Chapter 26 She did not go back that night, but lay with him
Gu Weiyi buried his head in her, his sweat soaking his clothes and sticking to her chest. He was still trembling, spitting out a word through gritted teeth: "Let's go."
Gustav drove first, and Li Wenjing helped him outside the airport. His trembling spread through her skin, spreading to her arms and legs. She wanted to run, she wanted to scream, but her legs were numb and couldn't move. Cars scurried back and forth before her, but she felt a tightness in her chest, unable to breathe. He was afraid, and so was she. The most difficult part was often the waiting time. She could hardly think straight. Only images flashed through her mind like a movie—Gustav went to the parking lot, inserted the key, started the engine, he was driving, he was coming soon, they would be stuffed into the car and taken to the hospital.
She didn't care, she would just leave. What would happen to him?
The sky was stained by rain, and the dark blue color was blurred, and then it was pitch black. Li Wenjing took a deep breath and looked up. The plane was like a twinkling star, gliding into the blackest night. She hugged the person in her arms and took a breath.
"Are you really not epileptic?"
"No--"
"Promise me you can handle it."
He looked up at her and met the smile in her eyes. Li Wenjing said, "I want to be a human trafficker too."
"Take me away."
His breath floated on her fingertips, as if grabbing her and telling her that he needed her.
Li Wenjing hailed a taxi. After the car started moving, he seemed much better, his body no longer twitching, and he leaned quietly against the seat. The dense shaggy leather cushions smelled of cigarettes, and Li Wenjing suddenly wanted to smoke a cigarette. It was just a weekend, and she had never been so crazy. She took him away, not in Gustav's car, but in a rickety car with a fume. He leaned next to her, closer than she had ever been. No matter how many questions she had in her heart, she could only suppress them at this moment. He had a deep cut on his wrist. As the taxi swayed, the toilet paper wrapped around him became very thin, and blood seeped out. Li Wenjing asked the driver to drive slower and took off his coat to stop the bleeding.
"No, help me please. Like this, pass the sleeve through...yes, tie a knot on the arm."
As he spoke, he removed the tangled pile of toilet paper. There was nowhere to throw it, and a pile of red paper piled up on his thigh, blood dripping intermittently. Li Wenjing tied the knot as he had instructed, and the bleeding finally stopped.
"Does it hurt?"
He shook his head, expressionless. Li Wenjing immediately became furious and cursed, "Idiot."
"I'm fine."
"If I don't come, you won't treat your wounds, right? Why hurt yourself... You said Death doesn't work on weekends, what are you doing?"
He still had a confused look on his face, his eyes scattered and flickering on her cheek.
"I don't know. I walked to the customs and went through security. I felt like I was numb. I didn't mean to do it. I was just shaking. I wanted to find a place to hide. I didn't want to be like this, but I was still shaking..."
He placed his other hand on his injured arm and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I tried my best, but I still caused you trouble."
"Why?" Wen Jing kept asking, "I lack you. What if I lack you forever?"
"Wenjing, you are still alive and will continue to live. You will not always lack me. There will be others to take my place."
Li Wenjing turned her head and quietly wiped away her tears. The two of them remained silent, not saying another word, each looking out the window. Passing by a pharmacy, he asked the driver to stop. Before Li Wenjing could pay, he handed over the bill, forced a smile at her, and said he needed the change for medicine.
Outside the pharmacy, a solitary vending machine stood, emitting a purple-red light. Li Wenjing bought a pack of cigarettes and stood by the doorway, smoking. Raindrops dripped from the eaves, landing on her arms and cutting through the smoke. She took off her coat, feeling a bit cold, and shivered. Gu Weiyi came out after bandaging his wound and smelled cigarette smoke, frowning.
"I'm upset." Before he could ask, Li Wenjing said, "Actually, I don't like the smell of cigarettes. They're stinky, and I especially don't like people smoking in front of me. I quit a while ago, but... I'm so annoyed. I don't know what to do."
