Not long after my father passed away, my wife became pregnant.
My mother was so happy at that time that she kept repeating, "It's a boy, it's a boy" all day long.
I am also very happy. Who wouldn’t be happy when having a child?
As expected, after ten months of pregnancy, she gave birth to a big fat boy. My mother took good care of my wife during the confinement period. She didn't let her do any work and even gave her eggs to eat every day.
This is one of the best treatments in our village.
When my wife was pregnant with our second child, the conscription order that I had previously ignored came again.
What I thought before was that since I have plenty of strength, it would be nice to join the army and serve my country. But this time I thought differently. If I work hard and grow food, isn’t that also serving my country?
In fact, it was because I already had someone in my heart that I couldn't let go of, and my wife was pregnant. As a man, how could I abandon her and go to join the army alone?
Being a soldier is really a great thing. I heard from my uncles and aunts in the clan that as a soldier, not only can you have enough to eat every meal, but you can also eat meat from time to time, receive an allowance every month, and you can also train to be very strong.
This is the life that many people dream of, but I don’t want to go there.
Even my mother advised me to serve in the army for two years and earn some money so that I could provide a better life for my wife and children.
I knew in my heart that she was doing this for my own good, but I was upset at the time and didn't want to pay any attention to her. I even yelled at her, saying, "If this is a good thing, then why don't you let the second, third, or fourth child go? Why does it have to be me?"
In fact, I didn’t mean to push this matter onto other brothers in the family. I just said something careless in the heat of the moment.
At that time, the fourth child was not yet eighteen years old, and strictly speaking, his name could not be reported. I never expected that in the end, the fourth child would go in my place.
The second son is usually honest, but he also met his wife during that time and was preparing to get engaged. The third son hadn't done yet, but he was usually cunning and his physical condition was not very good.
At that time, I thought that even if it wasn't me who got the chance to join the army, it would be the second oldest child. I didn't expect that in the end it was the fourth oldest child who went.
After knowing the result, I had a big fight with my mother again.
"I knew you wanted to send the fourth child away. Mom, how could you be so cruel? The fourth child is also your son. You treated him badly over the years, and I secretly made up for it. He is not even 18 years old, and his body is not yet fully grown, but you let him go to the army. What if he is bullied there? You are pushing him into the fire pit."
I vented my anger to my mother, and looking at her hurt eyes, I suddenly felt my eyes welling up.
Don't blame my mother, blame me. Blame me for deserting the battlefield. The fourth brother took the blame for me, but I still wanted to find reasons and excuses, thinking that it was not my fault.
I watched my mother walk away with a hunched back and sadness in her eyes, and I became more and more aware of my own excesses.
During that period, I got two full work points every day, and I ate very little. My throat hurt every time I swallowed. It seemed that this was the only way I could make up for the two points I owed to Lao Si.
But I know that it can never be made up for. When I dream at night, I also dream that Lao Si was on a mission and was accidentally stabbed or shot by someone, and then woke up suddenly.
My wife was worried when she saw me like this, and advised me to be nice to the fourth brother when he comes back. She said she would also be nice to his future wife.
I may not believe what others say, but I will definitely believe what my wife says. She is the kind of person who will not lie. Even if she is telling the truth to my mother, knowing that she will roll her eyes or get a slap from her, she will still tell the truth.
With the encouragement of my wife, I picked myself up again.
My mother didn't care about the hurtful words I said at that time, and she was still as nice to me as always. When the whole family didn't have enough to eat, I was the only one who could eat enough.
I felt particularly guilty towards my second and third sons' families, and often took some of the extra food to share with them.
The third brother was cheating at work. I advised him several times and every time he promised me in person that he would not do it again next time, but he did the same thing again the next time.
Later, I found out that he was secretly picking herbs and selling them in the commune, and I never said anything to him again.
My mother has always been partial to me, and as the one who is partial to her, I really can't say anything to blame her. My second son is honest and has always liked to follow me and work silently. I usually leave some extra food for him.
If the third child can earn some money on his own, I will definitely be happy for him. At least when he gets married in the future, he won't be unable to support his wife and children.
After I found out, I helped him hide it. I even secretly followed him to see it. I felt relieved only when I found out it was a legitimate livelihood.
As the time that Lao Si spent in the army increased, the guilt in my heart gradually faded, and only when Lao Si came home occasionally would the pain in my heart be aroused.
I will find ways to be nice to the fourth child, and later I will ask my wife to make him some new, fitted clothes.
Later, the third brother also got married and he and his wife were very loving.
But I think no one's relationship is better than the one between me and my wife.
To be honest, which daughter-in-law has no conflicts with her mother-in-law? In our village, the mother-in-law is always the head of the family, and the daughter-in-law is oppressed at home. Only when the mother-in-law is old can the daughter-in-law be the head of the family.
My mother is indeed partial to me, but because of this, she is somewhat displeased with my wife.
To the second and third sons’ wives, she would at most scold them a few words, but to my wife, as long as she was unhappy, she would pick up anything and hit her.
Although the blow won't be too severe, it still makes me feel uncomfortable.
Maybe this is what people mean by "after getting married, one forgets the mother".
In order to balance the relationship between my mother and my wife, I often asked those men in the village who doted on their wives how they did it.
The main point is to balance the relationship between my wife and my mother. I studied for a long time and finally learned the most reliable one.
My mother thinks that my wife has taken away my place, so she is targeting my wife. Can't I just show my bad relationship with my wife in front of her?
But I have to discuss this move with my wife first, otherwise if she gets angry, I will be the one who suffers.
That night, my wife and I were lying on the bed, kissing each other, and I said to her, "Wife, let's discuss something."
"Tell me what's the matter first, and then I'll see if there's anything we can discuss." Although my wife is direct, she is not stupid.
When she first met me, it happened to be the time of military conscription.
My father was still alive at that time, and she told him directly that she would not marry me if I went to join the army.
She didn't marry me until the conscription was lifted.
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