Chapter 16. Uncle, please go home on the highway.
With Qi Youyu's identity as an Earth child resolved, the heavy weight hanging over Yan Xingli's heart not only didn't lift, but actually rose even higher.
As a law-abiding citizen, he would occasionally have images of two little aliens having sex in his mind.
Yan Xingli felt bewildered and guilty, as if he had been unwittingly thrown onto a pirate ship and had nowhere to turn for help.
The uncle, who was lying face down doing a plank, frowned and glanced at a certain child with a complicated look in his eyes.
Beside the expansive floor-to-ceiling window, Qi Youyu sat on a small stool, combing her daughter's hair with a small comb.
The chubby, moldy little bun raised its head, resting its chin on the child's soft hand, comfortably enjoying a sunbath and grooming.
Glug glug.
The kitten tractor is starting up.
Look at that smug little face, it's enough to make your teeth ache.
Why can a kitten not go to work?!
[My dear daughter, make room for your older sister, she needs to lie down too.]
"Uncle, why are you peeking at me?" The child seemed to have eyes on the top of his head, looking up and meeting his uncle's gaze.
Yan Xingli simply lay down, facing the ceiling with his four feet in the air.
"Oh, I've never seen such a big cockroach before. Just taking a look."
The child dressed as a cockroach behind him shook his head, and two cockroach antennae longer than chopsticks on his head twitched.
After the two sides confronted each other yesterday, it was as if the tight headband of Sun Wukong had been removed, and the two little aliens no longer avoided him.
I don't know what I was looking at online all night, but the delivery guy brought me a cockroach cosplay outfit early this morning.
Once Qi Youyu put it on, she didn't want to take it off.
The little flower, which always exuded a subtle human-machine aura, went crazy, waving its antennae and squealing wildly: "Oh, oh, oh, Master Fish, you are the most powerful cockroach in the world!"
"Yes, and I can run really fast too."
After saying that, the child ran all over the place.
Yan Xingli suddenly hallucinated that there was a large cockroach running wildly in his house.
[Who let out such a wild cockroach? Was it you, Ah Yue?]
[Hahahaha, who recommended this cockroach costume to the kid? Now I can't help but describe cockroaches as "handsome" even when I see them.]
"..."
Once the agitated cockroach calmed down, Yan Xingli composed himself and organized his thoughts for a moment without any expression.
"Yuyu, it's very hot at home. Don't wear such thick clothes, take them off quickly."
Qi Youyu clenched her little hands, clearly unwilling.
Xiao Hua: "Brother Xing is right. You have an important party to attend tomorrow. It would be very impolite to get your dress dirty, Yu Yu."
"Okay, okay."
Yan Xingli's fingers, which were pressing on the end of his eyebrow, stiffened for a moment: "What dress?"
The child stepped forward, proudly puffing out his round, fluffy belly: "I'm going to wear this to see Sister Xiaofu tomorrow."
"..." Yan Xingli's eyes widened, his expression blank.
No, he encourages children to be themselves, but—
Okay, he's a product of feudal desires.
Yan Xingli looked at Yu Yu with awe, and after a while, he said weakly, "Yu Yu, how about I take you and Xiao Hua there, and I won't go in?"
Yu Yu's face turned very serious: "Uncle, children shouldn't go out alone, it's too dangerous."
So it turns out the girl who piloted the spaceship alone for seven hours wasn't her.
The child, having changed out of the cockroach costume, became 'approachable' again. Yan Xingli, holding a warm milk to calm his nerves, stood by the window gazing into the distance.
Qi Youyu was holding a box in her arms and nudged his knee with her head.
"Uncle, I'll be a little busy today, you can play by yourself."
"What, busy summoning your cockroach offspring?"
A question mark slowly rose above the child's head.
"Uncle, I am a human being."
Yan Xingli: "Okay, go have fun."
Qi Youyu took off the box in her arms, lined up the contents, then bent over and lay on the ground, starting to use her imagination to draw a queen's cloak.
The young lady strode over to the child, occasionally nudging the child's chin with her head and letting out a sweet meow.
The cat queen's methods were so sophisticated that the fish couldn't resist at all.
I have to pet my clingy cat after just a couple of strokes; at this rate, I'll be finishing the drawing tomorrow.
Yu Yu carefully avoided Qian Jin's affectionate touch.
"I have something to do and can't play with you."
