Chapter 102 "My lover is still waiting for me to come home."
When a cold knife cuts a blood vessel, it actually doesn't hurt at all.
In other words, that slight sharp feeling is not worth mentioning at all compared to the severe pain of the burning drug.
Lin Che's consciousness was strangely withdrawn at the moment the blood spurted out. A second before he fell to the ground, he subconsciously touched the hot liquid gushing out from the side of his neck. The bright red blood not only dyed Lu Chi's horrified and distorted face red, but also reflected Lu Yu's bloodshot eyes.
In a sleepy first-year graduate school psychoanalysis class, the gray-haired professor, pushing up his glasses, spoke calmly about the critical point of schizophrenia: "One thought can turn you into a demon, one thought can turn you into a Buddha. It's not a choice, but a stumble on the edge of the abyss, the soul's unbearable collapse under extreme pressure."
At that time he thought the description was too literary, but now he finally understood.
The moment he saw Lu Yu kneeling on the ground with his knees bent, the string called "reason" in his mind broke with a clang.
It's not a choice, it's instinct.
It was a madness that was more powerful than drugs and could even destroy everything that drove him to make the most brutal counterattack - using his broken life to defend Lu Yu's pride that could not be trampled upon.
“Lu Yu…” Lin Che wanted to shout, but only more blood foam came out of his throat, and he made a hoarse and broken sound.
"Brother! Lu Yu——!"
Lu Chi, who was pinned to the ground by the special police, let out a shrill scream that was not like a human voice when he saw Lu Yu vomiting blood and falling down, which instantly pierced all the noise in the room.
He began to struggle and twist frantically, ignoring the severe pain of his locked joints, trying to break free from the restraints and pounce towards Lu Yu.
"Brother! What's wrong with you?! Brother! Wake up!!" Lu Chi roared desperately, his face full of tears mixed with blood, looking hideous and terrifying.
The twisted pleasure of being in control of everything just now disappeared without a trace, leaving only overwhelming panic.
He had ruined Lin Che, and now even his brother...
"It wasn't me! Brother! It wasn't me! He bumped into me! It was him!!" Lu Chi's face was pressed to the ground in a mess, and his incoherent excuses only made him seem more crazy.
"Shut up! Behave!" The SWAT officer who was pinning him down shouted, pressing his knee harder into his spine, almost suffocating him.
Lin Che felt himself being moved carefully and swiftly, the cold oxygen mask pressed against his face, the sharp pain in his neck replaced by an even stronger numbness. Various tubes were connected to his body, and icy liquid once again flowed into his veins.
He lay lifeless on the stretcher, his chaotic thoughts making it impossible for him to focus. When the adrenaline was injected into his body, he regained a brief clarity of mind and wanted to turn his head to look for Lu Yu, but... he was very tired... very tired.
“Brother…Brother…” Lu Chi’s desperate cries grew farther and farther away. He was roughly dragged up, his bloodshot eyes fixed on Lin Che’s pale face and the thick gauze on his neck that was still oozing blood.
At that moment, the madness, fear, grievance, resentment... all the intense emotions on Lu Chi's face disappeared like the tide, leaving only a complete, dead emptiness.
He stared blankly in the direction of Lu Yu, his lips moving silently, as if he was calling "Brother", or as if he was muttering to himself.
Lu Chi pursued "love" in a twisted way for half his life, but it was finally completely destroyed in front of him in such a tragic way, and he himself fell into an abyss of no return.
He won?
No, it's actually the critical point of mental illness.
He had already buried all the ways of turning back with his own hands at the bottom of the abyss.
“Become a demon… become a Buddha…” The professor’s words echoed faintly in Lin Che’s remaining consciousness.
He felt that he was on neither side, he just... exchanged his lover's dignity for the most clumsy and tragic price.
The cold blue light of the ambulance spun before his eyes, and Lin Che's consciousness completely sank into endless darkness.
Everything was over, and gradually became blurred and faded away in the shrill sound.
———
Three years later.
