Chapter 84: Haruka [End of Text] She will be like Xia Tian...
She once felt that her life was always in a plum rain that would never stop.
The more she struggled, the deeper she sank.
The person she loves is the bright moon and the warm sun, who are not from the same world as her, so their two intersecting lines will eventually get farther and farther away.
But Jin Yunyan seemed to always prove her pure love to her.
He is not a valley, but his echo is deafening.
Bo Xia lowered her eyes to look at the ring, dotted with red gemstones, like a fiery symbol of love. Suddenly, she felt a surge of courage. The thing she hadn't been able to obtain all those years ago, the thing she had thought she was destined to never have, had finally come to her.
From the past to the present, wandering travelers like her finally have a place to stay, and no longer have to feel that their hearts are always wandering and unable to find their way home.
After returning to Beijing, Meng Xubai asked her what exactly happened at home. She shook her head and said it was not a big deal and had almost been resolved.
Meng Xubai looked at her, hesitant to speak. Bo Xia knew what he wanted to say. He understood her so well, and he just wanted to tell her not to always carry it alone, and that there would be reliable people around her.
She thought of how he had been both a mentor and a friend over the years, helping her so much. "Thank you."
Meng Xubai felt that she was seriously ill: "What are you thanking me for? Thank me for talking nonsense to your boyfriend?"
She was a little confused: "What did you say to him?"
"What else can I say?" Meng Xubai sometimes realized that he was quite childish. "He called me in the middle of the night with a very bad attitude. I was so angry that I told him I was going home for a blind date."
“…”
The smile on Bo Xia's face faded, thinking about the day when Jin Yunyan misunderstood that she had left, but he still chased Nan An regardless. If it were her, she might not be able to do the same as him.
She couldn't help but say, "Don't lie to him next time."
"Still protecting his own shortcomings?"
Bo Xia said seriously: "Yes, protecting someone."
He suddenly felt something stuck in his throat. He caught a glimpse of a ring on her hand from the corner of his eye and asked, "Are you guys settled?"
"Almost. If there is a wedding day, I would like to invite you to the wedding."
Meng Xubai knew it was difficult to get into her heart. He thought Jin Yunyan was the one and only one for her, and he could never compare to her. He always felt regretful, but he also felt that too many things in this world require fate, and that unrequited feelings always need to be slowly let go.
Being able to continue being friends with her in the future is already the best ending for them.
It was time to get off work, and Jin Yunyan picked her up downstairs.
The weather was getting warmer, and he put on a light long coat and looked at her from a distance.
Perhaps because they had been together for a long time, the two of them had a better understanding of each other. On the way back after dinner, Jin Yunyan asked her if she had anything to say to him.
There was a traffic light ahead, so Jin Yunyan stopped the car steadily and just turned off the music in the car.
Bo Xia asked him if he had seen a psychologist. Jin Yunyan frowned and said, "You know?"
He had recently found a professional psychologist in the industry, but instead of having Bo Xia see him, he went to see her several times himself. He hoped that by consulting a professional, he could help alleviate her pain.
Bo Xia hummed, "Qinghe told me."
Jin Yunyan: "..."
He felt helpless and didn't know why this person changed sides.
Bo Xia added, "She also told me to be careful about whether you have psychological problems."
“…”
"I told you that you are a bit perverted."
Jin Yunyan looked at her helplessly: "Have you learned to slander me now?"
After a while, Bo Xia said seriously: "Please make some arrangements for me as well. There are actually some things in my heart that I haven't completely opened up yet. I want to help myself get out of it."
"Okay," Jin Yunyan said, steering the car. "But you have to promise me that you won't force yourself to change. Learn to accept your emotions, whether they are good or bad."
She couldn't help laughing: "Professional."
In fact, Bo Xia has been slowly reconciling many things, but she still occasionally wants to know how she should handle the relationship with her relatives.
When the car drove into the garage, someone grabbed her wrist and prevented her from getting out: "Didn't you say I'm a pervert?"
“…”
After receiving psychological counseling for a period of time and occasionally reading some books, she felt that she had indeed received a lot of help.
Many things actually need to be viewed objectively, such as understanding the parents' past situations and sufferings, not to find excuses for them, but to recognize the true relationship between her and her parents.
Even if it wasn't her, anyone else would be treated like this.
