My name is Fang Xiaotao, and I am a girl.
Because I am a girl, I have never been liked by my family since I was a child.
Every day, I faced my grandparents' disdainful looks, my father's beatings and scoldings, and my mother's hysterical cries.
At that time, I felt that my home was a hell, and every day living there meant enduring all sorts of torment.
So I long to grow up, and I look forward to growing up. Because when I grow up, I can leave this home.
Leave this torment behind.
So I endured it all, enduring their beatings and scoldings, their dislike of me, and patiently grew up.
Because my uncle said that adults can make their own decisions.
However, my growth rate couldn't keep up with the speed of family changes.
My family was already broken before I even grew up.
I thought I was going to enter another hell. But I never expected that this time I would enter heaven.
I'm fine with going. I'll live at my uncle's house.
Although I was living under someone else's roof, I was much happier than in my original family.
I have enough to eat and wear every day. My uncle and aunt never hit or scold me, nor do they ever give me the cold shoulder.
I feel especially happy living here.
There's just one downside: my uncle and aunt are a bit too controlling and have too many rules, which I don't really like.
They wouldn't let me grab things, and they even said that I could only eat after the elders had started eating.
At first I was reluctant, because if I didn't hurry, I might go hungry.
Besides, the elders don't like me, and they won't like me if I do this, so why should I do it?
But after being disciplined by my uncle and aunt several times, I gradually understood.
My life will be better if I follow these rules they set for me.
They say a wise person is one who knows when to yield, so I compromised.
I will obey my uncle and aunt's requests. I will listen to them and try to become a good child.
And my uncle and aunt are exactly the kind of people I imagined. Because I've become a better person, they've become even kinder to me.
I never hesitate to spend money on the good food and nice clothes at home.
I have everything that Xiaochen and Xiaohui have, and even things they don't have.
I felt happy in this home.
Later, I became a little envious of Xiaochen because he was able to go to school, play with his classmates every day, and do his homework.
This is something I can only dream of but never achieve.
In the past, only boys in the village could go to school.
My family would never send me to school.
So I always envied them, but I never asked to go to school.
But I didn't mention it, and my uncle and aunt brought it up on their own initiative. They actually wanted to send me to school so I could study.
When I heard the news, I was shocked, but also delighted.
Because I really want to go to school, I want to study like other children, have classmates and friends, and live the life I used to envy.
This is something I never dared to dream of before, but now I actually have the opportunity to do it.
So when my aunt mentioned these things, I agreed without hesitation.
Because I desperately want to change my current situation, I want to be like other children; I don't want to be an outcast among them.
I was able to go to school as I had hoped.
However, because I was much older than my classmates, after a while I began to find it difficult to adapt to this kind of life.
Because, wherever I go, I get strange looks from people.
Gradually, I began to resist going to school, and I no longer had the same joyful and excited state of mind as before.
Later, my aunt noticed my unusual behavior. She found me, but I didn't want to tell her what had happened.
I simply told my aunt that I didn't want to go to school anymore.
I have no idea how my aunt found out.
In the end, he told me, "After school, you can learn from me. I'll teach you everything you need to learn now, and once you've mastered it, you can skip a grade."
I don't know why my aunt arranged it this way. But I still resist it; I resist studying from the bottom of my heart.
Because I don't think he's as wonderful as I imagined.
But I couldn't refuse my aunt's kindness; I simply couldn't bring myself to say no.
So, half-heartedly, I started learning from my aunt.
After finishing my studies at school each day, I would learn the next lesson from my aunt.
My aunt explained it very carefully, even better than my teacher, so I was able to understand it easily.
In half a semester, I learned everything that was taught in a year, and then my aunt started teaching me second-grade material.
After I caught up with all my classmates, I skipped a grade.
Although my classmates were much younger than me, I felt a little more relaxed for some reason.
It seems there was a huge gap between first and second grade, but with my aunt's help, I crossed it.
I don't seem to care as much as I used to when people look at me differently.
My studies never stopped, and my aunt never stopped teaching me how to walk.
So the two of us took turns teaching and learning.
I spent the first two years of my student life skipping grades.
My aunt finally stopped when I entered junior high school and the age gap between me and my classmates had almost disappeared.
He told me that now I can confidently make friends and do what I'm supposed to do.
You are a child, so you should do what children should do.
It was then that I realized that my aunt had always known, always knew what was troubling me.
But he never said it out loud, nor did he tell his family.
They just used tutoring as an excuse to teach me. This helped me gradually catch up with my peers.
It made me no longer feel inferior, and no longer feel like I was the special one.
Only then did I understand my aunt's good intentions.
That day, I cried, but it was tears of joy.
This is the biggest and best gift I have ever received in my life.
It was a gift from my aunt who carefully maintained my fragile self-esteem and kept encouraging me to move forward.
I suddenly realized that I am actually very happy and lucky to have such an elder in my life.
So I've slowly begun to let go of my past and my family.
I feel that I already have a lot, and I can't ask for anything more.
I started going to school and working with my friends. I began to live my life step by step, just like any other ordinary girl.
Go to school, work, get married, have children—it all happens step by step.
This kind of ordinary happiness has always been what I've longed for in my heart.
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