Meow Princess: Meow meow meow~
"If you come any closer, I'll turn you into a rice ball!" Fishy threatened in a childish voice, wrinkling her little nose, "and then I'll eat you up in one bite."
Rice balls? That sounds delicious.
Sunshine, children, and cats—a peaceful and idyllic life.
After taking photos and recording the event, Yan Xingli, with his iron fist, ruthlessly took away the troublesome young lady.
There's no children's desk at home, and Yu Yu's posture of lying down to draw is not healthy. It can easily compress the heart and obstruct blood circulation.
Yan Xingli thought for a moment, found a furniture store on the map, changed his clothes and took his car keys.
"Yuyu, your uncle is going out for a while."
With Xiaohua watching over the house, he wasn't worried about any danger.
The child propped himself up on his little legs and shook them: "Okay, let's go quickly."
The huge house was now empty except for two furry children: a human baby and a robot.
Xiao Hua gently stayed by Qi Youyu's side.
"Clever Fish, are you planning to design the Queen's cloak using seven colors?"
"Yes, rainbows are beautiful, so I want to paint my cape rainbow-colored."
"Fish, even if you are not a little scientist, you will become an outstanding genius painter."
"Thank you, Xiaohua."
Qi Youyu always gives gifts based on her friends' characteristics and needs. The first time she saw Little Barbie, she felt that she was like an elegant little princess.
The little princess is destined to be a queen when she grows up.
So she wanted to give her the coolest queen's cape.
Yu Yu had a burst of inspiration and finished drawing the queen's cloak in just ten minutes. The child was extremely satisfied with her drawing. After showing it to Xiao Hua, she showed it to Eleme and Qianjin in turn.
All that's missing is my uncle.
Not long after, Yan Xingli, who works at the furniture store, received a text message notification from an unknown number.
Normally, he avoids looking at messages from strangers to avoid being scammed, but this time he inexplicably clicked on one.
Uncle, please drive home on the highway.
Uncle, my heart is racing.
Yan Xingli's eyebrows curved into a smile; he knew without a doubt that this message must have come from Yu Yu.
He probably used some high-tech method to get himself a SIM card and lock his phone number.
He called back: "Why is your heart wandering?"
"Uncle!" the child exclaimed excitedly, "Are you coming back?"
"Soon."
"I've finished drawing the Queen's cloak, and I want you to come back and see it," the child said. "My heart always skips a beat when you're not home."
A quirky and childlike description.
Yan Xingli pressed his fist to his lips: "So, does that mean I won't be jumping around anymore when I come back?"
The child on the phone hesitated for a moment, then immediately shook his head and said, "I'll still jump around. If I don't jump, I'll wash myself clean."
So she knew, Yan Xingli couldn't help but chuckle.
On the way home, Yan Xingli casually bought two boxes of Swiss rolls, which the kids love.
As soon as he entered, a fawning dog appeared at his feet. Yan Xingli raised his hand, holding a Swiss roll, only to have a bucket of cold water poured on him:
"Your mom said you've gained weight and need to lose it. Go run a couple of laps on the treadmill."
The short tail that had been shaking like a propeller suddenly wilted, and the dog's watery eyes looked at its owner.
Having long since developed a heart of stone, Yan Xingli didn't even glance at anyone as he strode into the living room.
"Yuyu, Uncle is back."
The little solid cannonball rushed over, holding up the painting: "Uncle, look at my queen's cape!"
Yan Xingli took it and examined it carefully.
To be fair, the lines drawn by the child are quite rough and bold, and the colorful piled together is a bit hard on the eyes.
But it's not hard to see that it was painted with care: "It's well painted, with rich layers of color."
The comments were mixed, but most were quite friendly; most people are normal and wouldn't be so harsh as to speak ill of a child.
The colorful cloak was adorned with many small bows, making it look rather gaudy.
Instead of directly saying it would damage a child's confidence, Yan Xingli put it another way: "Won't so many bows make it difficult to clean?"
"No, it won't." Fish had thought of everything. "It will wash itself."
[What Yu Yu meant was that the cloak would be made of a material that doesn't easily get dirty.]
Trust me, any material for kids' clothes will get dirty eventually. (smiling emoji)
Self-cleaning function.
Yan Xingli's meaningful gaze fell on Qi Youyu.
"We're going to a party tomorrow, is it possible to get everything done in just one day?"
