Chapter 15. Fish has a magical little pocket.
Yan Xingli was like a child who had received a new toy, so excited that his cheeks were flushed, and he chatted back and forth with Little Barbie's father.
The trolls who were just jumping around in the live stream have all fallen silent.
Are there any French majors here? What score would you give Yan Xingli for her spoken French?
[I'm not an expert, just a third-year French major at University A offering my opinion. I can't hear a single problem with his grammar, pronunciation, or rhythm. I'd believe you if you told me he was a native Frenchman.]
[Urgent! Can someone please translate what they're saying in gibberish?]
Yan Xingli is not a talkative person; he is usually very sparing with words when talking to strangers. But for him now, the Barbie dad standing in front of him is not a stranger.
That was someone who helped him test his new toys.
Yan Xingli became more and more animated as they talked, saying many things without thinking. After his excited brain cooled down, he found two foreigners, one big and one small, in his WeChat contact list.
Hmm, what did he just talk about?
Yan Xingli lowered his head, looking bewildered as he reviewed the situation.
A small hand tugged at his trouser leg, pulling him forward. Qi Youyu urged, "Uncle, we need to hurry, let's go!"
"What's wrong? Where are you going?"
"Let's pick out a gift for Sister Xiaofu."
Yan Xingli: "Why did you have to pick out a gift out of the blue?"
The child turned to look at him, a hint of disapproval on his fair face, his tone sounding rather helpless.
"We're going to Xiao Fu's birthday party the day after tomorrow. It would be impolite to go empty-handed, Uncle."
Is that true?
Yan Xingli scratched his face, trying hard to recall the conversation that had just taken place.
My phone vibrated slightly, indicating that I had received a WeChat message.
When the banquet ended, Barbie's dad sent an electronic invitation.
The time is 10:00 AM the day after tomorrow, and the location is a villa area in City S.
Yan Xingli raised his hand to rub his temples and sighed. It seemed he had gotten too excited and impulsively accepted the stranger's invitation.
"Let's go then."
Yu Yu had taken it to heart, and he couldn't back out.
Yan Xingli had no experience in choosing birthday gifts for young girls, so he comfortably handed the matter over to Qi Youyu.
The grandmother and grandson wandered around the mall, starving, but still couldn't find a satisfactory gift.
The child sat on a bench in the mall, his tuft of hair stopped swaying, and he looked utterly worried.
Yan Xingli rubbed his old arms and legs and turned his cracking neck.
"I think that Barbie princess outfit is really nice; little girls all like it. Why don't we get it for her?"
"no."
“That doll can’t move, can’t talk, and can’t dance.” Qi Youyu shook her head. “It’s not a fun gift, I can’t give it to you.”
Yan Xingli really didn't want to shop all day again tomorrow. He gritted his teeth and said, "How about I give you a crown? The Elsa Princess Crown that all you young girls like."
He secretly checked, and even the cheapest ones cost several thousand.
This suggestion seemed to be exactly what Yu Yu wanted to hear. She propped her head up with a "biu" sound and stared at him with her starry eyes.
"Uncle, what kind of genius are you?"
The child pulled a piece of candy from his pocket: "Here's a reward for you, don't be shy."
"..." Yan Xingli's lips twitched. "No need, I can buy it myself."
"Okay, fine."
The child jumped off the bench, stood up straight with his short legs spread apart, and was full of enthusiasm: "I've got it! I'm going to give Sister Xiaofu a queen's cloak."
Since we have some leftover scrap, we shouldn't waste anything; we should make the most of everything.
Making hand-woven capes has been added to Yu Yu's schedule.
The Queen's Cloak—the name itself sounds like a child's garment. Yan Xingli jokingly asked, "You also have tailoring skills?"
Qi Youyu boasted, "Because I'm a little scientist, I'm super awesome."
Yan Xingli didn't reply, and the smile on his lips gradually faded.
The shock he received from that bracelet made him realize the true value of the title "little scientist".
