The smell of blood gradually permeated between their lips and teeth.
There had never been a kiss as violent, intense, and terrible as this one.
Su Xiaoli was almost suffocated by him, until she could no longer bear the pain on her lips, she pushed Gu Feihan away with force.
Su Xiaoli couldn't help but tremble, and her lips were already a truly bright red.
His pupils were frighteningly black, as if he was looking into a dark void.
Tears slowly welled up in her eyes, filling her entire eye sockets. Everything in front of her gradually became blurry, and the sea water that night rose higher and higher...
Su Xiaoli dropped her shoulders and closed her eyes.
How I wish I could leave this world as I wish.
Disappear completely that night and no longer have to struggle with nightmares and self-doubt.
Gu Feihan seemed to be suddenly awakened from a sleepwalking situation. His heart suddenly tightened as if it had been hit hard, his whole body stiffened, and he couldn't hide his dejection.
The madness in his eyes faded, turning into panic and guilt, like a lion that was full of attacking power but had suffered infinite injustice.
"Xiao Li... I, I couldn't control myself..."
Gu Feihan seemed to muster up 200% of his courage before he dared to speak, his voice trembling.
He didn't expect that he had used so much force just now.
Su Xiaoli finally raised her head, took a few deep breaths, and tried to squeeze out a clear light from her empty eyes.
She wiped the blood from her lips and the tears from her eyes.
"Gu Feihan, that night was just a nightmare." She did not blame Gu Feihan, but put her hand on his hand, interlocking their fingers without any gap.
It was too late to doubt myself now.
Just at the moment when her lips were bitten and bleeding, she seemed to suddenly become much clearer.
Su Xiaoli knew that she was already deeply trapped in it, and she could not drag Gu Feihan into it no matter what.
Regardless of whether her psychological trauma can be healed, the most important thing at the moment is to safely extradite Gu Feihan out of her tension and anxiety.
She tried to keep her tone calm and peaceful.
"I went to see a psychologist several times in Hong Kong Island before. When I first woke up, I could hardly get a good night's sleep."
"From a medical perspective, it is a serious psychological trauma disease."
There was a buzzing sound in Gu Feihan's ears, and he couldn't help but vibrate. He looked straight at Su Xiaoli.
"The whole person has uncontrollable flashbacks to traumatic scenes, insomnia, and nightmares, which are all post-traumatic stress syndrome."
"It's like a brain or body injury, which requires scientific treatment and needs to heal slowly. The more you avoid it, the worse it gets."
Su Xiaoli looked into Gu Feihan's eyes.
Speak in a calm, proper and steady tone, and try to express the matter in a way that is easy to accept.
“The best treatment at the moment is to try to face yourself, so that you can face that negative self.”
"It's just that the treatment was temporarily interrupted after I came back to school. I didn't expect this incident to have such a big impact on you."
She originally didn't want to talk about her struggling state because it was too horrifying.
The reason she told this fact now was not to gain sympathy, but to make Gu Feihan understand that she was trying hard to become the Su Xiaoli she used to be.
The person who used to be in close contact with Gu Feihan.
Gu Feihan's body slowly stiffened, and his hands unconsciously exerted force.
After the anxiety and panic passed, he felt a little regretful and angry.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
The man blurted out, but his tone softened as he spoke, gentle and aggrieved, "It's too hard for you to bear it alone."
In the dim light and shadow, Su Xiaoli was silent for a moment.
After making sure that the beastly fire in his eyes had slowly faded, Su Xiaoli placed one hand on Gu Feihan's cheek.
"In the mainland, psychological problems are almost equivalent to mental illness. I don't want you to worry anymore, but I'm also afraid that I can't explain it clearly."
Gu Feihan was silent for a moment, then slowly said: "How could I miss you so much? This is what makes me most uncomfortable."
His voice was soft and cold, like a sigh.
Su Xiaoli concealed the expression in her eyes and nodded softly, "I'm sorry, I should have told you earlier. Don't be nervous, okay?"
Gu Feihan was silent for a while, and his emotions stabilized, but there was still a bit of urgency in his tone: "If I knew, I would find a better doctor for you, let you persist in the treatment, and not let you give up halfway like you are now."
He began to worry about Xiaoli again, and felt a pain like a needle pricking his heart.
"Well, during this winter vacation, I want to go to Hong Kong Island or Europe to relax and continue my treatment. What do you say?"
Su Xiaoli wanted to end the topic, "The treatment process does require the support of family members, and even more so your support."
The man lowered his eyes, held her in his arms, and nodded.
"I'll go with you, don't worry about it, we'll go find the best doctor, and things will get better."
Su Xiaoli looked up at him, her nose a little sour, "Well, it's great to have you."
It was not until the bedroom door was closed that she slowly leaned against the door panel, unable to hold on any longer.
Except for her own increasingly rapid breathing, everything was desperately quiet.
Su Xiaoli buried her whole body in the bed and buried her face in her small palms, tears slowly seeping out from between her fingers.
The tunnel of time is twisted and connected.
That dark sea and that person were once again passively projected before her eyes, and she no longer had the strength to resist.
Maybe Gu Feihan was right. I should have told him earlier and he should have insisted on treatment.
If the treatment was not interrupted, perhaps her condition would be much better than it is now, and she would not have to have his and Ling Yicheng's shadows overlap again and again.
Chaos cannot be split.
When I was clear-headed, I watched myself gradually go against the beauty of life.
The heavy sense of guilt and recurring confusion made her not know how to love herself or Gu Feihan.
Su Xiaoli was trapped in a narrow thinking space, bumping around but unable to find any way out.
She fell into the abyss of nightmare again.
Although Su Xiaoli said that she would wait until the winter vacation to start the treatment, Gu Feihan was still worried.
Unable to wait for the winter vacation, the day after he talked with Su Xiaoli, he spent a lot of money to hire a psychologist through a friend in the United States and brought him to Beijing in the name of medical exchange.
On the way there, Su Xiaoli was a little nervous.
Unexpectedly, Gu Feihan was more nervous than her. There was a layer of cloud on his handsome face, and the veins on the back of his hand holding the steering wheel were slightly bulging.
Outside the car window, there is a gray sky, brown dead branches, and cold air.
On the one hand, inviting Jason this time was to help Su Xiaoli return to her previous state, but on the other hand, Gu Feihan wanted to relieve the anxiety and fear in his heart.
He was afraid that he would never be able to go back to the past.
He drove the car with one hand and held Su Xiaoli's small hand with the other, with sweat oozing out of his palm.
Su Xiaoli turned her head to look at him, her long eyelashes trembling, and tried hard to force a smile.
The psychiatrist from the United States is named Jason. (End of this chapter)
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