"After Qingyun attempted suicide for the first time, I asked her, if you are not afraid of death, why are you afraid of living?"

"She told me that living was too painful. That stupid way of committing suicide was painful enough, but living was ten times more painful than the wound on her wrist. It was like a bug was eating away at her body every day, and she couldn't get rid of it at all."

"Dragging this body that is no longer worthy of my sister, just opening my eyes is a torture."

"She once believed that there really were gods in this world, but she no longer believed from that day on. If there really were gods in this world, why couldn't they hear her helpless voice of prayer?"

Liu Ruoxue felt a pang of pain in her heart. It turned out that Liu Qingyun had been smiling in front of her in order not to make her worry. The marriage arranged for Liu Qingyun and the so-called "returning to the right path" arranged for her were just a torture for Liu Qingyun, a torture of being forced to cater to her favorite sister.

She thought that what she was doing was right, and that was to hand the knife to Liu Qingyun again and again.

When Liu Ruoxue found out about all this, she was confused. Liu Ruoxue had always felt that Liu Qingyun's feelings for her were not just love, and Qingyun's love for women could be corrected. Now that she thought about it, Liu Ruoxue didn't even understand when Liu Qingyun started to like her. Even if she was allowed to do it again, she would never accept Liu Qingyun's feelings, which was contrary to what she had been taught since she was a child. At this time, Liu Ruoxue really felt pain. Facing this kind of thing, Xia Ruoming still had the opportunity to follow her own path, but she could only accept the result. Even if she was allowed to do it again, she would only accept the result that her sister would die. She couldn't do anything to change this result.

Liu Qingyun would never make things difficult for Liu Ruoxue. Her sister wanted her to get married, so she did. Her sister wanted her to stop liking women, so she never mentioned such things again. It was only when she felt that her body and heart had become filthy that she felt the despair was so terrible.

Her love was neither accepted nor understood. But Liu Qingyun didn't want her sister to suffer because of this, so she made a decision that would have the best of both worlds. After Ye Han grew up and could live on her own, she cut her wrist, even cutting vertically to sever the blood vessels, and put it in a warm water bathtub. With the first experience, what she did went very smoothly...

The feeling was really painful, so painful that even the bravest and stupidest warrior would grimace in pain.

But Liu Qingyun was smiling when she passed away in the bathtub. Compared with the pain and torture she had endured, this pain was nothing...

Liu Qingyun is just a pitiful person who is afraid of death, but even more afraid of living...

The choices she made for Liu Qingyun and the future she brought to Liu Qingyun were all extremely cruel and tragic stories, but they were just the paths she thought were right. After understanding this, Liu Ruoxue closed her eyes helplessly. This incident fundamentally shook what she had always believed in and made her doubt what she had always insisted on.

And she also understood what Xia Jingsong meant.

Xia Ruoming is likely to make the same choice as Liu Qingyun.

If living in this world is destined to be painful, then why does she have to go through it?

The way to end all this is very simple, that is to close your eyes and never wake up again.

[Sleep, sleep, please stop hesitating. Sleep, sleep, forget all the sorrow. ]

[Don't cry, don't be afraid, let me take you home, when the song starts, go to sleep, go to sleep...]

For some reason, Liu Ruoxue suddenly remembered the song that Xia Ruoming had played before. Liu Qingyun had indeed made this choice. As long as she could sleep here forever, she would no longer have to be sad and confused. The daughter who was so similar to her sister would choose the same path as her sister when she was forced into a desperate situation.

Is she really happy to see this? How could she?

After all, the lost traveler is not Liu Qingyun, but Liu Ruoxue herself...

Feeling extremely powerless, Liu Ruoxue leaned on the sofa and fell asleep. She didn't even know when she fell asleep.

[Sister, sister, mom bought it for me, sister, please eat it with me~]

[Sister, can we stay together forever and never separate? ]

[Sister, Qingyun is really afraid of being alone. Please don’t leave Qingyun. 】

Liu Ruoxue also smiled in her sleep. When she was a girl, Liu Qingyun always pestered her and called her sister behind her. At that time, she was very happy to have a lovely sister.

[Is that so... Will this make my sister happy... Well then...]

[Well, if it’s what my sister said, Qingyun will just do it...]

[It’s okay, sister, Qingyun is very happy...]

[Ruoming, when you grow up, you must protect your mother and don't let anyone hurt her...]

[Sister, I no longer have the courage to live on. It would be nice if I could live in a world with only my sister and I. Then, maybe my sister would fall in love with me...]

[Goodbye, sister... Goodbye, Xiaoxue, Hanhan, mommy couldn’t take good care of you...]

"No, Qingyun!"

The cold blade cut her skin, blood gushed out, and Liu Ruoxue woke up from her dream. It turned out to be a nightmare.

Although this nightmare is reality and has already happened, no matter how hard I try, I cannot reverse it...

She didn't know why. She had never seen how her sister died, but the scene in her dream was so real, as if it was deeply engraved in her mind.

"Are you awake? I've bought breakfast for you. You fell asleep on the sofa yesterday, and I couldn't move you there directly." Xia Jingsong said as he handed over two plastic bags containing millet porridge and tea eggs.

"Has she left? Went to school?" Liu Ruoxue asked in a low voice after waking up from a nightmare.

"Yeah, isn't my daughter always like this? Whenever something happens, she forgets everything after crying. She's really like her." Xia Jingsong sighed, "If she would take things to heart, she would probably hate you to death a long time ago. Fortunately, she is not that kind of daughter."

"Old Xia, tell me, if I hadn't forcibly interfered with my sister's fate, would the current situation be different?" Liu Ruoxue murmured to herself with tears in her eyes.

"Yes, but you will suffer more." Xia Jingsong shook his head. "It's not you who is wrong, but what you were forced to accept in the beginning."