It turns out that he had already pushed "Bai Jinxiu" away. It all started with his repeated distrust. He was the one who hurt "Bai Jinxiu" so badly. So how could he possibly ask for forgiveness now?
Seeing Bai Jinxiu in this state, Bai Chuheng suddenly felt relieved at this moment.
Let him go...
Perhaps, this is the best ending.
A dull ache throbbed in his chest, accompanied by a deep sorrow. He recalled the words of a spy from Country C who had been executed five years ago: "I curse you, I curse that the person you love most will leave you, I curse that you will never receive love, and that you will live the rest of your life in hell."
The vicious curse echoed in Bai Chuheng's mind, and at that moment he suddenly understood.
So this is the curse.
He could not forget the year "Bai Jinxiu" was sixteen, when she was locked up by Shang Linjun for accepting his love letter, on the grounds that she was not allowed to have a relationship early and not allowed to associate with disreputable people. She was locked up for two years.
Time and again, she angered Shang Linjun because of him, and was then punished according to family rules.
When Bai Jinxiu was eighteen, under the influence of alcohol, he did what he had always wanted to do: he slept with his adopted son.
At that time, "Bai Jinxiu" cried and begged for mercy under him, but he pretended not to hear and brutally penetrated and possessed her.
Milky white liquid mixed with streaks of blood flowed down his legs. He knew it would hurt, but his mind was focused on possessing him, not on stopping to feel sorry for him.
Perhaps he never loved her; his feelings for "Bai Jinxiu" were more about possessiveness.
He let him go and disappeared from his life, only hearing about his current situation from others every day.
While he let "Bai Jinxiu" go, he also lost the most important person in his heart.
Without that person, all that remained of him was his body. He stared blankly at the black and white photograph like a walking corpse, looking at it for days and nights.
Time not only failed to heal the wounds in his heart, but instead made them worse and irreparable.
He doesn't even remember how he got through these past few years.
In 1937, the Lu Gou Muqiao Incident broke out, and he received orders from his superiors to go to the battlefield.
Bai Chuheng knew that this departure might be their last. On the battlefield, bullets have no eyes; he might return with severed limbs, or he might return wrapped in a horse's hide...
I heard he's been doing well all these years. Although I know it's really impolite to bother him like this, I still want to go because there's something I've been holding in my heart for too long, something I owe him.
When Bai Chuheng arrived, Shen Ye was trying on her new costume for Shang Linjun to see. The smile on her face was genuine, unlike a forced one.
Shang Linjun noticed Bai Chuheng standing at the door first. Even though he was very unhappy about his arrival, he still invited him in and gave the two of them some space to be alone.
"How have you been these past few years?" Shen Ye broke the silence first.
"I'm doing well, eating well, sleeping well, everything's fine. How about you?" Even though I knew the answer already, I still wanted to hear it from him in person.
"I'm fine too."
Then came another long silence.
How embarrassing. I should say something, anything is fine.
Did you come to see me specifically today?
"Jinxiu, how do you say 'I love you' in English?"
The two spoke almost in unison.
Bai Chuheng didn't answer Shen Ye; instead, Shen Ye answered Bai Chuheng.
I love you.
Bai Chuheng smiled, then suddenly leaned in and kissed Shen Ye on the lips. "I love you too."
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