hearts that are unsettled."
He looked up and glanced at the officials who had just seconded his opinion.
Those men's legs went weak instantly, and they almost collapsed to the ground.
"The matter between me and the Empress is my family matter."
Emperor Zhaoheng's voice suddenly turned stern, "When did this become your excuse to recklessly discuss state affairs and shake the foundations of the nation?!"
He stopped looking at Du Qian and turned to face the assembled civil and military officials.
"The Empress has rendered meritorious service to the country! She implemented the new policy of female officials, pioneering the education and moral education of women, which benefited women from poor families throughout the land. She rectified the palace, practiced frugality, and extended her blessings to the widowed and orphaned. Moreover, during the epidemic, she cared for the people, dispatched doctors and medicines, and saved countless lives!"
"The Empress is virtuous towards the people! She personally intervenes in any injustice and finds ways to help those in need. Every single one of these acts is praised by the people!"
His gaze was icy as he swept across the entire room.
"From this day forward, if I hear any further slander against the Empress or any unfounded speculation about her deposition, no matter who it is or what their position, they will be punished severely for sowing discord between the emperor and his ministers and undermining the foundation of the state!"
——
News of Emperor Zhaoheng's defense of her quickly reached the Lihe Palace.
When Tinglu reported in a low voice, Shuixian was watering a pot of orchids by the window.
After listening, Narcissus paused slightly in her hand holding the water jug.
Clear water flows from the spout, pouring onto the emerald green leaves of the orchid. Water droplets slide down the veins of the leaves and gather at the base.
The more he did this, the more unreservedly he protected her, and the more he elevated her to the highest position, the heavier she felt that love.
Narcissus slowly lowered the kettle.
My fingertips are icy cold.
She walked to the desk and spread out a sheet of plain paper.
It wasn't the bright yellow paper used for memorials to the emperor, but rather the most ordinary Xuan paper.
Grind the ink, pick up the brush.
This time, she neither referred to herself as "your humble servant" nor addressed him as "Your Majesty."
She picked up her pen and wrote:
Yiheng.
You have treated me kindly, and I know it deeply...
Narcissus stood by the window, her pen moving slowly yet forcefully, revealing her determination.
After an unknown amount of time, Tinglu stayed by her side, grinding ink for her. Finally, Shuixian finished her letter to Emperor Zhaoheng.
After finishing writing, Narcissus quietly looked at the densely packed words on the letter for a long time.
Then, she folded the letter, put it in a plain white envelope, and sealed it.
"Listen to the dew."
She called softly.
"Your Majesty."
“Send it to the Qianqing Palace.”
Shui Xian handed her the letter, her voice calm, “Personally deliver it to Feng Shunxiang and say… it’s a private letter to the Emperor, it doesn’t need to go through anyone else.”
Tinglu took the letter, her fingertips trembling.
She had already realized when Narcissus wrote the letter that it was a letter severing all ties with the Emperor.
"Your Majesty...you really..."
"Go."
Narcissus interrupted her, turned to look out the window, and did not look back.
With tears in her eyes, she bowed and withdrew.
Inside the hall, only Narcissus remained.
The winter sun streamed in through the window, casting dappled light and shadow on the floor.
The warmth couldn't dispel the coldness in her heart.
The letter arrived at the Qianqing Palace in less than half an hour.
The gates of the Lihe Palace were suddenly pushed open.
The force was so great that the door slammed against the wall with a dull thud.
The palace servants were so frightened that they knelt down, trembling with fear.
Emperor Zhaoheng stood at the door.
He was only wearing casual clothes, without even an outer robe, clearly having rushed over immediately after receiving the letter.
Clutching the plain white letter in his hand, his knuckles turned white from the excessive force, almost crushing the thin paper.
His face was tired and pale, clearly from not having rested well for many days, but his eyes were bloodshot and had a ferocious red tinge.
Upon entering the hall, the man's gaze was immediately fixed on the slender figure by the window in the inner room.
Narcissus slowly turned around.
