He looked at Teacher Ruan with an unconscious doting look in his eyes.
When he saw me, he waved at me. I felt very uncomfortable for a moment, but I waved back at him without showing any expression.
Fourth uncle is the most powerful person in the family. He seems very fierce to outsiders on weekdays, but he is very kind to the younger generations in the family.
Especially me.
I lost my father at a young age, and because I was highly valued by Teacher Ruan, he always cared about me more than others, even more than Pei Hehui who followed him.
When I saw him, I felt a strong sense of guilt welling up in my heart.
When I was young, I always thought about the powder that my grandmother put in the wine, and felt that my fourth uncle and fourth aunt were forced. My teacher Ruan had her own ideals in life, and she certainly didn't want to live with my fourth uncle.
But later, I couldn't deceive myself.
Even though they may have been forced at first, later on, their feelings could be seen and felt by anyone with eyes and hearts.
Who am I?
Out of selfish motives, I had no way of telling Teacher Ruan about my fourth uncle's presence nearby. I just followed Teacher Ruan, shouting and dancing like an ordinary junior, enjoying the intimacy she brought me.
After watching the military parade, my fourth uncle looked at me and told me to protect Teacher Ruan and not let her be squeezed by others.
I nodded vigorously to my fourth uncle, holding the chicken feathers as a token of authority, and stayed close to Teacher Ruan, isolating the people around me from outside.
From then on, I slowly gave up the idea of getting close to Teacher Ruan. It's good to keep this love in my heart.
I still haven't found a partner, and my mother started to get anxious and kept asking me what kind of girls I like.
At first I said that I was focused on literature and didn’t want to date for the time being. But as time went on, my mother noticed that something was wrong with me and she asked me if I had someone I liked.
I said yes, but the person I like is already married.
I couldn't tell what my mother was feeling at the time. She started asking around and found my mentor's daughter easily through a classmate who was close to me but was married.
During that time, my mother looked at me with sympathy and pity. She said to me, "Son, it's okay. It was just a pure past relationship. Don't take it too seriously. The fact that you are not together only means that you are not the right one for each other. Listen to your mother's advice and look forward. There will be your future wife and life ahead."
What she said is quite right, but unfortunately she applied it to the wrong person.
I didn't say yes or no, I just told her, "No one can replace her in my heart. Maybe I can let it go many years later, but definitely not now."
After hearing what I said, my mother stopped forcing me. She said she just wanted me to be happy, and she could accept me becoming her daughter-in-law earlier or later.
I am very glad that my mother is becoming more and more reasonable. She did not force me to go on blind dates or force me to be with a girl I don’t like.
On New Year's Eve of the millennium, our whole family gathered together, and Teacher Ruan drank with everyone who came.
I began to find these brothers and sisters who grew up together really annoying. Is this how you respect a teacher? Do you have to offer her wine?
I anxiously protected Teacher Ruan to block the wine. There was a lot of booing around me, and even the words I said when I was a child that I wanted to marry Teacher Ruan were dug up.
No one takes it seriously now.
How could anyone take seriously what children say when playing house?
After dinner in the evening, we all went for a walk in the square to celebrate the New Year. We heard that the fireworks for the millennium were particularly grand, and we were waiting for the brilliant arrival.
But not long after I went out, I found that Teacher Ruan was missing, and my fourth uncle was also missing.
Are they running away again?
I have to say, if I were looking at it from a bystander's perspective, I would at most praise them as a perfect couple, but when I put myself in their shoes, all I could feel was a bitter taste in my mouth.
Pei Hehui asked Xiaoxiu to go play with her sisters, and asked Guohui to come to see me with beer.
The three of us found a place to drink.
Only then did I realize that not only Pei Hehui, but Brother Guohui had also long noticed that I had special feelings for Teacher Ruan.
He said, "I'm your elder brother, how could I not see it? Jianhui, we didn't say anything only because we trust you, and we trust Teacher Ruan even more. We all hope that you can get out of this wrong relationship. She can be your elder, she can be your mentor, but she can't be the object of your secret love."
Yes, it's something that everyone knows, so how could I not understand it? So let's stop here! On New Year's Eve of the millennium, my 30th birthday, I want to give up this feeling that is buried deep in my heart.
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