Chapter 27
On weekdays, as long as the tennis and judo clubs don't have training, Yagyu doesn't have any "upper-class" social activities, and I'm not summoned by the old man, then besides Yagyu's house, the bookstore closest to Kamakura Station is our base.
The boss was also a passionate mystery novel enthusiast, and he had collected many out-of-print books, all of which were placed on the highest shelf. At first, we tried to persuade him for a long time, but he just shook his head and refused. It wasn't until Liu Sheng found a first-edition copy of "The Judas Window" from the last century and sold it to him at a low price that he began to trust us.
Even so, he only allowed us to borrow one book at a time, two books for the two of us, and we could only read them in the store; we were absolutely not allowed to take them out.
Over the years, Liu Sheng and I often stayed at the bookstore from opening time until closing time, not leaving all day. If we got hungry at noon, we would buy two rice balls at the convenience store at the station and eat them standing at the door.
There were many rules in the bookstore: no eating, no drinking, and no talking. So, when I turned the pages of my yellowed reading journal from back to front, all I saw were the handwriting of two people chatting.
Of course, most of the time we were so engrossed in the novel's plot that we didn't pay attention to anyone else.
Niou obviously wouldn't participate in such a somewhat dull form of entertainment; he even showed a degree of disdain for my calling it entertainment.
However, he would join in activities like watching movies, but he didn't seem to be very interested in those old movies. He would always lie down on the sofa in the living room halfway through. At this time, Liu Sheng would often thoughtfully pull over a blanket and pounce on him to cover his whole body until he was suffocated.
"You two are a perfect match."
At that moment, Niou struggled to get up, frowned and looked at me, but the next second he was covered with a blanket by Yagyu.
I laughed out loud, but considering the relationship between the three of us, I only took that sentence as a joke, and I only took Liu Sheng's actions as a joke.
However, to many people, the fact that Liu Sheng and I often meet alone is quite unusual. I'm not so oblivious as to not be able to guess what others are thinking. If they were to label me as "in a relationship" because of this, they would be incredibly bored. But if I were to deliberately respond by labeling us as "friends," it would seem like I was trying to cover something up.
The junior who had previously confessed to Yagyu and failed had sneaked up to the floor where the second-year science class was located, peeking around at the stairwell, just wanting to catch a glimpse of who this senior who was always by his side really was.
As a result, she watched as I and Renwang next door fought over a scratch paper to solve a science competition problem, making a scene from one end of the corridor to the other, and she left embarrassed and dejected.
I wonder how she viewed Yagyu, who was campaigning for votes every day next to the posters on the first floor, during the student council election.
After analyzing so much information, I still haven't figured out how to reply to that Christmas Eve date invitation. Although it seems like there are only two options—accept or decline—neither option sounds like a good choice.
I hesitated for a long time, as if at this moment I was also trapped by the thought processes of others.
The news about Tezuka didn't help; it only made things worse. If he went straight home, I was determined to go to Tokyo. After all, I'd rather go back with him than wait until the two of them had a falling out and Aunt Ayana called me for help.
I've already stood up Yagyu many times using my master as an excuse, so many times that I'm starting to feel embarrassed. How am I supposed to bring it up this time?
I got up and opened the window of the room. The warmth of the heating made me feel dizzy. I closed my eyes slightly and felt the cold wind of the winter night. The screen of my phone on the table flashed. I turned around when I heard the ringtone and looked down at the caller ID—Nan Nan.
A fleeting sense of disappointment crossed my mind; I didn't even know whose call I was expecting.
The moment I pressed the call button, a voice came from the other end: "Sanae, help me!"
I straightened up nervously and switched the phone to my other hand: "What happened? Don't panic. Are you in China?"
"Could you get off and pay my fare?" she asked, sounding somewhat embarrassed.
"Huh?" I jumped down the stairs in three quick steps, loosened the latch, and reached out to pull the shop door open. The taxi's headlights shone on my shop sign, and Minami Katakura leaned out of the window from the back seat. Her beautiful eyes looked even more pitiful against this expression.
After thanking the driver, Nan Nan stood there for a few seconds after getting out of the car, while I was still in a state of surprise, unsure of where to begin asking questions. Perhaps the exorbitant taxi fare was simply too painful for me.
As she took off her pointed high heels, she tossed her long, curly hair that was covering her face aside, and exclaimed that she was so hungry.
"Have a seat for a bit, I'll go see what else we have to eat," I said, lifting the curtain and walking into the kitchen. "Would you like some vegetarian fried rice?"
"I'd even eat raw cabbage." Nan Nan sighed and sat down, fiddling with the seven-spice powder jar on the table.
After a while, I came out with a plate and handed her the fried rice and spoon from the inside of the counter. I didn't hear any noise upstairs, so it seemed that my parents and grandmother hadn't been woken up.
Under the warm yellow light, I finally saw her exquisite makeup, her obviously styled curly hair, and the dress with a small train. I tried to piece together what had happened tonight from these details and her "past offenses," but my overly curious gaze betrayed my guesses.
Our Southern Princess curled her lips slightly, slammed down the spoon in her hand, and said, "I should have stayed in Baltimore for another semester!"
"Is it your uncle, or is it Oshitari-kun?" I asked cautiously.
She rolled her eyes wide, swallowed a mouthful of rice angrily, and I immediately poured her a glass of water.
"I really don't know if he knows that everyone in the hospital is saying he sold his daughter," Nan Nan said, laughing in anger. "Yushi actually agreed to it. They're all crazy, they're all crazy."
