Chapter 51: Steal, rob, sell yourself, do whatever it takes to survive
The hospital was packed with people. The smell of disinfectant wafted through the sound of people's footsteps and hit Li Wenjing's ears all at once. She felt an indescribable panic and she silently moved forward.
Until she met her mother in person, Li Wenjing still had an illusion - Qingqing lied to her to coax her to go back and clean up the mess. If her mother was really so ill, how could she bear to let Wenjun come out?
But she didn't expect that what Qingqing said was true, and Wenjun was still a child who hadn't grown up. At home, he relied on his mother, and when his mother left, he was the one she was most worried about. That child needed a new mother.
My mother was in a three-person ward, with two elderly women next to her. One was lying silently, while the other was receiving an IV drip. A cell phone was playing a drama next to her. The lines sounded like mechanical voices, and the music and drum beats were shouting and floating above the ward, above the heads of the three thin women.
My mother was curled up in the corner, her hair was almost gone, and she was thinner, like Qiu Qianchi in the TV series I saw when I was a child. Her arms were covered with red needle spots. Li Wenjing looked at her for a long time before she saw any familiar features on her face.
Li Wenjing called out "Mom" several times before she half opened her eyes and looked at Li Wenjing without saying a word or blinking. She stared at her for half a minute.
"Mom, I'm back."
Li Wenjing squatted down to check the urinal under the bed when her hand suddenly grabbed her, as strong as if it were wrapped around a branch. Li Wenjing shuddered and looked up at her mother. Her mother's eyes widened, completely recognizing Li Wenjing. To anyone who saw her, she looked like a dying person, desperately grasping at anything she could, even a straw. No matter how hard she tried, it was only a last gasp.
Her lips trembled, as if she was calling her. Li Wenjing comforted her and said, "Mom, I'll stay with you today."
"Wen...Wen...Jing...take good care..."
As she listened, Li Wenjing realized something was wrong. She was not calling her, but Wenjun.
Li Wenjing sat on the edge of the bed, with her back to her. She ignored what she said and said to her, "Mom, I know. You are talking about Junjun and want me to take good care of him."
The hand holding her arm slowly loosened, Li Wenjing stood up and asked her if she wanted to eat. She nodded first, then shook her head.
"Well, drink some water, huh?"
Li Wenjing fed her some water and then covered her with a blanket.
"Mom, I know you're the strongest. All the women in our family are like that. My grandma used to have no food to eat, so she picked up stones and wild vegetables. She did whatever she could to survive. You took me to sell vegetables and pick fruit, and even sold my hair. Without you, my dad is nothing. He doesn't like you, doesn't love you, and has the worst personality. He doesn't dare to say a word outside, but at home he beats the chickens and scolds the dogs. And you still fight with him. You're amazing."
Mom didn't move, her eyes closed, and she didn't know if she was listening to Li Wenjing. She continued, "I remember when you were little, you went out to work in a stationery factory. You came back and brought me an eraser with a basketball on it. You never gave me anything, so I loved it. But you brought Junjun lots of pens, and the luxury pencil sharpener I wanted most. It was shaped like a little house, and it wouldn't break even when you sharpened a pencil. Mom, you treat me like this, don't you? I'm just like you, I can survive by stealing, robbing, or even selling my body. The men in the family are the most useless."
Li Wenjing looked out the window and saw a bald patch on the wire on the telephone pole. Li Wenjing stared at the bald patch and tears slowly fell.
"It's okay, Mom. You don't have to think about it anymore."
Li Wenjing understood what Xiao Qiao told her - she didn't feel sad during the funeral, as people's sadness would dull. Until her mother was really carried up the mountain and left, she was alone at home when she suddenly felt a pain that slowly spread from her heart, like the pain of a broken bone in slow motion, like a blunt knife slowly cutting her heart.
Two years ago, the family built a new home on the homestead. The original mud house was gone, the TV was replaced, the big tree in front of the door was cut down, and a road was built. Li Wenjing found that there was nothing familiar in the house anymore. She was completely lost. The people and things in the past had all disappeared. They were still alive, but they were just living out of inertia, living according to their past memories. If even the memories were lost, she felt that she could no longer stay in this place.
Before dawn, she had already packed her luggage. Her father and brother were both asleep. He had told her to sell the vegetables yesterday. Li Wenjing thought about it and left only a note with a bank card with $50,000 in it.
"The password is my birthday."
She deleted her father and brother and left with her suitcase.
She returned to Africa. In Africa, at least she could still work and survive, while the past remained in her hometown, vanishing along with the traces of her mother's birth. She felt she rarely felt her mother's presence until she passed away. The tranquility she had felt in the hospital ward that day was shattered. She felt pain, starting in her stomach and spreading throughout her body, perhaps a reverberation of her mother's presence. With the intense abdominal pain, Li Wenjing went to the hospital for a uterine examination. The doctor said there was nothing wrong, just some vaginal inflammation, common at her age. She would be fine with some medication and proper hygiene.
Qingqing contacted her online once, asking on Junjun's behalf, and she simply said she had left home and wasn't going back. After just a few words, Qingqing said she understood and would explain to Junjun.
Li Wenjing couldn't help but think of Gu Weiyi again. In this obviously normal body, she had unexplained abdominal pain, just like his tics. They were diseases that could not be diagnosed but were definitely lingering in the body. It was like fragments of the past embedded in the flesh, and the wounds were repeatedly inflamed, like the body's instinctive reaction to pain after swallowing the bitter fruit.
After plugging in her Kenyan phone card, the first thing that popped up were dozens of missed calls, all from Gu Weiyi. She called him back immediately, but couldn't get through. She couldn't reach him anywhere. Li Wenjing didn't know where he was, perhaps Congo. He'd changed his phone number, and he hadn't sent her a message in days. Coincidentally, Gustav called her, saying he couldn't reach Gu Weiyi either. Li Wenjing asked him where Gu Weiyi was, but Gustav said it wasn't clear over the phone and asked her to speak out.
He was very pressed for time, so they agreed to meet at the energy company's coffee bar. Li Wenjing didn't order any coffee, but went straight to the point and asked where Gu Weiyi had been.
"Please accept my condolences about your mother," he said. "Charles came to see me once before he left. He said you two had broken up and he wanted to find you, but he was hesitant about whether to call you. He thought he had to ask his father for help with things like pursuing girls."
Gustav smiled and said, "I asked him to call you, but he didn't get through."
"I'm in China, busy with my mother's funeral."
"I'm sorry, I only found out about your mother's death later, and Charles didn't know about it either. I was just telling you for him that he didn't go to Congo, but is still in Kenya."
"What about the others?" Li Wenjing asked hurriedly, leaning forward slightly.
Gustav stirred his coffee, the smile gone from his face. "Before, I always asked you for help, but I didn't expect that now I'm the one helping you. He still loves you. What about you?"
"Of course, so I have to know where he is."
Gustav nodded. "He's not in Mombasa anymore. He's in the north. Have you seen the news?"
"civil war?"
"There are many more refugees in Kenya now, all gathered in one small town. It's very dangerous there. I didn't try to persuade him. I've never been able to persuade him in such matters."
"You mean..."
Li Wenjing's stomach started to ache again. She held her forehead with one hand and her stomach with the other. Gustav took a handkerchief from his breast pocket and stood up to wipe the sweat off Li Wenjing's face. She pushed his hand away.
"You mean there's no news from him?"
He didn't answer, but just lowered his eyes. Li Wenjing questioned him again, and he nodded slightly, as if his stiff head was hanging on his stiff neck, and it would roll to her feet if he moved.
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