"Smoking is bad for your health."
Li Wenjing glanced at him and said, "What about you? Is it good for your health to hide in the bathroom and cut your wrists?"
"I don't know what to do... I'm sorry..." His eyes were empty. Li Wenjing looked at him and saw the little self in his eyes. The smoke drifted towards him, confusing her mind. Their mood was the same, confused and at a loss. She hated herself like this.
"What's the point of saying sorry? What have you done to me? I'd be grateful if you didn't do anything stupid. Every time you get into trouble, your dad always comes to me. How would I know? Am I your mother?"
The words came crashing down on him, leaving him dizzy. He rubbed the medicine bag in his hands and was stunned for half a minute before saying, "You're not my mother, so there's no point for my father to look for you."
Li Wenjing felt a strange sense of regret. She hadn't realized she had taken out all her anger on Gu Weiyi. Even so, seeing him being so humble and his arm injured, she couldn't bring herself to say anything more harsh. Her anger was extinguished along with the cigarette, and she lowered her posture and tried to soften her voice.
"Okay, how are you spending tonight?"
He shook his head.
"My sofa can take you in, let's go."
"No, I'll find a hotel to stay in for the night," he said. "It's so late, I don't want to disturb your roommate."
"It's okay, Yu Di is a very nice person."
He still shook his head, and Li Wenjing didn't force him. On the way to the hotel, she checked her phone, and it was full of missed calls from Gustav. Li Wenjing suddenly realized that no matter what he was doing to avoid Gustav, he had his reasons for not wanting Yu Di to see or ask about him. Li Wenjing didn't ask, but quietly followed him upstairs. After seeing that he was settled, she sent Gustav a message to let him know he was safe.
"What did Gustav say?"
"Nothing, I just asked you something. Now you're not talking anymore. Tell me to find him after the meeting in the next few days so we can talk in person."
"I'll accompany you. If he scolds you, I'll scold him back for you."
"Really, no need. Why would you scold me?"
"You still don't know him well enough. When he gets angry with you, he won't care about being a gentleman and will just scold you to death. I don't want to affect your work. If you need anything, just tell me. Thank you for today, Wen Jing."
Li Wenjing felt her feet aching from standing. She had walked too long today. There was no place to sit in the room. His bag and coat were placed on a rattan chair by the window. The only place to sit was on the bed. She glanced at him. Gu Weiyi moved the things on the rattan chair and asked her to sit down. He sat on the opposite bed, and their knees lightly touched. Li Wenjing did not retract her foot, allowing their legs to touch so close that the touch lingered on her skin, drawing her closer and closer.
"Why don't you go back to France? Why don't you go to the hospital? Your father cares about you and has already found a doctor."
"I think people like me would just be locked up as mentally ill. They only gave me the doctor's name at the airport and told me to contact him in Paris. I had nothing to do while waiting for the flight, so I checked his position and papers. They really locked me up. I don't trust him. I have my own professional judgment."
As he spoke, he laughed. Li Wenjing didn't know whether this was true or a joke, so he kept a straight face and said nothing.
"He doesn't care about me, he just wants to control me." Gu Weiyi put away his smile, "Gustav said I have epilepsy, so I have it. I am a doctor myself, so I know how my body is doing."
"But you looked so bad, even I almost called an ambulance."
"It's different. You care about me, you respect my thoughts, you believe in me. You don't just throw me into the hospital without asking any questions. You have the final say on whether I'm sick or not."
"I want to believe you, but believing you... you've gotten yourself into this state, and it's hard for me. I don't know what I was doing. I left your dad at the airport and ran away with you, a psychopath..."
Li Wenjing choked and shed a few tears. He reached out and held her hand. Li Wenjing looked at him, trying hard to hold back her tears and snot. He took out two tissues and gave them to her.
She felt his touch was a little strange. He had touched her body before, examining her. The instrument was cold, but his palms were warm.
That night, she did not go back, but lay down with Gu Weiyi.
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