I built you a snowman.
I had planned to stop and rest halfway through, and I was thinking about how to properly put her down and then pick her up again. I didn't expect that she was so slender, and she walked to the camping chair I had placed there without much difficulty.
I settled her in the camping chair. The backrest of the camping chair was at a steep angle and didn't provide any support for her lower back. When I put her down, she could only lie half-reclined. I still had to lift her wheelchair over, as well as the items and ingredients I needed to prepare for dinner. "You sit quietly by yourself for now. I still need to go back and get some things."
"Nonsense, I'm a grown woman, what's there to worry about?" The sun was warm, the sky was azure, dotted with a few cotton-like clouds, and she lay there with her eyes half-closed, looking quite comfortable and at ease.
I really can't rest easy.
I went back to the car, folded up her extremely lightweight titanium alloy wheelchair, and carried it over. From a distance, what I saw terrified me—
This old man was performing some kind of acrobatic trick, struggling to prop himself up crookedly from the backrest with his elbow, then bracing himself with one arm on the armrest, and with a sway of his body, he fell into the snow next to him.
The doctors and caregivers repeatedly warned me that Gu Wanlin is very prone to falls. Paraplegic patients, by their very nature, experience muscle loss and decreased bone density due to their inability to move independently. Many of the medications she takes also have similar side effects, making her more susceptible to fractures than before. Any injury would hinder rehabilitation and self-care, and prolonged use of a cast can easily lead to severe pressure sores.
Before we left, Sister Zhou told me to keep a close eye on her and make sure she didn't fall. But she fell as soon as we brought her out.
I didn't care about anything else. I threw the wheelchair aside, my feet slipping and stumbling as I ran to her side. "How did you fall? What are you trying to do? Why didn't you wait for me to come back?"
She lay sprawled in the snow, panting heavily but still laughing to herself, "It's okay, I just want to lie in the snow for a while."
Okay, so you fell on purpose, didn't you? I think I looked terrible. I picked her up from the ground, put her on a chair, and brushed the snow off her without saying a word.
"I'm fine. I'm wearing such top-of-the-line waterproof gear, it would be such a waste not to use it." She placed her hand on my arm and shook it gently.
"I dressed you in this so you wouldn't do this." I was really terrified just now, and when I came to my senses, I couldn't help but be annoyed that she didn't know her own limitations.
She continued shaking my arm, "I've already told you, can you please stop treating me like a patient..."
I was still angry, carefully examining the spot where she had just fallen. I reached into the snow where she had been lying, feeling for stones, tree stumps, or other hard objects she couldn't feel underneath. I interrupted her, "I don't treat you like a patient, but I can't let you act recklessly. The snow looks thick, but what if there are stones underneath? What if you bump your bones or hurt your head?"
"If I have any feeling in my body and all my limbs are intact, is it really worth making such a fuss about just lying down in the snow?"
I looked up at her, and her face darkened. She spoke coldly, released her grip on my arm, and let herself lean back in her chair.
I was still shaken, and seeing that she didn't seem to care, my tone was inevitably a bit sharp: "Am I making a mountain out of a molehill, Gu Wanlin?"
As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them.
Gu Wanlin avoided my gaze, lowered her head and fiddled with her hands. Her lips trembled as she opened and closed them several times before finally speaking in a trembling voice, "Aqing, I'm sorry... I was in a bad mood just now, and I said something hurtful. Please don't blame me..."
Oh, Gu Wanlin.
I straightened up and hugged her tightly. "I know, you don't need to apologize. I was just too anxious."
After this little incident, she was a bit down and told me that the sun was warm and she was sleepy, asking if she could take a nap. I tucked the blanket around her and said, "Of course you can. You can rest for a bit, and then we'll eat. I prepared for a long time last night, so you'd better give me some face."
She was asleep, and as I looked at her pale, almost translucent sleeping face, an idea suddenly came to me.
After finishing everything, I woke her up and asked, "Gu Wanlin, look what this is?"
I built a small snowman for her next to her, exactly the same as the one she built for me before.
