Chapter 90 Chapter 90 He couldn’t catch her, nor could he accompany her…
She didn't know what happened next.
I fell asleep in a daze, lost consciousness in a daze, and saw some things from the past in a daze.
She was still young then, only five or six years old, and her eldest sister and second brother were still alive.
Wars were frequent and smoke of war was everywhere. My father joined the army and never came back. My mother died of an epidemic.
The eldest sister dragged her and the second brother all the way to escape inland. They saw piles of corpses, stole tributes from temples, and even robbed the dead's straw mats to block the wind and rain at night.
Later, a man in black took a fancy to the eldest sister and said he would take her to a place where "she would be given food, water and sleep."
The eldest sister didn't want to enjoy the happiness alone, so she took her and the second brother with her.
Only after I got there did I realize that the cold and solemn place was called "The Gate of Rebirth".
The three of them had no idea what the Gate of Rebirth was. They just thought it was a place that urgently needed a doorman to sweep the floor, so they happily stayed.
A few days later, the usually kind and friendly man in black, with a squinting eye, invited them to the arena, saying that "there will be many playmates there."
The eldest sister was already twelve years old at the time and understood some things. She had seen some clues from the faces of the people coming and going in the door, and knew that the game in the arena could not be a relaxing and enjoyable one, so she refused it outright.
"The three of us have no ambition for a glorious future, but only wish to live out our lives in peace. Sir, please allow us to serve as gatekeepers here for the rest of our lives."
After he finished speaking, the man in black who bought them sugar paintings one by one drew his sword and chopped the eldest sister's shoulder in half.
Blood splattered all over the second brother. He was always timid, and at that time, he didn't know where he got the courage from, but he trembled and blocked her behind him, so that she didn't get any blood.
The man in black smiled and said, "Your eldest sister doesn't want to, what about you?"
The second brother's arm, which was lying across her, was shaking, but his voice was steady: "Okay."
The man in black applauded: "You two are quite sensible."
At that time, she didn't understand what her second brother meant by "OK".
He didn't even understand why his second brother took advantage of the black-clad man's back-turn and hit him on the back of the head with the fire poker behind the door.
Of course, my second brother didn’t succeed.
The man in black still smiled kindly, turned around, blocked the fire stick with ease, and glared at her with a pair of eyes as sharp as blades.
Hand climbed up the second brother's neck.
My second brother's head suddenly tilted to the side, as if it was falling off his neck.
The man in black wiped his hands, pinched the soft tendons connecting the second brother's head and neck, and dragged him in front of her.
"And you?"
She looked at her second brother's dazed, tearful eyes, and suddenly understood the last difficult lip movements he made.
"good."
That day, she entered the arena of the Gate of Rebirth and killed each other with two hundred children.
She had never thought that she would have such a hungry wolf-like heart, so indomitable and unscrupulous that even her former self would be afraid.
Just killed it out like that.
By the end of the fight, her right leg was broken, her left arm hung ridiculously on her shoulder like bacon, unable to lift it up, her right eye was bruised and she couldn't even see her opponent in front of her.
In her hand, she held a broken wooden sword, shaking it like a sieve, and pointed it at the opponent in front of her who was much calmer than her.
Clouds obscure the moon.
He was a true martial arts talent, his movements were extremely agile and nimble. Nan Qiongshuang was only six years old at the time, but she knew at a glance that she was no match for him.
However, no matter how clear it is, what needs to be done must still be done.
Even if it means death, we cannot live in weakness.
At the last moment, she clenched the hilt of the sword, which was already difficult to hold due to the blood flowing out. She gritted her teeth, held it with both hands, and said to Yun Manyue, who was relaxed and calm in front of her, "Come."
On the high platform, beneath Mu Shanzi's veil, a long-haired figure raised his hand:
"The girl is good-looking and ruthless. Although her skills are not good enough to enter the Seven Killings Hall, she is very suitable for the Paradise Hall. Why don't you make an exception and let her stay with me?"
In this way, she entered the Paradise of Rebirth and became a psychological assassin.
From that time on, her life was just three words.
Survive.
Stand up and live.
Even if she had to step on the corpses of others, or betray the whole world, or even if she had to be scolded by her stubborn elder sister in the afterlife.
Stand up and live.
Now think about it, she has done everything along the way just to survive.
