Chapter 31: Spring Day Green (14) My song is actually in this play...
Lin Xia did what she said. After her last call with He Chuan, she removed the SIM card and locked her phone in a box, along with her beloved MP3 player.
Unless one day everything is settled, she will never open this box.
Let her go crazy for the college entrance exam like everyone else!
How she managed to get through that period was, years later, a completely hazy memory, almost like amnesia. Perhaps the human brain truly has a self-protective mechanism, selectively forgetting particularly painful memories to protect us from being trapped in the past and repeatedly suffering.
All I remember is the endless mountains of books and seas of exercises, the countdown to the end of the world on the blackboard, the memorization and exams day and night, the mad study that seemed to overdraw my life. The brilliant youth of eighteen or nineteen years old was locked in a thorn tower woven of English words and mathematical symbols. Even if I was bleeding, I still had to sing the last hymn.
Most people will never devote their full attention and concentration to one thing in their entire lives. Who knows whether it is a blessing or a curse?
In April, during the second mock exam, Lin Xia regained her ranking in the class before the training camp.
In May, during the third mock exam, Lin Xia's score improved by more than 100 points. If nothing unexpected happens, this score will be enough to pass the admission line for key universities, as well as for Tsinghua University and the Fine Arts Institute.
During this time, she received several professional qualification certificates from universities. Art students who passed the school entrance examination would also receive such a document, just like an acceptance letter. The letter from Tsinghua University was very plain, just a plain white envelope, unnoticeable among the colorful pile of mail in the mailroom. Lin Xia quietly retrieved it without anyone noticing.
Besides Lu Hong, only Song Ci knew that she had taken Qingmei's certificate.
Song Ci admired the certificate curiously, then said to her:
"Actually, I'm a little confused. You're about to get into Qingmei, so the school should be supporting you. Why haven't they said anything yet?"
The top twenty students of the school year were forced to go to a separate classroom every evening for self-study and receive special treatment from their teachers. The girl who ranked first in the science class openly went out with her boyfriend around school, and all the teachers turned a blind eye. And this morning, Lin Xia was being taken out and relentlessly scolded by Lu Hong for missing the last-minute homework she'd assigned her after school because she was absent from tutoring the previous afternoon.
"It's better if they don't show any respect to me," Lin Xia said sincerely. "I don't deserve any special treatment. It will only put more pressure on me."
Song Ci nodded and comforted her:
"Relax, your grades are good enough now."
"Not yet. Isn't it said that the difficulty of the third mock exam is relatively simple? It's meant to build confidence for students who are about to enter the exam hall."
"So, you should build up your confidence." Song Ci glanced at her. "It's necessary to be a little nervous, but it's already this late. You shouldn't think too much. You've been too anxious lately."
Lin Xia did not answer because she knew that Song Ci was right. She had been too anxious recently and had lost nearly ten pounds. She had gastrointestinal disorders and endocrine disorders, and her physical condition was very, very bad.
"How can I be as calm as you?" Lin Xia smiled bitterly.
"It's not that I don't have anxiety, it's just not as severe as others. On the one hand, my parents are more relaxed about me, and on the other hand, maybe I'm more open-minded."
Song Ci thought for a moment, took out a book from her bag, opened a page, and handed it to Lin Xia:
“I’ll give you this poem.”
Lin Xia took it and looked at it. Sure enough, it was another collection of modern poetry, written by Xi Murong:
In the fragrant season
Because of falling flowers, because of loneliness, because of your looking back
And made me sing with tears
It's just a tuneless song
But suddenly
Because the curtain rises, because the lights come on, because of the applause of the crowd
Just found out
My Song
It is the brilliance of this drama.]
The poem is beautiful. With Lin Xia's literary accomplishment and life experience, she cannot fully appreciate the poet's profound meaning. However, at this moment, the emotions brought by the rhythm of the words inexplicably infected her, making her feel a long-lost peace in her heart.
Her studies, her future, the unknown girl's thoughts, everything that worries her, may all have an answer in the near future.
It’s almost there, it’s almost there.
Thus, this poem became Lin Xia's last memory of her entire high school years.
.
The day of the college entrance examination has finally arrived.
The weather was perfect, neither too hot nor too cold, neither windy nor rainy nor too sunny. Zhao Qianyi returned from the provincial capital two days early. After breakfast, she and Lin Xuedong took Lin Xia to the exam venue.
