Chapter 58: Bitter Fruit People are always trapped for their whole lives by things they couldn’t get when they were young. …
Bo Xia is not a plant, so she can naturally feel some changes.
However, her perception of love was always limited. She always felt that he had rejected her in the past, so naturally he would no longer have any feelings for her. For someone as good as him, being able to be friends with him was enough.
She never thought this day would come, let alone that he would say such words at this moment.
The carriage was so quiet that she could hear the sound of the watch hands moving on his raised hand.
A layer of mist gradually covered his eyes, and his fingertips rubbed her lips ambiguously. The face that had appeared in her dreams was getting closer and closer to her, and it actually revealed such an irresistible expression.
Bo Xia's heart skipped a beat, and she almost fell into this vortex of tenderness.
But at the last second, reason prevailed and she turned her face away, allowing the warm touch to remain on her face.
"Jin Yunyan..." Bo Xia's eyes were slightly damp, and her chest was heaving, perhaps from nervousness. "I haven't thought about it yet."
Her voice unconsciously revealed a softness, so soft that it could easily smooth out all the wrinkles in his heart.
The car just arrived at the destination, she unbuckled her seat belt and got out in a hurry.
However, the ambiguous atmosphere in the car lingered for a long time. In front of his eyes were still the clear and affectionate eyes she had just used when she looked at him, stained with a moist light.
The light hit his brow, and from a distance, Jin Yunyan's eyes looked unfathomable.
Under the influence of alcohol, the usually reserved man let out a lot of emotion. He reached out to loosen his tie, and when he tilted his head back, his sexy Adam's apple rolled up and down.
Ever since they met again, he hadn't really considered her a friend. For someone as gentle as him, the fact was, there were too many people he could truly call friends; most of them were relationships of interest.
If he didn't have some ideas, why would he think of taking the initiative to meet her?
He is not a restrained person. It is not easy for him to endure until now and still take his time. But it seems that he still scared the other party a little.
Jin Yunyan didn't know if this was the right time. He squinted his eyes and endured the pain in his head until Bo Xia called him after he got home. He unbuttoned his cuffs as he walked out: "Hmm?"
"Is your headache better?"
He heard a smile on the corner of her lips, and her voice was a little hoarse: "Are you worried about me?"
She didn't know how to respond for a moment, as if the answer was yes would mean something.
Jin Yunyan didn't embarrass her and sat on the sofa: "You said you treated me as a friend, but you didn't admit that you were worried about me, and I can't hug you."
"Bo Xia," he said with a hint of laughter, "Isn't it a bit unfair to treat you differently?"
She realized belatedly that he was fussing over what she said in front of Meng Xubai today, but she didn't know when he had become so petty. She wanted to deliberately rebuke him, but she blurted out her words without thinking carefully: "You don't want to hug me, you want..."
She was about to say the second half of her words when she suddenly realized something.
Hearing the laughter on the other end, she hung up the phone in a panic.
Jin Yunyan sat there for a long time. When he got up to go to the bathroom, he saw a strange self in the mirror. He himself couldn't understand why she didn't say anything just now. He seemed to be coaxed again.
No one could forget that night.
Bo Xia admitted that Jin Yunyan was indeed a person who easily aroused physical impulses. His dressing style was always ascetic, and he was gentlemanly and polite. She felt that a vulgar person like herself would naturally have feelings for him.
But she didn't know how to define that feeling.
Should we attribute those feelings to the aftereffects of a secret crush in youth, or to the mutual attraction between adult men and women?
She has been so rational in the past two years and has always handled things quickly and efficiently, but now she doesn't know how to figure out what she is thinking.
What's more, what does Jin Yunyan think of her? Maybe he just has a little affection for her like she does. They may only have a faint affection for each other. Then can these affections support them to continue?
They didn't contact each other much during those days, Jin Yunyan just showed concern from time to time but didn't push too hard. Jin Yunyan wasn't the type to ask questions, nor was he the type who wasn't willing to wait.
He had only invited her to a Wansheng product launch a week later. He'd heard that Wansheng Technology had recently developed a surgical robot, which had already garnered significant industry attention. Many medical industry leaders and media reporters were also invited.
After Bo Xia arrived, Song Cen arranged a seat for her in the first row. When she saw Jin Yunyan coming on stage, she smiled at him politely.
From a distance, the woman was wearing a black suit with a white belt around her neck, looking very dignified.
A hint of tenderness appeared between Jin Yunyan's brows. After going on stage, he took the microphone from the host. The screen behind him began to show a simulated surgical operation. Jin Yunyan began to talk about the scientific and technological technology of the new product movement and introduced the impact of related technological advances on the international community.
She was so close to him that she recalled how she used to feel when she looked up to him.