After the initial euphoria, all that remains is regret for bringing Yu Yu onto the variety show.
Yan Xingli's mood gradually grew heavy.
If one day she accidentally showcases some incredible cutting-edge technology during a live stream, attracting the attention of relevant departments, then things will be terrible.
Yu Yu's identity is unknown. She is a child who suddenly appeared on Earth. She has no household registration, no birth certificate, and no direct blood relatives.
A complete idiot, a child without a registered address or family.
Once Yan Xingli gets caught up in negative emotions, it's hard for him to get out. He conjures up all sorts of terrifying and tear-jerking scenes in his mind, scaring himself so much that he breaks out in a cold sweat.
He couldn't delay any longer; he had to help Yu Yu register her household as soon as possible.
With a heavy heart, Yan Xingli silently drove back to the residential area, only to realize as he was about to enter that he had forgotten his access card.
"Uncle, can't we get in?"
"Wait a moment."
Yan Xingli looked down and rummaged through his bag. The child had already walked to the security booth and said to the imposing and tall security guard:
"Uncle, please help open the door for Yu Yu so she can go home."
The security guard was going to let them through anyway; everyone in the community knows each other, and they're basically all recognized by facial recognition.
"Thank you, Uncle." Yu Yu took a small bread roll out of her pocket and handed it to the security guard. "Bye-bye."
[How much food does Fishy have in her little pocket? It feels like she could pull out a snack anytime, anywhere, hahaha!]
When Yu Yu was taking out snacks, her uncle was also stunned for a moment; his expression was hilarious!
The next second, Yan Xingli lived up to expectations and asked the question that had been on the minds of many netizens.
"How much food did you stuff in that little pocket?"
The usually generous child waved his hand this time: "This is a little secret, I won't tell you."
When the grandmother and granddaughter returned home, Xiaohua had already prepared dinner. Yuyu was so captivated by the aroma of the sumptuous meal that she started munching on the food as soon as she sat down at the table, while Yanxingli ate without tasting anything.
[Why does Yan Xingli look so pale? He's been acting strange ever since we came back from the mall.]
Forget about Yu Yu's uncle for now. A whole day has passed, and where's the bot connection? This generation of netizens is hopeless!
Yan Xingli used the time it takes to eat a meal to calm himself down. He glanced at his phone; there was still an hour left in the live stream.
I need to find something to distract myself.
He turned on the TV, randomly picked an anime with original language to watch, and then the expression on his face suddenly froze.
He can understand it; he can understand it without subtitles!
So the bracelet's function isn't limited to just one language?
To verify his guess, he clicked on Korean dramas, American dramas, German dramas, Russian dramas, Portuguese original films, and so on.
Without exception, they all understood!
The overwhelming surprise swept away the gloom hanging over him, and Yan Xingli covered his mouth tightly, afraid that he would laugh out loud.
Is this the blessing of being an ancestor? He's willing to be an ancestor, being an ancestor is great, that's wonderful.
From now on, you won't have to wait for subtitles every day to watch anime; you can just watch the raw version directly—it'll be so much more authentic and enjoyable!
Oh, right, and comics too! I devour raw comics.
From now on, you won't need to practice pronunciation when covering foreign language songs anymore; you can sing and output directly!
Viewers off-screen: [What's he laughing about?]
[His laughter is so eccentric, it's scary.]
Several WeChat messages popped up. Yan Xingli picked them up with a smile. Li Zhi: [Watch your facial expressions.]
[The viewers in the live chat all think you've gone crazy.]
What's making you this happy?
Yan Xingli quickly put away his big teeth and transformed back into a dignified male celebrity: "It's nothing, just some good news at home."
After replying to the message, Yan Xingli put down his phone, went to the kitchen to wash a plate of cherries and strawberries, and sat on the sofa to watch Spider-Man.
He used to prefer watching the Mandarin dubbed versions so he wouldn't have to worry about the subtitles and could focus entirely on the visuals and plot.
