Chapter 50: By the age of 30, I had become desensitized to sleeping with men
After Gu Weiyi left, Li Wenjing suddenly lost contact with him, as if he had never appeared, even though he finally told her to contact him anytime if she needed any help. If it were anyone else, she would have just taken it as a polite remark. He was a sincere man, and Li Wenjing knew that if she told him everything about her, he would definitely find a way to help her. However, as he said, he didn't want Li Wenjing to sympathize with him, and Li Wenjing felt the same way.
His toothbrush and towel were still in the bathroom, traces of his life there, everything was there, except for him. Li Wenjing knew she might not see him again for a long time. Washing her face, brushing her teeth, smearing dry bread with jam, going to work, every day was like this, a life without waves. She was a dead body, shuttling between the rental house and the workplace. All the things she had experienced, whether Gu Weiyi was there or not, left no trace on her.
Qingqing was discharged from the hospital, and they went to pick her up and prepare to go home. Li Wenjing was also going back. Before leaving, Li Wenjing and Xiao Qiao went to the bar for a drink, and agreed that he would accompany her to the bar to look at handsome guys.
The seaside bar is frequented by tourists from all over the world all year round. Maybe there are good-looking men that Xiao Qiao wants to see. They come here to seek excitement and flirt under the colorful lights. They won’t ask whether you are single or not. It’s that simple.
"Is Doctor Gu coming back? He just left like that?"
"I don't know. If Yu Di was here, she would definitely say that all foreign men are like this, getting hurt and disappearing at the slightest provocation."
The two were drinking in a bar, near the sea. The dark blue waves crashed against them in the night, and the breeze was cool. As they sipped, a familiar figure appeared on the beach. It was Mutasha, followed by two young men in their twenties, fresh out of the water, surfboards in hand. Before they could greet him, Mutasha called out to them and approached with the two men. They were both Europeans, on vacation in Africa, and Mutasha's job was to guide tourists.
Li Wenjing joked, "Isn't he dating women? Why are he bringing tourists?" He joked back, saying he was free to date them now, free of charge, and even bringing two other people along. He then turned around and asked the two men if they'd like to accompany the two ladies, and they greeted Li Wenjing.
Mutasha ordered a table next to them, making it a single table. Li Wenjing had wanted to ask Xiao Qiao over a drink that evening whether she was getting a divorce or not, and how her conversation with Brother Chuan went, but seeing how they were having fun, she let it go. The two men asked them where they were from and offered to buy them a drink. Xiao Qiao smiled and chatted with them, and they praised her beauty.
Mutasha sat next to Li Wenjing and asked Gu Weiyi if he had broken up with her. He had seen him in the bar two days ago. He had a beard and uncut hair, sitting there drinking alone.
"It's right here in this bar. It's no different for you all to come and drink," Mutasha said. "Don't break up. Just stay together."
"We had a fight and we still couldn't understand each other."
"How can people understand each other? Men, do you understand your girlfriends?"
They both shook their heads, saying that girlfriends were the hardest thing to understand. One man's girlfriend was obsessed with astrology and had saved for a year to travel to a small Pacific island before her birthday, claiming she could change her destiny there. They had a fight over this; he didn't want to accompany her to that desolate island. Another man's girlfriend had three boyfriends, and while he liked her, he felt he was jealous of another fifty-three-year-old "boy," which made everyone at the table laugh. Xiao Qiao listened and complained to him that she was already married, her husband was out soliciting prostitutes, and she was still considering divorce, while his girlfriend already had three boyfriends.
"That's how it is," Mutasha poured Li Wenjing some wine. "Not only do people not understand each other, but most relationships are fragile. Marriage is a constraint. If marriage can no longer bind two people together, the only option is divorce."
"Are you married?"
"No, at this table, ah! Joe, you're the only one married!"
Xiao Qiao complained, "I'm stupid, that's why I got married."
"Come, let's toast to this brave woman!"
Several people raised their glasses to toast her. After this round of drinking, Xiao Qiao's face flushed and she looked a little drunk, but she kept smiling and wanted to drink more. Li Wenjing tried to persuade her not to drink anymore, but she suddenly burst into tears. The two boys around her took turns to persuade her, but it didn't stop. Li Wenjing apologized to them, sat down next to Xiao Qiao, and hugged her.
