Live in the present
"Do you know how much fear and suffering I went through just to get home?!"
On a gloomy night, in Princess Changsheng's mansion, the young girl, who had grabbed the quilt up to her chin with both hands, suddenly opened her dark eyes, which were sometimes filled with anger and sometimes with despair.
She couldn't help but reveal a look of grief in the darkness. For the umpteenth time that night, she gritted her teeth and said the same words in her heart.
As soon as the words fell from her mind, Jiang Jingyuan took a deep breath and calmed herself down... However, after another long while, she pushed the quilt away with a resentful look on her face, stood up, and walked to a bed outside.
Jiang Jingyuan didn't say anything either. He just stood there with his hair loose and dressed in white, staring quietly at the red-haired fox sleeping soundly on the bed.
Sheng Liang, who was sleeping, suddenly felt a chill on his back, trembled all over, smacked his lips, grabbed the quilt, turned over, and wrapped himself tighter.
Jiang Jingyuan curled his lips, stretched out his right index finger, and poked the red-haired fox's forehead.
Sheng Liang closed his eyes, frowned, smacked his lips twice, relaxed his brows, and continued to sleep soundly.
Jiang Jingyuan curled his lips and reached out to poke it again.
Sheng Liang finally frowned, opened his eyes a little, and glanced to the side in a daze. In the dim light, a white shadow stood beside him like a ghost, with disheveled hair and unclear face.
Sheng Liang let out a startled "Wow!" and instantly the fox leaped off the bed, clutching the quilt. Its long red and white fur stood on end, and it stared at the white shadow with wide eyes.
"Shengliang..."
The figure in white slowly raised his head and called out softly.
Jiang Jingyuan! !
Sheng Liang burst into tears, and cried out in anger and sorrow, "What are you doing so late at night... If you've already gone home, don't pick on me and make trouble!"
Jiang Jingyuan was quiet for a moment, then slowly said, "I can't sleep..."
"What's the point of telling me?!" Sheng Liang was indignant. "You haven't been able to sleep for a day or two. What's the big deal? Why are you disturbing the fox so much that it can't even rest?"
Jiang Jingyuan silently raised her hand and pulled the fox's ear hair, which immediately made Sheng Liang's ears itchy. The fox moved its ears, frowned, shook its head, and slapped her hand away with another claw.
"That's different..." Jiang Jingyuan said with resentment, "Before I went up the mountain, my sleep was improved."
Jiang Jingyuan recalled how she tossed and turned every night in the mountains, almost falling asleep at dawn. She thought to herself that she was unaccustomed to the new place, but now that she was back, she still couldn't sleep...
"What do you want?" Sheng Liang said, hugging the quilt, "I can't solve it for you." It couldn't help but regret: "If I had known earlier, I would have gone to a room by myself."
Jiang Jingyuan was silent for a moment, then raised his hand and pointed at his head, "I feel..."
"You finally realize that there's something wrong with your brain?!" Sheng Liang cried with joy, feeling relieved.
Jiang Jingyuan: "..."
Jiang Jingyuan raised her hand and patted it, saying, "I have a headache. I feel like my brain is working too hard, so I can't sleep anymore." After a pause, she added, "I've been suffering from insomnia for several months."
The fox glanced at her, tilted his head to think for a moment, and suddenly realized, "I know." He looked at her again and said, "You are meditating, aren't you?"
Jiang Jingyuan said "hmm".
Sheng Liang said with disdain, "Why do I feel like you've fallen into every pitfall on your path to becoming an immortal? No matter how common or niche, or how rare, you'll fall into any pitfall."
It said, "Don't exert any effort when you look at it. Just look at it lightly and leisurely. Relax and let the sleepiness come over you. Let you feel sleepy, but also let you watch calmly as you fall asleep, fall asleep, and wake up."
Jiang Jingyuan turned around and walked back thoughtfully.
Sheng Liang stared at her back and said, "Really? You've made me so sleepy that I can't even feel sleepy anymore." He fell down and covered himself with the quilt again.
Jiang Jingyuan fell back and closed his eyes.
Relax, relax... relax, even look at the word "relax" in a relaxed manner.
Relax your shoulders and neck, relax your head... relax your whole body.
The superficial consciousness was hazy and sank into the darkness, and the later consciousness looked on indifferently.
It was pitch black, a completely dark darkness. A faint voice rang in her ears, and she felt someone touching her with her hand and talking to her... It seemed as if a large amount of memories were pouring into her mind, and the memories were flowing. She was talking to the person next to her.
Jiang Jingyuan looked at the scene in front of her indifferently. It seemed like only a moment, yet it seemed like a long while had passed. She suddenly came back to her senses as if she had woken up from a dream.
Jiang Jingyuan panicked for a moment, but in an instant, she regained her composure and understood.
She fell asleep and dreamed.
Is this what it feels like to go from being awake to dreaming?
Jiang Jingyuan felt a little happy—she had succeeded, she had taken another step forward. But her consciousness, further back, still watched her happiness and her thoughts with indifference.
"But..." Jiang Jingyuan calmed down and looked at the darkness around her. She could clearly hear words in her ears, corresponding memories were flowing in her mind, and she even felt something being touched on her hand.
She was puzzled and wondered, "Why is it all black? Why is there no picture?"
It's not like she hadn't woken up from a dream before, and she had clearly seen scenes then. Even dreams that were too horrifying, she could still calm down and change them in a panic.
