Chapter 40: Broken Body and Soul, the Determination to Die Begins
The candlelight grew dimmer, as if it would go out along with Yun Zhi's breath. She curled up on the bed, the quilt beneath her already soaked with blood. Dark red stains trickled down the edge of the bed, "tick, tick" landing on the blue bricks. The sound was particularly piercing in the dead silence of the room, like a death knell tolling in the heart.
The excruciating pain in her abdomen continued, like countless blunt knives churning it repeatedly, each twitch causing her vision to go dark. She could clearly feel the tiny life that had been within her for two months slipping away bit by bit. It was the anticipation she'd felt while secretly sewing the bellyband, the worry she'd whispered to herself at night, the only light she had in this cold palace. But now, that light had been snuffed out by Xiao Jin himself.
"My child... my child..." Yun Zhi's voice was as weak as a mosquito's, barely audible. She reached out to touch her belly again, but her fingers felt heavy as if filled with lead. They dropped powerlessly mid-air, landing on the bloodstained quilt. Her tears had long since dried, leaving only a red, swollen, stinging pain in her eye sockets. But the pain in her heart was a thousand times greater than the pain in her eyes.
The door was gently pushed open, and Xiao Jin's footsteps entered. He had originally wanted to confirm whether Yun Zhi was "behaving well," but as soon as he stepped into the room, the strong smell of blood rushed into his nose, making his heart suddenly shrink. He looked up at the bed, and when his eyes met the glaring blood-red, his pupils suddenly contracted and his feet froze in place.
He had seen blood countless times, on battlefields, on execution grounds, but never before had he felt suffocated like he did now. Yun Zhi, like a dead leaf battered by a violent storm, huddled in the bloodstains, her face as pale as paper, her lips devoid of color, even her breathing so weak it was almost imperceptible.
"You..." Xiao Jin tried to speak, but his voice was so hoarse that he had never heard such a tone before. He subconsciously took two steps forward, wanting to touch her, but his hand stopped in mid-air - he didn't dare to touch her, afraid that if he did, he would confirm the fact that made him panic.
Yun Zhi seemed to hear his voice and slowly opened her eyes. Her eyes no longer held the despair and pleading they had before, now filled with a dead, gray gloom, like a snow-covered wasteland devoid of life. She looked at Xiao Jin, not crying or scolding, but simply watching him quietly, a sight that made Xiao Jin inexplicably uneasy.
"Xiao Jin..." After a long moment, Yun Zhi slowly spoke, each word coming out of her throat like it was squeezed out, carrying the smell of blood. "Look... our child... is gone..."
The five words "our child" burned Xiao Jin's heart like a red-hot iron. He turned his eyes away, not daring to look her in the eye again, but still insisted, "Don't talk nonsense...it's just..."
"Just what?" Yun Zhi interrupted him, her voice suddenly rising a few notches with a desperate determination, "Just the bastard child of Xie Heng and me? Xiao Jin, you still refuse to believe me?!"
She struggled to sit up, but the severe pain in her abdomen made her gasp. She could only lean against the headboard and stare at Xiao Jin. "I'm telling you, this child is yours! It was you who replaced the tonic medicine for me and neutralized the abortion soup, so I could get pregnant with him! I hid from you because I was afraid you would hurt him; I hid it from you because I was afraid you couldn't tolerate him! But what about you? You didn't listen to my explanation, you didn't believe me, you fed me the abortion medicine with your own hands, and you killed your child with your own hands!"
Her voice grew louder, practically a roar, her chest heaving violently, each breath piercing with pain. Xiao Jin's entire body trembled at her roar. All the details he had deliberately ignored—the confinement two months prior, Xie Heng's inability to get close, Yun Zhi desperately protecting her abdomen—all came flooding back to him, like countless needles piercing his heart, drawing blood.
"I shouldn't have trusted you in the first place... I shouldn't have had any hope in you..." Yun Zhi's voice dropped again, and the determination in her eyes grew stronger and stronger. "Xiao Jin, you destroyed my family, killed my relatives, and now you've killed my child... You owe me, and I can never repay you in this life or the next!"
She stretched out her hand, trembling, pointing to the door, her voice devoid of warmth: "Go away. I don't want to see you again. From now on, there is no more friendship between you and me!"
The words "broken off" were like the final straw, breaking the indifference barrier in Xiao Jin's heart. He suddenly looked up at Yun Zhi, wanting to retort, but found himself speechless. He saw the death in her eyes, the blood beneath her, her trembling breath, and suddenly a sharp pain shot through his heart, worse than an arrow shot on the battlefield, the pain so severe that he could barely stand.
He wanted to say, "That's not the case," wanted to say, "I regret it," but the words were on the tip of his tongue, and he couldn't say them. He could only freeze in place, watching Yun Zhi's body soften bit by bit, the light in her eyes completely extinguished, like a burnt-out lamp.
“Girl! Girl!” Qingzhu, who had been guarding the door, finally rushed in. Seeing the bloodstains on the bed and the unconscious Yunzhi, he turned pale with fear. He rushed to the bedside and shook her desperately, “Girl, wake up! Don’t scare me!”
Yun Zhi didn't react at all, even her breathing became increasingly weaker. Qing Zhu raised his head, staring intently at Xiao Jin with red eyes, his voice filled with anger and despair. "Your Highness! Why did you treat this girl like this? Why did you kill her child? Do you know this is her only hope?"
Xiao Jin didn't answer, nor did he move. His gaze was fixed on Yun Zhi's lifeless face, her pale lips, her swollen eyes, the glaring blood-red beneath her. The ache in his heart grew clearer and more intense, nearly swallowing him whole.
For the first time, he realized that he might be wrong. So wrong, so wrong, so irreparable.
Qingzhu was still crying, the candlelight was still flickering, the smell of blood was still in the air, but Xiao Jin felt as if the whole world had stopped. All that remained in his mind was Yun Zhi's final words: "Xiao Jin, I remember the pain of today. From now on, we are no longer connected..."
He stood there, watching Yun Zhi cry out in Qing Zhu's arms, watching the bloodstain beneath her grow larger and larger. For the first time, a feeling of panic welled up in his heart. He was afraid that Yun Zhi was dead, afraid that she would never see him again, afraid that this "severance of ties" would become a regret that could never be made up for.
But he didn't know that this regret was already etched into his bones. What he destroyed with his own hands was not only an unborn child, but also Yun Zhi's last shred of affection for him, and their only chance of turning back.
The prelude to the crematorium of his wife's pursuit officially began in this bloody and deadly silence. What Xiao Jin was about to face was Yun Zhi's complete indifference, endless regret, and a punishment more painful than killing him.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