Xiao Qiao was drunk. He kissed and hugged Li Wenjing, and rubbed her breasts with his hands. As he rubbed them, he said, "Luca, your breasts are so big."
"Hey, you've drunk too much, stop rubbing it, it hurts!"
Li Wenjing patted her face, and she opened her eyes dazedly. She was drunk, so Li Wenjing took her home.
"Go away, I want Luca to hold me!"
"Where's Luca? He left early."
She suddenly fell silent, staring at the chandelier, her eyes barely blinking. Her mouth, which had been talkative since the evening, was now completely silent. Li Wenjing joked that if she really missed Luca, she would call him. She waved her hands, then finally blinked, saying she was thirsty and wanted some water.
Li Wenjing poured her a glass of water. After drinking it, it was as if a dried-up river came back to life. She began to talk eloquently again, starting from her childhood, how her father died of a sudden heart attack, how her mother cried, it rained that day, and classmates came to see him, one of the classmates' umbrella was so rotten that it couldn't be closed, she kept wanting to laugh when looking at the umbrella, she didn't react yet that her father was really gone, until everyone left and she was alone in the room, she finally realized that her father was gone and started crying. She was a fool, slow to do many things, and it was also reflected in what she said, like a ring-tailed snake, from childhood to college, talking about Li Wenjing's parents, and how she once sold eggs to pay for her father's surgery, going around in circles and back to her childhood.
She asked Li Wenjing if the egg retrieval was particularly painful, a question she'd asked several times. Li Wenjing said it was very painful and she had to take medication. She didn't know which was more painful, the miscarriage or the other. She couldn't stand the pain and ran away. Xiao Qiao and Zhang Zhaochuan pooled the money and lent her money. Li Wenjing said that if they hadn't lent her the money, she would definitely have a child by now. In another family, she would call her mom and dad and be in elementary school. The family that could afford to sell her eggs must be wealthy, and she might have lived a happy life. Maybe she would look like her, a little girl who had never experienced poverty.
Xiao Qiao laughed heartily. She kept avoiding talking about Zhang Zhaochuan, going over and over again about her life over the past thirty years. Without him, it seemed as if nothing was missing. Finally, she asked Li Wenjing, "Should I get a divorce?"
"This is your business, your marriage. No matter how much you tell me, I don't know what you think," said Li Wenjing.
"I've talked to him about it, and he doesn't want a divorce. He even gave me a card to buy me a car! You know I can't get a divorce either. I was planning to find someone to hang out with today and tell him tomorrow that I cheated on him too, so we're even."
Li Wenjing said, "There's no need for that. Sleeping with someone, having a one-night stand, what if you get sick? You have to be careful."
"What do you mean it's unnecessary? Luca is so handsome!" She continued to smile. "He doesn't want a divorce. I'll go back and find a lawyer. Anyway, I'll think of a solution. Oh, by the way, give me your phone. I want to see if you've sent me a message."
On the day they returned, Luca even came to help them carry their luggage and sent them to the airport. Xiao Qiao kissed him goodbye, and he said he would go see her when he had the chance.
Xiao Qiao seemed in high spirits. Li Wenjing asked if they would see each other again. She said she didn't know, it was just a way to relax during the trip. They went out for drinks, and he cooked for her in their rented apartment. He was very nice and handsome. Maybe open relationships meant not caring about so much. Xiao Qiao said that women in middle age, especially those who have been married for a long time, were shy in their twenties, but by thirty they were desensitized to sleeping with men. They slept when the mood struck them, as if there was no real love, no future, even if they didn't understand each other.
Li Wenjing said it was just desire, maybe she was the one being deceived, and he only wanted to sleep with her. She said she also had desires for men, and that desires needed an outlet to release them. She and Dr. Gu broke up because they were not harmonious. They quarreled, but there was no principled mistake. As they say, quarrels at the head of the bed are reconciled at the foot of the bed. They kissed and hugged each other and forgave each other.
Li Wenjing was speechless after what she said. She really didn't have much to say about Gu Weiyi's affairs.
"Is that so?"
"Don't mention him, the most important thing is my mother."
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