Outside the window was the bright sunshine, a seldom seen in London, which shone through the tall Gothic windowsill onto the thick piles of documents that Lin Che was sorting through.
"Brother Che...are you planning to return home?" A younger junior fellow student came over with a pile of books in his arms. Seeing the packed box on Lin Che's desk, his eyes widened in surprise.
Lin Che was a legend in their department, with top-notch academic ability, and his instructor wished he could be tied to the lab.
Lin Che was looking down at her phone screen, a gentle smile playing on her lips. A message from Lu Jinshu had just appeared on the screen: "This is the result of my brother's checkup today. The doctor said his condition is much more stable. I didn't tell him the specific date you were going to return home." It was followed by an emoji of a man covering his mouth with his hands and laughing.
Hearing his junior brother's question, Lin Che raised his head, his eyebrows curved, and the smile in his eyes reached the bottom of his eyes. "Yes, maybe... I will leave next month, as soon as the defense is over."
"You... aren't you going to stay?" The junior brother put down the book, his tone full of disbelief and regret, "That joint research project at Hopkins was something your advisor had to work so hard to get for you! So many people are trying their best to get in! This opportunity is too rare! If you stay, your academic future..." He gestured excitedly, as if Lin Che was giving up the vast sea of stars that was within reach.
Lin Che listened patiently to the end of his speech, his smile not wavering at all, but deepening. He lowered his head, his fingertips lightly swiping across the screen of his phone, and glanced again at the message from Lu Jinshu about his "stable condition."
He placed the last piece of information into the box and closed the lid, making a slight click. He raised his head, looked at his puzzled junior brother with clear eyes, and said clearly, word by word:
"My love is still waiting for me to come home."
The junior brother was stunned, clearly not expecting this answer. He looked at the unfeigned happiness and confidence on Lin Che's face and subconsciously asked, "Lover? Are you...are you married?" In his impression, this senior brother was always low-key; he had never heard him talk about love.
"certainly."
The smile on Lin Che's lips deepened. He stretched out his left hand, his slender fingers looking exceptionally clean in the sunlight.
On the ring finger, a simple yet lustrous ring sparkles.
Lin Che didn't say anything else, but just gently turned the ring, as if she could feel the body temperature and heartbeat of another person transmitted from the other side of the ocean.
————
Lin Che, dressed in a well-tailored light grey suit, stood before the French windows of the East China Medical University School of Medicine. Outside the window lay the lush green campus, where young students hurried by, books clutched in their arms, a scene brimming with life.
He wore a badge with the words "Professor Lin Che" on his chest. This medical school with a profound history welcomed one of its youngest full professors.
His office is simple and bright. In addition to the necessary office equipment and bookshelves filled with professional books, the most eye-catching thing is the pot of vibrant green ivy on the windowsill - it was the "housewarming gift" that Lu Jinshu gave him on his first day at work, saying that it can purify the air and also purify the mood.
Everything seems to be on track.
Teaching, researching, supervising graduate students... Lin Che's life was busy and fulfilling.
The scar that ran across the side of his neck, whose color had faded a lot, was neatly concealed under a high-necked shirt or a thin silk scarf, becoming a secret medal that only he knew about.
Only when it was late at night and everyone was asleep, or when he occasionally caught a glimpse of it in the mirror, would the blood-stained memory briefly invade him, and then he would force it down.
The separation across the ocean was like a blunt knife, slowly cutting for three years. Through Lu Jinshu, he carefully followed Lu Yu's recovery progress.
Every time he heard the news of "stable condition", his tense nerves relaxed a little, but it was also accompanied by deeper anxiety.
He didn't dare contact Lu Yu directly, fearing he would become the source of irritation and ruin his efforts. He poured all his thoughts and worries into his studies and work, using almost self-abuse busyness to fill the void in his heart.
Now, he is back and standing closest to him, but there is still an invisible barrier between them and he dare not touch him easily.
————
At the same time, in the president's office on the top floor of Lu Group.
The bustling city skyline appeared outside the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, but a cold, almost suffocating silence permeated the room. The faint smell of tobacco lingered in the air.
