(Four)
(Four)
For the next few days, I was busy with the Dark Clothes Team, unwilling to see her again. The number of followers of the Divine Moon Cult continued to grow, which made me very upset. So I stayed with the brothers of the Dark Clothes Team for twelve hours a day, not even returning to the Villa.
It was not until I heard Sai Huatuo tell me that she had fallen ill again that I returned to the villa and wanted to see her.
Hearing the knock on the door, Leng Yue smiled and scolded: "The door is open, why are you knocking? Come in quickly."
I sat by her bedside once again. Having not seen her for so many days, her haggardness was heartbreaking. Her face had faded, its color completely drained away, leaving it pale as if it were about to break. Her lips had turned a pale purple, revealing she was even more severely poisoned than a few days ago.
"Is my sister feeling better?" I asked.
"It's okay, it's all just a passing cloud." She looked at me carefully for a few seconds and asked with concern, "Nong Yue, why have you lost so much weight?"
He asked me, raising his hand to stroke my cheek.
This sudden gesture of intimacy made me a little panicked. I quickly blocked her hand that was stretched out in the air with my fan and said casually, "Sister, Nong Yue is not a child."
Leng Yue chuckled at first, then asked me more seriously: "Honestly, I haven't seen you for many days, what are you busy with?"
"Nothing, just the same old things," I said.
"It doesn't seem to be going well."
"No, it went smoothly."
Since she can't be shaken about Shi Qiuyan's affairs, why should I tell her about it and make her upset?
But her inquisitive nature remained unchanged, and she figured out the whole story with just a few glances.
"I can't hide anything from my sister. Nong Yue doesn't want to tell her because she's afraid she'll be upset."
"You are really my good brother." She said with a smile.
I felt a little embarrassed. She had only said it as a joke, so why had I taken it so seriously? I had been secretly mad at her for days, and now, even though she was so weak, she still cared about my condition.
It is such a happy thing to have a sister.
I want to take a good look at this gentle and considerate sister.
A single white hair caught my eye, glaringly white amidst the sea of black. I wonder how much energy and suffering she's endured these past few days. She's too smart, overseeing everything. She's in this state now, not realizing it's all due to overwork. A woman's virtue lies in her lack of talent; knowing too much is a bad thing.
She said there were only two solutions to Shi Qiuyan's situation: one was for her to die, in which case Shi Qiuyan would disappear with her; the other was to resolve the feud, so that Shi Qiuyan would no longer help Ban Tianyue, and the threat from the Shi family army would be eliminated. The second method seemed to be the better choice.
"I don't want Mingri to know," she said.
In that case, let Nong Yue accompany my sister.
Leng Yue asked me to move the empty chair in front of her, then close my eyes, imagine Shi Qiuyan sitting opposite me, and communicate with him in my mind.
She recounted her grievances, growing more and more emotional as she spoke. Tears flowed like a bursting dam, until she was hoarse and even breathing became difficult. Her hair, wet with tears and sweat, lay matted to her face. I reached out to brush her hair back, and when my fingertips touched her face, it felt cold as ice.
I was a little scared. I'd never seen her lose her temper like this, nor had I ever heard her suffer so much. It was just the beginning, and she was already so miserable. If this whole process lasted for months, what would become of her?
"Maybe Nong Yue's idea is too selfish. If you want to leave, Nong Yue is willing to help you." I said.
"I'm staying," she said.
"But Nong Yue really can't bear it..."
"It will pass." As soon as he finished speaking, he fell into a deep sleep.
She didn't come for me, but she trusted me so much. She told me things that she didn't want to tell Sai Huatuo.
She was so honest and genuine with me, and her peace of mind made me feel at ease too.
This sister is so nice.
I leaned over and kissed her pale forehead. The cold sweat had a sour taste mixed with a faint herbal aroma, which was unforgettable.
Leng Yue, I will protect you well. Even if there is no Hua Tuo, you will never be alone.
Hearing a burst of disordered breathing, I turned around and saw Sai Huatuo standing at the door in a panic, looking quite embarrassed. I smiled calmly and motioned him to come in and take a look.
He hesitated, but still walked in. Seeing Leng Yue's expression, he gasped and quickly took her pulse. A moment later, Sai Huatuo looked at me in disbelief, and pulled me out of the room with an excited look.
"Master Nong Yue, what exactly is going on?" he asked impatiently.
