twenty four
June, summer is approaching. The chill of winter in the north has finally vanished. The date for transferring to Shanghai has arrived.
I never mentioned my refusal to transfer to my mother again, which made her very happy, thinking that I finally understood her good intentions. In fact, I just wanted to escape.
The police haven't issued a wanted warrant for Beavis, nor have they launched a large-scale search for him. Perhaps the investigation revealed he's not even a suspect, a mere fact. I'm the only one who knows this isn't the case.
Besi and his son, Zheng Kun, had disappeared. Zhang Zhihao had learned the news. A month earlier, upon learning that Zheng Kun's fever had finally broken and he was awake, he had visited him. But after that day, Zheng Kun cut off contact and disappeared without a word. Zhang Zhihao visited several times, only to find the door locked and the house empty. He called, but no one answered. Then he called again, only to find the line was disconnected.
I plucked up my courage and cautiously approached Zheng Kun's home. I noticed a massive iron lock on his door. The doorknob was covered in dust, clearly no one had been in or out for a long time. Of the several nearby houses, only one was still occupied. An elderly man with white hair and beard was feeding chickens in the yard. I inquired about his whereabouts and learned that Besi had said a month earlier that he was going south to work, then disappeared with his son and had never been seen again.
The part-time job claim was clearly a cover-up. I knew exactly what the father and son were afraid of and what they were avoiding. Li Xueqiang's death was clearly directly linked to them.
Besie undoubtedly believed the theory of a third person at the crime scene, the true culprit. While this theory might seem absurd at first, it resonated closely with reality and explained the seemingly paranormal events. For example, why the police searched the video store but found no clues to the murder, and why the videotape appeared in the well with the body. I initially thought I had fooled him with my improvisation, but in reality, the truth of my theory convinced him.
I underestimated Beavis. He didn't place his hopes on a young man like me. The proof is that he never contacted me again.
He wanted to do it himself.
He must have pried open the door. Disguised as a power bureau employee, he targeted Li Xueqiang. He didn't have the intelligence to solve a case, but he was skilled in cunning tactics. It's likely he planned to kidnap Li Xueqiang, just as he did with me, and then put a plastic bag over his head to force the truth out of him. But something went wrong, perhaps Li Xueqiang's resistance was too fierce, or perhaps he lost his composure, and he died. He had no choice but to fake a suicide and flee in a panic.
Ever since I was wrongly accused, I've been trying to uncover the true cause of Li Xueqiang's death. I never expected the truth to be so ludicrous and cruel—I was the true culprit. It was I who told Besie myself that Li Xueqiang was the prime suspect.
If I had mustered the courage to ignore Beazi's threats and reveal the truth to the police, Beazi would have been caught and Li Xueqiang would not have died. But now it's too late.
I didn't dare face Li Zitong, I didn't dare face anyone else. I lived like a zombie. Guilt clung to my back like a cold ghost, haunting me at night as a nightmare. I dreamed I was rock climbing alone and fell, without a safety line. When I woke, my hands and feet were still numb, and my strength wouldn't return. By the time I realized it, my heart was already empty.
The day I left Chengguan City was a weekend, and there was a light drizzle. I looked for Gao Yang in the crowd, but I couldn't find him.
Last night, after much hesitation, I finally called him to tell him that I was leaving and told him the train number and time. But he hung up without saying a word.
My father said a lot when he saw me off in the waiting hall, but I basically didn't hear any of it.
"The broadcast says bus K1035 will leave at 12 o'clock, let's go quickly," my mother urged.
I mechanically said goodbye to my father. Saying goodbye to the past, breaking with it once and for all, I longed for it deep down. Negative memories of the small town surfaced with a swirling mix of emotions, bubbling like bubbles in a methane tank. The decadent image of him addicted to arcade games, the humiliating sight of him being manipulated by hooligans, the shameful "latex product" incident—scenes replayed before my eyes like a revolving lantern, the guilt unbearable.
I look forward to arriving in new places, becoming a new person, and experiencing that feeling I had as a child when a new school term began and my fingers touched a brand new textbook.
My mother and I got our tickets, entered the station, and waited for the train on Platform 4. She kept nagging me about how to greet my grandparents when we arrived. I was tired of hearing her, so I turned and looked, and unexpectedly, I saw a familiar figure.
"I dropped something and forgot to pick it up." Before my mother could react, I had already slipped under the elbows of other passengers and rushed in the opposite direction towards the entrance.
Yes, it was Li Zitong I saw. She was standing outside the ticket checkpoint, arguing anxiously with the station staff.
I entered the underground corridor connecting the platform and the waiting hall and saw Li Zitong leaping through the crowd like a dolphin through a school of sardines. Two station staff members were chasing after him, shouting.
I also squeezed towards her, but since we were moving in the opposite direction of the crowd, the resistance to moving forward was even greater. We finally met in the middle of the corridor with great difficulty.
"Why are they chasing you?"
"I didn't buy a ticket and just forced my way in through the checkpoint..." Li Zitong answered breathlessly.