The experiences she endured had no bearing on her worth.
For example, she needs to acknowledge everything she has suffered in the past, but more importantly, she needs to see the broad future and start to have her own life.
In June, Nan'an No. 1 Middle School invited some outstanding alumni to return to the school to give speeches. She and Jin Yunyan were among the invited guests. She decided to take this opportunity to go back and resolve the remaining issues with her parents.
It is the rainy season in southern Eucalyptus, and the wet rain soaks every inch of the air.
The road that Bo Xia had walked on for many years is now lined with lush camphor trees, and the leaves rustle when the wind blows.
She couldn't help but look at the building, and didn't go upstairs for a long time.
Jin Yunyan stood beside her: "Do you need me to go up?"
She shook her head.
A fallen leaf happened to blow on her shoulder, and Jin Yunyan raised his hand to brush it away for her: "Promise me that you will never get hurt no matter what."
"Um."
When Bo Xia saw them again, for some reason, she felt they had aged considerably, and many of the things that had happened seemed to have happened in a previous life.
They talked a lot that day, and Bo Xia began to feel relieved. In fact, the best way to deal with their relationship was very simple, which was to take it lightly and understand that no one in the world was obligated to treat you well unconditionally, not even your parents.
Accept that you are not loved, and then separate yourself from family relationships, and treat this as just another experience of your own.
The most important thing is that she no longer needs to worry about whether they love her or not, because that is their own issue. What she needs to consider is how to reshape herself after experiencing such a past.
From now on, she no longer has to be trapped in the vortex of love and wait for others to give her love, but instead become the master of her own life.
She no longer became emotional, no longer put herself in the position of a victim, no longer complained about injustice, and no longer asked them to do anything.
She no longer loves or hates.
Being away from them means being away from happiness, and being close to them means being close to pain, but mother, I don’t want this bloodstained love anymore.
Bo Xia told them that she had an obligation to support them, but the additional amount would depend on their attitude.
"I hope you can accept the fact that I am an independent adult and stop interfering in my life. Each of us is an independent individual and should not be dependent on or control the lives of others."
Maybe they don’t quite understand these words, or maybe they just can’t accept them.
However, she began to attribute their relationship more to interests and began to see herself more as the superior in the relationship.
She is the one who is qualified to make the decision, otherwise she can just walk away and show them at any time.
"If you can't respect me in the future, I can go abroad and go further, so that you will never find me." Bo Xia continued, "As for whether you are partial to Bo Yi or not, it has nothing to do with me. I won't care about her. I only have the obligation to take care of you."
Of course her mother quarreled with her that day, but she no longer became a hysterical person like her mother as she had in the past. She finally didn't have to worry about becoming as ugly as her parents one day, because she was just herself, independent of anyone.
She will have a bright future. She knows how to love, and if one day she can really start a family, she will treat her children well.
She will grow up to be a completely different person from her parents. Even if she didn't receive love and affirmation since childhood, she will not let herself repeat their mistakes.
Before leaving, Bo Xia told them, "Actually, I've thought many times that you haven't received much love, and your lives are unfortunate. I just don't want to be like you. You sent me to school, allowing me to see more possibilities in life and letting me know how vast the world is. I need to be grateful for that."
She said: "From now on, I will lead a life different from yours."
It is said that our parents’ era has limitations. Maybe it is true. When material needs are not met, people tend to neglect spiritual pursuits.
Now people's thinking is slowly changing. Isn't this also a kind of progress of the times?
Bo Xia said goodbye to them as if he was saying goodbye to his entire past.
It was rare for her to be so rational, but it made her father begin to feel as if he had lost something forever.
After going downstairs, Bo Xia did not look back, just like a bird that flew out of a cage and would never look back at the cage that once trapped her.
In the past, she always felt that she had no home, especially a girl who would always be regarded as spilled water. She lived under other people's roofs when she was young, and when she grew up, she found it difficult to settle down in that place.
But from now on, she is not without a home, wherever she is is her home.
She saw Jin Yunyan waiting for her not far away, and she walked over briskly and hugged his neck. It was the first time she was so serious——
"Jin Yunyan, I love you."
The woman's surging love filled him, and Jin Yunyan suddenly wanted to thank fate for giving him a unique gift: "I love you too."
