How to Love
The empty space was quiet, with only the figure of a girl in a light gray-purple dress lying there, staring blankly with her eyes open, not bothered by the glare of the white light.
Jiang Jingyuan recalled and thought slowly. There was no rush. She still had a lot of time anyway. Although it would not be good to procrastinate because there was still a lot of time, at least now she could think about it carefully.
She had forgotten things time and again in the past, even telling Xu Qinglin something like a joke and forgetting it the moment she turned her head... Now that she thought about it, it was quite incredible. But then, she remembered that she had never been a carefree person, nor a courageous person.
Instead of fainting from shock, she even cracked a joke?
After pondering for a few moments, Jiang Jingyuan suddenly realized that he was destined to become an immortal...
As the saying goes, gods and immortals are not the end, heaven and earth are not the end, we are still in the cycle of cause and effect, and still in the appearance.
She asked herself, if she had taken it seriously at that time, she would have probably fallen into this trap blindly and gone astray.
Therefore, we should only try briefly in order to make gradual progress.
She needs to be sensible and learn to grow up before she can make her own judgments. She cannot just believe everything she hears and cannot blindly trust others. She was too young at that time.
Even now, I will be shaken at times and fall into the image unconsciously.
Because people rely heavily on their five senses, they inevitably yearn for straightforwardness and expressiveness.
"Afterwards, I wasn't much more honest. I kept hitting the wall when I should..." Jiang Jingyuan paused, thinking with a grim expression, "Compared to what happened before and after, it was relatively mild. The most obvious thing was those three years when I was driven crazy. If not, I wouldn't think of these things."
She took a deep breath and thought: "Don't think about these things, everything is the best." At least she got a glimpse of the colorful world.
Jiang Jingyuan continued to recall and think: "Later..."
Later, it continued to progress gradually, but it was so slow and weak that she didn't notice it or feel alert. Even she herself couldn't tell exactly when it reached the new node.
When she came back to her senses, she faced the reminder of inspiration for the first time...
Something had happened and she couldn't go for a month. She didn't feel anything was wrong. On that day, she got lost on a road that was so familiar to her. She continued walking without noticing, passing people along the way, and they talked -
It was not until she said the same words later when she was disappointed that she suddenly realized that she had been reminded of this on the way here.
"..." Jiang Jingyuan thought of this and frowned, muttering, "My memory is so bad." He hesitated and said, "Afterwards, it seems that I rarely saw these things again. It was only later, after a period of time, that I realized it later."
If you miss something, you will continue to miss it. Only after you miss it will you realize it.
From then until now, sometimes, she didn't know whether she still neglected herself too easily or what, "It hurts a little." She closed her eyes sadly and shed tears silently.
When she was so focused, she didn't notice if there were any other reminders. Anyway, she was brought back to her senses by the pain.
She subconsciously endured the pain, but it was unbearable. She couldn't even say "wait half an hour! Wait half an hour!" and had to stop immediately.
Of course, I may stop now, but if she insists on wanting it later, I will still give it to her. Although it may be different from what she imagined, it will always be better than what she originally thought.
"Fortunately, since I ascended to heaven, this only happens when I am too selfless..." Jiang Jingyuan said silently.
At other times, she can understand a lot by herself, and she can grasp the reminders faster and more accurately.
Maybe it's just a minor quarrel, pain and suffering. If she wants to hit the wall, then let her do it.
The only thing she absolutely couldn't do was go to something—something that was about to explode immediately and would last for a long time, with no telling how long it would take to resolve. She couldn't go to something like that.
"Hmm..." Jiang Jingyuan mused, "Maybe it was just that for me at that time, I absolutely couldn't go."
All of this, whispering about my hidden problems, reminds me like a sudden storm.
Jiang Jingyuan closed her eyes, feeling no longer sleepy, and slowly stood up. The surroundings were clearly a vast expanse of white space, yet she walked in one direction with a clear purpose.
It seemed that his body was light, but it seemed that it was not his body that was light. When Jiang Jingyuan just raised his foot to walk, he felt a little floating, and from the outside he looked a little shaky.
She had inevitably heard of this feeling of floating while walking before, but at that time she had never experienced it, so she could only subconsciously follow the description and imagine it.
Looking back now, I can only say that my imagination without seeing anything was a world away from the actual situation.
But to be honest, I can only say that "I feel like I'm floating even when I walk."
Jiang Jingyuan paused, thinking that the surroundings were shaking, but when he looked up, he saw the eternal blank silence. He realized that the blank space would not move, and realized that it was he himself who was shaking.
Same thing, same words, different situations, you can only understand it if you experience it yourself.
She immediately continued walking forward indifferently.
…………
In the small world.
The mountains and rivers were filled with mist. With a thought, birds and beasts appeared in an instant. With another thought, the surrounding scenery became blurred and receded as if covered with layers of white gauze.
The familiar figure in white was still sitting on the huge rock on the mountain, with his eyes lightly closed and a smile on his lips, as if immersed in some warm and beautiful dream, quiet and unconscious.
Her figure is clear, and compared with the surroundings, the clearness is sharper and the blur is hazier.
Jiang Jingyuan walked over, and with an idea, he stretched out his hand and pulled a large cloud from the sky. The cloud was white and clean. He pulled it into the shape of a large mat, patted it hard, and fell on it. He looked up at the sky and the ground, and glanced at the people next to him from time to time.
