Chapter 41 Thank you for accepting me
At this time, it is three o'clock in the morning in China.
Li Wenjing stared at her phone, which was flashing back and forth, but she didn't answer it. She hadn't yet recovered from her emotions. The phone hung up after a minute, and she finally reached for it, only to find it was ringing again. She took a deep breath, exhaled, gathered her thoughts, and answered the call.
There was no outpouring of emotion as I had imagined, only silence. I said "Hello", and the other party sighed, "What's wrong with your hand?"
Xiao Qiao's voice was hoarse, and her throat seemed to be blocked by something and could not be heard clearly. Li Wenjing knew very well that she had already discussed it with Zhang Zhaochuan before making the call, and she was avoiding this matter.
"My right hand is broken, and my left hand is injured, but it hurts so much I can't lift it. I'm fine." Li Wenjing picked at the edge of the gauze. "It's hard for me to answer your call. I can't lift it up, so I have to put it on the table and use speakerphone."
"You're just trying too hard."
"It's a hard life, what else can I do?"
"You don't have to have such a hard life. Hey, isn't Dr. Gu the CEO's son? How are things going between you and him?"
"What CEO's son? He has less money in his account than I do. He's all show and no use."
Xiao Qiao spat at her through the phone, "He's such a bad guy, and he can't make money, so why don't you break up with him? You'll be unhappy if I tell you later, so just be happy for now."
"Well... he's a good guy, handsome and kind, but he has a bad temper and we haven't decided whether to be together or not. He knew I was injured, so he came to take care of me and cook for me, and even gave me his bank card. I was very touched, but..." Li Wenjing paused, "He's good in every way, except for me."
"When did you become so consumed by your own internal struggles? It's not like you. You should make money whenever you can and take advantage whenever you can. I understand why young people don't like to get married these days. Maybe they just play with handsome guys for a while, and if that doesn't work out, they'll move on to the next one. That's fine."
"How could that be? Am I that kind of person?"
Xiao Qiao still said in a joking tone, "So you're not."
Li Wenjing could only sigh and said seriously, "I've never felt so tired. So many things have happened. I feel like my body is broken. I'm so tired. I also want to glue myself together and have a more stable relationship. I will talk to him carefully. Dating, dating, there are always endless things to talk about. It's too tiring to talk seriously. If the two of us want to keep going, I don't know how many times we have to talk."
As she spoke, Li Wenjing looked toward Yu Di's bedroom. Hanging by the doorway was a large red "Fu" character, placed there last New Year's Eve. The red paper wobbled, a corner falling off, like a trapped love. It was about to leave, and you had to tear it off and replace it with someone new. Finally, Li Wenjing spoke about what she cared about most. "I can't give myself completely to him. I'm afraid of losing him suddenly. I'd be devastated."
"It's all the same, whether it's dating or marriage, everyone eventually drifts apart," Xiao Qiao said. "I haven't seen you in a while. I'm going to take all my annual leave tomorrow and come to see you, Wenjing. I don't know what to do either. My first thought was divorce. I called him, and he..."
Xiao Qiao also sighed, "Let's talk about it after I get here. I feel that I haven't cared enough about him in the past two years. I asked him for a divorce. Wen Jing, I'm not afraid of you laughing at me. I don't want a divorce. Can you understand my thoughts?"
"You want a divorce, but your mother won't be able to get past her. Doesn't your mother like him very much?"
"Yeah, my mom would just say it was a big deal going out, and he would admit his mistake. My dad passed away when I was a kid, and it's been many years since he left. My mom never remarried, and I don't know how she managed it. She just wanted someone to take care of me. I don't think she loved Brother Chuan that much, but it was mainly to reassure my mom."
"Hmm? Find a boyfriend for your mom?"
Xiao Qiao laughed out loud. "Finding a stepfather is fine! To be honest, I still have a house loan to pay off, which is really troublesome. I have to come over and sort things out."
When Li Wenjing slept at night, the pain in her arm traveled throughout the nerves of her body. The pain was transferring, and the sheets under her back covered her as she tossed and turned. Until Gu Weiyi came back, saw her sweating profusely, and gave her painkillers, Li Wenjing said "it hurts" while burying her head in his chest. He hugged her and said some comforting words. The pain in her body slowly subsided, but the sore muscles seemed not to have completely subsided, but were numb from the excessive pain.
Gu Weiyi apologized to her and explained that he had told Yu Di the news of her boyfriend's death. She had been calling him to ask about it, so he felt that he should tell her, and told her everything.
"It's okay. It's better you said it. I've been busy these days, and I can't handle Yu Di's affairs. Xiao Qiao is coming over too. Do you remember what they said about health care? You can't control yourself, so you're lucky not to have any illnesses." Li Wenjing raised her head and looked into his eyes. "These days, since sleeping with you in the hotel, I've thought a lot. Although we didn't ask what our relationship was because we didn't dare to make promises to each other, I'm afraid that you'll die one day, and I'm afraid too. I'll be very sad, just like Yu Di. Can you bear it?"
Li Wenjing touched his cheek, as if to confirm an answer. He kissed the palm of her hand, resting his tall nose against it. The wound under the bandage was aching slightly. He was still thinking, and she had a lot to say.
"I know you won't. You're kind. Even if you want to drive the car into a pile of lions, just think about me and don't go. I just don't know if this is really good for you. Are you still in pain every day? Even when you smile at me, I wonder if you're pretending to be happy. I'm not your medicine. Even if I like you and love you, I can't save you. Your father, little Philip... these are the sources of your pain. Without me, you can be free whenever you want. Am I dragging you through this suffering, like your father, forcing what I think is good for you on you? Tell me clearly if this is the case. Don't make me read the air and guess. I'm used to being straightforward. If you don't say it, I don't know what you're thinking."
"No, I'm really happy with you. I don't have that kind of thought."
"real?"
He nodded again and again. "I feel like I owe you a lot. I can't respond to you with normal emotions. I'm not good enough to you. I always make you worry about me, and I might even hurt you. But I can't leave you. I want to be with you. If I'm not with you, holding you and kissing you, I can't feel the real world. It's you who accepted me and gave me a warm place to live, but at the same time I know that this is unfair to you. A good girl like you deserves a happy life and someone better."
He didn't deny his pain. Li Wenjing felt like she was a painkiller, temporarily suppressing the pain. The wound remained, and she didn't know when it would heal. She looked at her injured hand, as if there was hope again. He kissed her face, comforting her with the warmth of his lips. She didn't say anything. At this moment, the world was just her and him, a woman and a man, a pair of kissing lips.
Of course, she still loved him, and she was willing to continue accepting him on behalf of the world. Feelings in the world are illogical; those deeply in love will leave, their feelings will fade, but the feelings she had at this moment were real. Perhaps there's no such thing as eternal love, but at least at this moment, she loved him, and he loved her. On another note, she'd imagine that if they hadn't met in Africa, perhaps they would never have met. He was still a mentally healthy person, hadn't experienced those things, and had a healthy family. He was the son of an oil company CEO, and he grew up in Paris; she was the daughter of a farmer in the village, and she grew up in the countryside. Perhaps love itself requires these "abnormal" factors. Or rather, love itself is abnormal, a lack of mental madness, an uncontrollable twitch. If people in love are abnormal, then he shouldn't be in a mental hospital. There are many abnormal things in this world.
Li Wenjing told him all her thoughts, but he just laughed, thinking she was crazy too. She couldn't be that crazy, and he couldn't drag her down with him.
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