Learn about Tian Zhao's past from Qin Lan
The day after Consort Hui and Qin Lan left, just as dawn was breaking, I carried a food box toward the Imperial Kitchen. Passing the secluded bamboo grove behind the Cold Palace, I suddenly remembered what Qin Lan had whispered to me the day before—"Sister Zhao, if you want to know about Zhao's past, I'll find a chance to come see you again, and we can have a good talk." A thought struck me, and I slowed my pace, placing a handkerchief embroidered with the character "见" (see) under the old locust tree at the entrance of the bamboo grove—this was the mark we had agreed upon yesterday; if she saw it, she would wait here.
When I delivered lunch in the afternoon, I deliberately went around to the back gate. From afar, I saw Qin Lan standing under the locust tree, clutching a cloth bag in her hand, wearing a light blue ruqun (a type of traditional Chinese dress), standing out conspicuously among the withered bamboo grove. Her eyes lit up immediately when she saw me, and she quickly came to greet me: "Sister A-Zhao, I was afraid you wouldn't be able to find this place." I smiled and shook my head, pulling her a few steps deeper into the bamboo grove, avoiding the passing palace servants: "It's quiet here, perfect for talking."
Finding a clean bluestone to sit on, Qin Lan opened her cloth bag. Inside was an old wooden box containing some odds and ends—a half-worn jade pendant, several yellowed slips of paper, and a purse embroidered with the character "Zhao." "These are all things that Sister Zhao used to own," she said, picking up the jade pendant and gently stroking it with her fingertips, her eyes filled with nostalgia. "This was a birthday gift I gave her before she entered the palace. She said she would wear it for a lifetime, but she accidentally broke it just a few days after entering the palace, and she cried for days."
Looking at the half-jade pendant, a pang of sadness welled up inside me—the original owner of this body was, after all, a girl who valued relationships deeply. "What was Tian Zhao like before?" I asked softly, my fingers unconsciously clenching the hem of my clothes. Qin Lan thought for a moment, a faint smile appearing on her lips: "Sister Zhao was lively, like a little firecracker, easily ignited, but she had no ill intentions. We grew up together, and she always protected me. If anyone bullied me, she was the first to rush in and argue with them, even if it meant suffering a loss herself, she wouldn't let me be wronged."
She picked up a note with crooked handwriting that read, "Sister Qin Lan, I secretly hid a piece of candy under your pillow." "She wrote this for me when she was just learning to write," Qin Lan said with a smile. "Her handwriting was crooked, but she always loved to write me notes. Once, she secretly brought me candy, but the head maid found out and punished her by making her kneel for two hours. When she came back, she said to me, 'Sister, I'll bring you something even better next time.'"
Looking at the childish handwriting on the note, I could almost see that lively and straightforward girl, secretly hiding candy and writing diligently. "Did she have any particular favorite things in the palace?" I asked again, wanting to know more about Tian Zhao so that I could put her parents at ease when I met her. Qin Lan lowered her head and thought for a while: "She likes to eat osmanthus cakes made by the imperial kitchen, and she also likes to weave grass insects. She said that after she leaves the palace, she wants to weave a basket of grass insects to take home for her parents to see."
“Her parents…” I started to speak, but Qin Lan’s eyes reddened. She quickly wiped away her tears and whispered, “Sister Zhao always talked to me about her parents, saying they had worked hard all their lives. She was strong-willed and insisted on entering the palace to prove she could stand on her own, saying she could earn ten times more money there than anywhere else. She also said that once she had saved enough money and reached the age to leave the palace, she would leave to take good care of her parents.” Her voice choked with emotion, “But I never expected… she would just disappear like that.”
I handed her the handkerchief, my heart filled with guilt—I had taken over Tian Zhao's body, yet failed to fulfill her wish. "Qin Lan, I'm sorry," I said softly, "I know I can't replace her, but I will take good care of her parents, and I will treat you like my own sister, just as she did." Qin Lan shook her head, grasped my hand, and tears streamed down her face: "Sister Zhao, I know you didn't mean it. You're good to me, and you're good to the ladies in the Cold Palace. If Sister Zhao knew, she would be happy too."
She picked up the purse embroidered with the character "昭" and handed it to me: "This was embroidered by Sister Zhao herself. She said that after she leaves the palace, she will use this purse to put money in her parents' pockets. Now... I'm giving it to you. Take it to see her parents, and when they see this, they will know that you sincerely want to help them." I took the purse. The fabric was a little worn, but the embroidery was exceptionally meticulous; every stitch of the character "昭" was very fine.
“Her parents will be so happy to see you,” Qin Lan wiped away her tears and smiled faintly. “Zhao always tells them that she’s doing very well in the palace, and that I’m taking care of her. By the way, her mother’s locust flower cakes are especially delicious. Zhao always says that when she leaves the palace, she wants to go eat them with me.” She chattered on and on, remembering everything from Tian Zhao’s preferences to the little things they had experienced together, her eyes filled with an overwhelming sense of longing.
The sun gradually set, and a cool breeze swept through the bamboo grove. Qin Lan glanced at the sky, stood up, and said, "Sister Zhao, I should go back now. Consort Hui is waiting for me. When you see Zhao's parents, please give them my regards and tell them that I will take good care of myself and help you fulfill Zhao's wish." I nodded, saw her to the entrance of the bamboo grove, and watched her figure disappear behind the palace wall, clutching the purse embroidered with the character "Zhao" in my hand, my heart filled with determination.
When I returned to the Cold Palace, Ya Huan was tidying up the dried herbs in the courtyard. When she saw me, she hurriedly came up to me and said, "Sister A Zhao, where have you been? I've been waiting for you for a while." I smiled and handed her the purse and said, "I went to see Sister Qin Lan. She found the purse that I left with her and she kept talking about our past."
During dinner, I casually mentioned, "My parents are getting old, and I'd like to visit them." The Empress Dowager nodded, her eyes filled with satisfaction. "You're so thoughtful. Your parents would be grateful if they knew. Bring them some gifts; they've worked hard all their lives, don't let them suffer any more." Consort Su added, "I have some dried herbs here. Take them with you and steep them in water for your parents; it will help them stay healthy." Consort Rong quietly slipped me a sachet embroidered with a peace charm: "Give...give them to keep them safe."
I accepted the things everyone offered, my heart filled with warmth. Everyone in the Cold Palace was helping Tian Zhao fulfill her wish in their own way. Holding the purse embroidered with the character "Zhao," I silently said in my heart: Tian Zhao, don't worry, I will definitely take good care of your parents, and I will live well for you, so as not to let down the traces you left in this world.
As night deepened, I sat by the window, gazing at the moonlight, and unfolded the note Qin Lan had given me. The crooked handwriting seemed to be Tian Zhao speaking to me, telling me her story, her wishes. I gently tucked the note away, placed it in the wooden box, and then fastened the purse to my waist—from this moment on, I am not only Lin Zhao, but also Tian Zhao. I will carry her wishes forward, walk this path well, and live up to every trust and expectation placed upon me.
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