Looking at it this way, the person next to me was surrounded by a gentle and loving aura, which seemed to emanate faintly. Who could have imagined that the "disasters" that everyone once feared could actually have such a gentle expression?
Tranquility was resonating. Jiang Jingyuan gazed at the world calmly, then slowly closed his eyes, almost falling asleep.
But she didn't. She didn't fall asleep for a long time. She seemed sleepy and confused, but also extremely awake and clear-headed.
She lay there for an unknown amount of time.
Suddenly, her right shoulder suddenly jumped violently, which was extremely clear. Jiang Jingyuan became more awake immediately. For a moment, she resisted the sleepiness and laziness vigilantly, and forced herself to tilt her head and straighten her body, and she wanted to fall into sleep again.
She wasn't asleep, and clearly felt... a familiar yet somewhat unfamiliar state hugging her from behind. Perhaps because she was too lazy, she had no intention of resisting...
Her consciousness dissolved into the wider void.
She didn't know why it was a "vast blank." She just looked at the blank space and subconsciously murmured slowly, "It's more obvious, clearer, and more extensive than before..."
She completely melted into the void.
I don’t know how long it took, maybe only three or five moments, Jiang Jingyuan suddenly thought of the blank, thought of himself, and fell out again.
Falling out of the blank, she was still confused and clear-headed. Without opening her eyes, she habitually recalled the past. Her heart suddenly started beating wildly. She immediately closed her eyes tighter, calmed her mind, and actively let herself sink into the blank.
In the vast expanse of white, Jiang Jingyuan suddenly lost all sense of the outside world and her own hands and feet. Gradually, she could no longer feel her entire body.
She floated in that blank space, and that blank space flowed slowly in her.
Her consciousness quickly melted into the void.
She was not aware of anything about herself, and for the first time she felt this so clearly, so clearly.
Suddenly, Jiang Jingyuan regained consciousness, perhaps exploring the blank space or exploring himself—to explore means to notice.
She fell out instantly.
This went on several times before Jiang Jingyuan turned sideways, hugged Yunwu and yawned. He understood a lot without thinking, just like interpreting a dream. He stopped trying and slowly forced himself to open his eyes.
The water in her vision was hazy for a while. Jiang Jingyuan blinked, and saw the familiar figure in white. A question suddenly popped up in her mind:
"They say love can change everything. How should we love?"
Once upon a time, in the snowy mountains, she had been alone in her room with the door closed for two hours, thinking about this problem.
"Why do gods and saints love all living things? Do we have to love all living things in order to become gods and saints?"
She doesn't think so.
Since we already know that there is no "must" or "must", why do "must" and "can only" pop up at this time?
She didn't understand. She felt that loving or not loving all living beings made no difference, but if doing so could make her immortal, then she would learn to love.
She locked herself in the room, reading books and persuading herself to love fiercely. When she was convinced that she could really love all living things, she opened the door and walked out.
As soon as he opened the door and looked at the world, Jiang Jingyuan's face turned expressionless. He slammed the door shut and locked it, then went back into the pile of books.
Why? What's wrong? Why can't she fall in love?!
I don't hate or like you, I have no feelings for you, I don't want to hurt you and I won't be able to help you in any trouble. I just want to stay away from you.
Jiang Jingyuan felt that he didn't love enough, so he opened and closed the door several times, and realized that he loved the virtual and not the real - he could love the invisible and broad "living beings and all things", but he couldn't do it when it came to specific existence.
She didn't know why she didn't love, but she just loved anyway.
Still no use, no progress at all. I clearly don't love, yet I'm such a lazy person and I have to constantly remind myself to love. Even without any love, I'm even more exhausted.
But when she was alone in the room, she really felt that she was in love.
Perhaps because he had wasted less time on this matter, Jiang Jingyuan was not disappointed even after failing. He thought: "Forget it, everyone has their own way. Maybe this kind of love or not is not suitable for me."
She turned to read another book, and as she read, she unknowingly thought of that question again, and unknowingly sank into endless darkness.
That was the first time she sank so deeply into darkness. She sat right in the center of the darkness, thinking about the problem and forgetting everything else.
Suddenly, an idea struck her and she froze.
She understood.
It is not about loving others to achieve loving yourself, but loving yourself to the extreme, and then you will love others unconsciously.
The love that I have for myself is so much, so infinite, so continuous, and so inexhaustible that it will naturally radiate outwards and overflow with deep love.
Have you ever noticed the world you see when you are extremely happy?
My heart is beautiful, there is always a smile on my face, and everything I see is extremely beautiful.
If she always stays focused on the beauty in her heart, then from the outside, what she shows is naturally love for herself and all living beings.
Thinking of this, Jiang Jingyuan looked at the figure in white and smiled quietly.
What are “disasters”? What are the “disasters” of all things?
Jiang Jingyuan slowly sat up, stood up from the clouds and mist, and slowly walked towards the "disaster" in white clothes.
Disasters are...
The self that is not accepted by all living beings and things.
Jiang Jingyuan walked in front of her, raised his face, stretched out his hands to her like a little animal or a child, and slowly snuggled into her arms.
"Don't worry, we're fine. We'll protect ourselves well from now on. Don't worry." Jiang Jingyuan tilted his head, narrowed his eyes happily, and smiled. He said to her, "Wait a moment. I want you to hear the echo of love from all things in the world."
"Disaster" reached out and gently patted her back, without saying a word, lowered his head and closed his eyes and smiled.
Jiang Jingyuan smiled and fell asleep.
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