Chapter 79 "I fell in love with him, Lin Yao."
"You better explain to me clearly what 'marriage by agreement' means!" Lin Yao practically dragged Lin Che into the lounge and slammed the door shut.
Lin Yao's chest heaved with anger, his face a mixture of unbelievable anger and disappointment at being deceived. "I f*cking thought you'd found true love! Looking at you and Lu Yu like that, I was so happy for you! Turns out it was all fake?! Acted out?!"
Lin Che stood by the window with his back to Lin Yao, his body tense like a bow stretched to its limit.
He looked down at his hand. When he had pinched Lin Yang's neck just now, his knuckles had been scratched by the other party's struggle. Tiny beads of blood were oozing out, and the hand was trembling uncontrollably.
"Speak!" Lin Yao's voice rose. "Are you mute?! Weren't you quite talkative to Lin Yang just now?! What marriage agreement? What signed a contract in black and white?! Is what that mad dog Lin Yang said true?!"
Lin Che's shoulders trembled violently. He turned slowly, his face devoid of the panic or excuses Lin Yao had expected. His eyes had become dull and lifeless.
"yes."
"What?" Lin Yao seemed not to have heard clearly. He turned around and stared blankly at Lin Che who had her back to him.
"It's true," Lin Che repeated, his voice lowered, a kind of numbness that seemed to have given up. "Lu Yu and I signed a three-year marriage agreement. We each get what we need and don't interfere with each other. The relationship will be automatically terminated at the end of the term."
"Each takes what he needs? Doesn't interfere with each other?"
Lin Yao repeated these cold words, feeling that it was absurd to the extreme, and a surge of anger rushed to his head.
"So what about all that so-called affection you've been showing these days? Those looks, those interactions, that... that fucking sweetness?! Was it all fake?! Acted for all of us?! Lin Che, are you taking me for a fool?!"
Lin Yao's questioning lashed at Lin Che like a whip. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, an extremely complex emotion surged deep within them.
Painful and embarrassing.
"At first... it was fake." Lin Che's voice was extremely hoarse, and every word seemed to be forced out from the depths of his throat. "The contract is real, and the agreement is also real."
He paused, his gaze somewhat unfocused as he fell on the cold metal cabinet in the lounge.
"but……"
His Adam's apple rolled violently, and his voice suddenly took on an imperceptible tremor, "But later... it wasn't anymore."
Lin Yao's anger was choked by this sudden turn of events. He stared at Lin Che, waiting for what would happen next.
Lin Che took a deep breath, turned around, raised his head, and looked directly into Lin Yao's eyes.
"I fell in love with him, Lin Yao."
Lin Che's voice was not loud, but it exploded like thunder in the small lounge, carrying a resolute and unquestionable determination.
"That agreement has long since become a piece of waste paper! I've been fucking in love with Lu Yu for a long time! I love him so much...that even I'm scared!"
Lin Che raised her head and looked directly into Lin Yao's eyes. Those eyes, which had been dull and lifeless just moments before, now seemed to be ablaze with deep flames, seething with intense, inextricable emotions and a hint of long-buried, almost humble bitterness.
He looked at the astonishment that froze on Lin Yao's face for a moment, and took a deep breath, as if he wanted to pour out the secrets that had been accumulated for many years in one breath.
"Do you remember when you asked me if I wanted to fall in love since I was so tired? What did I answer you then?"
Lin Che's lips curved into an extremely bitter smile. There was no warmth in that smile, only endless sorrow. "I said, I'm so tired, even life requires a struggle, how dare I have the courage to have love?"
He paused, "Lu Yu..."
Lin Che's voice deepened, "...that person who was once so unattainable to me."
"Out of reach?" Lin Yao muttered repeatedly, the anger in his heart being shattered. The lingering aura of pain from Lin Che seemed to infect him as well.
The Lin Che he knew was proud, forbearing, and even a little indifferent. Had he ever been so... almost humble?
"When I was just a poor student in medical school struggling for scholarships and tuition, he was already standing on top of the world. The heir of the Lu family, a child of destiny, he was the center of attention wherever he went. And what about me?"
Lin Che laughed self-deprecatingly, a smile uglier than tears. "Who am I? A burden who only survived starvation thanks to the little charity from the Lin family."
His fingers curled up unconsciously, and a little blood oozed out of the wound on his knuckles, but he was completely unaware.
"The gap is too big. I feel like it's a blasphemy to even get close to him. His world is beyond my reach even if I stand on tiptoe and try my best. All I can do is watch from afar and then continue to bury my head in work, memorize books, and deal with the troubles of the Lin family."
Lin Che's voice was eerily calm, but beneath that calmness lay a turbulent undercurrent. "Like him? I don't even dare to think about that. It's too extravagant and too unrealistic. That's not the kind of delusion someone like me, struggling in the mire, should have."
Lin Yao was completely silent.
He looked at Lin Che and for the first time saw so clearly the unknown fragility and repression hidden deep beneath his brother's hard shell.
That deep, desperate crush was so heavy that it almost suffocated him.
"What happened next?" Lin Yao's voice was dry. "That agreement..."
The bitterness on Lin Che's lips deepened. "Do you know, Lin Yao? When that agreement was placed in front of me, what was the first thought that came to my mind?"
He looked at Lin Yao, his eyes complex and difficult to describe. "It's not humiliation, not anger, not even disgust towards the deal... but... a kind of almost crazy smugness."
"Secretly delighted?" Lin Yao was stunned.