Yu Yu, pouting her little belly, said, "No problem, Xiao Hua will help me."
Yan Xingli looked at Xiaohua and said, "Thank you for your hard work, Xiaohua."
With time running out and the task heavy, Xiaohua interfered with the camera's signal and secretly replaced the footage from the guest room.
The footage captured by the camera showed the child sleeping soundly in the blanket, but the actual footage showed the Little Fish floating in mid-air, with Qi Youyu squatting inside, fiddling with the Queen's cloak.
*
Yan Xingli had communicated with Little Barbie's father beforehand about the photographer following them, and the father not only didn't mind, but was actually quite happy that his daughter's party could be seen by many viewers.
Half an hour before departure, Yan Xingli pleaded with Yu Yu until she finally didn't wear that cockroach dress.
Yu Yu felt a little disappointed, but it didn't matter. Her uncle said that on his birthday, she could wear a cockroach dress all day long.
Thinking about this made Yu Yu happy.
The birthday party was attended by children, with parents just joining along the way. Qi Youyu's eyes lit up as soon as she entered the hall.
So many little princesses and princes!
"Fish, welcome."
Little Barbie noticed Yu Yu as soon as she came in. She quickly went forward to greet her new friend and called her in broken but affectionate Chinese.
Qi Youyu held Little Barbie's hand and said happily, "Sister Xiao Fu, you can speak our language now."
She looked the other woman up and down in her elegant pink gown and exclaimed, "You're so beautiful! You're a real princess, aren't you?"
Based on Yu Yu's facial expressions and body language, Xiao Fu guessed that the other person was praising her, and immediately thanked her sincerely in broken Chinese.
Qi Youyu thought Xiao Fu's outfit was a perfect match for the queen's cape.
She eagerly handed the gift box she was holding to Xiao Fu: "Inside is a queen's cape that I made. Would you like to open it and take a look?"
Xiao Fu nodded and opened the gift box amidst curious gazes.
The moment the gaudy cape appeared, snickers immediately broke out around it. Good heavens, how could someone dare to give such an outdated color scheme as a gift? How embarrassing!
Yan Xingli turned his head slightly and glared at the crowd without making a sound.
The Queen's cloak has a texture similar to silk, smooth and soft to the touch. Even with its bold color scheme and extravagant design, the sentiment behind the gift far exceeds its intrinsic value.
After her initial surprise, Xiao Fu was delighted and kept saying thank you.
Yu Yu enthusiastically explained, "These bows on the cape are little wings, so you can fly."
With Xiaohua not around, and Yuyu speaking in Chinese, Little Barbie tilted her head in confusion.
Qi Youyu pointed to the bow on her cloak, then flapped her short arms vigorously, making a flying motion:
"A butterfly has wings that can fly."
Barbie's icy blue eyes lit up, revealing a joyful smile.
Little Barbie, having misunderstood, started dancing with the fish.
She spun around and around, and the dizzy fish thought: Oh no, she seems to have flown away.
After the dance ended, Qi Youyu, fearing that Xiao Fu would want to continue dancing, quickly made an excuse and slipped away like a fish.
Barbie's dad hit it off with Yan Xingli at first sight and chatted with him for most of the day. While he was responding to the conversation, he kept an eye on what was happening in the corner of his eye.
Qi Youyu sat on a small chair, taking small bites of cake. Her two short, chubby legs swung leisurely, and her round, lively eyes, like those of a deer, darted back and forth.
The next second, I was caught off guard and met a pair of eyes filled with unease and fear.
At the moment of impact, those eyes, like those of a startled rabbit, immediately looked away.
Qi Youyu became interested and openly fixed her gaze on the owner of the eyes. Then she jumped off the chair and walked over to the other person.
Hello, what's your name?
Zheng Yue lowered her head in a panic and grasped her mother's hand with a pleading look.
Shen Lan didn't rush to stand up for her daughter. Instead, she bent down and touched her daughter's face.
"Yueyue, this child wants to get to know you. Let's respond bravely and not be afraid."
Zheng Yue's head was bowed low, making her face almost impossible to see.
Qi Youyu scratched her forehead, and Kuchi bent down, revealing a set of teeth stained black by chocolate cake:
"I'm here."
Zheng Yue: ...
Qi Youyu was clean and white all over, except for her small mouth, which was pitch black, instantly making Zheng Yue laugh.