This kept Qi Youyu very busy. She was holding a tablet in her arms and had to glance at the TV every now and then.
It's tough being hungry for what you have and always wanting what you need.
Yan Xingli knew she wasn't wearing the language bracelet, and seeing her watching with such interest, he cast a suspicious glance at her:
"Can you understand it?"
Little Flower was translating Fishy's thoughts in her mind in real time: "I understand, don't underestimate me."
The next scene on TV shows the male lead being bitten by a spider.
As if sharing pain, the child covered his neck in fear: "Uncle, I think the older brother inside is a bit unlucky."
Yan Xingli also felt, "This is fate."
"He needs to be bitten to become Spider-Man."
"If it were me, I'd eat the spider," the child thought quickly. "It wouldn't hurt, and I'd become Spider-Man."
Yan Xingli was taken aback.
It turns out this child isn't a kitten, but a leopard cub, eating spiders—how fierce!
"Those fried spiders should be pretty delicious," said Little Leopard's uncle, his hands behind his back. "Just like fried grasshoppers, crispy and crunchy."
The barrage of comments was so intense, I was like, "Holy crap!"
*
The live stream ended amidst the noise and commotion, and now it was time for the grandmother and grandson to enjoy themselves.
Looking at Qi Youyu's carefree smile, Yan Xingli made an important decision.
He wanted to register Yu Yu's household registration and fight for her legal status as a child of Earth.
However, some materials need to be prepared before registering the household registration.
Yan Xingli did not hide his intentions from Yu Yu; he told the child about his plan.
Fish, who was lying on the ground swinging her little feet, blinked, slowly sat up, and pressed the light brain on her wrist.
Snap.
Something fell on the ground.
"Uncle, is this little blue card the ID card you're talking about?" Qi Youyu picked up the thing from the ground and shook it.
Yan Xingli's brain went blank; there wasn't a single Chinese person who wouldn't recognize the things the child was holding.
After a moment, he stammered out, "ID card? How come you have an Earth ID card?"
Yu Yu pointed with her little hand: "Made by Xiao Hua."
Xiaohua: "Yes, I made it."
Yan Xingli: "You actually forged evidence!"
"It's not a fake certificate, it's real." Xiaohua explained in a serious tone, "The backward chip technology and information collection technology of the earth cannot hinder me. I just operated it remotely once and made it."
Is this fat potato looking down on Earth's technology for being too rudimentary?
Yan Xingli covered his forehead, indignantly saying, "Don't think it's that simple. An ID card isn't enough; we also need a birth certificate and a household registration booklet..."
"Is this the red booklet?" Qi Youyu asked.
Yan Xingli's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and he almost blurted out "Holy crap!"
He tremblingly took the household registration booklet and turned to the first page.
Household head: Yan Shanyi.
Rumble rumble—
Yan Xingli was struck dumb, his expression a kaleidoscope of emotions. In utter shock and terror, he roared:
"You, you two, are you out of your minds?!"
Qi Youyu immediately shrank her head and hugged Xiao Huayuan's arm tightly.
"Making fake household registrations is illegal, and you have no idea how ruthless Yan Shanyi is," Yan Xingli threatened. "If she finds out about this, she'll shoot you both, believe me?"
Xiao Hua calmly replied, "Please don't worry, we didn't make a fake household registration book. This is real. I just added Master Yu Yu's information to the household registration book."
Yan Xingli: "...?"
"This is a genuine household registration booklet."
“I borrowed it from the homeowner’s safe.”
Yan Xingli's vision went black, and he could barely stand. He grabbed the wall to keep from falling.
Good heavens, they actually stole the real household registration book, and they're quite proud of it.
Help! How could someone make such a huge mess?
"Whether it's true or not isn't the point. The point is that if the homeowner finds out she has a daughter out of nowhere, she'll go crazy."
This is even more outrageous than making an ID card. How could Yan Shanyi not know whether she has a child or not?
