The Battle of the Inner Demon (IV)
Nong Yue walked into the room gracefully, glanced at the sleeping Leng Yue, turned to Ming Ri and said, "Are we being too selfish?"
Mingri sighed and said, "I never imagined that Shi Qiuyan would cause such great emotional harm to her. Seeing her so haggard, I feel extremely guilty and remorseful."
"In that case, let's help her." Nong Yue took out a small bottle from her arms.
"No!" Mingri reached out to grab it, but was blocked by Nong Yue with a fan.
"Sai Huatuo, don't you love her very much? Leng Yue always thinks about us, shouldn't we also think about her for once?" Nong Yue asked.
"But we should respect her choice, right?" Mingri said.
"That's your excuse!" Nong Yue scolded in a low voice.
"I won't allow you to hurt her!" Mingri didn't give Nong Yue any further explanation and started fighting.
"Sai Huatuo, can you really bear to see her in so much pain?" Nong Yue questioned while responding.
"I'll go with her!" Mingri said.
Leng Yue, who was lying on the bed, heard the sound of fighting in a daze, half-opened her eyes and asked, "Who?"
Mingri and Nong Yue stopped fighting immediately upon hearing Leng Yue's voice. Nong Yue waved her fan silently. Mingri came forward and whispered, "I'm sorry for waking you."
Leng Yue sat up and saw Ming Ri and Nong Yue's faces were ashen. She couldn't help but ask, "What happened to you?"
Mingri and Nong Yue lowered their heads and no one spoke.
"Is it because of me?" Leng Yue asked tentatively.
"Nong Yue hopes that her sister can be nicer to her." Nong Yue said.
"Leng Yue, seeing you struggling to deal with your inner pain every day, I feel sorry for you. If we hadn't bound you, perhaps you wouldn't have to face so much pain. So, Nong Yue and I hope you can think about yourself and not just think about us." Mingri said.
Leng Yue smiled, and her smile was as sweet as the spring breeze with the scent of honey.
"Nong Yue, Mingri, thank you," Leng Yue said with a smile, "Without anyone restraining me, I sincerely choose to stay."
"Is this true?" Nong Yue asked.
Leng Yue smiled gently and said, "No one wants to do something that is not good for themselves. Behind everything, there will be some benefits, and the same is true for pain. I understand that you have seen me face these past pains step by step. The process is very difficult, but this is what I have to endure. Because I have avoided it for too long, and these pains have protected me for too long. Now I want to let them go, I must first face them."
"But, sister, do you really have to do this?" Nong Yue said.
"I'm facing all this not for you, but for myself. I'm not afraid of you laughing at me when I say this, but since Xiaoyan's death, I've never had the courage to touch matters of the heart. In fact, I know in my heart that if I don't face all this, he will be my eternal pain. But I dare not face it, because behind all this, it's not him who is bad, but me. I must face the darkest side of my heart, which makes me feel ashamed and afraid. Although there will be the joy of rebirth after facing it, people always like to muddle through, don't they?" Leng Yue smiled bitterly, "If I had faced all this bravely, he wouldn't have come to this dream. Even if he came, he wouldn't be against you. Things that should be faced and borne cannot be escaped after all. This is the responsibility I should take on you, and it is also the responsibility I should take on for myself."
"Lengyue, I will stay with you." Mingri held her hand tightly.
Leng Yue smiled and nodded.
Nong Yue frowned and asked, "Is it really so important to forgive someone who hurts you? Can I really forgive all the harm he has caused you?"
"If you want to forgive others, you must first forgive yourself." Leng Yue said, "On the surface, it is others who hurt us; in fact, the person we cannot forgive the most in our hearts is ourselves."
"Nong Yue doesn't quite understand."
"Then let me use your story as an example?" Leng Yue said with a smile.
"I'd like to hear the details." Nong Yue said while waving the fan.
"Tomorrow, you once couldn't get over the fact that your father abandoned you and refused to forgive your biological father. Is that true?" Leng Yue asked.
"It is true." Mingri replied.
"So, behind this idea, what exactly do you think deep down in your heart?" Leng Yue placed his hand on Mingri's chest.
Mingri was stunned for a moment, then fell into deep thought. After a long moment, he slowly said, "I was born with a disability, a disgrace to my family. I deserve it if he abandons me."
"That's exactly the idea," Leng Yue said. "On the surface, you blame your biological father for cruelly abandoning you; in reality, the person you truly refuse to forgive is yourself. You hate your birth disability, which prevented you from sharing the joy of family life with your parents. You think all this is because you're not good enough, but that's not true. You didn't have the right to choose, and it's not your fault that you were born with soft bones. If you can forgive yourself for your past shortcomings, forgive that innocent self, you'll see that it was precisely because of your birth disability that you were sent to your master, that you became the unparalleled Hua Tuo, that you met friends like us who shared life and death, and that you have everything you have today. If you no longer hate yourself, then will you still hate your father?"
"You're right, I understand." Mingri smiled knowingly.
"Nong Yue's situation is different from Sai Huatuo's. Bantianyue killed my entire family. Could it be that the person I hate deep in my heart is not Bantianyue, but myself?!" Nong Yue said coldly.