This was the first time she had ever seen a completely dark dream.
Almost subconsciously, Jiang Jingyuan controlled his mind to change the darkness in front of him.
She tried three or four times, but it was still pitch black. Even when she tried to push it, the sounds in her ears disappeared, the feeling in her hands disappeared, and even the memories in her mind became vague and only fragments remained.
Jiang Jingyuan paused, then suddenly remembered something. He immediately gathered his thoughts and muttered to himself:
“Don’t try to change the dream, don’t try to change anything. I just need to quietly watch the years go by, watch the times change, watch everything change - don’t think about changing, don’t ask for anything.”
Jiang Jingyuan calmed down and looked at the endless darkness ahead with a light and calm expression.
It seemed like only a brief moment, but also like a very long time had passed. Jiang Jingyuan suddenly seemed to wake up again, with no patience, and couldn't help but wonder in his heart:
"Am I really dreaming? Why are there no images in my dreams? Is it possible that... I'm just closing my eyes and haven't fallen asleep yet?"
Thinking about this, Jiang Jingyuan tried to open his eyes...
Open your eyes.
Ah, can’t open your eyes?
When I closed my eyes, I felt relaxed and calm, without feeling anything. But why...
Jiang Jingyuan tried hard to open his eyes, but his eyelids seemed to be glued shut. No matter how hard he pulled, he couldn't open them even a little bit.
Faced with the sudden change, Jiang Jingyuan instantly forgot that he had just wanted to see if this was a dream, and he insisted on opening his eyes.
It was like some strange oppression. Even though I knew they were harmless, I felt like I was trapped in some kind of obsession and confusion and had to kick them away, otherwise I would feel suffocated and restless.
Finally, with her persistence, Jiang Jingyuan finally opened her left eye a crack.
Phew... She felt relieved instantly.
The depressed mood in his heart finally dissipated, and fatigue surged up. Jiang Jingyuan felt peaceful and allowed himself to slowly close his eyes.
Before he closed his eyes, everything went dark again... and he opened his eyes.
That fleeting scene was deeply imprinted in my mind.
Shocking and profound.
Why?
Because she didn't know that she was still in a false dream! Jiang Jingyuan thought that she had woken up when she opened her eyes, but what she thought was "waking up" was... waking up again.
Jiang Jingyuan stared blankly.
She lay flat on the quilt, listening to her own breathing and heartbeat, and the images in front of her eyes slowly blinked.
Her mind was blank, not the blankness of being frightened, but the peaceful blankness without any distractions.
She looked at the outside world and herself, and she looked at herself looking at the outside world and herself.
Jiang Jingyuan lay flat on her back, motionless, in a hazy, almost trance-like state. Although her limbs didn't feel any discomfort, she felt... a deep-seated feeling in her heart. It made her aware of the intense soreness in her limbs, urging her to shift, to move.
But she knew that her hands and feet were not that uncomfortable, so Jiang Jingyuan didn't want to give in to the unpleasant feeling in her heart - because once she gave in, it would be difficult to change it.
But it was only for a few moments, and she seemed to finally be unable to resist. She stretched her hand out from under the quilt, stretched it for a while, and then retracted it into the quilt.
After all, he had just woken up, and his consciousness was still hazy and groggy. Jiang Jingyuan didn't think about it anymore, and he didn't even have the energy to think about dream watching. He just wanted to fall into a deep sleep peacefully.
Jiang Jingyuan felt drowsy but not completely asleep. Suddenly, he felt an itch on his face. With his eyes half-closed, he slowly pursed his lips in displeasure, but he was too sleepy to pay any attention to it.
The slight pain was bearable, but the itchiness was unbearable... Jiang Jingyuan finally raised his hand unhappily to brush the hair off his face. As soon as his hand dropped, he crawled back into the quilt and returned to his original position.
However, it seemed like only three or two moments had passed before his cheek started to itch again. Jiang Jingyuan made a light, almost inaudible "tsk" sound, raised his hand to brush the hair off his cheek, and then lowered his hand back to its original position in the quilt.
Jiang Jingyuan was in a daze, as if he was falling asleep while looking at the dim scene outside, or as if he was soundly asleep while thinking in his mind...
"So... did I really change my movements?" She muttered in a daze, "How do I know if what I just experienced, before, was real... or was it just a memory?"
"so……"
She thought in fits and starts.
"The past is a memory, and the future is the deduction and expectation of past memories... I only have a moment..."
"The present moment."
"All I know is that the present moment is absolutely real... No, it's even shorter than that. It takes time and a process for perception to be transmitted to the brain..."
“Live in the present moment.”
For some reason, perhaps because it was too peaceful, Jiang Jingyuan, dazed and embraced by peace and joy, actually laughed for no apparent reason.
"My anticipation for the future is based on the past, but the past is just a memory I don't know if it belongs to me. Then I... then I..."
"Then why should I dwell on the past and feel so much anticipation and pain for the future?"
“I only have the present moment. The present moment is me.”
“Not being held hostage by the past, not being constrained by the future, all I can guarantee is the present.”
Jiang Jingyuan wanted to laugh out loud. In fact, her body was shaking and she actually laughed out loud.
"……I see."
"Look..." A familiar voice sounded from the upper right:
"Whether it's someone else in the book or me, we can tell you everything as clearly as possible, but...true enlightenment must be truly realized by you. Only then will it truly be yours."
"This is an opportunity that belongs only to you."
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