Chapter 69
Since I was born, I have never had a good life at home.
Being with your dad is the best thing I've ever done.
He's dead, I've wanted to die for a long time...
Your grandmother passed away and you grew up.
I'm leaving.
......
Yang Bing's cultural level is not high, but he made his point clear.
Just a few strokes express her true thoughts.
Lin Jiu lowered his head and looked at the black words blankly, sighed lightly, and remained silent.
It seems that everything has clues.
The long-lost grandparents, Yang Bing's shaky attitude towards life, and his mood swings over the past few days...
Not long.
The doctor left the operating room and shook his head at Lin Jiu, the relative, and said, "I'm sorry, we tried our best."
The village party secretary and the neighbor aunt watched Lin Jiu grow up. They surrounded her lovingly, comforted her and asked her to mourn.
Lin Jiu had already anticipated the result.
She didn't cry, her face was calm. She bent down and bowed to them, asking for help in taking care of the funeral.
The village party secretary and the neighbor aunt quickly nodded in agreement.
Lin Jiu found a nearby bank, transferred the money to his own card, and withdrew the money needed for the funeral.
After Yang Bing was cremated, she took the box home.
The house is lively again.
With the help of the villagers, the funeral went on in an orderly manner, and Lin Jiu only needed to pay for the purchases.
Fortunately, she is not short of money.
The family had left her some money. In addition, Chen Miao had transferred a lot to her over the years. She was not materialistic, and the money she had saved was enough to buy several houses in the local area.
After paying the money, there is always someone who takes the initiative to drive to town to buy things.
When he had some free time, Lin Jiu returned to his room and closed the door.
She sat on the bed and called Chen Miao.
The call was connected in about half a minute.
Lin Jiu didn't know where to start and remained silent.
Chen Miao asked, "What happened?" The sound insulation was poor, and the funeral music outside the house reached his ears through the phone.
Lin Jiu said briefly: "My mother passed away."
Then she told Chen Miao everything that happened in the morning.
After listening quietly, Chen Miao immediately said, "I'll come find you."
"No." Lin Jiu said firmly, "You don't have to come over, I can handle things here." She was extremely stubborn about this matter.
Chen Miao couldn't help but sigh, "I'm your boyfriend, I should be by your side in this situation."
Lin Jiu lowered his eyes and grabbed his pants with the hands on his legs.
After a moment, she said, "It is precisely because you are my boyfriend that I called to tell you this. Right now, you are my closest person. You have the right to know. Telling you this is the minimum respect I can give you."
"Ajiu, I hope I can be with you when you need me the most."
Lin Jiu fell silent. She rarely told Chen Miao about her family affairs, and she also hoped to face them alone.
After a few seconds, she called out to him.
"Chen Miao."
"Um."
"Do you believe me?"
"I always believed in you."
"So..." Lin Jiu paused, "I hope you'll let me solve it on my own."
“…”
Lin Jiu called him again: "Chen Miao."
"Yeah." Chen Miao responded patiently.
"I'm a grown-up."
Lin Jiu added: "I'm not that fragile."
Chen Miao said: "This does not conflict with my accompanying you."
Lin Jiu stood up, opened the door, and looked straight at the coffin in the main room.
Amid the clamor, she raised her voice and said, "Although we are far apart, in my heart, you are always by my side. Your presence itself gives me strength, regardless of any form. So, you don't have to come over."
Suddenly, a neighbor lady outside the door looked at her, as if she had misheard something and thought she needed help.
Lin Jiu waved his hand to indicate that everything was fine, and the neighbor lady walked away, busy with her work.
Lin Jiu covered his mouth with his hand and said to Chen Miao on the other end of the phone, "Besides, I just went through a funeral and have a lot of experience. If you come here and don't understand how funerals are handled in the countryside, you will only cause trouble for me and distract me."
Faced with her obvious disdain, Chen Miao fell silent. He didn't get angry either, but humbly asked, "...What can I do?"
Lin Jiu thought seriously for a few seconds, then said, "Either give me money or help me. If you must help, just give me some money."
Chen Miao didn't ask her how much she wanted, and whispered, "As you wish."
After the phone call was hung up.
Lin Jiu received a bank text message on his phone, which contained a huge seven-digit sum of money.
......
The next day.
Big red firecrackers rang outside.
Lin Jiu went out to greet people and found that they were two uninvited guests.
Uncle and aunt whom I haven't seen for a long time.
I don’t know where they heard the news, but they actually came to my house.
Lin Jiu frowned calmly, walked forward politely and called out "Uncle" and "Aunt".
As per custom, she led them to kneel in front of her mother's coffin, kowtowed three times, and burned some paper money.