After Gu Wanlin and I confirmed our relationship, for most of the first year, our romance was purer than Platonic love. At the start of the spring semester, Gu Wanlin entered the crucial final semester of his junior year, needing to seize the last opportunity to boost his GPA and prepare for standardized tests.
She is extremely demanding of herself, and at the same time, she has to be prepared for the possibility that her application will not be satisfactory and she will work directly without going abroad. No matter how strong she is, she cannot have everything go her way.
At the same time, I also found a part-time internship at a newspaper. I was busy every day after class, and my parents often called me home on weekends. Neither of us are the type to ignore everything else when we're in a relationship. Plus, our schools are far apart, so for the whole semester, our relationship felt like a long-distance one. We kept in touch by phone every day and could only meet occasionally on weekends.
Either she comes to help me write my thesis, or I go to the library with her.
Summer vacation arrived in the blink of an eye. Gu Wanlin found an excellent internship, but it required her to go to another city, while mine was located locally. I had planned to find an opportunity to fly over to her on a weekend to surprise her, but in the end, I couldn't find the chance. When the fall semester started, I immediately went to another country for an exchange program, and ultimately, I still didn't get to see her.
In the early stages of our relationship, we were even a little polite to each other, carefully nurturing this budding connection. But as our attachment to each other deepened, like all couples in the world, we began the difficult process of adjustment, and started arguing with anxiety and insecurity.
I gradually discovered that Gu Wanlin was very uneasy, which puzzled me. If any family had a daughter as outstanding as Gu Wanlin, they would be overjoyed and would celebrate by setting off firecrackers at the ancestral graves. She should be brave, confident, and flamboyant, and she certainly seemed to be. But as I got closer to her, I found that this was not the case.
However, Gu Wanlin's vulnerable and sensitive side is extremely difficult to see. Like a clam, her hard shell opens only for a moment and then closes immediately. Whenever I notice something, she just laughs it off.
One night, we were chatting before bed, and I thought she was incredibly cute, so I couldn't help but say to her in a spoiled tone, "Nannan, I love you. I will always, always and always love you."
She quickly replied, "Will you always, always, always love me?"
I didn't know how to comfort my lover who was showing signs of vulnerability at that moment, so I could only firmly tell her, "I will always, always, always love you."
Just like every time she felt frustrated and blamed herself because of setbacks, I would hug her tightly and tell her over and over again, "Gu Wanlin, you are really good, you are already great," but deep down I was unsure how much comfort my words could bring her.
As soon as the fall semester ended, Gu Wanlin finished everything on her end and flew to the country I was exchanging with. I planned a two-week trip for her, and we spent most of our time in a romantic paradise known for its fairytale-like winter beauty and snow country.
After dating for almost a year, we finally started sharing a bed.
After turning off the lights on the first night, we lay flat on our backs in the dark, staring at the ceiling. I squeezed her hand, and she turned over to look at me. I turned to her, and she placed her hand on my waist, gently kissing my forehead and eyes. I returned the kiss, gently pressing my soft lips against hers. The trembling from my waist told me that she was just as nervous as I was.
When we finally parted, we were both a little out of breath. She put her hand on my shoulder and patted me gently. "Okay, go to sleep. Goodnight, baby, I love you."
"I love you too." But in her heart, she thought, "That's it, that's it. If Gu Wanlin isn't a blockhead, he's probably a pillow princess."
Since she's a pillow princess, for my happiness, I should take the initiative and make my move. The next night, while we were watching a movie in bed, I secretly slipped my hand under her pajamas and gently swirled around in circles. Soon, I felt a warm, ambiguous sensation.
Good, good, at least he's not made of wood.
Gu Wanlin's ears turned bright red, and she jumped up to go to the bathroom to change into clean clothes, forbidding me from touching her again.
Of course, I didn't listen and continued to tease her with ill intentions, and then, and then I got myself into trouble...
Alright, alright, looking so indifferent, she's definitely not the Pillow Princess after all.
I feel like a small boat adrift on the sea beneath a vast galaxy, sometimes rising and falling with gentle waves, sometimes as if a storm is brewing on the surface. I drift between these waves, trying to grab onto something but to no avail. I can only use her as my only safety rope and tie her tightly to myself, lest I drown in her gentle embrace.
