Chapter 15 Flashback
[Flashback: The sense of déjà vu that occasionally appears in daily life. 】
After entering elementary school, Meng Chu once thought that his situation had taken a turn for the better.
According to his observation, there is no parent who does not like to show off their children's intelligence and good grades.
Even Meng Changqing, who always had a sad expression on his face, would smile when he heard teachers and colleagues praising Meng Chu and saying that his family had given him a good education.
Meng Chu felt relieved. Finally, he had an irreplaceable value in this family.
However, this sense of security disappeared the moment Meng Jining went to higher education.
Meng Jining's grades are also very good.
Meng Chu really hated God sometimes. Meng Jining already had everything, so couldn't even this little advantage be shared with him?
In fact, Meng Jining has an advantage that he can't even dream of.
When praising Meng Jining, if someone says, "You must have inherited this smartness from your father!"
Meng Changqing would smile and take out the cigarette he was reluctant to smoke from his trouser pocket, inviting the other party to smoke.
But when the same words were said to Meng Chu, all he got was a smile and a "No, no".
This was his end. He was no match for his brother in the area in which he was best.
As Meng Jining grew older, his grades showed no sign of decline, and Meng Chu's anxiety grew day by day.
He thought about it again and again, and finally concluded that the only thing that made him better than Meng Jining was that he was sensible.
Perhaps, when parents discover that this child is more considerate, filial, and caring than their own children, they will love him more.
So he began to carry out this task seriously.
He never adds unnecessary expenses to his family. Even when the school organized spring and autumn outings, he would ask for leave because he had to pay 150 yuan.
He always keeps the house clean and tidy and never needs his parents' help to tidy up.
When his mother was sick, he would go to accompany her after school and buy her fruits and hot water.
After all these efforts, he thought, everything should change.
Unfortunately, things in the world often don't go as he wishes.
Meng Jining went on both spring and autumn outings and took many beautiful photos, which made her parents very happy.
Meng Jining often loses things. His parents would complain and scold him, but they would still spend money to buy him new things.
Meng Jining cried for a long time after his mother died, and his face became thinner. All relatives said that this child was very filial.
When he was young, Meng Chu didn’t understand why he worked so hard but could never compare to his younger brother.
This is true not only at home but also at school.
As soon as he entered primary school, Meng Jining ran for class committee member. Because he was popular, he became class monitor in the first semester.
Because of his good looks, when he was promoted to the second grade, his teacher chose him to be the host of the art performance. Whenever Meng Jining wore brand new clothes and stood on the stage, she would say loudly and generously: "Dear teachers and students, the show is now officially starting!"
Meng Chu felt that there was nothing in the world that his younger brother could not do.
Everyone likes Meng Jining very much, except Meng Chu.
He felt that it was enough to see Meng Jining taking center stage at home. Even at school, he had to hear and see him from time to time, which was too cruel.
Unfortunately, although Meng Jining was three years younger than him, he started school a year earlier, and they had to spend another year in the same junior high school and the same high school.
It's so annoying.
When he was in the third year of junior high school and the third year of high school, he could see Meng Jining and hear his name at various school-level activities.
From time to time, I receive invitations that I don’t want to go.
One weekend evening, Meng Jining was talking excitedly about an English speech contest. He is only a freshman in high school and has already made it to the school finals. This is not easy considering that they are a provincial key school with many top players.
"Brother," Meng Jining said, and suddenly turned to him, "Can you come and cheer for me in the finals next week?"
Meng Chu swallowed the food in his mouth, was silent for a moment, and said, "I probably don't have time to go."
"Isn't next week a big weekend?"
“The teacher will assign a lot of papers.”
Meng Jining pursed her lips, looking very disappointed. Ordinary people would inevitably be artificial when doing this action, but he does it in an endearing way.
"Come on, come on," Meng Jining said with an expectant look, "I also cheered for my brother at the last sports meet."
Meng Chu lowered his head. He was used to using this action to hide his unhappy emotions.
He was not good at sports, but because he was in his third year of high school, no one wanted to participate in the sports meet and no one was willing to sign up, so the class teacher picked up a strong man and asked him to sign up for the relay race. When he was handing over the class, he dropped the baton, causing the class to be at the bottom.
He said at the beginning that he didn't need Meng Jining to cheer him on, but Meng Jining insisted on coming over to witness him making a fool of himself, and also used this as an excuse to make him spend half a day on the bus to go to the Cultural Palace during his few holidays, and then spend most of the day watching a hundred students give English speeches.
He is in his third year of high school, so he really doesn't have that much free time.
Meng Changqing put down his chopsticks and began to interfere: "Meng Chu, your brother is participating in such an important event, you should go and support him."