I told him the whole story in detail. After hearing this, Sai Huatuo threw up his sleeves and was about to kneel on the spot.
I was shocked: "Sai Huatuo, what are you doing?!?"
"Master Nong Yue, Ouyang will remember your kindness forever."
"Sai Huatuo is too polite. I just do what I want to do," I said.
He nodded meaningfully and said, "Thank you. I will take good care of her."
What else can I say? I just know what's good for me.
That night, I heard Sai Huatuo say to Leng Yue, "I'll stay with you. Nong Yue still has things to do with the Dark Clothes Team, so don't let him run around."
I stood outside the door and smiled bitterly.
Maybe I do like Leng Yue a little bit. But I know in my heart that being her brother is much easier than being her husband. Leng Yue already has someone in her heart, so what can I do to her?
Sai Hua Tuo, you think too much.
It had long been my habit to spy on her, especially during the time Leng Yue was battling her inner demons.
At first, Sai Huatuo was very resistant, but because I always hid in time and denied it when we met, he couldn't say anything to me. Gradually, he got used to it. After all, no one can control another's heart.
I thought I would always be there for her secretly, until one day, when she nearly went insane because she couldn't forgive herself. I couldn't stand it any longer and knocked on her door without saying anything.
Sai Huatuo politely invited me in. I fanned myself and slowly walked to the bedside. Leng Yue's complexion had indeed improved considerably, but her face was even more haggard than before. She was already frail, and now she had lost even more weight. If it weren't for us, she wouldn't have to put herself in such a difficult position.
"Aren't we being too selfish by doing this?" I said.
Sai Huatuo sighed, "I never imagined that Shi Qiuyan would cause her such great harm. Seeing her so haggard, I feel extremely guilty and remorseful."
"In that case, let's help her." I pulled out the Soft Dream Powder from my bosom. This poison, concocted by me personally, has a delicate floral fragrance. After taking it, one can pass away painlessly in a sweet dream.
"No!" Sai Huatuo reached out to grab it.
I blocked his hand with my fan and asked coldly, "Sai Huatuo, don't you love her very much? Leng Yue always thinks of us, shouldn't we also think of her for once?"
"But we should respect her choice, right?"
"That's your excuse!"
"I won't let you hurt her!"
Before he finished speaking, the attack came.
"Sai Huatuo, can you really bear to see her in so much pain?" I asked as I responded.
"I'll go with her!"
Leng Yue heard the noise, half-opened her eyes, and asked dazedly, "Who?"
Sai Huatuo and I stopped fighting immediately. I felt a little regretful for our fight. I was always so careless that I forgot she was resting. Sai Huatuo came forward and said softly, "I'm sorry for waking you."
Leng Yue sat up and asked what was going on. I had no choice but to tell her the truth: "Nong Yue hopes that sister can treat herself better."
Sai Huatuo also said, "Leng Yue, seeing you struggling so hard to deal with your inner pain every day, I can't bear it. If we weren't holding you back, perhaps you wouldn't have to face so much pain. So, Nong Yue and I hope you can think about yourself and not just think about us."
Leng Yue smiled, and her smile was as warm as the spring breeze.
"Nong Yue, Ming Ri, thank you," she said, "Without anyone restraining me, I sincerely choose to stay."
"Is this true?" I expressed my doubt.
She said that people will not do things that are not good for themselves. There will be some benefits behind everything, including pain.
"I'm facing all this not for you, but for myself. I'm not afraid of you laughing at me, but ever since Xiaoyan died, I haven't had the courage to touch on matters of the heart. In fact, I know in my heart that if I don't face all this, he will be my eternal pain. But I dare not face it, because behind all this, it's not him who is wrong, but me. I must face the darkest side of my heart, which makes me feel ashamed and afraid. Although there will be the joy of rebirth after facing it, people always like to muddle through, don't they?"
"If I had faced everything bravely, he wouldn't have come to this dream. Even if he had, he wouldn't have come to oppose you. You can't escape what you have to face and bear. This is my responsibility to you, and it's also my responsibility to myself."
Sai Huatuo held her hand tightly and said firmly: "I will accompany you."
But I still don't understand. Is it really so important to forgive those who hurt you?
Leng Yue used the example of Sai Huatuo. On the surface, Sai Huatuo hated Ouyang Feiying for abandoning him, but deep down, he truly hated the fact that his disability had brought disgrace upon his family. This explanation might sound plausible, but my situation was completely different from Sai Huatuo's.
