Chapter 30: Spring Day Green (13) Who is he to her? Let’s delve deeper…
I don’t know how long it took, but Lin Xia finally got tired of crying. She cried too hard and her voice became sobbing. In the silent room, the two people’s breathing sounds lingered in each other’s ears through the radio waves, and it was very real.
"What's wrong?" He Chuan asked softly.
Lin Xia had a headache from crying so much. She placed her cold hands on her burning face to cool it down and replied in a muffled voice:
"Politics, I can't memorize it..."
As soon as I finished speaking, I felt that I was childish and ridiculous.
Is that why? Just because of something so trivial, I called someone in the middle of the night using long-distance roaming? Could I be more willful?
But He Chuan did not blame her, but comforted her calmly:
"It's okay, take your time, you're just stressed out."
“But I really don’t think I can learn it.”
Lin Xia sighed, feeling very negative:
"I overestimated myself. I can't do it at all. I wasted my time and my family's money. Maybe I shouldn't have studied art in the first place..."
"Xia Xia, don't be so pessimistic. You still have time. It's not time to give up," He Chuan said. "Remember when we visited Tsinghua University together? Don't you want to study there? Don't you want to be a part of it? Don't forget your dream."
"I haven't forgotten. I never have."
Lin Xia bit her lip and said word by word:
“Because I haven’t forgotten it, I know even more clearly that I’m still a long way from achieving it.”
"What are the details? Is there anything you don't understand?"
"English composition..."
"Memorize the template, but don't memorize it by rote. Find a few more and write your own template using sentences you are used to. This will make it easier to remember and more flexible."
"Geography is also difficult. The questions about calculating longitude and latitude don't seem like they should be from a liberal arts subject..."
"There's a pattern to this. We had a formula back then. Didn't your teacher teach it to you?"
He recalled the few mnemonics and recited them to her, explaining their meanings to her one by one.
"And history! I can never get the historical material questions right!"
"That's actually the easiest. Almost all the answers are in the question itself. Just remember a few key words..."
He told her all the learning experiences and skills he had summarized over the years, bit by bit, without reservation. As Lin Xia listened, many of the confusions in her heart suddenly became clear.
"What about math? Conic sections, derivatives, the big questions after that, I have no idea what to do."
He Chuan laughed: "I can't help you with this. I have almost forgotten all the math myself."
Lin Xia thought about it and agreed. He had graduated for three years and he didn't learn math even though he was studying law. He really didn't know who could do high school math problems after going to college.
"As for English vocabulary, political questions, and historical events, you can only rely on memorization. It takes time and effort to learn. It's not something you can achieve overnight. Don't rush it."
He Chuan paused and continued:
"But don't get hung up on the difficult parts, Xia Xia. Remember, your goal isn't a perfect score of 750. Your goal is to pass the admission score for Tsinghua University, so you have to make some trade-offs."
Lin Xia carefully wrote down every word he said, and suddenly thought of something and burst out laughing.
He Chuan asked her what she was laughing at, and she said:
“I always feel like I’ve attended a pre-exam tutorial lecture by an excellent senior.”
He Chuan also laughed:
“It is very similar.”
He is indeed her senior.
"So, what were you doing just now, Senior? Did you sleep?"
"No, I was in the library just now, writing a paper."
No wonder he didn't call back right away.
"What now?"
"Outside now, on the steps in front of the library, next to the middle gate."
Lin Xia remembered Zhongmen, the sculpture that was said to cause one to fail an exam if one walked through it.
"I'm sorry to bother you so late." She apologized quietly.
However, she was really upset and didn't know who to talk to. The only name that came to her mind was He Chuan. His voice and his comfort really worked wonders, and now her mood has calmed down a lot.
"It doesn't matter," He Chuan said calmly, "This is your most difficult time. It's normal to lose control of your emotions."
"Were you also this anxious before the college entrance examination?"
"Of course."
"Then how do you deal with it?"
"At that time, I..." He Chuan said slowly with a hint of nostalgia in his tone, "I would go to the playground and run, and run non-stop."
Lin Xia was stunned for a moment. She didn't expect him to use this method. It was more of a form of repression than a way of relieving stress.
"But this probably isn't suitable for you," He Chuan paused and said, "If you're too sad, you can call me. Don't worry about the phone bill, I'll top it up for you."
When Lin Xia heard him say this, her nose began to feel sore again. She knew, of course she knew, that He Chuan was also very busy and it was difficult for He Chuan, but he was still willing to take the time to comfort her, encourage her, and accompany her. He was so good to her.
But she can't be so willful forever.
She took a deep breath and said slowly:
"These days, whenever I'm sad, I think of you. Whenever I don't do well on a test, I think of talking to you. Sometimes I don't even make it to the evening to get home. During the day at school, I just want to text you. Yesterday, my homeroom teacher suddenly checked my phone during morning self-study, and she almost caught me. And also..."