With a smile in her eyes, Shen Lan pulled a tissue from her pocket and handed it to Yu Yu.
Fish looked bewildered.
Zheng Yue covered her mouth and stammered, "Your, your mouth is black."
After saying that, she kindly took out a small mirror from her bag.
Qi Youyu took a look and the sky fell down.
"Ouch!" The child wiped his mouth, his cheeks slowly turning red. "Oh no, I've changed color."
Shen Lan: "Don't worry, it'll wipe off easily."
Zheng Yue: "Yes, yes, yes."
By the time Qi Youyu had cleaned herself up again, the atmosphere between the two children was completely different.
Shen Lan doesn't watch TV much, but she occasionally watches the variety shows her husband Zheng Xiaofeng is in charge of.
What a coincidence! I ran into a guest from "My Little One" here.
Seeing that her daughter and Qi Youyu got along well, her heart slowly calmed down.
Zheng Yue mustered her courage and cautiously stretched out a small hand: "I...I am called Zheng, Zheng Yue, Yue."
Zheng Yue didn't expect that after she only glanced at Yu Yu a few times, Yu Yu would come over and start a conversation with her.
Zheng Yue, who was used to being ignored and neglected by her peers, was somewhat flattered and at a loss.
"Wow, your name is Yueyue, what a cute name."
She was praised by the children? Zheng Yue was both happy and shy.
"What...what's your name?"
Qi Youyu puffed out her little chest, raised her chin, and said loudly, "My name is Qi Youyu, everyone calls me Yuyu. I like to invent little toys. I'm three and a half years old."
He's only three and a half years old. No wonder he's so short; he's so small.
Zheng Yue smiled sweetly, a small dimple appearing on her cheek: "Yu Yu, hello."
"Wait for me a minute." The urge to urinate came so suddenly that Qi Youyu didn't care about her new friend. She clutched her stomach, said a few words, and ran off.
As she came out of the restroom, several children blocked her way: "Don't play with Zheng Yue."
"Why?"
"Because she has a stutter, and stuttering is contagious. Whoever plays with her will become a stutterer."
Qi Youyu frowned: "But I didn't become a stutterer."
That's because you two just played together.
Qi Youyu waved her hand: "I'm not afraid, I want to play with her."
Zheng Yue was surprised that Yu Yu had returned. Usually, once the children learned that she had a stutter, they would not come to see her again.
Qi Youyu brought over a small cake and gave one to Zheng Yue: "This won't change color, feel free to eat it."
"You..." Zheng Yue was confused. "I... I have a stutter. Aren't you afraid?"
Qi Youyu raised her hand and assured them, "I'm not busy, I'll listen carefully."
"The cake is so delicious, hehe."
"Is that right?"
Zheng Yue softly agreed, "Yes, it's delicious."
Upon hearing her answer, Qi Youyu straightened up, stared intently at Zheng Yue, quickly finished the cake in her hand in a few large bites, and turned around to put the plate back in its original place.
Finally, he took a deep breath and gently hugged Zheng Yue, his body filled with the aroma of strawberry cake.
"What you said is very good."
"Here's a reward for you."
*
As Yan Xingli watched Qi Youyu finish the third small cake and was about to pick up the fourth, he immediately turned his toes around.
Even the most delicious cake shouldn't be eaten in excess. If it ruins his teeth, how can he face his parents?
In a secluded corner on the second floor, a man in an expensive bespoke suit, with a cynical smile and undisguised malice in his eyes, followed closely behind the figure as graceful as green bamboo.
Bai Ji is Yan Xingli's college classmate and also his longtime hater.
I've been stalking Yan Xingli ever since his debut, watching his live streams every single day without missing a second, and I have hundreds of accounts dedicated to criticizing him.
I never expected to have such an unexpected reward from watching the live stream.
Yan Xingli was actually coming to attend his sister's classmate's birthday party. Originally, Bai Ji disdained attending such a children's gathering, but in order to expose Yan Xingli in front of hundreds of thousands of viewers in the live broadcast room, he changed his mind and begged and pleaded to come along.
Pshaw, what French expert?
Does someone who failed the CET-4 (College English Test Band 4) three times deserve to have this kind of persona?
Let this upper-class man who studied in England for four years tell him what a language genius is.
Bai Ji loosened his suit collar and gave a confident smile.
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