Chapter 38: Curtain call for the hottest and longest summer in life.
On the way home from school, Bo Xia asked Zhou Suiye about Jin Yunyan's going abroad.
He didn't expect that she already knew. His expression was a little guilty and a little embarrassed: "Ayan only told me a while ago. I didn't hide it from you on purpose..."
"I know."
She answered so quickly that Zhou Suiye didn't know what to say.
He, too, felt caught off guard, and his feelings towards Jin Yunyan's secrecy were tinged with a hint of betrayal, a kind of anger between close friends. But then, as he tilted his head and saw Jin Yunyan's distant gaze, he suddenly understood that his friend was an independent, precocious, and aloof person. His heart couldn't hold anyone else, and his willingness to share these things with him signified his own importance.
But Zhou Suiye was still unwilling to give in, his tone hiding his emotions: "Do you really have to leave? With your grades, which university in China wouldn't be vying for you?"
Zhou Suiye had thought that after graduation, they might go their separate ways, but he never imagined that separation would come so soon. He knew that once Jin Yunyan went abroad, he would most likely stay there like one of his relatives.
He murmured: "You're gone..."
What should Bo Xia do? What should he do?
That night, they sat on the lawn. Jin Yunyan's thin knuckles pulled open a can, the sound distinct in the quiet night. He said, "Didn't you ask me before what I wanted to do in the future? What I want to do has never changed."
Jin Yunyan looked at a star in the sky and spoke after a while, "I want to go to her."
Zhou Suiye was a little surprised and asked quickly who that "she" was. She couldn't be his childhood sweetheart or his first love.
He said calmly: "My mother."
That was the first time Zhou Suiye heard him mention his family. He said that his parents were divorced and had their own families. He knew he shouldn't disturb his mother's life, but even so, he still wanted to live in the same city with her.
"As long as I can be with her, it doesn't matter if we don't meet."
Zhou Suiye was silent for a while before saying, "Auntie must be a very gentle person."
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have such a gentle son.
He had always felt that Jin Yunyan didn't fit in with them. While teenage boys were consumed with chaotic thoughts, he lived a simple life, devoted solely to study and ordinary pursuits, never even watching movies. Jin Yunyan got along with everyone, but his world didn't include those around him. It felt like he was just a passing visitor, unconnected to anyone.
But now, he seemed to feel that his friend was more like a living person than before.
But I can't say this thought out loud, it sounds like I'm cursing.
Zhou Suiye could certainly understand his feelings. After all, their situations were almost the same at this moment, but he was still trapped in the inability to accept the changes in his family. He could not accept that the beautiful porcelain was shattered overnight, and that the happy family he had was actually a scam from the beginning.
He said that if he gets married in the future, he will definitely not be that kind of parent.
Jin Yunyan is more mature than him and is more open-minded, even though his biological father is not a responsible person: "Everyone has the right to pursue their own happiness, even if it is unfair to us."
"Do you think there are everlasting feelings in this world?"
Jin Yunyan didn't know that he didn't envision getting married one day like Zhou Suiye did, because he had never thought that he would truly fall in love with someone to the point of being unable to live without her.
The memories ended here. Zhou Suiye did not tell Bo Xia in detail what happened that night. He just wanted to find a way to comfort her. He said that maybe there would be some changes by then.
But even he himself didn't quite believe such words.
After all, he saw Jin Yunyan preparing seriously for the exams and competitions, and with his abilities, there was almost no possibility that he would not be accepted.
After these words were spoken, there was only silence in the air. Before getting off the bus, Bo Xia saw his worry and told him that she was fine.
"You don't have to say these things all the time. Being sad is a normal emotion. As your friends, Wen Xin and I will accept everything about you," Zhou Suiye looked at her seriously. "Don't you feel tired of always being so considerate of others?"
She felt like something in her body was suddenly hit and she couldn't speak for a long time.
Suddenly her nose felt sour, and the soreness spread all the way to her eye sockets.
She had been calm just a minute ago, but now her emotions were swirling. It was strange how emotions that weren't that strong at first would intensify under the care of others.
Her parents always expected her to be obedient and sensible, and to take on the responsibilities of an older sister, which is why she developed this personality. Often, even when she was wronged, she would never speak up.
Because she was not favored in her family relationships, she subconsciously felt that expressing herself was useless. After all, she protested again and again over the years and did not want to be bullied by her younger sister, but was always ignored.
This was the first time she was heard since meeting Wen Xin and Zhou Suiye.
Bo Xia turned her eyes away slightly: "I am a little sad, and a little tired."
"Then I'll bring you a small cake tomorrow. Do you want some?"
She nodded: "Eat."
Zhou Suiye looked at her for a moment, couldn't help but laugh, raised his hand and pinched her cheek, then heard her add, "I want matcha flavor." Well, she picked it.
In the dim light of the car, she raised her head and looked at him for a long time with her pure eyes.
She couldn't help but think, if only he were really her brother.
Perhaps it was because she couldn't see Jin Yunyan, but during the holidays, Bo Xia's heart gradually calmed down. When she occasionally felt emotional, she would listen to English listening over and over again, as if she had returned to the time when she was desperately trying to improve.
It was not until the beginning of the school year that she received a message from Zhou Suiye asking her out, saying that Jin Yunyan was inviting some friends to dinner as a farewell party.
She asked him somewhat embarrassedly if they could go another day. She was going back to her hometown that day. Actually, there was nothing big to do there, but her schedule was always monitored by her parents, and it was difficult for her to go out and play when they were both there.
