The 54th melon
Lu Shiqing, Lu Yanyan's aunt.
She was once a powerful woman in the entertainment industry and the founder of Tianyao Entertainment.
Lu Yanyan grew up in a honey pot. Her father and brother doted on her very much. Only Lu Shiqing was extremely strict with her.
When Lu Yanyan thought she could live a beautiful life as a pampered little princess, she was dragged by Lu Shiqing to Tianyao to be an assistant. She was not even allowed to reveal her identity as the eldest daughter of the Lu family, causing her to be tortured by various celebrities.
This was the first time in Lu Yanyan's life that she suffered a beating from society.
Lu Shiqing said to Lu Yanyan, "Of course you can be the eldest daughter of the Lu family for your whole life, but your father can't protect you forever. Your brother will have to marry and have children in the future, so he can't be with you forever. The only one who can accompany you for the rest of your life is you."
"The Lu family's wealth is indeed enough for you to spend in several lifetimes. It's not a big problem if you don't know how to do business, but you can't be completely ignorant. Throwing you into society early to gain experience will at least ensure that you will know how to judge people in the future."
At that time, Lu Yanyan did not understand Lu Shiqing's "good intentions" and just thought that this person was probably sick.
Later, she witnessed with her own eyes a wealthy woman in the circle who inherited billions of dollars from her deceased husband, but was cheated of everything by her lover in just a few years.
Lu Yanyan understood two things from this:
1. Being in love is not desirable.
2. Knowing people is indeed important.
After Lu Yanyan inherited Tianyao from Lu Shiqing, although she still had only a limited understanding of management, she knew how to use people. Under her management, Tianyao did not grow any bigger, but it was making steady progress.
However, even so, it does not prevent Lu Yanyan from being afraid of Lu Shiqing.
Lu Shiqing is a person who is exquisite to every pore and is very picky. In today's Internet lingo, she might be called a "troublemaker", but she may be even more troublesome than the average troublemaker.
She is not only strict with herself, but also with others.
Not only Lu Yanyan, her father, and Lu Yanche were all afraid of Lu Shiqing.
Even Liu Mingqian, who was dug out by Lu Shiqing, was frightened when he saw Lu Shiqing.
At this moment, when Lu Shiqing appeared in the leisure cottage, she sat leisurely on the table and chairs in the courtyard like a queen, with an overly exquisite cake and dessert afternoon tea in front of her...
Liu Mingqian poked Lu Yanyan in fear, "Why is your aunt here!!!"
Lu Yanyan: "How should I know! My brother didn't even tell me!!!"
Lu Shiqing raised her eyebrows and glanced at Lu Yanyan, "You've gained weight. This face... you haven't taken care of it for a week, right? You're still the eldest daughter of the Lu family after all. Is this appropriate for you?"
Lu Yanyan was timid: "The production team didn't have a scale, so I ate too much. I will definitely eat less these two nights! I'll go to the beauty salon for maintenance after the show!"
Lu Shiqing glanced at Liu Mingqian next to her again, and her gaze finally fell on Liu Mingqian's bulging beer belly.
Liu Mingqian's forehead was covered with cold sweat, and he sucked in his lower abdomen hard... but he couldn't suck it back in...
Lu Shiqing sneered.
Liu Mingqian: T﹏T
"I'm not an actor anymore, you don't have to be so harsh on me..."
Lu Shiqing didn't even look at Liu Mingqian, but just sneered again and drank her black tea slowly.
Liu Mingqian: "Lose weight! I'm going to lose weight right now! I'm going to lose my belly!"
Several other guests watched this scene and were amazed.
"Who would have thought that the two biggest bosses on our show would be so well behaved in front of Ms. Lu!" Jiang Mingkai smacked his lips in amazement. "Little Mr. Lu doesn't even take her father seriously!"
"Forget about Mr. Lu and Teacher Liu," Zhou Zexu shrank back. "I'm a little scared when I see Ms. Lu! She has such a strong aura!"
"That's right, look at Teacher Chen!" Lin Cha added.
Everyone followed Lin Cha's gaze and saw that Chen Xianzhi had become Lu Shiqing's exclusive butler, and was now obediently pouring tea for Lu Shiqing.
"I wonder who can control such a big boss..."
As soon as he finished speaking, a joyful voice came from the door, and a young man who looked 70% similar to Lu Shiqing came into the yard.
"Mom! I've already cleaned up the room! I just heard from Dad that a famous Chinese medicine doctor has come to the village. He's a first-rate doctor. Should we go see him this afternoon?"
The young boy Gu Xiangyang rushed forward like a pug and happily hugged Lu Shiqing's neck.