Those who believed in her were betrayed by her, and those who doubted her were eliminated by her.
Those who did not love her were killed by her, and those who loved her were also killed by her. Those who she wanted to die died for her, and those who she did not want to die also died for her.
Her life is not something that can be thrown away so easily now.
She had done so much to survive.
There was no turning back for her.
Do you think, Nan Qiong Shuang, that you can stop at this point?
It's too late.
She closed her eyes, tears and blood trickling down her cheeks.
Suddenly, a voice that she was very familiar with called out sadly in her ear.
"Bright..."
It was like a sigh, distant and vague, like a drowning person, dying, hearing the cries of those on the shore.
Unfortunately, we were too far away, arrived too late, and we didn't know each other. The kind of concern that everyone could show was not enough to move her.
She didn't want to wake up.
What's more, even her name was called wrong.
Where is there a person named Jiaojiao?
She was drowsy and fell asleep again.
When I woke up again, two people were talking in my ears.
An old man and a young man were discussing her condition in fragmented voices.
"...even if it takes another Huiyuan Pill, it's worth it. Please, sir..."
"I know, I know. Young Master, please don't worry too much. Your own heart disease..."
"I'm fine. Just please sir..."
Now, she feels heartbroken when she hears that voice and doesn't want to listen to it.
He closed his eyes and submerged his consciousness underwater, drifting away with the waves.
Then, suddenly, there was a loud sound of gongs and drums, firecrackers blasted, and with a bang, fragments of gold foil flashed and sprayed out from the salute. She was sitting in the swaying sedan chair and was so startled that she dodged for a moment. The pearl on the phoenix coronet caught a gold thread on the veil.
Everything was red, festive. The place was bustling with activity, countless people clapping and roaring outside her sedan, laughter cascading down their spines. She twirled the wide jade bracelet on her wrist and raised her eyes nervously.
Is she getting married?
The sedan slowly landed on the ground, and the curtain was opened by a slender, jade-white hand. The person said in a gentle voice:
"Bright."
Her heart rumbled.
The hands on his knees clenched: "Gu Huaijin...?"
Gu Huaijin was outside the opened sedan chair curtain, leaning over and smiling at her: "Come down."
She blinked, and a tear suddenly rolled down and fell into her collar.
Holding his hand, she got out of the sedan chair.
Worship in the hall, drink wine to congratulate the groom, and enter the bridal chamber.
Once inside the bridal chamber, everything finally quieted down. The guests' cheers and the clamor of the feast were now blocked out, leaving only a bright lamp within, flickering and swaying, filling the room with light.
The sound of the candle burning is soft.
Under the veil, she closed her eyes.
"Finally, there are only two of us left." He said with a smile, "Jiaojiao... let me look at you."
He carefully lifted up the red veil that was dimly lit by candlelight in front of her eyes.
Gu Huaijin was wearing a wedding dress, with a smile on his face, and he lowered his head to look at her carefully.
The groom's suit was bright red, an extremely bright color, and she had never seen him wear it before.
But he was handsome and dressed appropriately. Too appropriately, even, making him look even more like a white jade.
He didn't know what she was thinking. When he lifted the veil half an inch and met her eyes, he felt as if drunk. His long eyelashes drooped and he didn't say a word for a long time.
The veil slipped off silently. He closed his eyes, sighed, and pressed his lips against hers helplessly.
"Bright..."
That name made her heart twist.
She twisted the veil between her fingers and moved back half an inch.
He opened his eyes in a daze, his eyelashes pressing against his eyes.
He rubbed his nose against hers, cupped her face with his hands, and nuzzled her affectionately: "What's wrong, Jiaojiao?"
He murmured, "If you marry me, you will be free and safe. You don't have to be afraid."
She was shaking more and more uncontrollably.
He held her hand, which was as stiff as a dead person's, closed his eyes and kissed her again, his lips pressed against hers, his noses pressed against hers, his breathing shallow:
"If anything happens in the future, I will bear it with you."
The dragon, phoenix, and wedding candles swayed together for a moment.
He said softly: "Even if the sky falls, I will still be here."
She was crying so hard that she almost had a convulsion.
"Actually, I..."
"Actually, she's a spy who came to kill you." Wu Dao showed a row of white teeth as neat as pomegranate seeds, his black eyes rolling around, and he squatted between him and her like a dog:
"She killed Song Mei, she let Song Yaojie go, she provoked Li Xuanbai, and she stole the Yin-Yang Key. As for you, she seduced you intentionally."
