Chapter 3 I want to go back!



She didn't vomit anything, just some sour fluid. After being blown by the wind, her sweat dried, and she felt a little more awake.

"How can you work like this? Forget it, I think you should apply for a transfer. Our class can't afford to keep you here," the class monitor grumbled again.

"Can I be transferred to another position?" Qin Xiaoyu asked curiously. This job was not easy. She had to walk all day long and work three shifts. It was going to kill her.

"Of course you can do it for other positions. Just go to the dyeing and printing industry. They'd be happy to have you," a female worker next to her said sarcastically.

"Dyeing and printing?" Qin Xiaoyu had barely thought of those two words when alarm bells rang in her mind. She saw a large pool of dark gray water and barrels of chemical reagents. Good heavens! This was indeed a good way to end things ahead of time.

Finally, noon arrived, but Qin Xiaoyu realized she still couldn't eat. Her colleagues were all thrifty women who brought their own lunches, each with a huge aluminum lunchbox. When they opened it, all sorts of smells clashed together—it was the smell of the world.

Qin Xiaoyu swallowed hard and began searching her mind for a way to get food.

"Xiao Qin, where's your food?" The class monitor, still soft-hearted, came over and asked when he saw her sitting blankly at the table.

"We've run out of food at home," Qin Xiaoyu muttered.

The lounge fell silent instantly. Qin Xiaoyu felt she had never been so humiliated. It turned out that no matter how tough things got, she always endured it on her own; asking for help was not her style. The pitying looks these people gave her were more humiliating than a slap in the face, and tears involuntarily streamed down her face.

"I brought too much; I can't possibly eat it all." The squad leader immediately picked out two vegetarian steamed dumplings from his lunchbox, put them on the lid, and pushed them in front of her.

"I can't eat this either, I steamed too much rice today."

"This dish is so salty, it's cloying! Here, take it!"

Her colleagues quickly found excuses and managed to scrape together a box of food for Qin Xiaoyu. Two voices were arguing within her.

It would be shameful not to eat it!

Eat up, what are you trying to save face at a time like this? You're starving.

She shook her head. "Screw it, I need to eat first!" To the astonishment of her colleagues, she wolfed down the food in front of her, leaving nothing behind. It was truly a rare delicacy!

"Life is tough for an orphan and a widow," someone sighed softly.

These words struck a chord with Qin Xiaoyu. She hiccuped, but it was the truth.

After lunch, there was still some time, so the female workers found places to lie down and rest for a while, as they would be walking non-stop all afternoon.

"Xiao Qin, what are you planning to do? How about we go to another place? There's an old man named Wang in the team, he's a good guy, just a bit older..." The squad leader, being kind-hearted, started to suggest things for Qin Xiaoyu.

"What do you mean 'older'! Little Qin is only in his twenties, while Old Wang is fifty. He's way too old! He's looking for a father figure!" someone protested, and the room erupted in laughter.

"She has two burdened children, why doesn't she find someone older and less burdened? She already has one family, and now she's bringing in another one. What family can afford to raise them all?" The class monitor's temper flared up, and his voice rose eight octaves.

"That's true. Liu from the second shift of the car-blocking team is remarried. The two of them have seven children in total. They have to take attendance at night, otherwise they won't know which ones haven't come home."

"Yeah, second marriages are just not easy."

"Besides, there's Qin's temper..."

"Go to sleep, it'll be time soon."

Qin Xiaoyu had just eaten her first full meal after her rebirth and was in a good mood, but now they poured buckets of cold water on her, leaving her feeling utterly disheartened. It seemed that life had pushed her to the brink of despair.

If she wants to remarry, she'll have to find an old man, and she might even become a stepmother as soon as she enters the family, raising three, four, five, six, seven, or eight little brats together. That's terrible! She had initially considered keeping Hanhan, but now that she sees it, she thinks it's better to just find a place to settle things and die sooner rather than later. The sooner she dies, the sooner she can be reincarnated. It's better not to live at all in this life.

What chilled her to the bone was that after searching her salary information, she discovered that despite working so hard, she only earned 56 yuan a month, even with perfect attendance. She had been on sick leave the previous month and received no pay. Hoping to escape poverty with her salary was out of the question. Even if she worked in the textile factory until she died, she would still be poor.

"This job is pointless anyway, I should go home while I still have the energy." Qin Xiaoyu only said she felt unwell, and without caring whether the squad leader approved it or not, she pushed her bicycle and left the textile factory.

It seems she needs to come up with a practical solution. I wonder if she can still buy sleeping pills at pharmacies these days? Or maybe she should hang herself? Or get into a car accident… but there are no cars around, the road is deserted.

The textile factory was in the suburbs. Qin Xiaoyu had something on her mind and was lost in thought for a long time when she suddenly realized that the dilapidated factory buildings had disappeared thirty years later and replaced by a large cluster of high-rise buildings.

She nearly threw herself off her bicycle when she squeezed the handbrake. Right, housing prices are so cheap now; she's really living in a good era. She'd read time-travel novels before; didn't all those characters become rich?

But she immediately nipped the idea in the bud.

I'm sorry, but land and houses cannot be bought or sold at this time; they are all state-owned and can only be obtained through government-allocated housing. Besides, even if they could be bought and sold, would she have the money? She's someone who can't even afford dinner, let alone a house? Buying sleeping pills would be more realistic.

She really didn't want to go back to that home. Qin Xiaoyu rode her bicycle aimlessly around the city. Now, her soul from her previous life was intertwined with the remnants of her host's soul, struggling and causing her great confusion.

The host was determined to die, even considering taking her two children with her. Seeing this scene in her memories, Qin Xiaoyu shuddered. If she hadn't been reborn, the host might have become the protagonist of that tragic story of a depressed woman jumping off a building with her two children. Although Qin Xiaoyu was a pushover in her previous life, she had developed a strong mentality from a young age, was highly independent, and possessed a strong will to survive.

So now, one voice in her ear is saying, "Just die." Another voice immediately says, "No! Live well, maybe you can even live a good life. Consider it a new beginning." Caught in this dilemma, Qin Xiaoyu wandered around the city for a whole day.

This is a completely unfamiliar city, with rows of bungalows everywhere and very few high-rise buildings.

Perhaps because everyone was at work, the streets were deserted, and the people were very kind. As darkness fell, the pleasant aroma of burning firewood filled the air, and Qin Xiaoyu's stomach began to rumble again.

A sudden surge of bicycles appeared on the street, instantly engulfing her. It turned out that it was time for the factory to close, and she had no choice but to ride home. Until she could find a solution, that was her refuge.

The gates of the Tang family compound were tightly closed. She struggled to push her bicycle inside. The courtyard smelled delicious; everyone was having dinner.

Her house was deserted and cold; not even a fire was lit in the stove.

"Mom," Hanhan called out as she came out of the main room.

This is Qin Xiaoyu's only connection to the world. She has never had a child and has no maternal feelings for him. They are more like friends who have gone through thick and thin together. Seeing him is like seeing her former self, and there is always a little bit of reluctance in her heart.

"What are you going upstairs for?" Qin Xiaoyu was a little surprised. The old lady was a formidable character, and no one dared to go upstairs without her permission.

"Grandma wants you to come over for dinner." Hanhan said, then turned and ran back.

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