Lu Shiqing glanced at him and said, "Let go. You're already a grown man, why are you still acting like a child?"
Gu Xiangyang reluctantly let go of his hand.
Behind him, a middle-aged man of about fifty years old walked over. He had an upright posture. Although he was over fifty years old, he was full of energy and seemed to have been exercising for a long time. There was no trace of fat on his body.
"Xiangyang is still a child! Of course he likes to stick to his mother." Gu Jinhui said.
"Eighteen is not young anymore." Lu Shiqing was not particularly gentle towards her son. "Many boys of his age in the company have already started earning money to support their families."
Gu Xiangyang curled his lips, "Hey, Mom, I just turned eighteen. Didn't you promise me that you would come to the show with me and have fun?"
Gu Xiangyang said as he hooked his arm around Lu Yanyan's shoulder, "My cousin told me that their show is so much fun! My eighteenth birthday present is for you and dad to come to the show and play with me. Don't be so stingy!"
Lu Yanyan turned her head abruptly and glared at Gu Xiangyang fiercely, "When did I ever tell you that our production team is fun?!"
Gu Xiangyang blinked his eyes. "Sister, please don't deny it!" He whispered, "Is the show fun? Can't you hear it? Why don't you listen carefully?"
——Gu Xiangyang was arranged by Lu Yanche to be a guest on the show. Lu Yanche also pulled his family into the group of spectators, as they knew Lin Cha's abilities.
Gu Xiangyang deliberately tidied up the room for a few minutes just to eavesdrop on Lin Cha's thoughts.
At this moment, reminded by Gu Xiangyang, Lu Yanyan also pricked up her ears, and heard Lin Cha's voice full of doubts -
[Did Missy and Gu Xiangyang tell you about the fun things that happened on the show?]
How is that possible? Our guests live in the countryside, doing farm work. When they're lucky, a star collapses, and when they're unlucky, they accidentally stumble into a rumor den. Did Gu Xiangyang get shot in the head or his IQ got chewed by a dog? He actually thinks the show crew is funny?
"My eldest aunt seems quite clever, but how could she have given birth to such a clueless son? I should go to Grandma Xia's and buy some walnuts to nourish myself!"
The leisure courtyard suddenly became quiet.
Lu Yanyan looked at Gu Xiangyang dimly.
"You think the program crew is fun, is it just fun to listen to these things? It's actually quite fun!"
Gu Xiangyang: “…”
This was not what Lin Cha was thinking just now!
The guest stars of today's variety show were not originally Lu Shiqing's family. They were added at the last minute and were not in Director Yu's original plan.
Originally, the person actually invited today was Hua Jing, a popular online Chinese medicine doctor. Director Yu specially invited Hua Jing to the program team, not only to diagnose the villagers of Qingchuan Village, but also to let the guests follow him to identify Chinese medicinal herbs.
At this moment, Lu Shiqing's family has packed up. As for the internet-famous Chinese medicine doctor, Director Yu said that he had already arrived and was providing free medical treatment to the villagers on the dam at the bridgehead.
The task of today's guests is to assist Huajing's free medical consultation.
When the guests arrived at Qiaotou Dam, the place was already crowded with people.
Dr. Hua was diagnosing a villager, and for the sake of privacy, the other waiting villagers kept a distance from Hua Jing. Everyone stood on tiptoe, hoping that they would be the next one.
"I've seen Hua Jing on TikTok. I heard he's a descendant of Hua Tuo, specializing in treating difficult and complicated diseases, and has cured many people!"
"I've seen Dr. Hua Jing before! Even Western medicine couldn't cure an illness, but I took two doses and it was cured! Dr. Hua Jing is truly amazing!"
"Great! This disease has been bothering me for years, and finally there's a cure! I didn't know when it would be my turn~"
The villagers were looking forward to Hua Jing's diagnosis. The guests were also very curious about Chinese medicine and walked towards Hua Jing with great interest.
But before he could reach Hua Jing, he was stopped by Hua Jing's assistant, "Excuse me, when Divine Doctor Hua is diagnosing, no one else is allowed to get close."
"We're guests on the show, so why can't we get closer?" Jiang Mingkai asked, "Didn't Director Yu ask us to assist Dr. Hua?"
"Just assisting, no need to get so close." The assistant's expression was indifferent. "Our Divine Doctor Hua is the reincarnation of Hua Tuo, and his skills are superb. Lately, many of our colleagues have come to learn from him. How can we know if you're here to learn from them? So it's best to keep a distance!"
The guests curled their lips.
This is the truth, but it is very unpleasant to hear it from the assistant's mouth!
