Chapter 84 "It's the bridge...for me to walk towards you."
Lu Yu'an was finally coaxed into finishing his meal by Lin Che. Lin Che quickly gave him a bath and coaxed him into falling asleep.
There was a faint sound of dishes colliding downstairs.
Lin Che stood at the stairs and looked down, only to see Lu Yu's tall figure silently cleaning up the mess in the kitchen.
The sound of running water began and then stopped.
Lu Yu dried his hands, answered a phone call and walked straight towards the study, and the door was closed gently.
Lin Che stood there for a moment and took a deep breath.
He knew that some words and some emotions could not be just brushed aside.
He needs to face Lu Yu.
Lin Che looked down at the collar of his shirt, which had been buttoned to the top. His fingertips unconsciously touched the area below his collarbone covered by the fabric. It seemed as if there was still a lingering burning and stinging sensation from being bitten.
He walked to the study door, raised his hand, and his knuckles paused a few centimeters away from the door panel before he finally knocked lightly.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Can I come in?"
There was silence inside the door for a moment.
"Enter."
Lu Yu's low voice came, and no emotion could be heard.
Lin Che pushed open the door. A single desk lamp was on in the study, its warm yellow light outlining Lu Yu's silhouette as he sat behind the large desk.
He wasn't looking at the documents or the computer screen. He just leaned back in his chair, his hands casually crossed on his abdomen. His deep gaze penetrated the dim light and accurately locked onto Lin Che who was standing at the door.
Lin Che stood at the door, his feet seemed to be nailed to the ground. Lu Yu's eyes enveloped him nakedly, leaving him nowhere to hide.
He saw the hand Lu Yu stretched out.
The bony hand rested casually on the armrest of the chair, palm facing up, fingers slightly spread out, a gesture of silent waiting.
Lu Yu was waiting for Lin Che to come over and jump into his arms.
This realization struck Lin Che like an electric current. All his muscles tensed, and his throat tightened.
The body is more honest than the mind.
Lin Che moved his toes. He forgot his reserve, the embarrassment and panic he had just felt, and all the words he wanted to say.
At this moment, he just wanted to get close to the area with Lu Yu's unique aura that could swallow up all his chaotic emotions.
With a determination to burn his boats, he rushed straight into Lu Yu's open arms!
“Hmm…”
The huge force made Lu Yu's chair tilt back slightly, making a slight sound. But he caught him steadily.
The powerful arms instantly clenched, tightly holding him in the arms and pressing him tightly against his hard and warm chest.
Lin Che's cheek hit Lu Yu's shoulder hard, and the familiar, crisp scent of cedar instantly enveloped him.
He almost closed his eyes immediately, and his hands tightly grasped the shirt fabric on Lu Yu's waist, his knuckles turning white from the force.
All the sounds were choked in the throat, leaving only rapid and suppressed breathing, which sprayed hotly on Lu Yu's neck.
Lu Yu rested his chin on the top of his head and tightened his arms, almost trying to rub him into his body.
Lin Che's body gradually relaxed in Lu Yu's arms, his tense nerves relieved bit by bit, and he greedily absorbed the warmth and breath from Lu Yu's body.
Lu Yu's palm slowly stroked Lin Che's back. Through the thin fabric of his shirt, he could clearly feel his slight trembling and the outline of his thin spine.
"Lu Yu..." Lin Che's muffled voice came from Lu Yu's arms, and he called Lu Yu's name softly.
"Yeah." Lin Che's ear rested on Lu Yu's chest. He could clearly hear the vibration of his chest due to the sound, as well as Lu Yu's strong heartbeat.
Let him sink.
Lu Yu's palm stroked his back slowly and firmly, along the depressions and ridges of his spine, over and over again, with an almost hypnotic soothing power, trying to smooth out all his anxiety and uneasiness.
Lin Che took a deep breath, and the crisp cedar scent from Lu Yu mixed with a very light hint of tobacco smell rushed into his lungs, bringing a heart-pounding calmness.
He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, his voice was muffled by Lu Yu's clothes and seemed a little unclear.
"Lu Yu...did you receive any photos...about me?"
When Lu Yu heard Lin Che's question, his hand stroking his back paused almost imperceptibly.