Bo Xia got on the car and saw the greenery on both sides as she drove backwards. She thought that she would never blindly pursue love again. From now on, she would have a wider world.
The next day they went to attend the anniversary celebration of No. 1 Middle School. It was the beginning of summer and the plants looked like they were painted with a layer of rich paint, which gradually became darker with each rain.
The sturdy osmanthus tree on campus is still standing there, standing tall as a witness to the youthful era.
Bo Xia prepared a manuscript and shared her experiences with her junior classmates. Some asked about her thoughts on the construction industry, and others inquired about her choice of major. She answered each question one by one. When it came to the last question, someone asked what exactly supported her hard work. She thought for a moment and glanced at the sky outside the small auditorium window: "Maybe it's a bird's longing for the vast sky."
Even though her feathers were clipped when she was young, she always wanted to fly out so that she could see the outside world.
After the speech, she sat there in a daze and suddenly heard her own name.
The school leaders thanked her for setting up a scholarship to help underprivileged students pursue their dreams. She was a little confused, and when she turned her head, she caught a glimpse of Jin Yunyan's profile. It was his turn to give a speech, and amid the cheers, she could clearly see the light shining from him.
He always understood her and knew what she really wanted.
As she left the campus that day, she saw the humid plum rains still falling outside. Rain is always the main theme of the southern eucalyptus trees, making you wonder why there is always so much rain here.
But although the weather was still humid, she felt that the rainy season in her life was over.
There was a noisy sound in my ears, and several classmates came up to them and asked them noisily if they were a couple and if they were in a premature love relationship.
Jin Yunyan glanced at her, his eyes smiling: "I've been secretly in love with you for a long time, and I'm just catching up with you now."
Then there was a burst of booing.
After having dinner with several teachers from the school, Bo Xia took his hand and went back to the hotel. She drank some wine and felt very happy again. She became interested in other things.
Seeing her being so proactive, Jin Yunyan raised his hand and pulled open her clothes to facilitate her movements.
His mind and eyes were filled with the sight of his lover sucking, so naturally he felt a different kind of psychological satisfaction. The normally elegant lady now had lust in her eyes and her breathing was particularly sweet.
Bo Xia was a little unbearable because of his panting, and her voice became louder.
He held her waist to control her speed, his voice intermittent: "Bullying me?"
When this person started to act like a spoiled brat, it was a little hard for her to bear.
And he was saying something about her bullying him, but when she ran out of strength, he still took the initiative. Bo Xia was a little confused, and his fingers were held by her: "I don't think I was wearing it just now. What if you get pregnant?"
Seeing her expression suddenly sober up, Jin Yunyan suppressed his smile and said, "I was just kidding."
“…”
She couldn't help but bite his chest, and it took a full week for the bite mark to completely disappear.
Not long after returning to Beijing, Bo Xia learned that the building she designed had won an award. She booked a plane ticket to attend the award ceremony. While speaking on the stage, she suddenly discovered Jin Yunyan sitting in the audience.
She comes down with the certificate and he stands up and hugs her.
Afterwards, Bo Xia asked him why he showed up, and he said he didn't want to see the previous incident happen again.
"..." Her memory is so good that she even remembers the last time Meng Xu hugged her to win the White Collar Award.
She found that Jin Yunyan was always arguing with Meng Xubai. Sometimes she knew in her heart that he was using the same old tricks, but every time she went back she had to coax him for a long time.
Jin Yunyan only stayed for half a day, as he had other matters at the company and returned to Beijing. Bo Xia, on the other hand, stayed to socialize and had a few meals with a few designers in the industry.
After staying outside for a few days, Bo Xia finally returned to Jin Yunyan's home after a long journey.
When she went in, the endless summer in the yard was in full bloom, with blue and pink flower balls connected together, showing her the arrival of summer so vividly.
She saw Jin Yunyan watering the plants. The faint morning light fell on the water, reflecting a small rainbow.
Bo Xia wondered what the weather was like in Nan'an. It should be the same as here.
No matter how long the rainy season lasts, sunny weather will eventually arrive.
Jin Yunyan raised his eyes to look at her: "What are you standing there for?"
Bo Xia then walked towards him, as if stepping into an endless summer.
From now on, she will be like summer, high-spirited, passionate and fearless.
——End of text——
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