Alright, alright, it turns out I'm just not as skilled as others.
We were both lying on the bed, exhausted. Suddenly, I remembered something and kicked her. "Gu Wanlin, you better tell me honestly. How come you have so much experience?"
Gu Wanlin said, "Don't make baseless accusations. I just studied some course materials in advance, which shows that I have more knowledge and better hands-on skills than you. You've known that for a long time."
I gritted my teeth, kicked her again, flipped over on top of her, and leaned down to kiss her.
In the end, my carefully crafted travel plan was mostly wasted. I didn't fall into a deep sleep until late at night, and when I opened my eyes it was noon the next day. The two of us were just taking buses, planes, and high-speed trains from one place to another to eat and stay in hotels.
Once you've tasted the sweetness, you'll crave more. This was especially true on New Year's Eve. We arrived at the hot spring hotel in the afternoon, but it was too cold to go out anymore. After taking a shower, we snuggled into bed and didn't realize we were hungry until 9 p.m.
It was already snowing heavily outside. We went out for a late-night snack with our umbrellas when the hotel receptionist reminded us that there would be a limited-time fireworks display across the lake directly opposite the hotel at midnight to mark the New Year. The floor-to-ceiling windows in each room offered excellent viewing spots.
The receptionist greeted us with a polite smile, wishing us a happy new year in advance, and reminded us that if we wanted to take photos, we should prepare them in advance, as the fireworks would be launched precisely at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.
Unfortunately, we couldn't care less. The moment the dazzling fireworks streaked across the night sky and burst into bloom, I too burst into bloom beneath her.
Of course, although I have to grit my teeth and admit that I am not as good as him, there is always give and take. I am very service-oriented. I started after Gu Wanlin finished because I especially love to hear the restrained moans that escape from the corners of Gu Wanlin's mouth when he tightly wraps his arms around my neck.
"Be gentle, baby, you're going to strangle me. If you strangle me, you won't have a wife anymore." I lightly kissed her earlobe.
She loosened her grip slightly, turned her head away, and spoke in a trembling voice, stubbornly avoiding my eyes, "Aqing, do you know... this past year has been very difficult for me. Many times, no matter how hard I tried, I didn't get what I wanted..."
She paused, then looked straight at me, her eyes sparkling like stars, "...You have no idea how much comfort you've given me every time you tell me 'You've done so well' since I met you..."
She leaned forward and kissed me. "Sometimes I feel that you are a gift from God, and it has been fair to me in the end." She reached out and tucked a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. "How lucky I am to have met such a wonderful girl like you."
As I listened to her, my eyes were already brimming with hot tears. Finally, I couldn't hold back and slid them down to her neck. I lowered my head and kissed her. "Gu Wanlin, because you are so good. Gu Wanlin, because you are so wonderful, you deserve everything."
We embraced and fell asleep to the soft sound of snow falling in the stillness outside.
As expected, I woke up at noon the next day. Large, soft snowflakes were still falling outside. We went out for lunch, umbrellas in hand. Because it was the first day of the new year and snowing heavily, there weren't many people on the streets. Passing a small park, we impulsively decided to go for a walk. The snow accumulated over the past few days had piled up almost a meter thick on both sides of the cleared sidewalks. Gu Wanlin, in a playful mood, jumped and fell right into the snow. I tried to pull her up, but she mischievously swatted snow all over her face.
...
My eyeliner is all smudged, and I want to kick her again.
Gu Wanlin got up, took off his gloves, made a small snowman on the ground, and held it in front of me. "Don't be angry, baby. You've been saying you're wondering why no one builds a snowman. Here you go. I forgot to mention it yesterday, so I'm making up for it today. Happy New Year."
Her hands were red and frozen. I told her to put the snowman down, and then I took her hands and put them in my pocket to warm them…
I woke her from her nap. A small gas stove had already been set up on the camping table next to us, with the rice cake soup I had just heated bubbling on it, emitting a charming and warm aroma.
"Gu Wanlin, look, I built you a snowman."
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