I am Song Fang, Song Lili's younger sister, and I live in the capital with my family.
I am very happy now. But I still think about the past.
I recall that difficult time from my childhood.
I wasn't like this when I was a child.
Because of my mother's death and the fright from bandits, I became different from other children.
I stopped expressing myself; I shut myself off in my own world, and I didn't want to talk to anyone else.
I feel timid and afraid no matter who I'm facing, and I always want to run away and hide so that no one can find me.
No one is allowed near me except my family.
I thought I would live in darkness forever.
However, that's not the case.
I have an older sister who played a crucial role in changing my destiny.
He probably noticed that I was different, so he stayed with me.
During the worst period of my illness, he would stay with me everywhere, whether I was eating, sleeping, or even going to the toilet.
Gradually, I became dependent on her. Whenever she was around, I felt the world wasn't so scary anymore.
So I became my older sister's little shadow, following her wherever she went.
With my sister's help, I started to meet other people.
Although I still didn't speak, I was no longer trembling with fear, and I no longer felt afraid or wanted to hide when I saw others.
Later, I met another woman who changed my destiny.
He was a researcher who came to our village, but he was stranded there due to some issues.
This stay lasted for more than ten years.
And for more than ten years, she has been teaching me.
He taught me cultural knowledge, chatted with me, and told me what the outside world was like.
I gradually began to understand this world. I used the knowledge I had learned to get to know this world, and I also learned about this world from her.
Later, I returned to normal and became like other children.
I am no longer afraid to face the strange looks from others, and I have become a normal person.
At that time, I was very grateful to my sister and Teacher Wu Ying.
Without them, I would probably still be the mute person people talk about.
I lived a very happy life with them.
Later, my older sister got married, but my older brother and uncle were still very good to me. I even got a brother-in-law who was very good to me.
I feel happier now.
Life changed after my brother got married and my sister got married.
Without my sister's protection, I began to understand the hardships my sister-in-law faced in making a living under her sister-in-law's control.
Even though my parents dote on me, they have to make concessions for the sake of peace at home.
My life has started to become much more difficult.
However, I didn't live like that for long, because I had an older sister who loved me very much.
After she learned about my situation, she immediately took care of all my worries and left me money.
He said that if I want something, I can buy it myself and I don't have to live under my sister-in-law's thumb.
It's impossible for me to simply avoid seeing my sister-in-law's expression.
Because I got married, my husband was a sent-down youth who didn't have his own house or place, so he had to live with me at my parents' house.
The sister-in-law's expression darkened even further.
However, having someone with me to endure those disdainful looks made me feel much better.
With my older sister supporting me and putting pressure on my sister-in-law, my life wasn't actually difficult; I just felt a little uneasy.
Later, at my sister's request, my husband and I started learning.
Because we all held onto the hope that one day the college entrance examination would be reinstated, and then we would be able to go to university.
I thought this was a fantasy, but I never expected that it would actually happen.
When we heard that the college entrance examination had been reinstated, we were all excited. Chu Ci hugged me and cried for the first time.
Because neither of us has ever given up, we are full of confidence for this exam.
As we expected, we both passed the exam.
However, she didn't go to the capital with her sister, but to another city, the city where Chu Ci's family lived.
Because I thought that Chu Ci hadn't been home for many years, he should go home to take care of his parents and fulfill the responsibilities that a child should bear.
Unfortunately, my good intentions were not well received.
Chu Ci's parents didn't like me and looked down on my rural background.
So they've never been very nice to me; every time we meet, they're sarcastic and sarcastic.
For the sake of Chu Ci (the Songs of Chu) and for the sake of my child, I endured it all.
It wasn't until Chu Ci and I returned to his home, the moment the child was lost, that I suddenly realized my concessions wouldn't bring good results; instead, they would only embolden the other party.
If that's the case, why should I tolerate it?
Why should I compromise myself to make others happy?
So I acquiesced to my sister's approach. This led to a complete breakdown in relations with Chu Ci's parents, pushing the situation to its lowest point.
I even had the idea of divorcing Chu Ci.
I never imagined that Chu Ci and I would end up getting a divorce.
But at that time, I really thought that way.
I've even figured out how to divide the family property after the divorce.
However, Chu Ci disagreed.
He started following me shamelessly, pestering me relentlessly. He followed me every day, trying to repair our relationship and get back to how things were before.
But with wounds already in my heart, how could I possibly let everything return to normal?
I ignored him and continued with my own plans.
But in the end, I softened because I still had feelings for Chu Ci, and what he did did not disappoint me again.
So I decided to give him a chance, and also give myself a chance.
If we end up on opposite sides again, then I will have no regrets even if we get divorced.
I've reconciled with Chu Ci, but I don't want to see his family again.
Therefore, every Chinese New Year, I would recite the Chu Ci.
"If you want to go home to see your parents, then go back. My child and I will be waiting for you in Ducheng."
I will not stop Chu Ci from taking care of his parents, because that is his own responsibility and the obligation he should bear.
But I won't go with him, I won't go with him to take care of his parents.
Not stopping me is the biggest concession I've made.
The idea of restoring things to their original state simply doesn't exist in my vocabulary.
Because I also have people I respect and people I want to be good to.
I will give the portion that was originally intended for Chu Ci's parents to my own father, my own sister, and my own brother-in-law.
Because they are the ones who are truly good to me, I want to be family with them for the rest of my life.
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