July 5, 2000, Wednesday, Rain

I'm in love.

I never thought that I would go to give Chen Fan an umbrella at night for some unknown reason.

I never expected that Chen Fan would express his true feelings to me on such a rainy night.

That moment.

My mind was totally confused.

I felt that I should refuse.

But in my heart I said no.

Do I like Chen Fan?

To be honest, I kind of understand it.

At least I hate it deep down.

Especially in the past month, Chen Fan has changed a lot.

I found that I liked the feeling of being with him. Very relaxed and happy.

I once told myself that I would definitely fall in love before the college entrance examination.

In my plan, I want to be admitted to my favorite university. Then I want to meet classmates from all over the world on campus, meet a boyfriend who shares the same interests as me, understands me and loves me, and have a memorable campus romance...

Now is the time.

I looked at Chen Fan, who was soaked all over but looked at me with excitement and burning eyes.

I suddenly said no.

I've already rejected him once.

If I refuse again this time, it will hurt Chen Fan.

Or, would it make him give up completely?

If Chen Fan didn't get into the same school as me, wouldn't we have to go our separate ways and never see each other again?

If I lose Chen Fan, will I regret it for the rest of my life?

if……

When I started thinking about these things, I knew that I already had the answer.

"I do!"

When I said these three words.

Chen Fan excitedly hugged me and spun around for several times, as happy as a child.

And I finally breathed a sigh of relief.

It turns out that I have been waiting for this moment.

녦Yes, when did I start to like Chen Fan?

I'm afraid I've figured out my own.

In short, I fell in love today.

This is my first love.

I like Chen Fan.

I hope to be with Chen Fan for a long time.

Even if he gets admitted to Yunhai University, even if we have a different relationship in the future, I am ready.

If... I hope I can wear a white wedding dress and marry Chen Fan beautifully and become his wife...

Oh, Su Ruchu, what are you thinking about? It's so embarrassing!

But, I am really happy today!

…

Seeing this, Chen Fan breathed a sigh of relief.

The above memories seemed to bring Chen Fan back to the summer before the college entrance examination.

For the first time, I understood Su Ruchu's inner heart.

Chen Fan took the notebook, walked to the bed, sat down, and began to read the contents at the back.

There is a lot of content to come, and it is so dense that the entire thick notebook is almost filled up.

From the end of the college entrance examination to the beginning of summer vacation, and then to the enrollment in college... Su Ruchu wrote the most diaries during this period.

Between the lines, you can see the daily mood, thoughts and love of a girl in love.

She would look forward to texting Chen Fan every night before going to bed, look forward to the next meeting, feel happy for their date, and feel happy for a small gift from Chen Fan...

The content after that is what is written in the school.

I still wrote less diaries during the school term, but I could see that I wrote less frequently.

Sometimes the time span is one or two days, sometimes it is a week, and sometimes it takes several weeks...

Apart from the parts related to Chen Fan's love affair, the rest of the content is a monologue from the inner world of a little girl.

The form of the content is also very casual, sometimes it fills a whole page, sometimes it's just a sentence.

Chen Fan glanced over these contents.

In her diary, Su Ruochu would record every moment she spent with Chen Fan, including the small details of various dates. Sometimes, even things that Chen Fan had forgotten, Su Ruochu would write them down in detail.

In Su Ruochu's writing, Chen Fan is a confident, strong, powerful, courageous and careful boy.

Gradually, some changes began to appear in the content of Su Ruchu's diary.

Chen Fan is very good, Chen Fan has a good business sense, Chen Fan makes a lot of money...

At first Su Ruchu was happy because of Chen Fan Gou.

But as Chen Fan became more and more outstanding, made more and more money, and was surrounded by more and more opposite sexes, Su Ruchu suddenly became so confident.

Chen Fan frowned and checked it carefully, confirming that Su Ruchu had this idea since the third day.

Then, when I was about to graduate, this feeling of self-confidence reached its peak.

Chen Fan became more and more outstanding and wealthy, but he loved her too much and wanted to give her the best things in the world.

"In my eyes, Chen Fan is a perfect boyfriend. He is always so considerate and gentle, making me feel like he wants to hold me in his hands and in his mouth."

"I enjoy being pampered by Chen Fan, but I am also stressed and worried that I will lose it all one day."

Su Ruchu, are you really good enough?

Do you really deserve such a great boyfriend?

When Chen Fan saw Su Ruchu raise such questions in his diary, he felt a pang of pain in his heart.

He had never thought that he would bring so much pressure to Su Ruchu.

The confident and beautiful school beauty was influenced by Chen Fan and began to doubt herself.

Su Ruchu had confessed all of this to Chen Fan.

She carefully guarded this relationship alone.

She recorded in detail all the romantic things Chen Fan had done to her during their school years.

Confession, engagement, and choosing to study for a master's degree in order to make oneself better.

At this point, Chen Fan finally understood why Su Ruchu insisted on studying for a master's degree.

It turned out that she tried her best to make herself better and more qualified to stand by Chen Fan's side.

After that, it was the content of the diary during graduate school. The diary became simpler, and most of it was about expressing my longing for Chen Fan during the period of the heterosexual relationship.

This strong girl told Chen Fan all this when she called.

Every time she called, Su Ruochu was always smiling. She had never been naughty with Chen Fan, and she had never lost her temper because Chen Fan was too busy and rarely went to Beijing for a reunion...

This kind and simple girl is protecting this relationship in her own way.

In the last few diaries, Su Ruochu mentioned Wen Wan's existence for the first time.

Seeing this, Chen Fan's expression became a little complicated.

It turned out that Su Ruchu had known about her and Wen Wan's affair for a long time.

But she had never asked me about it, nor had she ever gotten angry with me about it.

"Recently I like a couplet: Stand on high ground, sit in the middle, walk towards wide places. Make the highest wishes, make the highest connections, and enjoy the lowest blessings.

In my life, I originally wanted to marry a man who loved me and then live an ordinary life.

What should I do?

I finally fell in love with an amazing boy.