Perhaps because he felt that Lin Jiu's purpose of coming here was not pure, his uncle specifically gestured to Lin Jiu to go to the room.
The three of them entered the room where her mother lived before she died.
There happened to be an empty red plastic stool in the room, and several people sat facing each other.
Lin Jiu sat on one side, and the couple sat next to each other.
There's a sense of confrontation.
The uncle looked at Lin Jiu's tender little face and said in a friendly way, "I didn't expect that our Lin Jiu has grown up. She used to be a little girl, but now she is as tall as your aunt."
Lin Jiu lowered his head, holding the phone, and replied calmly, "Since I was a child, our two families haven't been around much. I haven't seen each other for many years, so it's normal for you to have changed a little. If my uncle and aunt hadn't come today, I would hardly recognize you."
My uncle touched his nose and glanced to the side.
My aunt reached out to hold Lin Jiu's hand, but Lin Jiu didn't respond and clasped his hands between his legs.
After coughing, my aunt finally explained her purpose. "You're the only one at home now, and we're worried that you'll be cheated by others because you're still young."
As she spoke, she moved closer to Lin Jiu and lowered her voice, saying, "Many people will take the opportunity to make some money during funerals. Why don't you give the money to your uncle and me, and we will help you manage it."
Lin Jiu looked at his aunt in surprise. He never expected that she would not even pretend and go straight to talking about money.
Suddenly, Lin Jiu frowned in a rather artificial way, lowered his head, bit his lip, and said awkwardly, "My grandma just passed away a while ago, and I spent a lot of money. I have about 10,000 or 20,000 yuan left. Then my mom also lost all her money. I have almost spent all the money in the past two days. I also borrowed some from the neighbors. I don't know when I will pay it back."
She looked up at her uncle with hope. "Uncle, you're my only family. I have to go to school after winter vacation, and I was worried about living expenses. But I never added your contact information, so I didn't know how to contact you. It just so happens that you came here today. I wonder if I can borrow 5,000 yuan from you?"
Hearing this, my uncle hesitated and said nothing. My aunt scratched her head and stared at the ground.
Seeing this, Lin Jiu immediately promised: "When I graduate from university and earn money, I will definitely return it to you without missing a cent."
uncle:"......"
Seeing how useless he was, his aunt immediately asked Lin Jiu, "Did your father's compensation run out so quickly? Not a penny left?"
Lin Jiu sighed heavily. "My dad's compensation wasn't much to begin with. Grandma needs medicine every month, and we have to pay for my education. Our family has never had much income, and we're lucky to have been able to save money until now. How can we have any money left over?"
Seeing her honest face, her aunt felt that she was not lying. Without saying anything more, she nudged her husband with her elbow.
The person who was stabbed immediately said, "It's not that we don't want to borrow, it's just that we don't have any money. Two thousand is already a lot."
Lin Jiu pretended to think, and after a few seconds he said, "It's fine if you can borrow two thousand. At worst, I can save the money for school."
uncle:"......"
My aunt slapped the people around her and started complaining, "Ever since your grandparents passed away, life at home has been getting worse and worse. And your uncle still plays cards and has lost all his money. Your cousin also needs to go to school, so he can't spare the money. It's not that we don't want to lend, we just don't have the money."
Lin Jiu was silent. He glanced pitifully at the two people opposite him, pointed at his phone, and lowered the amount: "How about we add each other on WeChat? I'd be happy if you could lend me a few hundred. I can borrow the rest from the villagers."
Hearing this, my uncle laughed dryly and walked out like a sickly willow tree being dragged by his wife. He turned around and said to Lin Jiu, "We didn't bring our phones. We'll add you next time... next time."
Lin Jiu slowly chased after them and said at an arm's length, "Why don't we eat here and talk later."
The two men rode electric bikes and disappeared from sight.
Lin Jiu looked at the road expressionlessly. He didn't expect these two people to be so easy to deal with.
......
After lunch, the villagers packed up their food and dispersed.
Lin Jiu locked the door.
Then she dragged a snakeskin bag of paper money to Yang Bing's grave.
Firecrackers were set off and wine was poured.
Lin Jiu found a flat stone nearby, put it on the ground, pulled his down jacket up to his waist and sat on it.
She lowered her head and watched the flames grow in silence. She burned a few stacks of paper money and then spoke incessantly to the empty grave.
"There's no one home anymore, and I don't think it'll be easy for me to come back. While I'm still here, I'll give you some money. I don't know if it will be of any use, but just assume it is."
"Congratulations, you finally got your wish and got to spend time with my dad. You've made up your mind, I respect your choice and I'm happy for you."
"Like you said, I'm grown up and can take care of myself. So, I'm not too sad about your leaving. But I didn't expect that I meant so little to you. You left so hastily, without hesitation."