"Yes, secretly happy."
Lin Che's voice was filled with self-contempt. "Because that was my only chance to legitimately stand by his side, to have a connection to him! It was like the staircase that I couldn't reach even on tiptoe, suddenly placed before me. Even if it was just a fake contract, even if it was just an act, even if... he would never love me."
Lin Che closed her eyes as she stared at the frozen window pane, her Adam's apple rolling violently. "I know this is pathetic, humble, even... vile. But these were my truest thoughts at the time. An agreement? To me, it wasn't just a cold, hard contract. It was my only hope of getting closer to him...a lifeline. It was my ticket to becoming Lu Yu's husband...without a doubt."
Lin Yao opened his mouth, unable to utter a single word. He was completely stunned by Lin Che's confession.
"So, you signed it." Lin Yao's voice was slightly hoarse. "In order to... be closer to him?"
"yes."
Lin Che opened her eyes. "I signed. I told myself, three years, just three years. Being able to stay by his side for three years, living like a true partner, even if it's just acting, is enough. This is already a stolen, unimaginable extravagant hope for me."
"Fuck! You idiot!" Lin Yao cursed in a low voice, but the violence in his voice was gone, leaving only helplessness and heaviness.
He vigorously wiped the wound on Lin Che's knuckles. "You fucking love me, so what? What kind of bullshit agreement is this? Now you've been exposed by that mad dog in public. I wonder how you'll end up like this! As for Lu Yu... what are you going to do?"
Lin Che let Lin Yao treat his wound, and the sting of the iodine made him frown slightly.
When he heard the word "Lu Yu", his body suddenly stiffened. He leaned against the cold wall with his lips tightly pursed and slowly closed his eyes.
what to do?
Lin Yang's vicious words, "Aren't you curious about the photos I sent him?", and the truth behind the agreement that was torn up in public...
"Lin Che...are you sure...that Lu Yu really loves you?" Lin Yao paused in cleaning the wound, then raised his head and looked straight into Lin Che's eyes without any hesitation.
"What... did you say?" Lin Che's voice was extremely dry.
Lin Yao did not avoid his gaze. He put down the cotton swab and looked at him more seriously.
"I say, are you sure Lu Yu really loves you?" Lin Yao's voice was low and clear, and every word was like a heavy hammer hitting Lin Che's heart.
"Lin Che, I believe what you just said. I believe you love him, love him to the point of madness, love him to the point of being willing to sacrifice your life for him. This feeling is real, I can see it clearly."
He paused, "But, what about Lu Yu?"
"You told me the agreement was the starting point, and you were drawn into it. But what about Lu Yu? What did that agreement mean to him? He signed it to solve his problems, to find a 'clean and controllable' tool. For the next three years, has he also been playing the 'perfect partner'? Has he also considered those 'affectionate acts' as part of fulfilling his contractual obligations? And then... he's dragged you deeper and deeper into it."
"Until... the agreement expires, and I throw you away without any effort?" Lin Yao's knuckles turned white from holding the cotton swab, but he still couldn't help but ask the last cruel sentence.
Lin Che looked down at Lin Yao. The wound on his knuckle was covered with iodine, which was icy cold with negligible pain.
"Lin Yao, you're right. People who indulge in it can easily lose themselves, lose sight of the truth, and even... deceive themselves." Lin Che lowered his head and calmly stated the facts.
"Lin Yao, tell me, Lu Yu... who is he?"
Lin Yao was stunned by his sudden question.
"He's Lu Yu of the Lu family." Lin Che asked and answered himself. "He's the Lu Yu who was groomed as the heir from childhood, raised under the watchful eyes of countless people. He's used to being in control, even his breathing rhythm is calculated. He's the Lu Yu with pride etched in his bones, who won't tolerate even the slightest bit of falsehood or loss of control."
His speech was not fast, but every word was powerful and hit Lin Yao's heart.
"If a person like this doesn't want to, who can force him to fall into depravity? Who can force him to do things that go beyond the scope of 'perfect acting'?"
Lin Yao opened his mouth to retort, but the certainty in Lin Che's eyes left him speechless for a moment.
"You said he was acting, fulfilling his contractual obligations?" Lin Che shook his head gently, with a look of pity. "Lin Yao, you don't understand him. The real Lu Yu is far more... complicated, and... far more willful, than the gentle, impeccable heir to the Lu family he portrays."
Lin Che looked at the dried iodine on his hands, reached into the dressing tray, took out two Band-Aids, and applied them to his knuckles. "So... that agreement was his ninety-nine steps toward me. Signing the agreement and accepting him was my first and most important step toward him."
Lin Yao finally came to his senses. He had to either stay away from Lu Yu, a man who had pride and self-respect in his bones since childhood, or take complete control of him, including his own feelings.
However, this agreement showed that he was not absolutely sure about his feelings for Lin Che. Signing this agreement also indirectly reflected his "despicable" mentality of "taking full control".
If—Lin Che didn’t want to, he could also use the agreement to bind him.
Lu Yu's unfathomable and meticulous desire for control and... that equally terrifyingly intense love wrapped in layers of calculations.
A man like Lu Yu is either not tempted at all, or once he is, he will take every step carefully and be determined to win him over.
He used a seemingly cold contract to pave a path for true emotions between himself and Lin Che, while also firmly holding the initiative in his own hands.
"What a pair of fucking lunatics." Lin Yao threw the cotton swab into the trash can and breathed a sigh of relief at the same time.
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