Lu Yu stood in front of the window with a half-burned cigarette between his fingers. The ashtray on the desk was already full of cigarette butts.
Cheng Yi walked in with some documents that needed to be signed urgently. When he saw this scene, he paused.
Mr. Lu had changed a lot in the past few years. His once sharp, all-controlling aura had faded, replaced by a bottomless calm.
Lu Yu completely turned into a frozen volcano, calm on the surface but no one could see inside.
In the past three years, the Lu family has reached an unprecedented peak under his iron fist. Every decision he makes is precise, ruthless and impeccable.
The psychiatrist's follow-up report also showed that his PTSD symptoms had been greatly alleviated, and flashbacks and breakdowns almost no longer occurred.
But Cheng Yi knew that something was different.
Mr. Lu spoke less and less, his eyes became darker and darker, and he smoked more and more...
Cheng Yi gently placed the document on the large desk and broke the silence: "Mr. Lu, this is the final agreement for cooperation with Jingyuan. The legal department has reviewed it and needs your signature."
Lu Yu didn't turn around, but just said "hmm" lightly, his voice a little hoarse.
Cheng Yi hesitated as he watched Lu Yu's silent back. That fleeting glimpse he'd had this afternoon when he'd gone to East China Medical University to discuss a joint laboratory project... the more he thought about it, the more it looked like him. Although he knew the possibility was slim, as a close confidant of Mr. Lu's for so many years, Cheng Yi felt the need to speak up.
He carefully considered his words and spoke, "Mr. Lu... there's one more thing. This afternoon I went to East China University of Medical Sciences to discuss a project, and when I came out... I seemed... I seemed to see Mr. Lin."
"Which Mr. Lin?"
The moment he asked this question, Lu Yu froze.
Who else could it be, “Mr. Lin”?
The air seemed to freeze in an instant.
This name is like a forbidden spell buried deep under the frozen soil, and no one dares to touch it easily.
For three years, he forced himself not to think about it, not to ask questions, not to inquire about any news. He filled himself with work, treatment, and a near-self-destructive silence, just to abide by the agreement of "separation" and not to become an obstacle to the other person's recovery.
Lu Yu's fingers holding the cigarette trembled violently, and the burning ash fell down, burning his expensive custom-made trousers and leaving a tiny burn mark, but he was completely unaware of it.
He thought he had built a high enough wall in his heart to withstand any disturbance regarding "Lin Che".
Lu Yu stared at Cheng Yi, waiting for an answer, but also seemed to be afraid of that answer.
Cheng Yi's heart trembled at Lu Yu's gaze, and he quickly added, "I only saw a silhouette from a distance, over at the medical school building. He was wearing formal attire, and his temperament... was very similar. It's also possible that I was mistaken. After all, Mr. Lin..."
"East China Medical University..." Lu Yu repeated these words, crushing the cigarette butt completely in the ashtray, his fingertips turning slightly white.
He didn't ask any further questions and didn't say anything.
In fact, Cheng Yi had long been clearly aware that that name and that person had never left Mr. Lu's heart.
Even for a minute or a second.
Lu Yu took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down, trying to suppress the throbbing in his chest that almost tore him apart.
The shadow of PTSD was like an icy hand, trying to strangle him by the throat, reminding him of the tragedy of the past and the original intention of separation.
He couldn't lose control, couldn't...scare him.
Lu Yu turned around and walked to the desk. He picked up a pen and calmly signed his name on the document Cheng Yi had put down. "Got it." His voice returned to its usual low and calm tone, without any ripples. "The project is proceeding as planned."
Cheng Yi took the document and looked at President Lu's seemingly calm face, but he felt that the atmosphere in the office became more solemn.
He knew that something was different.
Lu Yu sat back in the large leather chair, his eyes falling on his empty ring finger.
When they separated, he took off the ring and locked it in the deepest part of the drawer.
Lu Yu lit another cigarette, his fingers trembling uncontrollably, his red eyes blurred by the smoke.
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