I couldn't find an opening to interrupt, so I had no choice but to listen to her continue.
"He was the one who broke ties with the Oshitari family to become the dean, and now that he's the dean, he's all lovey-dovey with the Oshitari family. I don't understand at all."
She took another sip of water.
"When we were enemies, you handed me over to Kyoya Ootori; when we were allies, you pushed me onto Yuushi Oshitari. Am I something to be sold off cheaply? Am I some kind of bargaining chip?"
"I really don't understand..."
By the time I finished clearing away the dishes, she had already mentioned the sixth "I don't understand" and the third "I can't figure it out." I pulled her upstairs quietly and into the room. She kicked off her skirt, which was in the way, and sat cross-legged by the heater, looking up at me.
"Just because I like Yuushi, I should be grateful and accept their arrangements? Is my liking him so insignificant?"
She emphasized again, "This is my relationship."
Then came a long silence. After regaining her composure, Nan Nan took off her long fleece coat. Seeing that I was not saying a word, she poked my cheek and said, "You can start asking questions now, Officer Okada."
I could have jokingly replied with, "Dear Princess Nan, this is quite a lot of information," but my attention was focused on the last two sentences she said.
"What exactly is liking... liking?" I asked slowly.
Nan Nan's expression changed from initial anger to surprise, and then she widened her eyes and leaned closer to me: "Sanae, are you...?"
"No," I shook my head, "If you're asking if I have someone I like, then I don't."
"You don't even know the definition of 'like,' how can you tell if you've fallen for someone?" Nan Nan's question came so quickly that I didn't have time to think.
"That's not important." I subconsciously avoided the question.
"Oh no, this is very important." Nan Nan pressed on, "Let me guess, is it related to Yagyu-kun?"
I turned my head away and didn't say anything.
"That has something to do with Tezuka-kun." Nan Nan smiled.
I opened the closet to get a change of clothes, trying to change the subject, but given the environment in which Katakura Minami grew up, how could she let me off so easily?
"Have you ever thought about why Yagyu got used to staying by your side?" Nan Nan's words punctured the water balloon that had been hanging over my head, and cold water was poured on my head, instantly bringing me to my senses.
"And have you ever considered that perhaps one day Tezuka-kun won't need you anymore?"
"He's different," I replied without hesitation.
"Looks like you know everything." Nan Nan smiled, picked up her clothes, and headed towards the bathroom.
I was left in the room with my mind in increasingly chaotic state. I frantically messed up my hair and stuck my head out the window. Sure enough, these things that cannot be understood by logical thinking are not for me.
I decided to abandon those external influencing factors, stop considering what those choices meant, and just do the things I always do, such as replying to a line message to Yagyu, telling him that I was going to Tokyo to see my master on Christmas Eve.
Many years later, I have no recollection of that night's struggles, except for Nan Nan's green dress and the exorbitant taxi fare, which are deeply etched in my memory.
However, the following evening I received a call from Yagyu. As I pressed the call button, I was half-dragging Tezuka out of the increasingly tense tatami room. My master's blood pressure and heart were very fragile, and I thought that if I didn't leave soon, that cup of tea would be splashed on his grandson's face.
I gestured to Tezuka with my eyes to quickly put on my shoes, then put my phone to my ear and pushed open the door.
"Sanae-neechan, why didn't you come to play today?"
The voice of the youngest sister from the Yagyu family came through.
"Merry Christmas Eve, little sister," I said in a high-pitched voice, as if coaxing a child. "I'm in Tokyo tonight because I have something to do."
"But Sanae-nee..." Before she could finish speaking, another person answered the phone, "Sorry, she insisted on taking my phone."
"I understand, I understand. It seems your house is quite lively." I turned around and glanced at Tezuka, whose expression was still stiff. I took his arm, and the two of us headed towards the train station.
"Are you outside?" Liu Sheng asked, probably having heard what was happening here.
"Because I'm going to see the Christmas tree in Ebisu," I nodded and replied.
Tezuka, who was standing next to me, heard what I said, then looked down and asked with a puzzled expression, "Going to Ebisu?"
I nodded twice more as if to confirm, but before I could say happy holiday to Liu Sheng again, he had already said "have fun" and hung up the phone.
Since I didn't go out with Yagyu on Christmas Eve, I won't know why he hurriedly hung up when he heard Tezuka talking, nor will I know that the window seat at the harbor restaurant was empty all night that day, and that the always gentlemanly and considerate Yagyu Hiroshi didn't cancel the reservation even though he knew the person he was supposed to meet wouldn't come. I also won't know where the necklace lying in the velvet box ended up.
I've never been one to join in the fun, so Tezuka had no idea I'd say I wanted to see the lit Christmas tree. Actually, I didn't expect it myself either. I just felt that to escape a bad atmosphere, I needed to go to a place with a high concentration of happiness.
"Because they all look happy."
So when he asked me why, this is how I answered.
"Then I'm happy too." Tezuka stood beside me, his profile blurred in the dazzling lights, and his voice seemed to drift away.
"Do you like Christmas?" I looked up at the fairy lights at the top.
"I like it." He only said two simple syllables, and then a snowflake landed on the tip of my nose.
I raised my hand to feel the coolness, then turned to look at him: "Kuoguang, it's snowing."
Passersby were also sighing; they were either happy families, loving couples, or friends gathered together. Tezuka and I stood among them, like two still figures.
Is it possible that the future is actually not important to me?
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