"But……"
"Other students have their families and friends to cheer them on," Meng Jining said pitifully, "Dad has to go on a business trip again, so you should go with me."
"Meng Chu," Meng Changqing said, "you are the older brother, so just take care of your younger brother."
He has heard this sentence countless times since he was a child. Every time he heard it, he would tell himself in his heart: I am the older brother, I must love him because he is my younger brother.
In fact, this was the nth time he had made up his mind, but he was still not sure if he could do it - keep his promise, continue to love his brother, and no longer feel unhappy about his father's favoritism.
He finally said, "Okay."
Meng Jining smiled with beautiful dimples.
So he sat in the auditorium of the Cultural Palace and watched Meng Jining walk onto the stage. Meng Jining's accent is not very authentic, but his confidence, enthusiasm, and passion make people listen carefully. The judges in the first row sat up straight and nodded frequently as the speeches progressed.
Meng Chu looked at his brother. His English is not bad, but he doesn't have the courage to stand on the stage.
"Meng Chu?"
He turned his head and saw a boy looking at him from across an empty seat.
Meng Chu recognized that this was a classmate named Wei Qian, who sat in the last row. Because they were a little distance apart, this was their first conversation even though they had been in the same class for almost three years.
"You're coming to the finals as well?" Wei Qian asked, "Hey, I don't think I saw you in the preliminary rounds?"
Meng Chu pointed to the stage and said, "I am here with my brother."
Wei Qian nodded, and after a while, he suddenly smiled. "Is this the first time you've spoken to me?" he said. "It feels like you've been very quiet."
Meng Chu didn't know how to respond. He is very distant from everyone, and even if someone really approaches him one day, he has no topic to talk about. He has never watched the popular movies or TV series; he doesn't know any sports stars; he doesn't pay attention to pop culture; he doesn't even listen to music.
He was a solitary man who was used to keeping himself hidden, which did not offend others or break any laws.
Besides, no one actually looked for him.
Before the silence turned into awkwardness, the host called Wei Qian's number.
"It's my turn now," Wei Qian stood up, "We'll talk later."
Meng Chu nodded: "Come on."
Although he only said two sentences, he was still very grateful to Wei Qian. He is grateful to anyone who is willing to communicate with him.
Meng Chu only regarded the word "later" as a polite remark. However, Wei Qian seems to be a man of his words.
After returning to school, if the two met during breaks, before evening self-study, or downstairs of the dormitory, Wei Qian would definitely come over and chat with Meng Chu for a while. Sometimes they ask a question, sometimes they ask what they did during the holidays, and sometimes they complain about the school and the teachers.
One day, Meng Chu walked past the classroom window and overheard two girls in the class gossiping: "Does Wei Qian like Meng Chu?"
He subconsciously moved away to avoid being discovered by the other party and causing an awkward situation.
He walked quickly, the words echoing in his mind, bringing back all the memories between him and Wei Qian.
He retraced their conversation sentence by sentence, trying to unearth the ambiguity and hints in it.
Does Wei Qian really like him? If you don't like him, why talk to him for no reason? Wei Qian has no shortage of friends.
If he likes it... will someone like him?
This realization overwhelmed all his emotions, and made him feel joy from the bottom of his heart.
Starting from junior high school, or even elementary school, gossip can be heard from every corner of the campus. Who likes who, who is pursuing who, who is in love with who.
Adolescent hormones are surging in the confined space. The boys and girls have affectionate eyes. In the woods beside the playground, in the corners hidden by the night, in the corridors, and on the rooftops, they break free from the pursuit of their parents and teachers and start a period of ignorant and sweet memories of youth.
He had never been in these scenes, and he thought he would never become the protagonist of a story.
Not like Meng Jining.
Before they lived in the school dormitory, when the two of them came home from school, Meng Chu often saw him taking out various love letters when he was packing his schoolbag, and then sighing in frustration.
"Well," he said, "how can I refuse without making people sad?"
Meng Chu didn't understand how it felt to be troubled by too many people liking him. If he received a letter, he would definitely open it and read it countless times every day until the paper fell off.
He envied the protagonists of those scandals, even though they were called to the police station as parents, publicly criticized, and worried all day because of their emotional disputes.
As long as someone likes you, these are just little flaws in happiness.
Now, he also has such an opportunity.
Ever since he realized that Wei Qian might like him, every time he entered the classroom, he would unconsciously look towards the last row. When he heard the teacher calling Wei Qian's name, he would sit up straight and listen carefully to the other person's answer. During the physical education class, he could see Wei Qian at a glance among a group of boys chasing for the ball.
If Wei Qian confessed to him, he would definitely agree. Although he didn't know whether he liked Wei Qian or not.
Finally, before a big weekend in November, Wei Qian invited him: "Do you want to go skiing?"
Meng Chu looked up in surprise.