Lin Xia's exam wasn't held at the school, but at Yifu Middle School. Banners hung at the school gate, police cars and ambulances were parked, and a canopy was erected for parents accompanying their children. Water and food were provided. Traffic was controlled throughout the city, with staggered travel and honking prohibited. Everyone, not just the students, was giving their all for this day.
Lin Xia squeezed through the bustling crowd at the door, walked into the teaching building, and followed the signs into the examination room.
At a glance, she found several familiar faces in the examination room. They were all her former classmates in Wangchun Art Studio, and there were also a few she had met when she was studying art. After thinking about it for a while, she realized that this was a special session for art students.
From the moment he entered the venue, Lin Xia felt several pairs of eyes on him. After he sat down, he even heard people around him whispering about something, and his name was vaguely mentioned among them.
Just as she was wondering, someone suddenly patted her on the shoulder. She turned around and saw that the boy sitting behind her was not unfamiliar to her. He was a classmate in her junior high school painting studio.
"Zou Jie?"
"Lin Xia, you still remember me!"
Zou Jie chuckled:
"I didn't expect you to sit at the table in front of me. I'm so honored!"
Lin Xia was puzzled: "Honored of what?"
"You took first place in our city's joint entrance exam! How can I not be honored? You also took first place in the high school entrance exam that year, right? You even got into the experimental school based on your academic performance. When my classmates in the art studio found out that you and I had studied painting together, they all asked me about you. You're amazing, amazing!"
Zou Jie gave a thumbs up exaggeratedly and praised repeatedly.
Lin Xia realized something and looked around tentatively. Wherever her eyes moved, whether they were alumni, former classmates, or people she had met during her painting studies, whether they were acquaintances or not, they all nodded and smiled at her.
It turns out that so many people are paying attention to me.
In the liberal arts class of Experimental High School, among the sea of top students in academic subjects, she is a poor student, an outlier, and an unknown little transparent person. But in the circle of art students in Wangchun, she is a benchmark, a myth, and a mountain that everyone looks up to.
Don't be afraid, Lin Xia. Along the way, so many people discriminated against you, looked down on you, and looked down on you, but in the end, you proved yourself with your strength. Even as insignificant as you are, you've achieved so many firsts and so many miracles. Now, you're going to scale the next peak that will be admired by everyone!
Zou Jie was still talking non-stop:
"I heard you went to Beijing to study painting. Which school did you get into? XX University should be no problem, right?"
"That's fine with me."
Lin Xia interrupted him and smiled slightly:
“Let’s cheer together!”
Then, ignoring his glazed expression, she turned back and stopped talking to anyone.
She needs to remain calm and face this test with the best attitude, where thousands of people will have to compete on a single plank bridge and change people's destiny.
.
The 6th and 7th, two days, four exams, all passed in a flash.
Throughout the entire process of answering the questions, Lin Xia was very calm. She didn't feel like a fish in water, nor did she scratch her head because of the difficulty. In other words, she didn't feel anything at all.
After the last exam was over, she left the exam room with the crowd. After she walked out of the school gate, Zhao Qianyi and Lin Xuedong came to meet her. Fearing that it would affect her mentality, they dared not ask until this time, "How did you do in the exam?"
Lin Xia replied: "That's it."
The parents looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Lin Xuedong said, "Let's go eat and celebrate properly."
Lin Xia just shook her head, and Zhao Qianyi also complained:
"What are we celebrating? This hasn't happened yet!"
So the family went back home.
After returning home, Lin Xia fell asleep as usual. She really needed some sleep.
In the few days that followed, Lin Xia lived a very peaceful life. Every day she either ate or slept, returned to school, took graduation photos, or went out to see her classmates, Xu Chang, Zhang Ruinan, and many of her former studio mates, and chatted about what had happened to each other after not seeing each other for so long.
It was like a long recovery, slowly pulling myself out of the inhuman state of life in my senior year of high school and gradually returning to a normal world. The mall, the bookstore, KFC, the cold drink parlor, Wangchun Park, those familiar corners of the city, seemed to have never changed.
However, no matter where they go or who they meet, they all tacitly keep silent about the college entrance examination. That is the depression before the storm. Everything is accumulating energy, waiting for the day when the final result will come.
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