Leng Yue wakes up
Leng Yue sat cross-legged in the darkness for a long time, and scenes from the past flashed by like a movie - some in dreams and some in reality.
She thought of the tragic love between Shangguan Yan and Sima Changfeng. Although it was painful and entangled, she couldn't help herself.
She thought of Ouyang Mingri's infatuation with Shangguan Yan, which was fruitless but persistent.
She thought of Bantianyue's obsession with Rongmei, which was a bit absurd but timeless.
She thought of the unrequited love that the Lord of Wuyou Palace had for Bantianyue. Although her life was wasted, she had no regrets.
She remembered how she had been bullied for her introverted personality, she remembered how she had been ridiculed for her poor grades, she remembered how the good friend she had tried her best to protect was suddenly taken away by someone else, she remembered how she had never experienced any tear-jerking storms but had always been extremely lonely.
She remembered that she had liked to help others since she was a child, just to fill the loneliness and depression in her heart.
She remembered that since she was a child she had hoped that someone could help her when she was sad, even if it was just a word of comfort, or even a nice lie, as long as it could make her feel better.
She recalled the last semester of her third year of junior high school, when her new deskmate lent her his reference books and helped her with her studies unconditionally. Thus, the deskmate became her best friend.
She remembered that she was always particularly concerned about the feelings of others, especially those who were depressed, treated unfairly, or were withdrawn and isolated.
She remembered how she had always tried her best to help others, just so that they would no longer suffer the pain she had experienced.
Because of her past experiences with depression, Leng Yue developed a deep understanding of the art of comfort and reassurance. Gradually, she discovered she possessed both patience and talent, and a profession that perfectly complemented her strengths. So, she became a psychological counselor. This work sometimes led her to develop a savior complex, causing her unbearable suffering. This necessitated constant self-reflection and self-reflection.
When she first fell asleep, Leng Yue was very lucid. She had told Shangguan Yan bluntly: "Saving you is my need, not yours."
However, she had been in this dream for over four months. So much had happened during those four months that the line between dream and reality had gradually become increasingly blurred in her mind. And because she had developed genuine feelings for the characters in her dreams, she couldn't let go.
Leng Yue is not a savior, nor does she have the right to dictate other people's lives. Therefore, the idea that "this is the right thing to do" is inherently flawed. Even if it's painful, it's someone's own choice. Who is she to interfere with others and try to convince them that her ideas are superior?
If someone insists on their own choices, their own love and hate, and desperately protects their own pain, shouldn't we respect their personal wishes? Don't always think you're doing it "for their own good." When someone insists on their own beliefs and choices, giving them the right to suffer is the minimum respect between equal individuals.
Thinking of this, Leng Yue laughed at himself: "Leng Yue is not omnipotent."
Unconsciously, time had passed for a very long time, so long that Leng Yue didn't know how long she had been here. She was grateful that she had come to this dark place, which finally gave her the opportunity to reflect on herself.
Now, this black hole not only no longer frightened her, but made her feel very safe. Leng Yue was no longer panicking or afraid. She felt a little sleepy, so she lay down comfortably.
"Go to sleep, everything will be over when you wake up."
Leng Yue had a good sleep and opened her eyes contentedly. What she saw was Ouyang Mingri!
"You're awake," Mingri said softly, "Don't talk yet, just listen to me."
Leng Yue nodded.
"You've been in a coma for two days and had a high fever all night. It's not advisable for you to speak for the time being to avoid damaging your voice. Wait until you feel better before speaking. Please be patient for a few days, okay?" Mingri asked.
Leng Yue nodded.
"Would you like some water?" Mingri asked.
Leng Yue thought about it and nodded again.
Mingri poured Lengyue a glass of water and helped her sit up. He supported her with his right arm, and with his left hand, he held the glass to her lips. His face nearly brushed against her eyelashes as their eyes met. Lengyue had never been this close to Mingri before. She glanced at him timidly, then quickly lowered her head to avoid his gaze, her heart pounding.
"How do you feel now?" Mingri asked.
Only then did Leng Yue finally come to her senses, realizing she hadn't returned to reality as she'd hoped. This body now made her feel heavy and exhausted. Her entire body ached like it had been whipped, and her head felt dizzy, like she was drunk. Okay, she remembered. She had indeed been whipped for three days and three nights. Wasn't she supposed to wake up? Why was she still here? This feeling was awful.
Leng Yue shook her head with difficulty.
"Where do you feel uncomfortable? Are you dizzy?" Mingri asked. Lengyue nodded.
"Your fever lasted a whole day and night, so it's inevitable that you'll feel a little dizzy. Do you want to lie down for a while?"