"Next, she will take your Tianshan Mountain's guardian jade token—" He smiled, and tapped Gu Huaijin's chest with his rolling-pin-thick fingers: "—and your heart."
She stood frozen in place, her whole body cold, so cold that she would almost break if poked.
"Also, her name is not Chu Jiaojiao."
Wu Dao smiled, whispered in his ear, and the breath he exhaled was like the salivating breath of a vicious dog:
"—it's been so long, and you don't even know her name."
She watched as Gu Huaijin's eyes changed when he looked at her.
Her chest heaved up and down, and she looked like she was drowning even though she was clearly on land.
"Huai Jin, listen to me..."
"Are you a spy?" he interrupted her. "A spy? Like my father's lover?"
His expression suddenly became so strange.
"Like the spy who killed my brother? Like the spy who angered my mother to death? Like the spy who destroyed my family and caused my father to remain in seclusion until now?"
"You said you loved me and cared about me, but you wanted to kill me? You wanted to destroy my family's centuries-old legacy? You wanted to ruin my life, right? Jiaojiao?"
"I love you so much, I'll give you everything, I'll agree to everything. For you, I'll be whipped, I'll give you miraculous medicine, I'll even not have to be the young leader—"
Her eyes were so blurry that she couldn't see anything clearly.
"No, Huaijin, listen to me..."
The rest of the words were suddenly stuck in my throat.
She even breathed softly, and the tears hanging on her long eyelashes fell down. She lowered her eyes and looked at the sword blade stuck in her chest.
The bright snow front reflected the word "囍" pasted on the stained glass window.
Bright red, bright red, bright red like blood.
Her blood spread on her bright red wedding dress, like a flower slowly blooming.
The blood on the wedding dress was hidden too deeply and too obscurely, just like her heart, even she herself could not make it out.
She didn't want to say anything more. Now that things had come to this, there was no need to talk about anything anymore.
With tears in her eyes, she looked at the man who had been swatting mosquitoes for her all night and peeling lychees for her one by one, and who had been heartbroken for a long time because of her cold words. With a vicious and resolute "swish", he pulled out the half-broken sword blade from her chest.
"I've already said it, I've been ruined by spies from outside the mountain for the first half of my life. If I were to run into someone who doesn't know his own limitations again—"
His face was gentle, yet fierce enough to frighten her:
“—I will never show mercy.”
She opened her eyes wide, gasping for breath, and woke up.
The person beside the bed held her hand: "Jiaojiao?"
Her face was expressionless, cold tears slid down from the corners of her eyes and poured into her ears, making a muffled and damp sensation.
In the blurry vision, there is the bed curtain with auspicious cloud pattern of Mingyue Pavilion.
She was exhausted and at the end of her strength, and she blinked woodenly.
Gu Huaijin held her face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs against her jaw, looking almost grey and haggard.
"Jiaojiao, you're awake."
She was ill and he lost weight.
She took a look, turned her head calmly, and closed her eyes tiredly.
"Are you feeling better? Does your head still hurt?" He leaned over, stretched out an arm from under her cervical vertebrae, hugged her, and kissed her gently on the forehead, "I'm back. I'm here."
"Even if the sky falls, I'll still be here."
She smiled palely, turned her head away a little, and said nothing.
"Is your head still hurting? If it hurts, hold on to me, don't be afraid." He frowned and rubbed his eyebrows against her forehead, "I'm here."
She didn't respond.
Gu Huaijin thought she was too tired from being sick to care about him, so he kissed the tip of her nose and said, "Sleep a little longer, dear."
She tilted her head towards the couch and said nothing.
She was too tired to think about anything.
Gu Huaijin didn't go anywhere that afternoon. Documents piled up like a mountain on the windowsill. He only picked out a few with red bookmarks and read them. Then he returned to the couch and held her hand.
It was as if she was a butterfly about to fly away with the wind, and if I took hold of her hand, I could catch her.
She lay on the couch, thinking exhaustedly.
He couldn't catch her, nor could he stay with her.
*
I don't know how she cured the poison of the seven-black fragrant wood.
Perhaps he used his authority within the mountain to feed her a Huiyuan Pill.