"My dad has a ski resort ticket," Wei Qian said, "How about I treat you?"
He was a little embarrassed: "I can't ski."
"It's okay. Skiing is very simple. You will be able to do it after trying it a few times," Wei Qian said. "There are all kinds of equipment there. You don't need to bring anything. You just need to show up."
The first time he was invited, it was to the most embarrassing sports venue, but Meng Chu immediately agreed: "Okay."
The night before the date, he was so excited that he couldn't sleep all night, and the next day he rushed to catch the bus with dark circles under his eyes.
When he arrived at the entrance of the ski resort, he saw Wei Qian holding the ski in one hand and waving at him.
He looked at Wei Qian. Ever since he knew that the other party might like him, the more he looked at him, the more he found Wei Qian attractive.
They stood in front of the ski resort, but Wei Qian didn't seem to be in a hurry to go in. From the beginning of the meeting, he kept looking at his watch, his face full of anxiety.
"Which area are we going to skate?" Meng Chu asked.
"Wait a little longer," he said, "maybe...ah, here he comes."
Meng Chu turned around and saw Meng Jining coming over.
The other person had his hands in his pockets and his hair was messy in the wind, but it was messy in a beautiful way. Facts have proved that as long as you look good, even the wind will favor you.
"Thank you so much," Wei Qian said, "Jining didn't want to come out with me alone, so he asked who else was there. I told him you were there too."
Meng Chu looked at Meng Jining waving at him, and his smile was dazzling in the sunlight.
He bit his lip, and after a moment, he lowered his head: "You can tell me directly."
He could have said it directly from the first time Wei Qian greeted him.
I like your brother, can you help me ask him out?
This is not the first person who has approached him because of Meng Jining. Since junior high school, he has been given flowers and love letters by many of Meng Jining's suitors, asking him to pass them on to Meng Jining.
Wei Qian noticed his emotions and hurriedly explained: "I didn't say it because I was afraid you would get suspicious. I really want to be friends with you, not just because of your brother."
"Then why did you invite me?" Meng Chu said, "Won't I be a hindrance to you?"
"Jining didn't say he would definitely come," Wei Qian said, "If he doesn't come, we can still have fun together, just like friends hanging out together."
Meng Chu looked at the ski boots under his feet and clearly felt its weight.
Wei Qian had already gone to pick out equipment for Meng Jining. Meng Chu stood at the door, wrapped in an ill-fitting ski suit, feeling bloated and stupid.
He should have turned around and left, but he had never skied before. This place looks expensive, he would never come here himself.
He looked at the top of the slope, where there were athletes spinning and leaping down from the diving platform. They looked very cool. He could only see such scenes on TV.
After much hesitation, he decided to stay.
At this time, Meng Jining was also dressed.
Wei Qian seemed to have made an appointment with Meng Jining to go skiing alone. Before the two set off, Wei Qian rushed over to Meng Chu and said, "Jining has never skated before, so I'll go teach him. How about you sit in the restaurant for a while? Buy whatever you want to eat, and I'll pay for it later."
"No need," Meng Chu said, "I'll try skating for a while."
But he never learned it.
Skiing seemed to be incompatible with his destiny. He could never keep his balance and would fall down after just a few meters.
The ski boots are fixed to the skis, so it is difficult to stand up if you slip. He fumbled with the buckle that attached his boot to his skis, but the buckle was finicky and difficult to open each time.
He fell down, struggled to stand up, and fell down again.
Once, when he fell on the snow, gasping for breath due to excessive exercise, he suddenly saw a red figure above him.
The figure slid the ski poles flexibly, then turned, stopped, smiled and raised his hands in a victory gesture.
He recognized it as Meng Jining. It was my first time skiing and I was able to go to the intermediate ski slope.
He was at the bottom of the slope, watching Meng Jining exhaling mist in the cold wind. He skillfully took off his skis, walked to the cable car, and returned to the top of the ski slope once again.
At that moment, Meng Chu felt that there was nothing in the world that his younger brother could not do.
That weekend shattered all his beautiful imaginations of love.
Wei Qian's roundabout approach did not seem to be effective.
Meng Jining rejected him.
On Monday, Meng Chu saw Wei Qian in the classroom again. The other party did not talk to him, but just walked past him, sat down in his seat, and played with the boys around him as usual.
Everything is back to the way it was before the speech contest.
He no longer had a rumored crush or a friend to grumble to.
He lowered his head. In front of him was a copy of Norwegian Wood, which he had borrowed from the library. His fingers slid across the pages. An unknown borrower had written a sentence on it with a pencil: "Sometimes, the very existence of a person can hurt another person."
Yes, but so what?
Meng Chu turned his head and looked at the boy opposite him.
He should have expected all this.
He was never the chosen one.
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