"In the past, I always wondered whether you loved me or not, but later I gave up and didn't care anymore."
"There's one thing I'm really grateful to you for. You raised me well. It's you... who helped me develop this character so that I can face everything on my own."
......
After talking so much, Lin Jiu's mouth felt a little dry.
There was only a stack of paper money left in the big bag she brought with her.
Lin Jiu took it out, broke it into several thick pieces at random and threw them into the fire, watching the raging fire burn them to ashes.
Finally, she seemed to remember something and slowly brushed off the yellow paper scraps in her palm.
She glanced at the neatly arranged grave mounds and said, "There's something I haven't told you."
After a pause, she smiled and said, "I've found a boyfriend named Chen Miao. He's tall and handsome, and he treats me very well. After graduation, I'll probably stay in Jinhai City, and it'll be hard for me to come back. If you don't have enough money, tell me in a dream. Otherwise, you might not be able to receive the money I give you."
After sitting for a long time, she struggled to stand up, brushed the dust off her butt, and lowered her head to straighten her clothes.
Finally, she circled the grave with firecrackers and lit the fuse.
A minute later, the crackling sound stopped and the last flame in the fire was extinguished.
Lin Jiu turned his back to the grave surrounded by wreaths and walked forward, waving his hands. "You have your days, and I have mine. I'm leaving."
On the way home, Lin Jiu walked lightly, looking down at the dry grass from time to time.
She felt very happy, as if she had finally said everything she had been holding back for years. No one was unwilling to listen to her; they couldn't interrupt her; they were all good listeners.
When I arrived home, the sky was getting dark.
Lin Jiu looked at the house and suddenly felt strange and scary, like a big mouth that could eat people.
The closer I got, the more chilly and terrifying it felt.
She pushed open the iron door and looked at the four black and white photos in the dim light, feeling a chill down her spine.
This is obviously her home.
It's obvious that she is not afraid of real graves.
At this moment, I was afraid of these photos and the silence in the room.
After turning on the light, the bright light dispelled the fear in her heart.
After taking a few bites, Lin Jiu took a hot bath, locked the door, and hid in bed.
After a long, long time, the bed was warm, but the light was still on.
She kept her eyes open, staring at the window beside her, not wanting to sleep.
She clutched the quilt with both hands, inexplicably afraid of the deathly silence. It was like a belated fear, the bustle had dissipated, and she was left alone.
The stiff body in the quilt moved slightly. She groped out her hand and finally dialed Chen Miao's number.
"Chen Miao."
"Um."
"I'm alone at home. I'm scared and can't sleep. Please play some music for me."
"Okay, what do you want to hear?"
"Just play some soft songs."
Then, melodious singing came from the megaphone, breaking the long silence in the room.
Lin Jiu rested her head on the pillow, her eyes closed, enveloped by the song. Every time there was a break between songs, to confirm the presence of the person on the phone, she would gently call out his name: "Chen Miao."
Chen Miao replied patiently and firmly: "I'm here."
Under the bright lights, in the gentle singing, and with his company, Lin Jiu finally tucked his head into the quilt and fell asleep.
I slept very deeply.
It was already ten o'clock when Lin Jiu woke up.
After washing up, she returned to the bedroom and put on a down jacket over her thick pajamas.
Sunlight shines into the room through the frosted glass, it is a good day for sunbathing.
Lin Jiu looked down at the address book and found that the call was disconnected at three in the morning. As she walked towards the main door of the hall, she lowered her head and typed a message to Chen Miao: Did I not disturb your sleep?
She opened the rusty iron gate, and before she could send the message, she saw a black car outside.
She stood there in a daze, holding her phone, staring straight out the car window.
Hearing the noise, the person who was lightly sleeping in the car woke up. Chen Miao pushed open the door and got out of the car. He opened his arms towards Lin Jiu and said, "Come here."
Lin Jiu didn't move, just looked at him quietly.
As if confirming his presence.
He was wearing a black coat and a blue scarf draped neatly around his neck. The backdrop behind him was the mountains and fields she had seen countless times.
There is a feeling of time and space distortion.
After a long while, Lin Jiu ran over and hugged him tightly, asking in a muffled voice, "Why are you here?"
He put one arm around her shoulders and stroked the back of her head with the other, whispering, "You need me."
Hearing this, Lin Jiu's nose felt sore, and her emotions were like a bursting dam, breaking down the iron wall she had built for herself. Like a child, she felt the warmth from his body, silently shedding tears, soaking his clothes.
She didn't know why she was crying.
It seems to be because of this short answer, and it seems to be because of something else.
In front of him, she seemed to be able to be a little more unrestrained, a little more willful, and a little more vulnerable.
Chen Miao didn't say anything, just hugged her tightly and let her cry.
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