When my mother passed away, I felt like the sky was falling.
When my mother was still alive, I never felt that I was very dependent on her. On the contrary, as she got older, many of the things she did annoyed me.
Now that she is gone, I feel very confused for a moment. What should I do next? How should I live my life as a family?
Can anyone give me an answer?
After mom passed away, the four of us brothers got together. There wasn't much to talk about, but I felt at ease being with them, and it felt like our family was still together.
In fact, after I learned that I was not my father’s biological son, I was in great pain. Even the fact that the fourth child was not a child of this family made me feel better than me.
After all, he is the adopted son of this family, and he is a cousin of his brothers in terms of blood relationship. He is a member of the Pei family.
What about me?
I even stole this letter from Pei.
Then I understood what my mother meant when she said that she married my father for me. It turned out that she really married into the Pei family for me.
To be honest, when I thought about this matter, I felt very conflicted. I was grateful to my mother and my Xiaowu's father, but I also felt guilty towards my brothers at home, and even a little hatred towards my mother.
As for my biological father, I don't have any feelings for him. Not only did he get my mother pregnant before they got married, putting her in a dilemma, but his family also didn't contribute a single cent to raising me.
After my mother passed away, I went to discuss this matter with my clan members.
The elders asked me if I wanted to return to my biological father's home, but I refused.
I said, "My mother is gone, and it was the Pei family who raised me. I have lived in our village since I was a child. The elders have driven me away, so where can I go? Even if they let me build a new house and live in the village like those outsiders, I don't want to go there."
Later I heard from my second uncle that a relative from my biological father's side came to find me and said he was my uncle and hoped that I could go back to bury my biological father.
It's been so long, and you're just now coming back to find me, your own son, to burn his grave. Don't you think it's ridiculous?
"Next time someone from there comes, just help me reject them. I have lived here since I was a child, and my children and my wife have also lived here. We don't want to move."
Second Uncle sighed helplessly, "When your father was still alive, he always told the clan that no matter what happened to him in the future, whether he was still alive or not, you were a legitimate child of the Pei family listed in the family tree. No one could force you to leave, and you also had the right to inherit his assets."
I couldn't help but clench my fists. After Second Uncle left, I knelt on the ground and slapped myself hard several times.
The reasons why my mother favored me since I was a child and why my father was always more patient with me than with my younger brothers were all explained at once.
My father was afraid that I was not a child of the Pei family. If he didn’t treat me better, I would not be able to bear it after knowing the truth.
But it's not much better now. After learning the truth, I still feel so sad that I can't even cry. It feels like my heart is blocked by something and even breathing has become very difficult.
My wife waited outside for a long time but didn't see me come out. Then she heard some noise inside and ran in quickly.
When she saw me kneeling on the ground with my hands covering my chest, she became completely panicked.
She helped me up from the ground and said, "Da Lang, what happened to you? Are you okay? Take a rest and I'll call the barefoot doctor."
I held her back and wouldn't let her go. After I finally recovered, I told her how I had been feeling over the past few days and then I hugged her, feeling sad and helpless.
In the past, when I didn’t want to face these things, I would go to work. I always felt that as long as I did enough work, I wouldn’t have to think about these things.
But things have been different since I knew the truth. I have to make choices every time. In fact, what I really want is to have a good family, without having to think about so many complicated things, and for everyone to help each other and live a harmonious and beautiful life.
My personality is actually nothing like my mother's. My mother wants to fight for everything, but I don't want to fight for anything.
After hearing what I said, my wife slapped me on the back and said, "Pei Qingsong, you are so capable now, don't you need to take care of me? Don't you need to take care of us children? Who are you lying at home for? Are you going to leave me and the children to starve?"
"If you keep nagging about things that have already happened, do you believe I will spank you? I tell you, I learned how to spank people from your mother!"
She sounded stern when she spoke, but I found it very cute, and I didn't feel so suffocated anymore.
She was right. All the things of the previous generation were in the past. My father had made the best arrangements for me, and I had enjoyed so much. All I needed to do was to fulfill my father's last wish and take good care of my younger brothers.
And for me, the most important thing should not be just my younger brothers. After all, I have a family now, a wife and children. They are the ones I should strive for in the future.
"Thank you, my wife."
All these things piled together eased the grief brought by my mother's passing. The dead are gone, and life must go on.
My three children are at school age. They eat a lot and grow fast, so as a father, I have to take responsibility.
Everyone says my wife earns a lot. She earns a lot, but that’s hers. I can’t use the money my wife earns to support the family.
Then what have I become?
Given the speed at which my wife was making money, my fourth brother's wife took special care of her and gave her a share of the breakfast shop right from the start.
How can I compare with her? Even if I get 10 full work points a day, I still can't make as much as he does in a day, but so what? I earned it through my own hard work, and I have no shame at all.
As long as I can still work, I will still be the head of the family who provides the bread and butter.
As for the money my wife earns, I will not interfere with her whether she wants to save it or spend it. If something really happens to me one day, at least she has the money in her hands to rely on.
From then on, the focus of my life shifted to my wife and children. I didn't need to take care of the third and fourth children, and I would occasionally take care of the second child's family.
The second son was quite ungrateful. After he knew that I was not his biological child, he became even less grateful. He used to only beat his wife, but now I feel like he wants to beat me too.
If beating him up could clear the rift, I would let him beat me without hesitation.
But that won't work. Not only will it not eliminate the resentment between us, it may even deepen it.
I handle our brotherly relationship with the mentality that there is a long way to go. I think that as time goes by, the past resentment will fade, and then we will still be good brothers.
But I didn't expect the second brother to leave so suddenly.
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