The answer was naturally no. Zhou Suiye hesitated for a long time and finally told her that this might be the last time they saw each other.
She was speechless for a long time.
Under the pretext of going to the supermarket to buy something, she bought a gift and put it in the locker, asking Zhou Suiye to give it to him.
She didn't know whether she had given the gift to anyone in the end. When school started, Bo Xia and Wen Xin didn't see Zhou Suiye. After asking, they found out that he had an accident on the road and was lying in the hospital.
On Sunday, the two of them took half a day off to visit the hospital. When they reached the door of Zhou Suiye's room, they saw his mother inside. Just as they were wondering whether to say hello, they heard Zhou Suiye say, "Do you really need to be so worried? I'm already an adult."
"You are not an adult anymore, how can you be okay without your mother taking care of you?"
Zhou Suiye's mother asked him if he was still angry with her. He shook his head: "Actually, I just figured it out. If I force you two to be together for my sake, it seems that in the end, no one will be happy except me. I can't be so selfish."
He said, "I'm grown up now, and it's time for you to live the life you want."
Bo Xia and Wen Xin looked at each other, and both felt that they shouldn't disturb the heart-to-heart moment between mother and son, so they quietly closed the door and left quietly.
They walked around the nearby square for a while. Bo Xia, who usually loved studying, didn't mention anything about studying. Wen Xin asked about it out of curiosity, but she didn't expect the answer she got was -
"Combining work and rest, taking a break will make learning more efficient."
Wen Xin: “…”
After Zhou Suiye returned to school, he told her that Jin Yunyan hadn't accepted the gift, but only the postcard. Bo Xia was stunned, and suddenly regretted not removing the envelope from the card. She knew Jin Yunyan probably wouldn't open it.
On the day of the oath-taking ceremony 100 days before the college entrance examination, Bo Xia went on stage to speak as a student representative.
She looked nervously at the senior high school students below who were staring at her, and imagined that she was Jin Yunyan at this moment, and her heart gradually calmed down.
"After a long period of slumber, one day one will break through the waves. Past efforts will eventually turn into flowers and cheers tomorrow. Keep moving forward, and we will get what we want in the summer..."
Bo Xia thought that they would all become better people and move towards a better future. This might be the whole meaning of secret love.
Just like what she wrote on the greeting card -
"I wish you a bright and glorious future, and I wish us all a better tomorrow."
Regret?
How can there be no regrets?
But the torrent of time pushed them forward desperately. They no longer had time to regret. They just studied and studied hard, and then June came unknowingly.
How many times can one still feel the summer?
She remembered that sweltering season, when all the students were eager to make a move before the holiday, planning to go upstairs and tear up books. Fu Qiangmin, who knew exactly what they were thinking, warned them before they took action: "Behave yourself from now on. If anyone dares to tear up a book, I'll do it for you."
He looked around at the people around him and slowly walked to the podium. "I'm telling you, some of you students might need those books when you do poorly on the exam and need to repeat the year. Why tear them up now and then buy more books when they're useless?"
Impressed by the head teacher's sharp tongue, bursts of laughter were heard in the classroom.
But the strict teacher still couldn't suppress the restless students. When there was a noise outside, everyone's attention was involuntarily drawn to the outside. At first, only a few students went against the wind, but later, with the idea that the law should not punish everyone, more and more people went out.
Bo Xia looked outside and heard them shouting. Her sleeping heart was also frantically pushing against the stone pressing on it, as if it wanted to grow lush branches.
Wen Xin had already run out. She thought that a good girl like Bo Xia who would never disobey her teacher would definitely not go with her. When she noticed that her hand was being held, she looked at Bo Xia with some surprise.
"Really go."
"Um."
She followed others in tearing up books and shouting, as if declaring her rebellion against the world.
She wanted to break out, break out of the cage that shackled her.
Torn paper fell from the roof like snowflakes, floating in a cloud of dust, as if a heavy rain had fallen. Amid the teacher's angry roar, they shouted and reveled.
"Three, two, one, good luck on the college entrance exam!"
Many years later, she could never forget the passion that rushed that day and the embarrassing ending after being caught by the teacher.
Then comes the college entrance examination.
After the last exam, she walked out of the school and saw the campus crowded with people and lush green trees above her head.
What awaits her is the longest vacation in her life.
After receiving her acceptance letter from Peking University, Bo Xia ran around the playground until her face was covered in sweat. She knew she would be scolded for not listening to her parents and applying to the Southern University of Science and Technology in her home province, but her heart was still beating wildly with excitement.
It was a belated rebellion in her life, but it also represented the beginning of her breaking through herself and truly growing.
I heard that other people also got into their ideal universities.
Wen Xin was admitted to the local foreign language university, Zhou Suiye went to the Aviation University as he wished, and Meng Roujin was admitted to the medical major she had always dreamed of.
On the day they were invited out for the party, they watched an open-air movie together and experienced the hottest and longest summer in their lives.
Brilliant fireworks were reflected in the dark night. Bo Xia followed them to buy a fairy wand. The hot fireworks in her palm burned fiercely, as if to release all her passion and light.
Bo Xia inexplicably thought of Jin Yunyan. She had heard that he had received an offer from a prestigious university. They had both lived up to their youth and were heading towards their own futures.
Although this secret love ended in vain, it became the brightest firework in her bleak youth. In the bitterness and beauty, she finally completed her splendid coming-of-age ceremony.
However, he was unable to attend the final grand and silent ceremony, and she could only bow alone.
——End of Volume 1——
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