Chapter 208: You're also sad about breaking up
Song Lehan turned over, buried his face in the quilt, and sobbed softly.
She has changed from not accepting and not believing it at the beginning to trying to accept it.
The consequence of acceptance is unstoppable sadness.
The sound is faint, but it is somewhat noticeable at night.
Before Song Lehan woke up, Xu Jiangcuo had just finished his work. Thinking that she wouldn't wake up for a while, he went downstairs to drink some water and stretch his muscles.
When he went upstairs again, he vaguely heard the sound.
Xu Jiangcuo thought it was the sound of the cold wind blowing from the snow outside, but when he listened carefully, it didn't seem like it.
He walked towards the bedroom where Song Lehan was, and his voice became louder.
The source has been found.
Xu Jiangcuo walked into the bedroom and came to Song Lehan's side with light steps.
Even so, Song Lehan heard the sound of him coming.
Xu Jiangcuo stood next to her, just looking at her without saying a word.
Song Lehan was tired of crying, so she slowly came out from under the quilt.
"Xu Jiangcuo, can you tell me how my parents died?" She had regained her sanity, and no matter how sad she was, she would not make a big fuss like she did just now.
She was forcing herself to calm down.
Xu Jiangcuo sat on the carpet, his hands on the edge of the bed, and replied in a deep voice: "Auntie first unplugged Uncle's ventilator, and then committed suicide in the hospital."
suicide?
The tears that had originally faded surged up again, Song Lehan's eyes were red, and her voice was hoarse, "My mother... committed suicide?"
"Well, when the nurse found her, she was no longer breathing." Xu Jiangcuo lowered his head and sighed softly, "Auntie wrote you a letter. I wanted to bring it back, but the nurse insisted that you go get it in person."
Song Lehan raised her hand to cover her lips, trying hard not to cry anymore.
At this time, Xu Jiangcuo didn't know what to say to comfort Song Lehan.
No one would be able to accept the death of both parents so quickly.
The room fell into silence, with only Song Lehan's faint sobs heard from time to time.
I don’t know how long it took, but the sound stopped.
Xu Jiangcuo subconsciously raised his head and looked at Song Lehan. Seeing that her eyes were still open, he instantly breathed a sigh of relief.
He thought something had happened to Song Lehan again.
A little light coming in from the doorway brought some brightness into the room.
Song Lehan stared at the ceiling with lifeless eyes, his brain had stopped working, he was not thinking about anything, and he couldn't think of anything.
It's already one in the morning. Xu Jiangcuo hasn't had a good sleep for several days. Today he took Song Lehan away from the villa and did all these things. He is a little overwhelmed.
I feel sleepy.
Xu Jiangcuo yawned and patted himself lightly, trying to keep himself awake.
Song Lehan saw his actions and realized that he had affected Xu Jiangcuo.
"You go to sleep, I, I..."
Song Lehan couldn't finish his words halfway through.
Can she really do it herself?
It doesn't seem to work.
"I'm not sleepy," Xu Jiangcuo insisted, insisting on staying by Song Lehan's side. "It's been a long time since we last met. I want to stay with you for a while longer."
He didn't say, I'll accompany you.
Instead, he told Song Lehan that he wanted Song Lehan to accompany him.
It's him who needs Song Lehan.
Xu Jiangcuo didn't want to put pressure on Song Lehan. After all, he knew Song Lehan best.
If it was for her, she would think too much, feel consumed by internal friction, and feel guilty.
Song Lehan suddenly smiled, "Xu Jiangcuo, you really know me well."
After a pause, she added, "You understand me better than before."
"Why do you say that?" Seeing that Song Lehan had finally diverted his attention, Xu Jiangcuo seized the opportunity and continued speaking.
Song Lehan shook his head. "It's just a feeling."
"When I was in college, I wasn't that happy when I was dating you."
"Of course, for a long time after the breakup, I thought it was great. But as I gradually got over it, I realized it wasn't as good as I thought it would be."
This was the first time Xu Jiangcuo took the initiative to talk about their breakup.
He was a little curious, "Have you ever been sad since we broke up?"
"How can I not be sad? I feel bad too." Following Xu Jiangcuo's question, Song Lehan's thoughts temporarily escaped from sadness and he thought back to the past.
"Although I had already planned to break up, I still felt very sad when I really drove you away."
"At that time, you kept looking for me and didn't want to break up with me. In fact, I was still very happy. I even expected that if we couldn't break up, Jiang Yue would not let me break up with you."
"When I saw you leave completely, I kept praying, hoping that you would come back. If you just look back at me, maybe I would go with you."
"But I've gone too far. You won't come back."
Xu Jiangcuo didn't expect that Song Lehan, who kept saying that he wanted to break up with her, actually thought this way in his heart.
"So at that time, you didn't want to break up?"
Song Lehan thought for a while and said, "It's not that I don't want to break up, it's that I can't bear to do so."
"I can't bear to part with your kindness to me, I can't bear to part with the good times we spent together, and I can't bear to part with..." you.
Song Lehan really couldn't bear to part with Xu Jiangcuo.
Because for her, Xu Jiangcuo really, really, really gave her the ideal love.
He was her perfect lover.
Song Lehan was afraid that after breaking up with Xu Jiangcuo, she would never meet someone like him again.
However, she did not encounter it.
It’s not so much that he didn’t meet her, but rather that Song Lehan didn’t want to meet her.
After the breakup, Song Lehan acted very indifferent, even a little indifferent. However, at certain moments, she would still be stunned for a moment.
This kind of daze will last for a long time at the beginning.
But slowly, it was diluted by time and became very short.
After so many years, even when he met Xu Jiangcuo again, Song Lehan didn't have any big reaction.
Memory can be deceiving.
The pain after the breakup, after meeting Xu Jiangcuo again, actually made Song Lehan have the illusion that she was not sad about the breakup.
"What about you?" Song Lehan asked Xu Jiangcuo, "When you see me with someone else, do you hate me?"
Xu Jiangcuo raised his hand to support his chin and said without thinking, "No."
Song Lehan didn't react much to this answer.
"The only thought in my mind at that time was that you really don't like me anymore."
Thinking of this, Xu Jiangcuo couldn't help but laugh, "I was also thinking, if you really don't want me anymore, what should I do in the future?"
"I sat downstairs of your dormitory all night, my mind full of how I could win Song Lehan back. Then I felt that I couldn't win her back, but then I thought about how we've been together for a long time and still have feelings for each other."
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