She only needs to take out her household registration book on a whim one day and she'll be exposed on the spot.
Xiaohua: "Please don't worry."
It's like the emperor isn't worried, but the eunuchs are.
Yan Xingli's brain was spinning, and he came up with the wild idea that Xiao Hua possessed a magical memory-erasing technique.
"Even if you can alter human memories, it won't help."
"As long as you get a paternity test, no matter which planet you're from, the biological blood relationship can't possibly reach 99.9%!"
Before he could finish speaking, Qi Youyu found a light piece of paper in her hand.
[S City Forensic Science Center Paternity Test Report]
The props are quite complete.
Five minutes later, Yan Xingli figured it out: Yan Shanyi's safe was the backyard of the two little aliens, and the household registration book locked inside could be accessed and altered at any time.
After a long pause, Yan Xingli asked numbly, "Why did you two choose Yan Shanyi?"
"Because you made me call you uncle."
The child sat up straight: "Mom's younger brother and older brother are called uncles, and Mom's older sister and younger sister are called aunts."
Yan Xingli was speechless.
*
Tonight, Yu Yu asked to sleep with her uncle again, and Yan Xingli surprisingly agreed.
Perhaps influenced by the household registration book, when he looked at Yu Yu again, he actually had the feeling that this child was his own niece.
Yan Xingli had some trouble sleeping that night.
If Yan Shanyi, on the other side of the ocean, knew that she had become a mother and that the child was his tenth-generation descendant, would he fly back wielding a forty-meter-long sword?
well.
Can he save what's on his neck?
Sigh.
Yan Xingli poked the human-shaped pendant on his arm.
Why do you always like to sleep next to me?
"Because my uncle is kind of cute." The little boy sleeping next to him said in a soft, sweet voice.
The uncle blushed as he was praised for being cute. This kid was too good at sweet talk; one word of cuteness was worth a thousand words of praise from others.
Yan Xingli tried hard to suppress his pout and said stiffly, "Then you can't press so close. The heating in the house is very strong, and it's easy to get stuffy and sweaty if you press so close."
The child obediently shifted his bottom and tugged at his clothes, asking softly, "Uncle, if the Little Fish Express is about to be ready, should we take Qianjin and Eleme together?"
"I won't take them. Their home is on Earth, and so is mine."
Yu Yu opened her eyes: "Uncle, aren't you coming with me?"
"Of course I'm not leaving."
“You didn’t say that before.”
"What should I have said before?"
Qi Youyu raised her voice: "You said you'd come with me."
Yan Xingli replied lazily, "I never agreed to that."
"You have!"
"I don't."
The child got angry, turned his back to him, and grumbled loudly, "Uncle is a stinky brat, he doesn't keep his word."
One second my uncle is adorable, the next he's a complete jerk.
Yan Xingli's smile widened even more. He gently patted the child's back and coaxed, "How about your uncle takes you for fried chicken tomorrow, you little brat?"
The child responded very quickly: "Okay."
After a while, Yan Xingli was getting drowsy when Qi Youyu suddenly spoke up again: "Uncle, can I ask you a question?"
"You're still awake?"
"Go to sleep now."
"Then ask with your eyes closed."
"I've closed my eyes."
"Ask away."
There was a rustling sound beside him. In the darkness, the child's eyes were tightly closed, and his hands cupped his face.
"Uncle, when I go home and burn paper money for you, will you show up?"
Banquet Star Ceremony: ...
"Probably not."
Qi Youyu: "Then how will you accept the paper money I burn for you?"
"Don't worry about the loan for burning paper money yet. The biggest problem right now is that I'm still alive. I'm not dead yet." Yan Xingli was speechless. "How would I, a living person, know what happens after I die?"
"Okay, okay."
Yan Xingli: "Can we go to sleep now?"
"Goodnight, Uncle." Qi Youyu's chubby little hand fumbled for a couple of seconds before tenderly closing his eyelids.
"..."
!!
You can't close your eyes like that!
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