Leng Yue felt her waist and back stiff, probably from lying down for too long. She didn't want to lie down any longer and wanted to get out of bed and walk around, but she couldn't even find the strength to move her butt. She wanted to find a fulcrum to lean on, to lean on Mingri, but she didn't dare to do so. She neither nodded nor shook her head, just lowered it.
Mingri gently held Lengyue in his arms and asked, "Will this make you feel better?"
What a gentle, considerate young man, Leng Yue thought. How wonderful it would be to have such a considerate boyfriend in real life. But it was all just a dream; once she woke up, everything was over. The more Leng Yue thought about it, the sadder she became, and she couldn't help but shed tears.
Mingri patted Lengyue gently and comforted her softly, "It's okay, everything is over. It's okay, Lengyue."
When Shangguan Yan came in with the porridge, Leng Yue was sitting on the bed, in a daze and crying, and she didn't notice anyone coming in. So when Shangguan Yan came over and sat beside her bed, she was startled a little, then turned her head away and wiped her eyes that were swollen like peaches with her hands.
"Lengyue, what's wrong with you?" Shangguan Yan asked.
Leng Yue forced out an unnatural smile and shook her head.
"Are you worried about something?" Shangguan Yan asked with concern.
Leng Yue still shook her head, but tears still fell uncontrollably. She wiped them away as they fell.
Shangguan Yan wiped Leng Yue's forehead, which was very hot.
"Leng Yue, you are very weak now. Crying like this is not good for your health. You have a lot of grievances in your heart, right?"
Leng Yue still shook his head.
Shangguan Yan sighed and said, "Eat something."
Leng Yue ate her dinner obediently, and Shangguan Yan arranged for her to lie down and rest. She was so tired from crying that she fell asleep as soon as she touched the pillow.
"Leng Yue is in a bad mood, just like Hua Tuo." Shangguan Yan said.
"Maybe it's because of my health." Mingri said.
"No, it's not." Shangguan Yan shook her head.
"What do you mean?" Mingri asked.
"Intuition." Shangguan Yan said, "She has a deep concern."
Yes, how could Leng Yue not be deeply troubled?
I thought everything was over, only to find myself back here again. Unreal stories, a treacherous world, friends I could only make but not keep, a young man I could only admire but not stay with. True and false, false and true, reunions and separations, love and hate... Leng Yue began to feel overwhelmed.
Moreover, Mingri's meticulous care clearly showed he was in love with her. But she could only stay for seven years. What would Mingri do after that? Leng Yue began to regret it. Why did she build her dream to the second level? Why not the first or third? If it were the first level, she would have woken up long ago; if it were the third level, she could stay there for thirty or fifty years, and by the time Mingri died, her love addiction would have been completely satisfied.
What's the point of being trapped here now?
Mingri used his brush to lightly sketch a lotus flower. It was ethereal and pure, untainted by anything. The thick lotus leaves set it off, making the lines of the lotus flower even more clear and soft.
Mingri put down his pen, picked up the painting, raised the corners of his lips, and smiled with satisfaction.
The sun rose, marking a new day. But Leng Yue no longer felt the excitement she once had. She felt like she was just waiting to die in another way. Every day, she spent nothing but eating and taking medicine, and just being in a daze. When would this end?
Leng Yue began to miss home.
Mingri walked over and sat next to her. Leng Yue turned her head slightly, neither looking at him nor showing any expression.
"What are you thinking about?" Mingri said, "Let me guess."
Leng Yue was silent.
"Do you miss your family?" Mingri asked carefully.
Leng Yue looked at Ming Ri in disbelief, tears welling up in her eyes.
Mingri held her in his arms and whispered, "I've never heard you mention your family. Perhaps it's too painful for you to mention it. Now that you're here, treat it as your home. Everyone here is your family. You're no longer alone, and you're no longer adrift. Is that okay?"
Leng Yue covered her mouth, her body trembling slightly, and tears flowing uncontrollably.
Sir, how could you know that this place will never be my home.
Mingri pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Lengyue. It was a blue and white porcelain necklace. The porcelain piece, shaped like a ruyi lock, was as white as jade. The pale blue lotus flower and the deep blue lotus leaf were layered and artistic. The exquisite braided cord showed the care and attention of the craftsman. This kind of jewelry has a soul.
Leng Yue gently stroked the exquisite porcelain pieces, intoxicated by this condensed beauty.
"Do you like it?" Ming Ri said with a smile, "I drew this pattern myself."
Leng Yue smiled at Ming Ri and nodded gently. But then her eyes dimmed again and she stuffed the necklace back into Ming Ri's hands without a word.
"You don't like it?" Mingri asked.
Leng Yue neither nodded nor shook her head, but just avoided Mingri's gaze.
"If you like it, why don't you take it?"
Leng Yue shook her head.
Mingri sighed softly and said, "You should take a rest."
After saying that, he left with a gloomy look.
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