No matter how ruthless Ouyang Feiying may be, blood is thicker than water. But I have an irreconcilable feud with Ban Tianyue. He murdered over thirty members of my Sima family. Could it be that the person I hate deep down isn't Ban Tianyue, but myself?!
"Nong Yue, when you realized that you had been working for your enemy, was there ever a moment when you hated yourself?" Leng Yue asked me.
Hate, how can I not hate! I hate Wuyou Palace Master for not telling me the truth earlier, I hate Bantianyue for being so cruel and making us brothers kill each other, and I hate myself even more for not being able to see through Bantianyue's true face earlier!
"On the surface, Ban Tianyue is your murderer, and getting rid of him is a matter of course. But deep down, you can't accept that you've been deceived by Wuyou Palace Master and Ban Tianyue for so many years, and you can't forgive yourself. Because you've been smart all your life, but you failed to recognize that Ban Tianyue is your murderer. Therefore, you not only want Ban Tianyue to die, but you want him to die horribly. You're willing to do anything to achieve this, right?"
She was right. For revenge, I'd stop at nothing, no matter how despicable the means, no matter how heavy the sacrifice. I'll never forgive Ban Tianyue, simply because my heart is filled with hatred. As long as Ban Tianyue survives, I'll never forgive myself.
"What if I forgive myself?" I asked.
Leng Yue walked to my side, smiled and put her little hand on mine.
She said, "Palace Master Wuyou's concealment of the truth was forced upon her, and it was not your fault in the slightest. Unable to forgive yourself, you always resort to extreme and unsatisfactory methods of revenge. And because of your vengeful nature, you often act rashly before the perfect opportunity, resulting in ineffective results and even the loss of a life. If you could forgive yourself, you would understand that Bantianyue's death was not 'our' plan, but his own karma. He will pay for his mistakes sooner or later. Then, you will be able to calm down and, with a calm mind, devise a brilliant strategy to subdue Bantianyue once and for all."
At that moment, I suddenly understood the good intentions of the Lord of Wuyou Palace.
The Master of Wuyou Palace once said that I held a greater importance in her heart than Bantianyue. She gave me the Ice Silk Soft Armor she had woven for Bantianyue and even embroidered the method for breaking the Golden Buddha's Indestructible Body onto it. She understood me, and knew my extreme temper, so she solemnly warned me on the armor: Never seek revenge unless you are certain of victory.
It turned out that she hid the truth from me not to cover up Bantianyue, but to protect me.
Palace Master Wuyou, what merit has Nong Yue possessed to earn your favor? I will never forget this kindness and this love. If there is an afterlife, Nong Yue wishes to be at your side.
Suddenly, everything became clear. I no longer hated my stepmother, and I no longer hated myself.
My heart felt warm, and the corners of my lips curled up slightly.
"Now you understand why I have to face this pain?" Leng Yue patted my shoulder.
Sai Huatuo also came to my side and put his hand on my other shoulder: "It seems that we also need to face our own pain."
I smiled slyly: "Sister, how about you help me and Sai Huatuo sort out our emotions?"
Leng Yue snorted coldly, grabbed my ear with one hand and Sai Huatuo's ear with the other: "Aha, you two let go of your feelings right after hearing this. How can I help you? Pretend for me? Pretend for me again, huh?"
"Oh, oh, sister, please be merciful. Nong Yue will never dare to do it again!" I said with a smile.
Sai Huatuo also grinned and said, "Oh, let go, let go, it hurts!"
Leng Yue let go of her hand and said with a smile: "Sister, I'm tired. You two can go and release it by yourselves. Remember to go together!"
Another joke like that. Now, not only am I no longer angry, but I actually find this joke quite amusing. Leng Yue's ideas have always been different from ours, so perhaps this remark had no malicious intent.
I saw Sai Huatuo shaking his head helplessly, and I couldn't help but laugh when I remembered how serious I was back then. I calmly waved the folding fan in my hand and gave Sai Huatuo a frivolous smile: "Let's go, Sai Huatuo, are your ears itchy again?"
Sai Huatuo was a smart man, and he understood everything immediately. He smiled and rubbed his ears, saying to Leng Yue, "I didn't expect you to be so stubborn. I have to be careful of you in the future."
So we left the room "in pairs".
Walking out of the room, Sai Huatuo patted my shoulder and said to me seriously, "You'll get used to it. Don't mind it."
I smiled knowingly.
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