Helplessly, the guests could only sit at the long table nearby. The assistant was very good at giving orders. Knowing that they were there to help, he brought all the herbs and asked the guests to grind them nearby.
“I thought I could observe a miracle doctor!”
"Looks like we still have to work!"
The guests ground their medicines honestly.
At this time, a patient finished his diagnosis and bowed to Hua Jing to express his gratitude.
The assistant came out with a bucket of lots, "Next patient, come up and draw your lot!"
"Drawing lots?" Lu Yanyan was curious. "Isn't this a free clinic? Why is there a drawing of lots?"
Assistant: "Of course there are too many patients. Even Dr. Hua can't see them all, so we have to draw lots. Whoever wins the lottery gets to see the patient. It's fate!"
The old man who was first in line hunched his back and stepped forward tremblingly, "Please bless me, I must be picked!"
He pulled it out suddenly, and it was a long stick, which meant that he was not selected.
The old man sighed deeply and could only turn around and leave.
"Next!" the assistant said again.
The remaining villagers came forward and drew lots, but none of them won.
Finally, a man with an extremely pale face and no blood came up and pulled, and he was hit.
"Great! My cancer can be cured!"
The man stepped forward excitedly and asked Hua Jing to take his pulse.
The guests looked up and were surprised to see that although Dr. Hua was in his early thirties, he looked extremely sage with his silver beard and Chinese medicine robe.
He felt the man's pulse and pondered for a moment, "Is this... cancer? Or lung cancer?"
"Yes!" the man's eyes sparkled. "I went through so many tests at the hospital before I diagnosed it, and you found it out just by feeling it!"
"This is the magic of Chinese medicine!" Hua Jing stroked his beard. "It's just cancer, not a serious illness. I'll give you a few acupuncture needles, and you can take a few doses of medicine according to my prescription. It will definitely cure you!"
The guests stared with wide eyes.
Are you kidding me? This is cancer! Cancer!
But Hua Jing was giving acupuncture to the man. After a few injections, the man's pale cheeks actually turned red!
"Miracle doctor! You are so amazing! You are my second parent, you are my benefactor!"
Ah, this...
The guests were stunned.
"Is this possible?" Liu Mingqian found it hard to imagine.
Gu Jinhui said, "Traditional Chinese Medicine is indeed profound and extensive. Doctor Hua Jing is even a descendant of Hua Tuo! Maybe we just don't understand it!"
At this time, the man with lung cancer got his medicine and left, and a new patient came in.
The man looked embarrassed and whispered, "Doctor, I don't have any serious illness, I just have a minor problem. Can you prescribe me some medicine to help me last longer?"
Hua Jing paused, then smiled, "Of course it's no problem. After taking my medicine, not to mention lasting longer, even seven times a night is no problem!"
The male guest's eyes lit up when he heard this.
What a miracle medicine this is!
It seems that Dr. Hua Jing is really capable!
The next second, I heard Lin Cha's deep inner voice——
"What do you mean seven times a night is okay? Isn't Dr. Hua himself impotent? How can he still treat men's health?"
[It's okay if you're not able to get an erection, it's too early to take the medicine. But what about ejaculation? You can't even cure your own illness, and yet you call yourself a miracle doctor and treat others? Are there any idiots who believe you? Are you sure?]
Male guest at the scene: “…”
They didn't believe it, they were just expressing surprise!
When Hua Jing heard Lin Cha's thoughts, his face changed drastically and his eyes widened like copper bells.
Who! Who is slandering him!
Lin Cha was seen grinding the medicine obediently, completely unaware of the murderous gaze staring at him.
Hua Jing's face darkened.
He was a guest invited by Director Yu. He did not join the group of spectators and did not greet the guests just now, so he did not know Lin Cha's abilities.
At this moment, he was stroking his silver beard, thinking to himself, did he hear something just now?
The little girl clearly didn't open her mouth, but she still made a sound, right?
Could it be that he is really hallucinating because of his old age?
No no no!
Hua Jing comforted himself in his heart, it’s a different era now, we should believe in science!
He must be hallucinating!
That little girl is not a god, how could she know such private things about him?
Not only is it impotent, it's actually 0! After all, I don't need that thing, so it doesn't really matter.
[But shouldn't Dr. Hua treat his anal fissure? I saw on the system that it hurts every time he has sex! Sometimes it even bleeds!]
Hua Jing:!!!
All guests:!!!
So exciting!
It’s such a big melon right away!
The guests looked at Hua Jing quietly, only to see him shift his butt uncomfortably... and sit upright.
The guests' anus tightened subconsciously.
Tsk tsk, it’s really not easy for these gay men!
Hua Jing's face flushed.
What kind of person is this little girl? How does she know all these things about him?