"Nong Yue, when you realized that you had been working for your enemy, was there ever a moment when you hated yourself?" Leng Yue asked.
"Hate, how can I not hate!" Nong Yue said self-deprecatingly, "I hate Wuyou Palace Master for not wanting to tell me the truth earlier. I hate Bantianyue for being so cruel and making us brothers kill each other. I hate myself even more for not being able to see through Bantianyue's true face sooner!"
"On the surface, Bantianyue is your murderous family enemy, so getting rid of him as soon as possible is a matter of course; but deep down in your heart, you cannot forgive yourself for being deceived by Wuyou Palace Master and Bantianyue for so many years, and you cannot forgive yourself even more. Because you have been smart all your life, but you failed to recognize that Bantianyue is your murderous family enemy. So, not only do you want Bantianyue to die, but you also want him to die in a very ugly way. You can do this at any cost, right?" Leng Yue asked.
Nong Yue's hand, tightly gripping the iron fan, trembled slightly as she asked unwillingly, "Even if I forgive myself, what good will it do?"
Leng Yue smiled, got off the bed, walked over to Nong Yue, and placed her hand on Nong Yue's trembling hand. "Palace Master Wuyou had no choice but to conceal the truth, and it wasn't your fault at all. Unable to forgive yourself, you always resort to extreme but unsatisfactory methods of revenge. And because you're so eager for revenge, you often act rashly before the best opportunity, resulting in half the effort and twice the result, and even losing your life. If you can forgive yourself, you'll understand that Bantianyue's death wasn't 'our' plan, but his own karma. He'll have to pay for his mistakes sooner or later. Then, you'll be able to calm down and, with a calm mind, devise a brilliant plan to subdue Bantianyue once and for all."
After hearing this, Nong Yue's expression gradually softened. He nodded thoughtfully and said, "Sister, what you said makes sense. These words made Nong Yue feel very confused. It seems that sometimes, facing pain is more painful than suffering forever. Sister, Nong Yue admires your courage."
"You are very brave too," Leng Yue released Nong Yue's hand, patted Nong Yue's shoulder and said, "Now you understand why I must face this pain, right?"
Mingri also walked to Nong Yue's side and placed his hand on Nong Yue's other shoulder: "It seems that we also need to face our own pain."
Nong Yue smiled wickedly and said to Leng Yue with a sly look in her eyes, "Sister, how about you help me and Sai Huatuo sort out our emotions?"
Leng Yue snorted coldly and grabbed someone's ear with one hand: "Aha, you two let go of your feelings right after listening to it. How can I help you to vent? Pretend for me? Pretend for me again, huh?"
"Oh, oh, sister, please be merciful. Nong Yue will never dare to do it again!" Nong Yue said with a smile.
Mingri also grinned and said, "Oh, let go, let go, it hurts!"
Leng Yue let go of her hand and said with a smile: "Sister, I'm tired. You two can go and release it by yourselves. Remember to go together!"
Mingri shook his head helplessly, while Nong Yue smiled and waved her fan, saying, "Let's go, Sai Hua Tuo. Are your ears itchy again?"
Mingri smiled and rubbed his ears, then said to Leng Yue, "I didn't expect you to be so stubborn. I have to be careful of you in the future."
After saying that, Mingri and Nong Yue said goodbye to Leng Yue together and left.
"Haha!" Leng Yue was so happy that she accidentally choked herself and bent over and coughed for a long time.
"It's so funny!" she said, laughing.
The next day, in the palace martial arts hall.
"Good! Good! Good!" The old man from the frontier applauded Leng Yue and Ming Ri's progress and asked, "What have you two learned recently? Your swordsmanship has improved a lot compared to the past few days!"
Leng Yue and Ming Ri smiled at each other, and Ming Ri said with a smile: "This is all thanks to Master's teachings yesterday."
"Oh, what did you realize? Tell me!" The old man from the border was very curious.
"Yesterday, Master discussed with us the concepts of selflessness and ruthlessness. I said that selflessness means getting rid of ego, and ruthlessness means not being attached to personal feelings and hatreds. Leng Yue said that if a person has pain in his heart, he must heal it. Master said that we must elevate the small self into the big self, and elevate small feelings into big feelings." Mingri said.
"Yes, so what?" the old man from the border continued to ask.
"Then, we should start with ourselves, heal the pain in our hearts first, and then break the ego. Once the ego is broken, personal grievances and hatreds will be resolved, and the heart of the greater self will naturally emerge." Leng Yue said.
"Hahahahaha!" The old man from the borderland laughed so hard he couldn't stop, praising repeatedly, "You are truly my good disciples! Well, a flower is a world, a leaf is a bodhi tree. You are the universe itself, and all things and principles are contained within it. As the saying goes, one begets two, two begets three, and three begets all things. The most important thing is to thoroughly understand this 'one', then the rest will be easily solved! Hahahaha!"
Tomorrow and Leng Yue will look at each other and smile.
"You two really didn't disappoint me! Gumutian, Gumutian, you are bound to lose! Haha! Tomorrow, Lengyue, now you can learn the last move of Wuwo Sword Technique!" The old man from the border said with a smile.
"Yes, Master!" Mingri and Lengyue said in unison.
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