Lu Yu did not answer Lin Che's question immediately, but tightened his arms around him and gently rested his chin on the top of his head, rubbing it.
Silence spread under the warm yellow light, with only the intertwined sounds of breathing and heartbeats.
Lin Che's heart sank little by little. He raised his head, trying to find the answer from Lu Yu's deep eyes.
The pair of eyes that could always see through him easily now seemed covered with a layer of mist, with too many emotions surging in them that he could not understand.
"Do you... believe it?" Lin Che's voice trembled slightly, and his fingertips subconsciously dug into the shirt fabric on Lu Yu's waist.
Lu Yu still remained silent.
He simply lowered his head slightly and placed a gentle kiss on Lin Che's forehead.
"A Che," Lu Yu's voice was low and hoarse, "Can you... just sit in my arms first?"
Lu Yu slightly adjusted his arms to allow Lin Che to sink deeper into his embrace, their bodies fitting perfectly.
Lu Yu's palm covered his back again, and his low voice slowly sounded in the quiet study.
"Back then, the competition to become the Lu family's heir was a bottomless quagmire." Lu Yu's voice was as calm as ever. "My father placed all his ambitions and pressure on my shoulders. Back then, every step I took was like walking on a knife's edge. One misstep would have meant eternal damnation."
He paused, feeling the warm body temperature of the person in his arms with his palms.
"After Zhou Xubai's birthday party... I felt like I was bewitched." Lu Yu's Adam's apple rolled, and his voice was filled with a subtle nostalgia and bitterness. "I started... I couldn't control myself and secretly went to your school alone. I didn't dare let you know, and I didn't even dare to get too close."
Lin Che's body stiffened slightly in his arms.
"Sometimes, you sit under the big tree by the playground and read, the sunlight filtering through the leaves and falling on you, quiet as a dream. Sometimes, after evening self-study, you carry your schoolbag and eat at the small noodle shop at the school gate, eating slowly and attentively."
Lu Yu's voice dropped, each word piercing Lin Che's heart. "What hurt me the most... was seeing you working the night shift at the convenience store. It was so late, and you were all alone, guarding the bright lights, facing the empty shelves... I was standing in the shadows across the street, watching you."
Lin Che's breathing became a little rapid. He had never imagined that during the difficult years when he thought no one knew about it, there would be such a pair of eyes, silently watching him from a long distance.
"I didn't dare get close." Lu Yu's voice was filled with a heavy sense of powerlessness, and his arms tightened around Lin Che. "Back then, I couldn't even protect myself. The Lu family's vortex could tear me apart at any moment. How could I protect you? I was afraid... if I got too close to you, I'd drag you into that dirty blood."
His fingers curled unconsciously and gently grasped the shirt on Lin Che's back.
"Later, I received news that you might study abroad... Actually, I was happy for you." Lu Yu's voice was filled with genuine relief. "I thought at the time, three years... is fine. Give me three years. Three years, enough for me to clear the obstacles, enough for me to be strong enough... to walk up to you with dignity, without having to hide in the shadows and watch you."
He lowered his head, his warm breath brushing against Lin Che's ear, and said with deep regret: "What a pity... I don't know what happened that made you give up in the end. During your most difficult years..."
Lu Yu's voice choked, filled with deep regret. "I still... can only watch from afar, powerless to do anything. I even... dare not ask what happened to you. I'm afraid that I won't be able to help myself... and will rush over recklessly, and then... drag you into deeper darkness."
Lin Che's eyes instantly turned red. He tilted his head back slightly and looked at Lu Yu's tense jawline. His heart felt like it was being tightly grasped by an invisible hand, causing it to ache and swell.
It turns out that all those years when he thought he was fighting alone, he wasn't alone. It turns out that there was someone who felt his suffering from afar, and even felt more pain than he did.
“But…” Lu Yu’s tone suddenly dropped, with a cold, self-loathing tone, “Later… I still did something stupid.”
Lu Yu stretched out his hand, and his slender fingers trembled slightly, gently brushing away the black hair that was slightly damp with sweat on Lin Che's forehead.
Lin Che was forced to meet his gaze completely. His deep eyes now clearly reflected the red corners of Lin Che's eyes and the mist in his eyes.