She didn't know. He never talked about what he had sacrificed, so she was happy to pretend she didn't know.
Now, she didn't even want to hear what he had done for her, how he had worried about her, and how he had been distracted by her.
What if I listened to it? A person who was deceived.
He doesn't love her, or he doesn't love her.
He's just stupid.
So, looking at him standing by her bed, with those slender hands that always decided the important affairs in the mountains, peeling the red lychees for her bit by bit, she was not moved at all.
Gu Huaijin handed the round, translucent lychee flesh to her lips.
She looked gloomy and turned her head away.
He sighed, "Why don't you even eat lychees? You should eat at least a little. How can you get better like this?"
She was too lazy to respond and closed her eyes.
The cool flesh touched her lips: "Be obedient."
She laughed and said, "You even control what I eat."
"What do you mean you even have to control what I eat?" He was caught off guard by this. He never dreamed that she would be so sarcastic. "Shouldn't I be in charge? You're sick and you won't even eat. Am I going to let you ruin yourself like this?"
She glanced at him with a smile and said nothing.
Do you know who is in front of you?
I didn't even know this, but I fell in love with her at first sight.
She didn't know what she was angry about, she just thought the person in front of her was stupid.
She used to be glad that he was stupid, but now she hated his stupidity.
She looked away.
The lychee flesh was brought to her lips again.
"What's the matter with you? They say you fell into the lake. When we built the swing for you, we told you not to set it up near the lake. What if you fell in? They wanted to come and get me when they heard you fell into the lake, but you refused. What on earth are you thinking?"
The uneasiness that had accumulated for several days could no longer be suppressed. He turned her face and forced her to look at him.
"You don't take care of yourself, do you? You don't take yourself seriously, do you? When I'm not around, you don't know how to take care of yourself. You asked you to come down with me, but you refused, even though you knew I missed you—"
He took a deep breath and realized that she was too calm, making him look like a person with unpredictable moods. He felt depressed and stopped talking.
He didn't say anything, and she felt relieved now.
But Gu Huaijin couldn't stand this kind of silence.
After a long moment, he cautiously touched her cheek, nervously turned her chin a little, and coaxed her:
"You Hongchun's poison should have been cured long ago. What kind of poison is this that's killing you? Mr. Qu Shu came here, but he couldn't explain it clearly. Do you know what's going on? Tell me."
She didn't want to be treated kindly by him anymore, and said calmly, "It's just a small matter, there's nothing to worry about. I didn't take it seriously, why are you so anxious?"
He raised his eyes in disbelief, coughed twice in anger, and covered his chest.
She then remembered that when she was half asleep and half awake, Qu Shu said that the centipede poison had caused her heart disease.
She glanced at him casually, then looked away.
"What on earth is pissing you off to me?" He coughed twice and swallowed hard. "You've been acting strangely since you woke up. You won't even talk properly. Or have you been unhappy since the day I went down to the meeting?"
"What's wrong? Did I do anything to upset you?" He gently turned her head back, "If you're unhappy, just tell me. Why keep it to yourself?"
explain?
If she had said it, she would have said it long ago if she still had a life.
You're the Young Master of Yishan, and you're as big as Wu Dao, following me around like a shadow. Didn't anyone on this mountain notice?!
She closed her eyes and was too lazy to speak.
The less she spoke, the more uneasy he felt.
She changed so quickly. After not seeing him for a few days, her attitude completely changed. She became strange and distant, and it seemed that she didn't even want to look at him.
He was most afraid of her being like this. Every time she turned away with a cold expression, he felt as if he had never known her.
Wasn't she fine before leaving? She even leaned on his arm and acted like a spoiled child, saying that Chaoyao Peak was too high and she was too scared to go there?
If he had known that she would fall into the lake again and fall ill as soon as he left, and that she would still ignore him like this when he came back, he would have taken her away no matter what.
She was too fickle, with such a temperament - he would only feel at ease if he watched her every day, tied her up every day, and coaxed her every moment.
"What do you mean? Why don't you speak? Jiaojiao," he leaned close to her nose, staring at her, not allowing her to hide any longer, "Speak. Why, you don't like me anymore? Things have come to this, we're going to get engaged in a few days, and you want to tell me you regret it, right? Jiaojiao--"
He closed his eyes, leaned over to bite her lips, "You can't regret it. I'm telling you, you can't. It's too late to say anything now."
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