But fortunately, it seems that he is the only one who can hear her inner voice, so it doesn't matter -
Then, Hua Jing saw a group of guests looking at him with a half-smile...
Mmmm! Is it too late to dig a hole and crawl in now?
Grinding medicine was too boring, but Lin Cha did not stop looking at the melons. He was even more happy to flip through Hua Jing's melons.
[By the way, this Dr. Hua used to have a wife, so how come her marriage suddenly became zero?]
[Is it a gay marriage scam? ]
[Oh, that's not right. He was normal before. It turns out he took some problematic health supplements, which is why he started having erectile dysfunction!]
[These unscrupulous health supplement manufacturers! We must shut them all down when we get the chance!]
Zhou Zexu complained as he ground the medicine, "My neighbor's elderly family also bought a lot of health supplements, spending tens of thousands of dollars, and in the end, they only got some vitamin pills."
"Vitamin tablets are okay," Liu Mingqian said. "They're not bad for your health. But if you buy those health supplements from Dr. Hua, not only will they be useless, but it would be terrible if I still can't get an erection."
"I don't know what brand of health supplements Dr. Hua bought," Jiang Mingkai joined the conversation. "I'll ask him when I get a chance so I can avoid any potential pitfalls in the future!"
Health supplements are not important, but the problem of impotence can cause great harm to men!
"The health supplements Dr. Hua takes...could this be them?"
Lu Yanyan's faint voice came from the side. Everyone looked in the direction of the voice and saw Lu Yanyan pointing at the middle of the long table, where there were more than a dozen bottles of health supplements.
There is a photo of Hua Jing on the outer packaging of the medicine.
——The spokesperson for this health product is Huajing, and the boss behind the scenes is also Huajing.
Guests: “…”
Ah, this...
It’s bad enough that health supplements can prevent erectile dysfunction, but it’s also bad enough that health supplements produced by one’s own company can prevent erectile dysfunction. What on earth is going on?
Seeing this, Gu Jinhui's face suddenly turned pale, and he suddenly felt like retching, wishing he could spit out all the pills he had taken in the morning.
Lu Shiqing noticed this and glanced at Gu Jinhui with disdain, "You haven't eaten this before, have you?"
Gu Jinhui was shocked and said awkwardly, "How is that possible! I'm in good health and don't need to eat this!"
Lu Shiqing sneered, "That would be the best!"
Gu Jinhui kept smiling and said that he worked out regularly and didn't need medication. Lu Shiqing didn't respond and turned to chat with Lu Yanyan again.
As soon as her eyes moved away, Gu Jinhui immediately took out his cell phone and made an appointment with his private doctor for a physical examination at the weekend.
Not only are the health supplements useless, but they also cause erectile dysfunction... what will happen to his masculinity then!
On the guest side, Gu Jinhui's face was pale.
On the other side, Hua Jing's condition was not much better. He noticed the teasing looks from the guests and broke out in a cold sweat.
How could there be something wrong with his supplements? He's been taking them all along... If he's having erectile dysfunction, there must be something else going on! It definitely is!
At this time, the assistant brought a new patient over. Hua Jing was a little absent-minded, with his ears perked up, listening attentively to Lin Cha's thoughts -
[I'd better remind Dr. Hua if I get a chance. This kind of problematic health supplement, impotence is a minor issue, but in serious cases, it can be fatal!]
"Someone will die?!" Hua Jing was shocked.
The pale-faced patient in front of him was also horrified. "Doctor, what are you talking about? I, I will die if I take your medicine?"
——Just now, the assistant was giving medicine to the patient, and the patient happened to ask what the side effects of taking the medicine would be.
Hua Jing quickly apologized, but he was a little confused and couldn't remember the patient's condition for a moment. Fortunately, his assistant prepared a small card for him with the answer script on it. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it was a slip of the tongue. You just have cancer. It won't kill you if you eat it..."
The patient's face turned even paler when he heard this.
"I, I actually have cancer?!"
Hua Jing panicked, the cards in his hand tumbling into a mess. "Is that blood in the stool? Alzheimer's? Stroke? High blood pressure?"
The patient's face turned pale and he almost couldn't stand.
Several villagers around were whispering.
"Didn't Old Wang just catch a cold? How come he was diagnosed with cancer?"
"And blood in the stool, Alzheimer's, and stroke?"
"Isn't this a quack? What's going on?"
[Because the sign in front of Dr. Hua got messed up by the wind! He can't tell his patients apart from his own patients!]
Lin Cha gloated over the misfortune. [Sucks, sucks! Who would have thought that half of these people were actually Dr. Hua's agents? He's really trying hard to maintain his image as a miracle doctor!]