"I've never dared to ask you..." Lu Yu's voice was low and hoarse, and every word seemed to be squeezed out from the bottom of his heart with difficulty, "Is our marriage... a kind of... hurt to you?"
He paused for a long time, as if gathering up his courage, and gently stroked the slightly cool skin around Lin Che's eyes with his fingertips.
"At the time, I was afraid that if I approached you rashly, you would feel rude, disgusted, or even...dislike me. I was afraid of pushing you further away." His voice was filled with cautious fear. "But...I was even more afraid that if I didn't approach you again, I would lose the chance to be close to you forever...and lose you forever."
Lin Che's tears silently slid down and dripped onto Lu Yu's shirt, leaving a small dark stain.
"So... I finally chose the most despicable method." The corners of Lu Yu's mouth curled up in an extremely bitter arc, but his eyes were firmly locked on Lin Che. With a frankness that was almost desperate, he said, "I went to find Lin Zhenbang."
Lin Che's body trembled violently.
"I told him I needed someone 'sensible' to handle the household. People say I'm cold-blooded and ruthless. People like Lin Zhenbang want to cling to the Lu family for profit, but he's reluctant to risk his beloved son, Lin Yang. After weighing the pros and cons, he'll definitely push you out... just like he abandoned your mother back then, sacrificing you without hesitation."
"So..." Lu Yu took a deep breath, as if to expel the heaviness that had accumulated over the years, "In the end... I chose an even more despicable shackle. I asked you to sign that... three-year marriage agreement with me."
He lowered his head and gently rested his forehead against Lin Che's, their noses touching and their breaths blending.
The pain and vulnerability in those deep eyes were now revealed to Lin Che without reservation, with an almost heart-wrenching honesty.
"even though……"
Lu Yu's voice was as light as a sigh. "Even if I tried my best in the past three years and still couldn't make you fall in love with me... I can still use this agreement and this status to tie you firmly to my side. So that you... can't go anywhere for at least these three years, and can only... be mine."
“Lin Che…” He called his name, those two words carrying too much unspeakable weight, with a deep exhaustion and remorse, “I’m sorry.”
"I've always wanted to say to you...I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry for trapping you in the most unbearable way."
"I'm sorry for making you bear the shackles of a marriage by agreement."
"I'm sorry... I wasn't able to lend you a hand when you needed me most, but instead I trapped you with a rope when you wanted to escape."
"I'm sorry... I'm a selfish and mean bastard."
This heavy apology brought with it an overwhelming amount of heartache and bitterness.
Lin Che's tears burst out, not because of grievance, but because she saw Lu Yu's fragile and cautious love hidden under his strong appearance.
It turned out that behind those cold terms of the agreement, Lu Yu was also cautiously trying to clumsily approach his soul in the dark.
He suddenly raised his head, his tear-stained eyelashes trembling, but he took the initiative to kiss her in the sad gaze of Lu Yu.
Lin Che held Lu Yu's cheeks tightly with both hands, her fingertips digging into his taut skin, as if to pull him out of the abyss of self-loathing.
Their foreheads touched.
Lin Che gasped, his chest heaving violently. The corners of his eyes were red, and his moist lips were a thrilling red.
"That three-year agreement..."
Lin Che sniffed and buried her face deeper into Lu Yu's neck, her hot breath spraying on Lu Yu's sensitive skin. With an almost coquettish dependence and complete trust, she said, "It has never been a cage to lock me up."
"Lu Yu," his voice was muffled, filled with the exhaustion of surviving a disaster, "It's the bridge...for me to walk towards you."
As soon as the words fell, Lin Che seemed to have exhausted all his strength. His body completely softened, and he completely surrendered himself to this warm and solid embrace.
He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against the warm skin of Lu Yu's neck, feeling the strong beating pulse.
Lu Yu was silent.
Time seems to stand still at this moment.
There were only two violently beating hearts, separated by a warm chest and thin clothes, tightly pressed against each other, resonating at the same frequency, and telling the same answer that needed no further explanation.
"Um."
One syllable, weighing a thousand pounds, contains all the unfinished words and surging emotions.
Lu Yu tightened his arms and embraced his entire world deeper in his arms.
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