At the end of the press conference, Jin Yunyan spoke gently: "Promoting technological development and medical and health progress has always been Wansheng's pursuit, and protecting lives is my personal belief."
There was thunderous applause from the audience, and Bo Xia looked at him from afar and also applauded him sincerely.
She went outside to wait for him, wanting to say hello before leaving. But Jin Yunyan was stopped by the reporters. He stood in the distance, calm and indifferent. His slender figure made it clear who was the focus of the crowd at a glance.
Bo Xia took some time to go to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, who looked a little unfamiliar but also shining compared to the past. She couldn't help but wonder if this was the best ending for them now?
They all work in the industries they love and have become better versions of themselves.
They are still friends, and he still remains the best in her heart. Maybe they will each start their own families in the future, but at least they will greet each other politely when they meet.
Occasionally, when she recalls her youth, she will remember an irreplaceable boy who appeared in that hottest summer.
But what if we really are together?
They are not of the same class and may not necessarily get to the point of marriage. They don't understand each other well enough, because a momentary love may end up hurting both parties because they find out that the other person is not who they imagined.
If being with Jin Yunyan would destroy the once flawless Jin Yunyan in her heart, wouldn't it be better not to have started at all?
She thought a lot and waited until the show was over before walking out. She saw Jin Yunyan waiting for her outside. He apologized considerately and asked her if she found it too boring when she just listened.
Only when he was so close to her did she realize he was wearing the collar pin she had given him. She had never seen him wear it before, and he saved it for such formal occasions.
They had clearly had such an ambiguous scene before, but now when they met, Bo Xia was not as reserved as he had imagined. Instead, she was very relaxed and generous. She glanced at him and said, "You said that as if I hadn't really listened carefully and was just here to make up the crowd. How could I find it boring?"
Finally she added, "You just said it very well."
That day they went out for dinner and then took a walk by the lake. It was no different from their usual time together. The only difference was that when she lost her balance, he reached out to help her, but she quickly dodged.
Jin Yunyan thought she was shy and didn't take it to heart.
The flowers of late spring have almost all fallen, and the cool air from the water surface blows through my sleeves. According to the inherent direction of the story, it is probably going to have a romantic ending.
But Bo Xia was looking at the lake, not knowing what came to mind.
"Jin Yunyan, do you know?"
She said: "When I was little, I envied others because they had teddy bears, beautiful new clothes, silver bracelets, pretty hairpins, and beautiful birthday cakes. I envied them for having all the exquisite and beautiful things."
At that time, she envied other girls who were loved by their parents like princesses, while she had nothing.
"Later, when I had money, I bought a lot of things I had always wanted, but I didn't seem to be as satisfied or happy. In fact, many times, I no longer needed those toys or jewelry. I just had a certain obsession and paranoia to fill my past self."
Bo Xia's eyes were wet. "You seem to be the doll in the window that I looked at for a long time in my childhood. It was the gift I wanted most. But this gift has expired. If I open it again, I won't feel the same as I did when I was seventeen."
People will always be trapped for their whole lives for things they couldn't get when they were young, but what they can't get is not what they can get. Whether it is the preference and care they longed for in childhood or the unrequited love in adolescence, she should let it go and move on.
Jin Yunyan's smile froze in his eyes.
He had imagined many possible follow-ups with her, but he never thought he would hear these words. So, to her, was he just the gift she loved when she was young?
The way she looked at me just before she came here didn't express any other emotions, but meant goodbye?
"So, Jin Yunyan, can we just be friends?" Her smile was full of tolerance. "Otherwise, let's just stop here, okay?"
She once dreamed that the person she liked would look back at her one day and tell her that he had liked her for a long time. However, when the day came when her secret love was reciprocated, the waves in her heart were not as big as she had imagined.
The world of youth was so small, so small that his every move concerned her mind, so small that she regarded him as the whole world.
But later she discovered that the world was much wider than she had imagined, and in her dark and boring youth, the real hero was never Jin Yunyan, but herself who dared to love and hate and pursued the light from beginning to end.
Jin Yunyan has always been calm and composed, otherwise he would not have been able to control his emotions so well and not let her see anything.
Before today, he thought they would be together naturally because of her unthought-of words. He never thought he would get such an answer from her.
Okay?
Of course he didn't want to agree. How could a man like him who was ambitious and determined to get everything give up the opportunity to catch her?
But he still lowered his eyes and looked at her for a long time with heartache. Even though she rejected him so ruthlessly, his voice was still gentle: "Don't cry, wasn't I the one who was rejected?"
After a long ten years, Jin Yunyan finally tasted the bitter fruit of what he had sown with his own hands. At that moment, the bullet shot in his youth hit him right in the middle of his eyebrows.
He wondered, was she as sad as he was now?
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