"Stop talking nonsense and hide first." I pressed her head down, bent my back, and used the cover of the crowd to move to the right and walked up the empty stairs of Platform 2.
I took off my dark green hooded jacket and draped it over Li Zitong's shoulders, then lifted the hood to cover her hair. Due to the height difference, the jacket's hem reached just above her knees. Now, if I only looked at her from behind, the short-haired girl in the "Painting" sweatshirt and blue school pants had vanished instantly.
We heard the shouts of pursuit from behind. None of us dared to look back. We tried hard to suppress the urge to run and walked up the stairs slowly step by step. The sounds behind us finally became farther and farther away.
Platform 2 was deserted; even the timetable screen was off. She pulled me behind a pillar.
"Why did you leave without saying goodbye?" There was no trace of a question mark in her words. This was her unique way of questioning.
"How did you know I was leaving today?"
"Gao Yang said so." She repeated in the same tone, "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"
"You know it anyway," I evaded.
My answer didn't seem to fit the standard answer. She frowned and stared at me.
"Will you come back?"
"I'll probably be allowed to take the college entrance exam there, but I don't know what happens after that." I said casually.
She looked down at the tip of her shoe and handed me a piece of paper folded into the shape of an arrow. "Open it and take a look."
It took me a long time to open it. The note was written in beautiful handwriting with an address and a seven-digit phone number.
"If you have time, you can write to me or call me. I will reply depending on my mood." She said in an unnaturally low voice.
I turned my face away and said, "Let's not contact each other anymore."
She raised her face and stared at me in disbelief.
The girl before me lost her adoptive father because of my fault. I can't even look her in the eye. Perhaps one day, I'll summon the courage to confess everything and ask for her forgiveness. But now, I've lost everything I could rely on—family, friendship, self-confidence, even my conscience. Guilt alone consumes me, and I lack the courage to make any other choice but to escape.
"There are many things you don't know, and I don't know how to explain them to you. I'm really sorry..." I uttered the words with difficulty.
There was a commotion behind us, and we all looked in that direction involuntarily. We saw my mother arguing with the station staff. The train had stopped at platform four.
"The train is about to depart, so let's say goodbye."
Li Zitong pinched my sleeve and said, "Wait, I have something else to say..."
I stared at her in surprise. Her lips pulsated with activity, like a living being, yet no words formed.
The arguing grew louder, and I could faintly hear my mother's anxious voice, frequently repeating words like "my son" and "I can't find him." I peeked out from behind a pillar and saw my mother's red eyes from afar. I couldn't help but firmly declare, "I really have to go."
But she still didn't want to let go, "Wait a moment, just a moment, there's something I need to tell you."
A clear and concise announcement came, announcing that the train to Shanghai was about to depart. I knew I couldn't wait any longer, so I gently peeled back her fingers.
Li Zitong took a deep breath, and as if he had made up his mind, he stood on tiptoe and held my face with both hands. The sudden action frightened me so much that my whole body froze.
She lifted her swan-like white neck and pulled my head down. Her eyes lost focus and trembled slightly. The sea water sparkled with starlight, and I saw my reflection in the ripples.
A train passed through Platform One. It chose not to stop, but instead continued through the station at full speed, taking a whopping fifteen seconds. During that time, no one could see us, huddled alone behind the pillars of Platform Two. I felt like I no longer belonged to this world. Earth had lost its gravity, and everything was floating in space.
After the train passed, Li Zitong pushed me away and left without looking back. "That's all I wanted to say."
At 11:59:054, my mother grabbed my ear and dragged me into the train compartment.
The doors shuddered shut. Like a large cat waking up and stretching its body, the train whistled, heralding the return of life, and slowly pulled away from the platform.
After pushing the bulging suitcase onto the luggage rack high in the carriage, my mother began to lecture me harshly, but I was distracted and didn't hear a word she said.
The scenery outside the train window kept changing. It started out as a familiar residential area, then as the train moved forward, it gradually turned into flat farmland, and finally into a more striking mountainous landscape.
"Why is your face so red? Do you have a cold?" The mother finally realized something was wrong.
I continued to stare out the window, my index and middle fingers pressed to my lips. Memories of the past, the clamor, the crowds, the approaching mountains, even my guilt, all lost their meaning, obliterated by the new, higher-dimensional landscape.
The train will arrive in Shanghai early the next morning. I'll have to spend the night in a soft seat.
I can't sleep.
Everywhere I looked, there was a sense of freshness. The air, temperature, humidity, and lighting inside the train car were all subtly, yet unnoticeably, different from those of the old world. I suddenly grasped the true meaning of concepts like soul, bond, and eternity. The material world seemed illusory and insubstantial. I wanted to live beyond reality, but now I had to face endless sorrow. Vast distances and the length of life lay ahead. Perhaps there was no escape, and our brief encounter could never be repeated.
But once I closed my eyes, I saw a dazzling display of colors in the darkness and smelled a faint sweetness. My heart pounded, and I could barely breathe. Looking back now, experiencing such pure yet intense joy is a once-in-a-lifetime, precious memory.
In the gentle dark night, I understood that she was probably also gazing at a similar dream.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