[However, they couldn't all be shills, so some patients with typhoid fever and colds were also admitted. As a result, there was confusion!]
Hua Jing has always had good psychological quality.
Otherwise, he wouldn't start a live broadcast to cheat people just because he had read a few novels about miracle doctors.
But this was the first time he was exposed, which made Hua Jing more and more anxious.
The guests sneered:
"What kind of doctor is this? What kind of people did Director Yu hire?"
"That's so unreliable! He probably just came to our show to establish his persona!"
"Then why was he giving us such a cold shoulder just now? Why would such a rubbish doctor come to our production team?!"
——Only doctors like Qian Xici and Dr. Wang who truly care about their patients should be on the show!
"What nonsense are you talking about!" The assistant was very unhappy after hearing the guests' discussion. "My master is a miracle doctor! How dare you slander him behind his back!"
Liu Mingqian: "Can't the miracle doctor tell if it's typhoid or cancer?"
Lu Yanyan: "How could a miracle doctor mistakenly remember a patient?"
The assistant was furious. "Everyone makes mistakes. Don't just frame my master!"
Hua Jing took a deep breath and adjusted his mindset in time. "Xiao Zhao, don't be like this. We are all guests. Harmony is the most important thing. I know that no one believes in Chinese medicine, but Chinese medicine has been passed down for thousands of years and is profound and extensive. It is normal for most people not to understand it."
Assistant: "Yes! Just a bunch of ignorant kids! They are slandering my master!"
Lu Yanyan sneered, "We are ignorant, but we won't make the mistake of diagnosing the patient!"
"We won't eat ourselves to the point of becoming impotent..." Jiang Mingkai suppressed his laughter.
The assistant became even angrier. "All you can do is make sarcastic remarks. If you can do it, then go for it! Do you have what it takes?"
The assistant pointed casually and found Lin Cha.
——After all, this girl looks the quietest and is obviously the easiest to bully.
Lin Cha pointed at himself, "Me? Are you serious?"
The assistant was proud, "You're scared now that it's your turn! Let me tell you, seeing a doctor is not that easy!"
"I do know what your master's illness is..." Lin Cha said, "but do you want me to say it in public?"
The assistant sneered, "Do you really think you can cure diseases? Well, then tell me, what's wrong with my master? My master is in great health, he wouldn't have any symptoms!"
Hua Jing's eyes widened, and he wanted to rush forward and tear his assistant's mouth apart, but before he could stop the assistant, he heard Lin Cha's crisp voice, "Your master is impotent!"
assistant:? ? ?
Villager: ???
The guests already knew about this and remained calm, but the assistant and the villagers were not calm at all.
"Doctor Hua is actually impotent?"
"But I saw he just prescribed some medicine for the patient!"
"Could it be that he found a shill?"
"You, what nonsense are you talking about!" Hua Jing was quite desperate, his face flushed red again, "You didn't even take my pulse, how could you possibly know what's wrong with me!"
"Ah..." Lin Cha's eyes rolled. "Your bag is full of little blue pills. Doesn't that prove it?"
As soon as he finished speaking, a villager came forward and opened Hua Jing's bag, and sure enough, it was full of small blue aphrodisiac pills!
The villagers were confused.
The assistant was also confused.
Hua Jing argued, "I bought this to study the differences between Western and Eastern medicine! I'm not taking it myself! Have you ever seen me eat it?"
“That’s not the case…”
Lin Cha stroked his chin and thought, "But there's no way to prove this except with Western medicine!"
[Do I want him to get hard right then and there? I can't do that!]
Hua Jing's face turned even greener. "How disgraceful! How disgraceful!"
[I need to think of a symptom that can be proven on the spot...]
Lin Cha was a little confused.
But in fact, any disease requires another doctor to prove its authenticity, otherwise it is useless.
unless--
"Oh! I see! One of your breasts is larger! It can be proven! Just touch it!"
Everyone looked at Hua Jing.
Hua Jing: "What nonsense are you talking about! And, and what does this have to do with the disease!"
Lin Cha hesitated for a moment, not knowing how to express it——
How come it doesn't matter?
[That's the aftereffect of a kitten bite you got when you were little, and you refused to go to the hospital for treatment even though the bite got bigger!]
Then you noticed Mimi's head had gotten bigger, and you thought cats could do that, so you grabbed the cat again, wanting it to bite your brother. But the cat got angry, scratched your chest, and ran away, leaving you in the hospital!
[The scars on your chest from the cat's claws still hurt, don't they?]
Guests: ???
What what what?
Let the cat bite your brother?
What did the cat do wrong to be treated like this!!!
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