She wore no makeup today, her long hair was loosely tied up, and only her obviously protruding belly added a soft and maternal glow to her whole being.
Their eyes met.
"All of you, step back."
Emperor Zhaoheng spoke, his voice hoarse.
The palace servants, as if granted a pardon, scrambled away, and the palace doors were gently closed.
Inside the hall, only the two of them remained.
Emperor Zhaoheng walked in step by step.
Shui Xian looked at him calmly. In recent days, she had come to know the methods of Emperor Zhaoheng.
Despite his defense of her in front of the court officials, Narcissus still felt suffocated by his favor.
She will bear whatever the consequences may be.
Emperor Zhaoheng walked up to the narcissus and stopped.
He looked down at her equally pale yet resolute face, at her... determined to leave him.
Suddenly, he raised his hand and threw the crumpled letter in his hand hard onto the ground!
The letter unfolded, revealing the words of farewell written by Narcissus.
"Empress!"
Emperor Zhaoheng's voice suddenly rose, filled with suppressed anger, but upon closer examination, it also revealed a vulnerability stemming from his fear of losing her.
"I only want you! I can share the entire empire with you! What more do you want?!"
Narcissus looked up, meeting his burning, pained eyes, and slowly uttered the words that had lingered in her heart for so long:
"The cage that the Emperor gave me is the most magnificent in the world."
"But I never wanted to be a canary in a cage."
She watched as his pupils contracted, and continued.
"In the first half of my life, whether in the Yi family or in the palace, I never had any freedom. Now, even in the face of wind and rain, at least I can fly away, at least my wings are my own, and the sky is my own."
Emperor Zhaoheng trembled violently!
Suddenly, he tightened his arms and pulled her tightly into his embrace!
The force was so great that it almost crushed her bones.
He lowered his head, his voice desperate and obsessive in her ear:
"What if... what if I break your wings?!"
"What if I said that your sky can only hold me?!"
"You can't go anywhere! In this life, the next life, and for all eternity, you can only stay by my side!"
Narcissus lay in his arms, tears silently streaming down her face.
She closed her eyes, letting her tears soak his clothes.
"What the emperor will get is just a withering shell."
She paused, then added the last sentence.
"Like...the deer you saw in the deer park."
The deer that gazed at the mountains and forests, its eyes filled with a deathly stillness.
That tamed, domesticated deer.
Upon hearing Shui Xian's despairing words and seeing the tears on her cheeks, Emperor Zhaoheng trembled violently, as if he were frightened by the scene she described.
He abruptly released her, staggering back a step.
Emperor Zhaoheng looked at the narcissus.
Looking at her calm yet resolute tearful eyes, and at her slightly protruding belly, I realized that this was the fourth child she had painstakingly given birth to for him!
Suddenly, he raised his head and let out a very low, suppressed, dying laugh.
The laughter was hoarse and broken, filled with endless self-mockery and... the despair of losing her.
His jaw was sharp and pointed, and at this moment, the ruthless emperor in the court found it difficult to look into the woman's eyes.
Emperor Zhaoheng closed his eyes briefly, as if that would allow him to escape completely.
He slowly turned around, his back straight, yet it seemed as if he were carrying a tremendous burden, each step difficult.
"The Empress is tired."
"Take good care of yourself and rest."
"Without my permission..."
He paused, then added the last sentence: for Narcissus, it seemed to be the final judgment, and also the heaviest shackle.
"No one... is allowed to disturb."
After saying that, he pushed open the door and went out.
Resolutely, without looking back, they disappeared into the blinding winter sunlight outside.
The palace doors slowly closed behind him.
It cut off the light, and it also cut off the freedom that the daffodil longed for most.
Narcissus stood there, looking at the tightly closed door and at the sky outside the window from which she could never fly out.
After a long while, she slowly squatted down and picked up the letter.
Carefully, little by little, I smoothed out the wrinkles.
She knew.
There are no winners in this war.
Only a lose-lose situation.
Only two broken hearts, trapped in this magnificent cage, torment each other until death!
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