Also, in the science class next door, there was a boy and a girl who were in a premature relationship. They had been together since their second year of high school, and it was known to everyone in the school. This week, for some reason, they were suddenly caught by the teacher, and the school forced one of them to drop out. In the end, the boy transferred to a regular high school in the suburbs.
There are less than two months left.
Some people said that their class teacher was particularly irritable because of menopause, while others said that they were caught being intimate on the playground by the head teacher, so the school wanted to make an example of them.
Lin Xia didn't know those two people very well, and didn't want to delve into what was right and what was wrong. She just felt that the world was really crazy, everyone was crazy, crazy because of the college entrance examination.
Including Zhao Qianyi and Lin Xuedong.
"My mom has been scouring the world for all sorts of folk remedies and medicines for my brain. Last time, she even sent me a talisman, saying she got it from a master in a temple and told me to burn it and drink it with water. Every night in the neighborhood, there's people playing music and doing square dancing. Several parents of high school students joined together to stop them. An argument ensued, attracting many neighbors to watch, and eventually even the police arrived."
The pressure comes not only from within, but also from everyone around you.
Parents and teachers, are their madness for the good of their children? But why hasn't this goodness been reflected in the past 18 years, but only concentrated in these short 100 days before the exam?
She couldn't imagine what would happen to her if she really failed the exam, missed the chance to be with Qingmei, and had to repeat the year.
She knew that there was no definite, actual, or supposed relationship between her and He Chuan, but she was not clear-minded. At this critical juncture, there could not be even the slightest bit of mishap.
"Actually, I've already made up my mind. This is the last time I'll talk to you before the college entrance exam. I want to get into Qingmei, so badly that I have to push myself to the limit, abandoning all distractions other than studying. I can't leave myself any way out. I can't rely on you so recklessly anymore. I'm destined to walk this road alone."
After hearing what she said, He Chuan was silent for a moment.
Lin Xia tightened her grip on the phone, and accidentally bit her lower lip until it turned white.
She was afraid, afraid that he would be angry, afraid that he would be disappointed, afraid that he... would never pay attention to her again.
After a few long seconds, she heard He Chuan say to her in his usual calm and gentle voice:
"You're right. It's better not to be distracted. Don't think too much and study with all your strength. I'm waiting for your good news."
"good!"
Lin Xia nodded vigorously, promised him, and encouraged herself again:
"I will definitely not let you down!"
......
After hanging up the phone, He Chuan did not return to the library immediately. He still sat on the steps, not moving for a long time.
April in Hong Kong is already hot, and the summer night breeze carries the rich fragrance of osmanthus flowers. There's an event planned for tomorrow on Million Avenue nearby, and tables, chairs, and a temporary exhibition tent have already been set up. Although it's nearly midnight, the campus remains brightly lit, and groups of students wander by, chatting, laughing, and enjoying the fullness of their youth.
One of He Chuan's classmates happened to pass by and saw him sitting next to Zhong Men, so he greeted him and joked:
"Be careful, you might fail the exam and become a fat guy!"
He Chuan smiled and didn't answer.
Fatty is the transliteration of the English word “fail”, which means failing an exam in Cantonese.
There are many such slangs and fixed expressions that are half English and half Chinese. He couldn't understand them at all when he first came here, but now he can guess most of them.
He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. His spine and neck were stiff and tired from sitting in front of the computer for so long.
That innocent, conceited, willful, crybaby and laughing girl whom he had known since he was nineteen, was actually stronger and more independent than he thought.
He was pleased with her growth, but also laughed at his own selfishness.
Just now, when Lin Xia told him that she couldn't always rely on him, he almost blurted out that he didn't mind being relied on by her all the time.
Or rather, he was happy to be relied upon by her.
Humans are ultimately social creatures, eager to be needed, delighted by affirmation, and yearning to feel present around others. He's certainly busy, truly exhausted, not just lately, writing papers, researching literature, preparing for exams, and completing various assignments from his advisor. But wherever he goes, his phone is always with him. When he hears a message, he's the first to check and reply, no matter how late or how busy he is, lest he miss it.
He asked himself, you are also looking forward to hearing that voice coming from afar, that little girl who is about to face a major turning point in her life. All the details in life, whether it is complaints or crying, are actually healing to his ears.
Keeping in touch with her for such a long time was not only for her, but also for himself.
However, these words were never spoken.
What qualifications and status did he have to speak like that? Who was he to her? If you delve into it, it was all embarrassing.
He couldn't delay her any longer, he couldn't indulge her like this any longer. What he was indulging was not her willfulness, but his own heart.
He Chuan sighed silently, stood up, brushed the dust off his pants, turned around and walked towards the library, where there was a laptop that was not turned off, a half-drunk large glass of iced American coffee, and a mountain of documents and papers waiting for him.
That’s all.
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