Chapter 139 What did you promise him?
Fu Xijing: "You took the things because you wanted to find him."
His words were still a statement, sharp and firm, and he didn't need her to answer at all.
Song Yi sniffed and said "hmm".
Fu Xijing: "That's why you told Jiang Yuxu to come find me."
He narrowed his eyes and said, "Let me guess, you don't want it now because Jiang Yuxu promised you to find someone for you, right?"
Song Yi suddenly raised his head and looked at him, with panic in his eyes, as if asking him how he knew.
Fu Xijing looked at her expression, raised his hand and rubbed her hair twice, "You think this is hard to guess?"
Song Yi: "...It's not difficult."
For someone like Fu Xijing, it is even easier.
It's just that this revelation came too abruptly, and she never thought it was a topic that could be discussed between the two of them.
Fu Xijing seemed very interested in this matter: "So have you found it?"
"No." Song Yi answered truthfully, "It's not that easy to find a needle in a haystack."
Fu Xijing: "After you find him, have you thought about it?"
"I just want to ask for the reason for my mother." Song Yi's voice was low, but there were no tears. "I want to see if her decades of hard work were worth it."
"That's what you think, right?" Fu Xijing's hand moved to her lower eyelid, stroking it gently, his voice low and slow, "For her, having a daughter like you, she won't care about gains and losses."
Song Yi didn't cry just now, but as soon as Fu Xijing said this, tears suddenly welled up in her eyes.
It just dripped onto his hand.
Song Yi realized that she had lost her composure and was about to raise her hand to wipe her tears, but Fu Xijing had already wiped the tears from her face.
Maybe it was because of the tears that blurred her vision, but she actually saw tenderness and concern in Fu Xijing's eyes.
"Your mother loves you very much. She said she doesn't regret keeping you." Fu Xijing said, "It doesn't matter where that person is now, what he is like, or whether he has let her down."
"If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have to work so hard." Song Yi cried a little irrationally, her emotions pushed to a high point, and her desire to talk increased.
She lowered her eyelids and thought of many things in the past: "If she hadn't given birth to me, she would have had better choices in life. I am a burden. If it weren't for me, she might not have gotten sick——"
"Someone said that to you." Fu Xijing narrowed his eyes again.
Song Yi: "They are not wrong."
Fu Xijing: "Who said that? Do you often hear this kind of thing?"
Song Yi: “Not now.”
Fu Xijing: "That was when I was a kid."
Song Yi didn't answer.
Fu Xijing: "You haven't told your mother?"
Song Yi subconsciously grabbed his sleeve.
Fu Xijing lowered his eyes and glanced at her white knuckles. "You don't dare to say it, right?"
"You're afraid to hear her answer, afraid that she'll really regret giving birth to you."
"...Stop talking." Song Yi interrupted him awkwardly, "I don't want to hear it."
Fu Xijing looked at her red eyes and chuckled: "Ostrich."
Song Yi: "Yes, I am."
"I also know that I'm a coward, otherwise why would I be bullied and threatened by you all the time." Song Yi raised his lip in self-deprecation, "You won't let me go just because you think I'm easy to bully."
Fu Xijing: "You think so?"
Song Yi: "Isn't that so?"
Fu Xijing: "Don't you realize that you like to guess what other people are thinking?"
"You jumped to conclusions without even asking." Fu Xijing used to think that she was only like this to him, but after chatting with him just now, he found out that she was like this to Song Lansheng as well.
So twisted.
"Is your mouth just for decoration? Can't you ask?" Fu Xijing turned around and pinched her chin.
Song Yi: "I'm done. Can you give me the necklace back?"
Fu Xijing was so angry that he laughed, "Okay."
What a good way to put your knowledge into practice.
"Then I'll go cook." Song Yi was a little more sober now, and the first thing he did was to separate from him.
She brushed away Fu Xijing's hand, got up and went to the kitchen to start cooking.
…
Twenty minutes later, Song Yi and Fu Xijing sat down at the dining table again.
There was a bowl of soup in front of Fu Xijing, which Song Yi had prepared for him in advance.
He picked up the spoon and tasted the soup. When he looked up, he saw Song Yi staring at him.
"It tastes good." Fu Xijing thought she was waiting for her opinion.
But Song Yi was not curious about this: "Necklace..."
"Eat, I'll give it to you after dinner." Fu Xijing interrupted her.
Song Yi said "Oh" and picked up the chopsticks to eat rice. He had no appetite.
Fu Xijing was silent for a while, then suddenly said, "Putting aside your mother's relationship, do you want to find him yourself?"
Song Yi froze while eating and remained silent for almost a minute.
Fu Xijing: "You want to find it."
Song Yi stared at the rice in the bowl: "It's been thirty years, he should have his own children, he doesn't need me."
Fu Xijing laughed again, "You know again?"
Song Yi heard his sarcasm and retorted in a low voice: "He hasn't even contacted us."
"How do you know he hasn't looked for it?" Fu Xijing asked back, "Is it impossible that he has been looking for it but hasn't found it?"
Song Yi was choked by Fu Xijing's question and couldn't answer for a long time.
Fu Xijing: "Also, your imagination is that he got married and had children. Maybe he has always been alone."
"Is it possible?" Song Yi put down his chopsticks and looked at Fu Xijing, feeling very unhappy.
She had long known that Fu Xijing liked to go against her, and she usually tolerated it, but she couldn't stand Fu Xijing defending that person. "You said I convicted someone without knowing anything. Your behavior now is no different from mine."
Fu Xijing sensed her sharp emotions and said patiently, "I'm just reminding you that there's no need to be so pessimistic."
"I'd rather it this way." Song Yi opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but swallowed it back in the end.
Fu Xijing had no obligation to listen to her story.
Although Song Yi didn't elaborate, based on the previous conversation, it was not difficult for Fu Xijing to guess the meaning behind her seemingly inexplicable words.
She would rather prepare for the worst and keep her expectations to the lowest so that she won't despair when she gets closer to the truth.
This is a defensive and self-protective behavior pattern.
Fu Xijing stopped and looked at Song Yi, his eyes gradually becoming deep and complex.
People's behavior patterns are determined by the environment; no one is born that way.
Fu Xijing had always thought that Song Yi was just soft-hearted and had no temper, but he didn't expect that she would have a "shadow".
Even Song Lansheng didn't know about this "shadow".
She looks soft and easy to bully, but in fact she is covered with a very thick shell. Submission and obedience are just means to suppress her true desires.
She has become accustomed to avoiding expectations.
Because she was unsure whether she would get positive feedback, she acted without any expectations.
But beneath that thick shell, perhaps only she herself knows how strong her deepest desire is.
Fu Xijing felt somewhat relieved at this time.
Fortunately, Jiang Jiang did not get married.
Fu Xijing finished the bowl of soup in front of him in silence.
At that time, Song Yi's mood was much calmer than before.
Seeing that she had calmed down, Fu Xijing asked her again: "Why did Jiang Yuxu help you find someone? What did you promise him?"
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